Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 19th October 2020
Lifelike Lover Classic Girthy Realistic Dildo 7 Inch
I’ll be straight up and honest with you, I own a lot of dicks. I mean A LOT of dicks. For a young married girl I really should be ashamed of myself. I already own several of Lovehoney’s Lifelike Lover range of dildos, but whenever I see the word ‘Girthy’ appear on the Lovehoney website, I can be assured the postman will be knocking on my door the following day.
As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple, sexy and far from smutty. Inside the box, the dildo is sealed inside a plastic bag. The entire toy is made from soft PVC so it does have a mild plastic scent, but if you’re anything like me and obsessed with putting dildos in your mouth, I can assure you it has no taste.
Not only is it stunning to look at eye to eye, it has everything I could want from a dick. When I dream of a penis - and that’s quite often - it would look and feel just like this. It’s firm but flexible with a roadmap of thick veins down the entire shaft. It’s heavy, fat and swollen with the foreskin pulled tightly and permanently back behind a well pronounced coronal ridge collar of the head. It really is a thick dick to die for, and this ones ready to go whenever and wherever I want it.
A staggeringly pretty penis isn’t all you get with this beauty. Oh no. There are firm and weighty detailed testicles too. If you’re anything like myself and love the wet slap of balls against you (either against your clit, your bum or a butt plug depending on which way you choose to ride), you won’t be disappointed. Quite literally going down balls-deep and rubbing your clitoris against these firm full balls during masturbation makes this a gift that just keeps on giving.
Another reason I love this particular dildo is that those balls also double as a great handle for a steady grip even with heavily lubed hands. They also create a really safe stopping point making this dildo perfectly safe for anal play too - but only if you’re experienced and particularly brave like myself, oh and also have a bucket of lube.By my own measurements this fat fella offers just over 7 inches of challenging usable length and my god it’s thick with it. It may say 6”s of girth but when I measured I found it closer to 6.25” making this one of the thickest dildo I own. Almost.
The suction cup is one of the most important aspects of a dildo for me. I was concerned the weight of this willy would compromise it’s grip to my shower wall, how wrong I was. I’m a pretty rough girl but even after I’d finished abusing this beast I struggle to remove it from my tiles. It’s also fantastic to ride when positioned on the side of the bath, on the closed lid of the toilet, or my all-time favourite, sat on my tiled bathroom floor. Yes I know, I’ve been a busy girl.
I do need to mention the actual orgasms with this toy. I mean, this is all we really care about right? To feel your already stretched to the limit vaginal muscles involuntary try to clamp and contract around the thick shaft of dildos like this is just something else, there is no other sensation like it. I can only describe it as an extremely pleasurable orgasm laced with mild pulsating aches from taught muscle spasms - honestly it’s better than it sounds, in fact there is nothing better.
Even after cumming around this huge cock, it’s blissful sliding it out of myself, shuddering with the lingering sensations of my powerful climax’s as I do so and then to both feel and see the stretched state I’ve become.I’m also a massive anal lover and so I’ve tried it for this purpose several times now, but for me this dildo is just a little too big for the ways in which I really enjoy my toys. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s a fantastic size for anal play alone and with some gentle warming up - and a lot of lubricant, I can comfortably take the entire length. That alone feels amazing, but I’m an obsessive of double penetration and want all of everything inside me at once, and this is just too filling to allow me to accompany it with another dildo in my pussy. Luckily for me, I have other dildos or my husband I can use for the anal half of my DP sessions and keep this one for the front filling part of the fun.
My dildos can become a bit of a mess during my masturbation sessions, what with the combination of my uncontrollable squirting, arousal juices and the amount of lube I tend to use. Thankfully, this dildo is extremely easy to clean up after use. Wash with warm soapy water then whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to air dry.
In summary, this luscious lifelike is wonderful for those who like me want a little - or a lot - extra girth in their pussy play or filling anal enjoyment. It’s O-ring strap on harness compatible if you or your partner are feeling particularly adventurous - and courageous. It’s a little too much to handle for the anal side of DP for me, but for the pussy-part it’s perfection.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s sensationally filling.
Cons: I have none.
Bottom Line: This is one fat fella, proceed with caution.