Same here, BBBJE. -_-
The interaction thing is an excellent point. I like that porn is made for the masses, not a two way conversation.
Miss Kitty wrote:
This has been an issue in my relationship too, I worked in the adult industry though never did nude stuff or porn. However I knew girls that did and the horrible mess they often ended up in with drugs, STI's and abuse.... I'm sure not all end up so bad but one friend in the industry had a stalker turn up on her doorstep with a gun - her best friend took the bullet for her, fatally. And so I have seen the realities behind the harmless fun and fantasy.
However this is irrelevant on the relationship scale. I objected to my partner using it because why should he be jacking off when I do not get the sex I want? I have a far higher libido than him - or any man I met - and for him to be humping a prostitute paid money for sexual acts in his mind while I go without was unreasonable to me. And so he stopped. He tried to sneak and lie - I caught him and punished him, he stopped.
When sex is freely and constantly on offer (amazing sex, willing to try anything sex, and downright kinky sex with an ex model) why do they sneak off for their jollies then? satisfy themselves and leave their real life woman wanting and knowing they will be pissed if they find out he denied her for a wank over someone else? That I would like to know
I have the opposite scenario - my OH has a much reduced drive at the moment (for the past couple of years) and so rather than struggle to contain myself I just say knackers and watch whatever porn I want!
She has told me she doesn't really mind in the past and the situation calls for a method for me to get my jollies without cheating or otherwise creating more problems, I've always enjoyed the odd bit of porn so it seems natural to carry on with it.
It's a bit of a sad situation but we are soldiering on! I hope I don't end up only able to respond to porn though - I'm sure that can't happen, can it? :-O
aha! that hentai stuff is a bit too surreal for me, i always ended up chuckling at it. :)
Yes i think watching porn either alone or as couple is great fun and everyone should do it
Littlemisshorny wrote:
we like home made :)
that's easily the best type!
i watch a bit every now and again, i have a very curious mind and find that i will search through almost every category to find something new and different! More often than not i look through about 10 videos for about 5 seconds of each and decide that porn is just pretty much all a bit overdone and boring lol!
i actively encourage KP to find porn that she likes so i can check it out! i have a thing about seeing the world from other peoples perspectives so seeing whatother people like is very interesting for me. That and KP chooses some excellent porn lol External Media
Cock Lover wrote:
Yes i think watching porn either alone or as couple is great fun and everyone should do it
Unless you happen to believe, as I do, that the porn industry is hugely misogynistic and abusive towards women in general. My DH doesn't watch porn, never has, not because he has the same moral objections to it that I have but because he doesn't like it and doesn't find it a turn on at all.
Just because I dislike porn doesn't mean that I don't love sex btw.
I suggest that anyone who thinks that porn is just harmless fun, reads this :
Cruel to be hard: Men and pornography , by Robert Jensen.
Care to share some of your & KP's discoveries DD? :)
My OH has never looked for or downlaoded porn (as far as I know), but we do sometimes watch DVDs together - pretty tame stuff live the Lover's Guide series, but it certainly gets in the mood and we usually end up shagging on the sofa with the TV on. I love getting a BJ whilst watching a couple on the TV, kind of live having a 4-some I guess:-)
spankmebaby wrote:
Cock Lover wrote:
Yes i think watching porn either alone or as couple is great fun and everyone should do it
Unless you happen to believe, as I do, that the porn industry is hugely misogynistic and abusive towards women in general. My DH doesn't watch porn, never has, not because he has the same moral objections to it that I have but because he doesn't like it and doesn't find it a turn on at all.
Just because I dislike porn doesn't mean that I don't love sex btw.
I suggest that anyone who thinks that porn is just harmless fun, reads this :
Cruel to be hard: Men and pornography , by Robert Jensen.
As has been mentioned porn doesn't just include the industry. Many people find it too scripted and generally rubbish, me included... Doesn't stop people liking Swedish home movies though!
Be careful not to write all porn off as misogynistic, there is plenty of porn that isn't.External Media
It's better than having a 'real' affair ... trust me
Porn is fantasy. It allows you to watch stuff you like and would enjoy happening to you but often know that in the real world it wouldn't or shouldn't happen to you.
Think of porn in food terms. Its a bit like fast food, full fat full sugar and hits the spot. Shortly after though you feel a bit empty. Real sex is like a great meal. You share it, saviour the tastes and flavours. It stays with you and you enjoy it together. Its something you remember together.
I agree with other blokes on here , we are very visual creatures. I don't get much joy lying by myself masturbating but add some good porn and its way better.
I think men and women should try and be honest about watching porn. We have together and it was one of the hottest night we've ever had.
A friend told me a story about his girlfriend who was disgusted by his porn collection. He said ' ok but I have a higher sex drive than you. I'll give it up if you give me a blow job every time I feel like having a wank'
the deal lasted a week...
Do all men watch porn? Honestly I'm not sure. I've been in groups with men in a safe enviroment to share and some have said 'no'.
I little bit of me wonders if they've only ever seen bad porn. Because there is a world of difference!
I watch porn. I love porn, There I said it. That feels good!
We both watch it, both together and apart and it's always been an accepted thing (although our relationship was long-distance for the first year, so that may be why it doesn't phase us so much). And if one of us isn't in the mood the other one'l ljsut go off and..you know, 'exorcise their demons' :P
although independently, he prefers porn and I'm more on an Erotica reader. ;)
BigPoppa wrote:
A friend told me a story about his girlfriend who was disgusted by his porn collection. He said ' ok but I have a higher sex drive than you. I'll give it up if you give me a blow job every time I feel like having a wank'the deal lasted a week...
That long? Really? :-)
Seriously, it's not just a question of sex drive, i think that in general men prefer to look at naughty things more than women.
I'm not sure that's entirely true Spanky - I watch as much as the men I know, I'm just more selective about what it is!
SS xx
Spanky H wrote:
Care to share some of your & KP's discoveries DD? :)
My OH has never looked for or downlaoded porn (as far as I know), but we do sometimes watch DVDs together - pretty tame stuff live the Lover's Guide series, but it certainly gets in the mood and we usually end up shagging on the sofa with the TV on. I love getting a BJ whilst watching a couple on the TV, kind of live having a 4-some I guess:-)
I've got most of my favourite stuff by typing "trib" and "tribadism" into Youporn.com
xxKPxx
KittyPurry wrote:
Spanky H wrote:
Care to share some of your & KP's discoveries DD? :)
My OH has never looked for or downlaoded porn (as far as I know), but we do sometimes watch DVDs together - pretty tame stuff live the Lover's Guide series, but it certainly gets in the mood and we usually end up shagging on the sofa with the TV on. I love getting a BJ whilst watching a couple on the TV, kind of live having a 4-some I guess:-)
I've got most of my favourite stuff by typing "trib" and "tribadism" into Youporn.com
xxKPxx
oooh, nice :)
I have trouble finding such things!
Spanky H wrote:
BigPoppa wrote:
A friend told me a story about his girlfriend who was disgusted by his porn collection. He said ' ok but I have a higher sex drive than you. I'll give it up if you give me a blow job every time I feel like having a wank'the deal lasted a week...
That long? Really? :-)
Seriously, it's not just a question of sex drive, i think that in general men prefer to look at naughty things more than women.
Hey, Spanky. I think men and women are both very visual but it's a less encouraged norm for the latter sex.
Our society tells us that men want sex for pleasure but when they go into why women want sex it's always an ulterior motive.
Rarely is it said that a woman wants sex because it feels good.
I think this is what funds every magazine article writing how women need imagination, scented candles and an orchestral choir during a planetary alignment to become interested in sex.
That said everyone is different and I know many women who feel nothing watching porn, but that can be said for many men too. Quite a number simply fall of their chair laughing but perhaps they haven't found the good stuff yet.......
But where is this "good stuff"? by that I mean stuff that doesn't involve a skanky, inflatable looking woman being penetrated in every hole by aggressive men.
I've tried Petra Joy stuff, supposedly porn from a female POV, tbh I found it fairly ridiculous, but maybe that's just me.
The only thing I've seen that I found in any way a turn on/erotic, was Tristan Taormino's guide to anal - it's very well done imho, even though we're not particularly into anal.
There is far too much nasty stuff available online for anyone to access, that can't possibly be healthy for young men and women who are almost brainwashed into thinking that anal /ass to mouth/slapping/choking etc. is relatively normal fare , sex should primarily be about enjoyment, not about hurting or humiliating someone. Getting into kinkier / more extreme sex demands total trust and respect, I can't imagine porn shows much of that.
Whoa! Porn content aside a second, but anal/slapping etc and realted bdsm things ARE 'relatively normal fare' for many, many people. It'as also perfectly healthy - and enjoyable for many people - or they wouldn't do it. For many people, the aspects you are using to illustrate the opposite of enjoyment (humiliation/pain) are the very things they find enjoyable.
I'm not arguing the main point - yes, of course it would be great to see more realistic porn - but that isn't hard to find and most young people recognise now that the amature stuff is often better as well as more honest. It's really not hard to find either.
However your post, intentionally or not, came across as extremely judgmental. While not everytihing willl appeal to everyone, no one person can label what is 'normal' or relatively normal.
bigbrownblowjobeyes wrote:
Whoa! Porn content aside a second, but anal/slapping etc and realted bdsm things ARE 'relatively normal fare' for many, many people. It'as also perfectly healthy - and enjoyable for many people - or they wouldn't do it. For many people, the aspects you are using to illustrate the opposite of enjoyment (humiliation/pain) are the very things they find enjoyable.
I'm not arguing the main point - yes, of course it would be great to see more realistic porn - but that isn't hard to find and most young people recognise now that the amature stuff is often better as well as more honest. It's really not hard to find either.
However your post, intentionally or not, came across as extremely judgmental. While not everytihing willl appeal to everyone, no one person can label what is 'normal' or relatively normal.
Most people who enjoy BDSM and other things like that usually have fantasies about theese activities long before they watch porn!