So recently me and my other half have been talking more about having a threesome.
I'm still unsure of the idea as I cant help but wonder how I'll feel afterwards- jealous, hurt, etc.
I know its just sex, and I'm thinking it may be a one time thing just to experience it.
We were unanimous in wanting the third party to be another lady, and I'm just wondering if anyone has done this/ considered this, and how did you go about it/ how did you feel afterwards? What was your experience?
Thanks :)
No personal experience, but I agree with your thoughts jelous, hurt etc, you will just never know. The idea with two females is obviously extremely attractive to a man, but if it was the other way, not sure how your OH would feel.
As in love and hate, there can sometimes be a thin line between fantasy and reality. But you are on the right forum here, so pretty sure you will get some good advice. Love x
I mean the idea I am really up for, I really am excited by it, but I wouldnt know how to go about it without getting hurt?
My OH has been good about it, not pushing me into anything, but I think the more I let on how I am seriously considering this the more he gets his hopes up!
x
We both had our first 3some when younger, long before we met. We've had a few since then, both MFM and FMF. They work best if the two same-sex partners are bisexual or bi-curious.
You need to discuss things in detail with your OH before you start, for example does your OH want to interact sexually with the other woman? Is she happy for you to have penetrative sex with another female while she's there, or does she prefer a soft-swinging experience? (One where you have foreplay with the other female but not full sex). Are you going to use condoms? What will happen if either of you isn't happy with the set-up and wants things to stop?
We have the occasional FMF with one of R's bi girlfriends. Our usual routine is for the women to play together for a while then for G to join them in bed. Sometimes a girlfriend will stay over and we sleep 3 to a bed (not recommended for your first threesome).
One caution though, finding a single female to join you for an FMF is not going to be easy. We'd advise your OH not to invite one of her 'vanilla' friends as that's not likely to work too well. Your best bet would be to go to a swinger club and try to seek a female to join you there.
Hope you bring your fantasy into reality - it can be truly mind-expanding to have sex with more than 2 people involved, and if you can overcome feelings of jealousy (many people can't) it can be a lovely addition to your lifestyle. Good luck and have fun!
So whick was most fun? Does being curious help?
Well we have discussed it in a little detail, I'm bi-curious, he isnt, so we know if we decide to go ahead it will be with a woman.
I'm happy for him to fully participate as long as he wears protection!
The thing is this is all in theory. I think I would be ok at the time, but its the after I worry about, though we're both open minded and like trying new things, so I think I'll probably be ok.
Its also the finding a girl. I've checked out a few websites, which are great if you want to pay a monthly fee! I wouldnt know how else to go about it! And though we're both open and confident, I'm so paranoid about it being awkward!
x
I have had two 3-somes while i have been with my partner, the first was fine as we'd both known her for the same length of time, the 2nd he'd known her for years and after i was like, if we do it again its on my terms and it will be with someone we've known for the same amount of time like the first. I have had many 3-somes out of a relationship and was perfectly fine but the 2nd one i had with my boyfriend i fet abit wary as he'd slept with her before and whether he wanted her and not me. My boyfriend has always said 'i'm going home with you, i live with you, and it's just abit of fun' I know that but after the last one its still quite hard. I am a bisexual and for me to go 'nope 3-somes are just out of the question' was a big thing for me as i love women!! Take your time, think about it and you've got to go into it with an open mind :D
Hmm does sound fun! But mff or mmf?
Wondering75 wrote:
Hmm does sound fun! But mff or mmf?
Not surprisingly, she prefers MFM and he prefers FMF, even though we're both bi. Doesn't really matter though, having a 3rd (or more) person present really adds a completely new dimension to sex, maybe because we've all been conditioned to think of it as "wrong." It's actually quite natural really.
Well we would never go with someone either of us knew, because I'd never be able to look them in the eye again!
We just really dont know how to go about it, how to find someone. Its more difficult that we thought x
Definitely feel conditioned to think a mmf three sum is supposed to be wrong! It might that that makes it an exciting idea?
We've been talking about swinging/threesomes for the past while, and are actually leaning towards trying an MMF for our first one. We're both bi and love the idea of it - it's only after joining a swinging site and chatting to some other guys that I came across a particular guy who made me think, "Yes, I could let him have sex with my missus." It was a small realisation that actually meant a lot, and so I think we'll go ahead with that.
With both of us it's all about finding someone who's chilled out and not at all threatening to either of us - as soon as I was able to think of another guy in this light, then I became happy to go ahead with it. We'll still plan an MFF at some point, in the interest of fairness ;) But for now we're looking at an MMF and we'll no doubt do a write up of our experiences afterwards!
It is much, much easier to find another couple to join you for swinging than a single, certainly a single female.
You might like to think about having an MFMF 4some and then one person sitting things out (watching and maybe taking pics or a film) while the other 3 play together. That way you can try MFM and FFM during the same session. It's worked for us.
Good luck anyway!
We've been in contact with another couple through FAB's.
Turns out OH used to work with him and they used to get on so we met them for drinks the other day and are having some fun with them next week.
I don't necessarily agree with swingcouple above, it's easier to find a single male than a couple (as you all have to be happy) but totally agree when they say that it's very difficult to find a single lady.
Don't know how it would work having a 4some for one of the people to sit out (even if you do take it in turns) as you're not going to be in that scenario for very long - certainly not long enough to know if that's what you want instead.
Minxbaby wrote:
Don't know how it would work having a 4some for one of the people to sit out (even if you do take it in turns) as you're not going to be in that scenario for very long - certainly not long enough to know if that's what you want instead.
Yeah, this is the reason we're more keen on threesomes than a foursome for now - we don't want one of us sitting it out at all, we want to both experience a full MMF and MFF and go from there.
Which is strange, as we originally thought a foursome would be easier to get started with. But to be honest I'm not so sure.
There are certainly plenty of single guys - it's just about finding the right one. I do believe that single girls are harder to find, and have already been warned about the amount of fake profiles on the site we use. But for now we're looking at an MMF, so hopefully that'll be easier to sort!
When you are trying to find someone, thing not "what can she do for us" but also "what can we do for her?" and highlight that fact. There needs to be something in it for her otherwise why would she. As a Single woman I often join couples but people sayinh thing like this is our first time, we want to spice our sex life up, my girlfriend wants to try with a woman etc would really put me off. I'd just see that as me putting myself in a position to end up in the middle of an argument between a couple who aren't sure and want to use me as a guinepig.
lilac_vix wrote:
When you are trying to find someone, thing not "what can she do for us" but also "what can we do for her?" and highlight that fact. There needs to be something in it for her otherwise why would she. As a Single woman I often join couples but people sayinh thing like this is our first time, we want to spice our sex life up, my girlfriend wants to try with a woman etc would really put me off. I'd just see that as me putting myself in a position to end up in the middle of an argument between a couple who aren't sure and want to use me as a guinepig.
That's really excellent advice and very much appreciated :) Thank you!
If it were FMF I'd try it with a SO. Last 3some I had was mfm, younger girl, me, and a good looking older ~30 y/o guy, no couples involved... Me and the girl didn't know each other but knew the guy, who organized it. Back in my swinging younger days ;)
We were only talking about this the other week,She said she could never have a 3sum as im hers no one elses and i told im not bothered anymore,She said really she thought most men would be up for it,I told her when i was younger yea it was on my mind,Then she was talking about her work mate she is in her 40's 10years older than me,They have a joke about me at work her work mate saying about kissing me and other things like if her work mate said she had a new bra on my OH would say i would like to see that,Thing is i know they are joking but now i have her workmate in my mind as ive allways wanted to have a older gf,I even had a wet dream about my OH and her Workmate felt so blooming real as i woke myself up in the dream as i was genty moaning.
If she said lets have a 3sum then it would only be with her if i was picking.
Wow all sounds amazing! Always thought of a 3sum! But was always mff! But now have a bi thinking so thinking of mmf one to try and explore that side?