I think I mentioned on here a few weeks ago that I have a peeping Tom. It’s a guy in his sixties who looks out the back window of his house into our rear bedroom. At first I caught him out the corner of my eye looking but recently he has got a seat and a pair of binoculars. I don’t mind him looking and my husband is ok with it. It’s just me getting dressed in the morning. Ok I start naked but there is only one house which can see into our bedroom.
Now the problem.
This has been going on for about six weeks and last Friday apparently his wife caught him looking. I have never met either of them but she sounds a vindictive person as she took to our neighbourhood Covid WhatsApp group to berate me to all the people in the area. Currently I haven’t replied and my husband said to leave WhatsApp alone. What do my LH friends think I should do?
Absolutely nothing to be gained by replying. You’ve done nothing wrong, he’s a perv and she’s the wife of a perv. Keep a copy of the WhatsApp messages though.
But the temptation to post a clip on the WhatsApp group of the scene from Pretty Woman with Kit De Luca and the old couple in the hotel lobby must be almost overwhelming…
I wouldn’t engage as these things have a way of escalating.
His wife is certainly a keyboard warrior, but not brave enough to confront you directly and to what end, what you do in your house is up to you. Though if she had come round and suggested that you might wish to close your curtains that would have been considered a reasonable request.
She more probably should have had a word with her husband, if he accidentally saw you that is one thing, but to have a chair and binoculars is slightly disconcerting, has he been recording you?
I would just leave it alone and let it blow over, there will be some other piece of neighbourhood gossip from all to latch on to very shortly.
This sounds interesting, did you mind him looking and did you enjoy it? On the WhatsApp I wouldn’t reply, it’s hard not to fight your corner and give your version of events but I wouldn’t. Xx
I wouldn’t reply as such, but I’d post a meme relating to them as your status … But that’s just my rebellious sense of humour
You’ve done nothing wrong, it’s your house. You didn’t put his chair or binoculars where he could perv on you. You could print off pics of his wife and put them at your window in case he gets the urge to perv again sorry
100% i would respond be telling all your neighbours how much of a perv he is .
If it was my wife i would be banging on his door and telling her and him to there face .
The devil in me says take a photo of him in his window with his binoculars and put that on the WhatsApp group with a simple emoji but deep down, I agree with those who have advised saving the existing messages and say nothing but, if she’s as vindictive as you suggest, that in itself may prompt her to ramp it up so I’d suggest getting that photo and saving it for a later date if needed.
I think i’m with most on here and would not reply, you are better than that. I did love the answer @The_Little_Ladybird suggested though. It sums it up perfectly. @Love_Stud_Too
I would definitely reply that’s just me though and I need to learn when to bite my tongue and walk away but sadly I’m not that much of a bigger person.
You probably shouldn’t reply but maybe message the woman privately and explain the story
Personally i WOULD reply and state that it was HER husband who set up a chair and binoculars to peep at you going about your daily business in your own home, and maybe it’s him she should be berating. But that’s how i am!
I’d strongly feel the urge to reply, but it would depend on the context of what she said. If she’s blaming you for getting dressed in your own bedroom, well she’s just a fool and surely others will see that and probably best to ignore. If she’s attacking you for another reason (like accusing you of cheating or something), I’d tell her that she better look inside her own house for the problem and ask if she’s found the binoculars out of place.
People are always looking for someone else to blame when often the problem is right in front of them.
Oh feck this would be really hard not to reply to but I think it depends what the wife is actually saying about you. Whats the context? I’m inclined to assume the context is that you’re the tease and her husband is in no way to blame.
If you were to mention the husband getting a seat and binoculars, then it’ll come across that you encouraged it by not putting a stop to it.
Say nothing so that you stay in the group and keep the screenshots, you could just call the police on him if he does it again. That’ll teach her
I wouldn’t reply. I had a similar situation with my other GF when at her house on my nights there rather than with Ms.Anony. She was a very very very petite Filipino (4’10 115 lbs) originally from Hawaii. She had and loved the open floor plan free flowing air model house design.
Since I could clearly see into her (very close nearby) neighbors houses. I was skittish about having them see me and or us naked initially. She laughed about it. And said something all the lines of if they want to watch I’m proud to be seen with you naked in my house. (And I was proud to be seen with her in the same context). Eventually she had me come onto her back patio with her naked. It was closed off, but on a hill and her next door neighbors could see straight down on us.
To me, as with everyone’s advice. Don’t engage. But to me that means don’t acknowledge it by changing your behavior if that’s what you want to do, because some Karen is upset about it. You’re not holding the binoculars to his eyes. But you would be the one changing your life in your house if you’re bullied into it because of a Karen and I don’t think that’s right for you to be forced to do. If it’s not what you choose is right for you with your husband’s conversation and agreement.
Long story short. If you’re comfortable. And your Husband knows and is ok with it. I personally think altering your habits due to someone else is the true invasion of your privacy.
Your house. Your body. Your life. Your choice. Your husband. Karen’s problem. Peepers choice. And honestly, I don’t know that it’s any more pervy for him to look, than it is for you to do it knowing he’s looking. (Him creeping around on your property on the other hand is a different story.) I got a thrill from it after a while. She certainly did. Maybe you do too. And I think all that’s perfectly fine as long as you and your husband are ok with it. (Including him enjoying the show you’re putting on for him).
My only actual concern would be that he’s using a telescoping camera to use against you to support Karen’s statements, at…Karen’s mandating demand of course.
Maybe that’s both your and his “what cheered me up this morning.” It happens all the time in super crowded high rise cities with people who know they are never going to see each other. It’s human nature to an extent, as long as it doesn’t end up in encroachment of personal property.
Does that make sense? In spite of it being probably the most controversial response you will likely receive?
As tempting as it is to reply, its probably best to just leave it. The wife is looking for a fight by posting it on social media, and you’d be giving her what she wants by rising to it.
Best to let he cool off and realise the anger should be directed at her husband. But like others have said, don’t change your ways, or she will have won.
emoji but deep down, I agree with those who have advised saving the existing messages and say nothing but, if she’s as vindictive as you suggest, that in itself may prompt her to ramp it up so I’d suggest getting that photo and saving it for a later date if needed.