My Reviews

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 10th September 2020

Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life Couple’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar

Christmas Cum Early

Christmas, the sexiest - and for us, the friskiest - time of the year. But with all the giving and receiving I’ve been up to these last few months, I’m definitely on the naughty list. But who said the good girls get all the gifts? And it’s not all about the presents on the big day itself - It’s the buildup to Christmas that’s the most exciting time for me.

Advent Calendars have always been a favourite of mine, but this carnal cache of toys is so much more tempting than chocolate - and tremendously more healthy for the mind and body both. So what’s inside? I’ll tell you now, you’ll get no spoilers from me. I’ll give you some sneaky snippets of some of the items that will stuff your stockings and deck your balls, but I won’t give specifics or what’s in what number door - Christmas is all about the surprise right? I can tell you though the contents of this calendar will leave you breathless, restless and feeling so much hotter than mulled wine could.

The overall size is actually a lot larger than I expected it to be and satisfyingly weighty, but at 43cm tall, a width of 27cm and modest depth of 14cm, don’t expect to find a 12 inch dildo lurking behind door number 7. The items within are each intentionally compact in size but by no means stingy. The saying “good things cum in small packages” could not be more true.

Each individual numbered door is perforated and has a clear area to indent your finger to make it easy to open just like the calendars we all know and love and each door is a different size and shape, further heightening that sense of variety, anticipation and longing for what’s to cum.

Although somewhat larger and in a hinged opening book format with magical magnetic fastenings, the classy yet Christmasy appearance and design of this looks deceptively like any other advent calendar, but that’s where the innocence ends. The gifts behind each window have been carefully, meticulously and specifically chosen to build a mind-blowing erotic experience up to and cum Christmas Eve.

Each item progressively complements the previous taking you on a journey of festive flirtation, erotic tension, tickling and a whole heap of teasing - oh, and did I mention the daily orgasms? Without revealing its entire contents, I can tell you there’s things in here that would make Santa blush redder than Rudolf’s nose.

From bondage gear to butt plugs, from penis strokers to bullet vibes, ben-wa balls and anal beads, the array of accessories is staggering. I’m far from a Sex Toy beginner but still every item in here caught my breath and made me gasp, and that was before I tried using them. And I can tell you the big finale on Christmas Eve is no anticlimax, day 24 gifted me possibly the biggest and most explosive climax of my year - If you love clitoral suction toys you’re in for a real treat… I’ll say no more.

This sex toy advent calendar is guaranteed to make your Christmas magically sexy, and if nothing else it completely overhauls your sex toy collection to transform it into a treasure trove of pleasure potential. Not only will it ignite your toy-box on fire, but it’ll introduced new things that you may not have otherwise tried. With the contents worth considerably more in total than their usual retail prices, this Calendar of kinky components represents fantastic value for money as well as a spicy boost to your sex-life up to and over the Christmas season – and well beyond that too I’m sure.

I honestly cannot recommend this enough. Whether you decide this is for you or a partner, both of you or even a gift for anyone else, I can promise you won’t be disappointed. If you weren’t on the naughty list before like myself, then you will be when you’ve worked your way through this mischievous month.

I hope you have a wonderfully naughty Christmas like us.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: The size and weight leaves me weak at the knees.

Cons: Do they make a bigger one?

Bottom Line: Provides prettiest and fullest filling I could ask for!

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 15th May 2020

Lovehoney Ignite 20 Function Mini Wand Vibrator

Mini But Mind-Blowing

It has to be said, I’m a Wand Girl through and through. I’ve got more wands than the wicked witch of the west. When I discovered this new luscious little luxury from Lovehoney, I couldn’t help but wonder, could this new mini-wand take the top spot in my bedside drawer? Either way, a girl can never have too many toys, so this one I had to have.

I won’t be monotonous and bore you with the delivery process, we all know how quick and discreet it always is. Let’s just say (and sorry for the spoiler) - it came nearly as fast as I did.

As with all of Lovehoneys own-brand toys, the packaging is simple but sexy, sultry and stylish. A stunning little magnetic door gives you a window to the wonders yet to come. (Excuse the pun). Inside the box the miniature wand is accompanied by the charging lead and a gorgeously sexy little storage bag.

I was quite taken back by how small and lightweight this wand is. I know it’s a mini but even so, it’s tiny - but girls, you know what they say about small things. It’s borderline bullet in size so it’s so much lighter and easier to hold than full-size wands like my Doxy DieCast 3R.

Simple controls for simple minds, it didn’t take me long to puzzle out this little powerhouse. One button and three speeds of power are more than enough for me. Already being semi-charged, there was no way I wasn’t trying it out right there and then.

With one button pressed, the toy was turned on- and so was I. With a small spot of lube to my already excitedly wet self - and trembling with anticipation - I lay back and took this wand for the wildest of test drives. Again, sorry for the spoiler, but I was climbing the walls within minutes.

I have to say there’s nothing ‘mini’ about the power of this toy, I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. The vibrations are strong and deeply rumbly on the lower setting – but do get a little buzzy on the highest one. The lowest setting is quite subtle but as the power increases, the reverberating rumbles are dramatically driven deep into your soul.

The soft and smooth silicone head is really flexible too so you can get the right amount of pressure on your clit. That’s what wands are all about right? I’m quite a rough girl with my toys and really like pressing them firmly into me, so flexibility is a must. And because it’s a wand style with a larger broad head, the delicious vibrations are quite widely dispersed thus stimulating not only your clit, but echoing into your vulva too.

I’m not such a lover of the vibe pattern modes, although I’m sure some people will be. There’s 17 sequences of varying pulses, but I’ve never been someone who loves patterns as I find they just keep me from reaching orgasm. I’m all for edge play but for me a wand is for getting there fail-safely fast. Constant consistent power is what sends me silly - and this delivers that fast.

Noise level also needs a mention. It really is almost silent. The tiniest of hums can be heard on the lowest setting and it does get a little louder as the powers turned up, but don’t we all! However, this is by far the quietest vibrating toy in my collection.

Where this wand excels dramatically over many of my other models is I can take it in the bath. Apologies to my rubber ducky, you’re not the only one squeaking in the tub now! Not only is it bath and shower safe, it’s soaking and shivering squirt safe too - wands seem to always make me explode and this one is no exception. The first time I climaxed using this I was dripping like a drain pipe.

Of course, being fully waterproof and totally silicone coated, cleaning is a breeze. Either wash with warm soapy water, wave over with sex toy wipes or whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to dry until your next back-arching adventure.

In summary, it’s Ignite by name and nature. It hasn’t got the edge over my big Doxy, but it still gets me there quick. It’s small in size but undeniably powerful. It’s bigger than a bullet so precision’s not pivotal. It’s rechargeable, cordless and perfect for travel. It’s pretty, petit and it now has pride of place on the side of my bath tub. Speaking of which, it’s time for a soak…

Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: Its curiously cute, mini and mighty!

Cons: Only negative is it’s a little buzzy on high power.

Bottom Line: Perfect bath time water wand, but in bed I’ll always be a Doxy girl.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 19th October 2020

Lifelike Lover Classic Girthy Realistic Dildo 7 Inch

Death By Dick

I’ll be straight up and honest with you, I own a lot of dicks. I mean A LOT of dicks. For a young married girl I really should be ashamed of myself. I already own several of Lovehoney’s Lifelike Lover range of dildos, but whenever I see the word ‘Girthy’ appear on the Lovehoney website, I can be assured the postman will be knocking on my door the following day.

As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple, sexy and far from smutty. Inside the box, the dildo is sealed inside a plastic bag. The entire toy is made from soft PVC so it does have a mild plastic scent, but if you’re anything like me and obsessed with putting dildos in your mouth, I can assure you it has no taste.

Not only is it stunning to look at eye to eye, it has everything I could want from a dick. When I dream of a penis - and that’s quite often - it would look and feel just like this. It’s firm but flexible with a roadmap of thick veins down the entire shaft. It’s heavy, fat and swollen with the foreskin pulled tightly and permanently back behind a well pronounced coronal ridge collar of the head. It really is a thick dick to die for, and this ones ready to go whenever and wherever I want it.

A staggeringly pretty penis isn’t all you get with this beauty. Oh no. There are firm and weighty detailed testicles too. If you’re anything like myself and love the wet slap of balls against you (either against your clit, your bum or a butt plug depending on which way you choose to ride), you won’t be disappointed. Quite literally going down balls-deep and rubbing your clitoris against these firm full balls during masturbation makes this a gift that just keeps on giving.

Another reason I love this particular dildo is that those balls also double as a great handle for a steady grip even with heavily lubed hands. They also create a really safe stopping point making this dildo perfectly safe for anal play too - but only if you’re experienced and particularly brave like myself, oh and also have a bucket of lube.By my own measurements this fat fella offers just over 7 inches of challenging usable length and my god it’s thick with it. It may say 6”s of girth but when I measured I found it closer to 6.25” making this one of the thickest dildo I own. Almost.

The suction cup is one of the most important aspects of a dildo for me. I was concerned the weight of this willy would compromise it’s grip to my shower wall, how wrong I was. I’m a pretty rough girl but even after I’d finished abusing this beast I struggle to remove it from my tiles. It’s also fantastic to ride when positioned on the side of the bath, on the closed lid of the toilet, or my all-time favourite, sat on my tiled bathroom floor. Yes I know, I’ve been a busy girl.

I do need to mention the actual orgasms with this toy. I mean, this is all we really care about right? To feel your already stretched to the limit vaginal muscles involuntary try to clamp and contract around the thick shaft of dildos like this is just something else, there is no other sensation like it. I can only describe it as an extremely pleasurable orgasm laced with mild pulsating aches from taught muscle spasms - honestly it’s better than it sounds, in fact there is nothing better.

Even after cumming around this huge cock, it’s blissful sliding it out of myself, shuddering with the lingering sensations of my powerful climax’s as I do so and then to both feel and see the stretched state I’ve become.I’m also a massive anal lover and so I’ve tried it for this purpose several times now, but for me this dildo is just a little too big for the ways in which I really enjoy my toys. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s a fantastic size for anal play alone and with some gentle warming up - and a lot of lubricant, I can comfortably take the entire length. That alone feels amazing, but I’m an obsessive of double penetration and want all of everything inside me at once, and this is just too filling to allow me to accompany it with another dildo in my pussy. Luckily for me, I have other dildos or my husband I can use for the anal half of my DP sessions and keep this one for the front filling part of the fun.

My dildos can become a bit of a mess during my masturbation sessions, what with the combination of my uncontrollable squirting, arousal juices and the amount of lube I tend to use. Thankfully, this dildo is extremely easy to clean up after use. Wash with warm soapy water then whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to air dry.

In summary, this luscious lifelike is wonderful for those who like me want a little - or a lot - extra girth in their pussy play or filling anal enjoyment. It’s O-ring strap on harness compatible if you or your partner are feeling particularly adventurous - and courageous. It’s a little too much to handle for the anal side of DP for me, but for the pussy-part it’s perfection.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s sensationally filling.

Cons: I have none.

Bottom Line: This is one fat fella, proceed with caution.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 2nd November 2020

Pleasure Wand Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo

The Bitter Kiss Of Cold Cast Steel

Finally, my prayers have been answered. An affordable steel dildo that can fulfil every one of my vaginal and anal desires. I own a lot of toys, I mean A LOT of toys, all in a variety of sizes, shapes, girths and textures. I’m a real glass girl at heart, but I have to say, I’m a bit of a maniac for metal too. There’s no arguing with steel, it screams disobedience to authority. When I saw this new metal masterpiece arrive to Lovehoney, I knew it would be going straight into my collection.

The packaging of this dildo is beautiful, the toy is gifted to you in a smooth black jewellery styled box with a spectacularly eye-catching red band center. Lifting the lid, you are presented with the flawless steel wand glistening in its mirrored finish of perfection, securely positioned in a black moulded foam insert. Honestly this boxing is erotic elegance at its purest - and the toy itself is just as enrapturing.

By my own measurements, this weighty wonder has an overall length of just under 8 inches, with an insertable length of approximately 5 inches either side. The larger ball on the one end actually has a maximum circumference of 3.75 inches, while the other side’s anal balls have graduated girth’s of 2.5, 2.75 and 3 inches from small to large. If you love anal beads like myself, you’ll be thrilled to know that each are spaced about half an inch apart giving plenty of room to anally clasp the narrow 0.9 inch shaft between beads.

Being a solid steel sex toy, it can be used with whatever lube you like, although my preference is always a quality water based lube - and my all time favourite is the creamy cum style lube Lovehoney sell, you should check this out, trust me. Also, due to being completely metal, this dildo is super easy to clean after use with either warm soapy water or wipes, and because it’s steel and non-porous, the entire toy is scentless nor has the ability to retain any scents at all. Ever.

Although I’m a real lube lover, I can tell you hand on heart, I do not need any whatsoever when using this dildo. When bringing the solid shaft between my thighs to be graced with that first bitter cold kiss of icy steel to the raging hot inferno of my clit, I am dripping - and that’s before it’s even inside me.

That first dilating pop of insertion of the larger bulging head, combined with the raw cold steel coming into unity with my searing hot internal body parts, is an indescribable pleasure. It still makes me gasp every time. It leaves me breathless when the frigid, shaped metal slides inside me and I gasp again as it guides itself home to massage my G-spot with acute accuracy, and all of this requires very little effort from my fingers gripping the external section of beads.

I’m one of the lucky girls who can cum from G-spot stimulation alone, but it takes a certain kind of toy and method to get me gushing. I require very fast and firm pressure just up and inside the first two inches of my vagina with either very girthy dildos or completely solid, rigid and unforgiving toys. After some gentle rocking up and down of this dildo (not in and out) followed by some short, shallow and very quick thrusts, I’m a shaking and shivering puddle in minutes.

Now sit down my friends and let me tell you about the other end of this dildo, those beaded balls of bliss, that exhilarating scorpion tail of elation. I’m a massive anal play lover and crave the sensations of solid anal toys inside me. I lust for steel butt plugs, but beads, beads send me insane. When I combine reciprocating thrusts of these little orbs of excellence with finger stimulation to my clit, they delivered me some of the most delicious orgasms I could dream of.

The first ball is a tiny tapered teardrop, a smooth and slender tulip of easy insertion. It effortlessly slides into yourself and then is instantly snatched within. The strong tension and release, the pleasing endeavour pushing the next ball in and pulling it back out, the breakthrough pressure of plunging each bead back in and out and in again is just an indescribable pleasure this dildo enforces upon you. You really feel each solid bulge ‘popping’ in and out all the way until your anal entrance clasps tight around the thicker central shaft. This, is anal at its best, this is anal perfection.

In summery, there can be no doubt about it, this steel wand is a wondrous work of art. It’s sensational for G-spot play and gives me guaranteed gushing. It’s breathtaking for anal and the triple beads are far from intimidating, even for anal beginners, while the single balled end can provide thoroughly filling delight for more of an anal challenge. It’s pretty, its satisfyingly weightyand it’s cool in all senses of the word. It may not be the perfect toy for everyone, but I am truly in love with this versatile dildo and it now has pride of place at the top of my toy box.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s versatility and design. It’s material and wonderful weight.

Cons: I have none. I am speechless.

Bottom Line: This double ended steel gifts effortless orgasms.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 9th November 2020

Bondage Boutique Expandable Spreader Bar with Leather Cuffs

Bound To Be Satisfied

I am far from new to the darker world of bondage and BDSM and I’m unquestionably the sub in our home. I’m always looking for new ways to satiate my desires of being held captive in complete submission. I already own two spreader bars - ones just not enough, but neither have the option for adjustable width. After discovering my kink for spreader bars, we decided I needed something a little more challenging.

Why do I love spreader bars so much?

For me, the psychological thrill of complete and utter submission, being bound in lust, shackled and forced to receive erotic pleasures - or just as often denied it - sends me silly. Having my legs compulsively spread and firmly held wide apart leaves me uncontrollably - and quite vulnerably - totally exposed, laid bare with all areas on show and completely at my lover’s mercy, which I can tell you is spine-tinglingly erotic, not to mention it shows and builds trust with a partner.

When ordering this I was very aware this item may be large and lengthy - always a worry when purchasing erotic apparatus like this, but I can assure you the item arrived in the usual inconspicuously plain packaged, exceptionally quick and problem-free manner.

Opening the box this truly left me weak at the knees, it is stunning. The bars heavy-duty construction is metal painted in satin black with steel pins to lock your desired width. The luxurious black leather and fur-lined cuffs are totally fixed to the bar - better than my slack jingling clipped versions - yet they still comfortably pivot on the main shaft. I’m not the biggest leather lover - I know, shocking for a bondage babe right? but I have to say it visually ticks every box and more. The appearance and build quality of this instrument are staggering. It’s a lot more weighty than my other bars feel. It’s substantial and strong and it screams sexual submission.

The cuffs and padlocks themselves feel relentlessly strong - I’ve really been pulling at them fiercely - and easy enough to operate. There’s also just something devilish about padlocks that gets me giddy and leaves me shaking with excitement and sexual fear. Thankfully spare keys are included, but these are not for me to know where they’re hidden.

As I mentioned before, unlike my other Spreader-Bars, the width of this is adjustable. This is the true reason I purchased this item. For me, BDSM isn’t about comfort, I like my mind and body being pushed to its limits and I can tell you that when you spread a 5’8 girls legs at 26”s apart and keep them forced open, the pleasure you’ll be receiving is satisfyingly laced with mild aching pain and discomfort. Honestly, it’s better than you’d believe.

Of course, being totally adjustable and with large banded cuffs, the versatility is endless, I can even use this bound to my knees to offer a completely alternative spread position and a whole different variation of revealing, forced exposure, access and possible torments.

The only real downside I’ve found to this item is it doesn’t have fixed points for central additional shackles. This isn’t a massive issue for me, I’ve got more cuffs and restraints than the Tower Of London Museum and so I can soon loop a pair of my handcuffs around the bar itself to fulfil that desire or I can simply clip some of my wrist shackles to the outer padlocks. Well, I can’t, but my husband can.

In summary, even if you’re a beginner to bondage, I cannot recommend this enough. For some, the idea of this may seem a little daunting, but if the thought of being restrained, bound and fully exposed in thrilling vulnerability like this has awakened the kink queen inside you, and you want to step things up from your basic handcuffs or bed restraints, then this spreader bar is undoubtedly the risqué route for you.

I assure you, the possibilities of this item are only limited by your imagination and pleasure thresholds…

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: A perfect step up in spreader bars into mid-level BDSM.

Cons: I would have loved fixed central wrist shackle points.

Bottom Line: It’s satisfyingly heavy, it’s sturdy and it’ll keep me captured for life.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 23rd September 2020

Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Stroker Rabbit Vibrator

A Stroke Of Genius

I own the original Fifty Shades Greedy Girl G-Spot rabbit and without a doubt it’s been a sensational toy for blended bliss. I’m a real Girth Girl and Power Queen alike and so I’ve always loved that long eared friend. Yet I often crave heavy G-Spot pressure and movements too, so I was pretty sure this would soon have me hopping. I did still slightly worry this would feel too familiar to my older Greedy Girl. How naive I was.

I don’t normally care about packaging, but the black and silver Fifty Shades Of Grey boxing is truly stunning and I can’t imagine myself ever disposing of it. Nestle next to the bunny is a silver satin drawstring storage pouch, USB charging lead, instruction and care leaflet - but a serious lack of warnings about the ferocity of this toy.

After coaxing this bunny out of his box, it’s appearance seems similar to its predecessor. That’s not a bad thing, it’s breathtaking to look at and hold. It’s satisfyingly weighty and the entire design and appearance screams luxury laced with sexual disobedience. It’s seamless and smooth and soft with an almost velvet-like texture, it truly leaves you breathless with anticipation as you imagine how it will feel inside of you.

Like the original Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit, it’s waterproof and rechargeable and it’s also body-safe silicone coated making it super simple to clean with wipes or warm soapy water. I put it straight on charge but my greed and inpatience got the better of me, so after just 30 minutes I could wait no more. I’m a greedy girl by nature and want all of everything now.

First Use.

I eagerly smothered this bunny in water-based lube, and just like my older version, the swollen, curled head required a satisfying amount of force needed to insert until my body gave way to that slimmer yet filling shaft. Due to that enormous bulbous head, I found myself unable to do any real thrusting or moving of this toy, but the amazing thing is I didn’t need to.

This bunnies a big boy it has to be said. The insertable length may only be 5.5”s, but it’s the eye watering circumference that gets me giddy. Honestly, when this is inside you it is extremely filling. It seems like once I have the head pressed against my G-spot and those ears smothering my exposed clit and inner labia, my vagina involuntarily, but very pleasurably, clamps down on these bunnies so fiercely it doesn’t let go. I’m a lazy masturbator at times, the less I have to be involved, the better, and a hands free orgasm or two is always a thrilling option for me.

I turned on the almost silent flittering clit ears and shaft vibrator, which felt incredible caressing each side of my clit and also rumbling deeply inside me, but it felt a little too familiar to my older rabbit and so I won’t lie, I felt a little cheated and underwhelmed. But as with any new toy, its all in the testing, trial and perseverance. I turned on the G-Spot stroking motion to see if I could improve my current anticlimax situation. Interesting, very interesting.

Unbeknownst to me I hadn’t positioned it quite correctly against my G-Spot, so, me being me, I decide to go from zero to 60 in 3.5. I hit the vibrations and G-Spot stroker up a level, made a minor adjustment on internal placement and I believe one of the rabbit ears slipped up under the hood of my clit. At least I think that’s what happened, because I’m pretty sure I blacked out.

Lying there shanking and shivering with it still clenched inside of me, my vagina still contracting and twitching like a rabbits nose, I frantically tried to turn it off, but ended up hitting the buttons like a imbecile, sending it to even stronger vibrations and now faster motions forced into my G-Spot. And came, again.

I’m pretty sure I levitated. It was an unending unforgiving orgasm. This time, my soul left me, and God himself said ‘child, it is not your time, go back to the little white light.’ I’m brought back into my ruin of a body after managing to pull this rabbit from its hole and throwing it across my bed, it falls to the floor, still buzzing and hopping happily away.

I stared at my ceiling dazed trying to remember who I am and what year is this. How long did I take to cum and how long was I out? Seconds? Minutes? Months…? I get up to clean the mess of myself, my bed sheets and the wreck of the person I’ve become and realize in my seizure like orgasms, I’d hurt my hip and back. I’m still hobbling four hours later. I did not stretch enough.

So in conclusion, this met and exceeded all expectations. It may have a luxury price tag but what it gives you is gold. The cost of this bunny will be paid back every time you’ll use it.

Final advice. Hydrate, make sure you don’t have to do anything that involves decisions or brainpower for the rest of the day. And for the love of God, stretch like you’re about to run a 400 meter dash. Preparation is key.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It forced upon me a purple epiphany.

Cons: My poor old bunny will need a new home.

Bottom Line: Fierce. This rabbit is fierce.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 1st February 2021

Womanizer X Lovehoney InsideOut Rechargeable G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator

Flutterly In Love

I will not lie to you, I own a lot of toys for my clit. This is now the fourth Womanizer in my collection - yes, I really do love these little suckers that much. But this is the first one that combines both that intense clitoral manipulation and internal filling pleasure I crave to get me gushing.

I won’t bore you with the delivery, let’s just say it came nearly as fast as I did when I first used this - albeit far more discreetly.

Just as I would expect from a Womanizer and Lovehoney collaboration, this special edition Inside Out is gifted to you in such luxury you’d easily mistake it’s purpose. Included within is an optional larger clitoral head - trust me, just fit this clit engulfer straight away - a charging lead and instructions, but unfortunately no storage pouch - you can’t have everything right.

It is made entirely from rich, purple, high quality silicone with a shining silver accent inlay at the base. This is completely my ascetic and I am totally smitten with how it looks. The seamless silicone feels amazingly soft to the touch, and has very little friction. It’s the kind of silicone you can’t help but rub on your face because of how soft it truly feels.

For its size the Womanizer InsideOut is fairly light to hold. The lower part of the toy is egg shaped and tipped with a smooth silicone suction nozzle for placing over your already excitedly engorged clit. Coming out of the back of the Womanizer InsideOut is a curved silicone arm for internal placement. This arm is fairly slim and flexible at the base. The tip of the arm is where the second motor is for the vibrations and is more rigid than the rest of the arm.

Before you can use the Womanizer InsideOut you need to charge it. The USB charger attaches to the base of the toy using two magnetic ports. Unlike some other magnetic chargers I have, this magnet is strong and I had no trouble with it keeping contact. You can then plug the other end in to any USB port and await the solid green light that indicates a full charge. Mine must have been already charged as only 5 minutes after connecting the USB cable it was ready to go.

As with all toys from Womanizer, it is incredibly quiet. It’s not silent by any means, but the vibrations in the G-spot arm are genuinely whisper quiet, and the clitoral stimulator is the quietest I’ve heard yet. If you need to be discreet, but really want to try a clitroal suction / pressure wave toy, this might well be the product for you. Just make sure you’ve a towel over your mouth to dampen your screams.

With a small amount of lube around the hood of your clit and vulva - although I can assure you, after just holding this, lube is not needed - the Inside Out effortlessly slips into place and you can comfortably contract around it’s slender shaft leaving hands free to caress and manipulate other erogenous areas. I’m a seriously lazy masturbator at the best of times, the less I have to be involved the better, and a hands free orgasm or three is always a goal I set - a goal everyone should always set. Just tie me to the bed and watch me squirm.

The vibrations from the internal G-spot arm are deliciously deeply rumbly but I’ll be honest, the clit suction part of this toy has me cumming that hard and fiercely fast I don’t even have time to think about the vibrations in and around my G-Spot. I don’t have time to think about anything. But what I do love is just to have that insertable squishy arm there for me to clamp down on again and again and again.

Like so many others I’m sure, I’m one of those gals with an extremely sensitive clit. The smallest of stimulation and I’m either cumming or crying within minutes. Just like all the other Womanizers I own, this indirect, fluttering air pressure stimulation doesn’t leave me with an untouchably sensitive clit after my first orgasm - or even before - and allows me to ride the waves of cumming after cumming, again and again, over and over until my heart says no more.

In summary, this revolutionary Womanizer exceeded all of my expectations. Not only does it’s waterproof design make it a bath time must, more importantly it means it’s soaking squirt safe too. Despite struggling with the controls to begin with, the intense orgasms delivered by the Inside Out has made it one of my new favorite toys and by far the best Womanizer I own. Perhaps it’s shape won’t suit every internal body, but it fits me very, VERY, well indeed. I am smitten.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s double trouble at its best!

Cons: Buttons take a little learning.

Bottom Line: I’m at smitten with this Henry the Hoover, this fluttering clit kisser.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 23rd April 2021

Tenga AERO Suction Control Male Masturbator

Suck Me Harder Baby

I firstly want to state that this is a review from a female’s point of view, how I perceived it, how it made me feel and how I found actually using it with my husband - as well as how much he enjoyed it.

My own sex toy collection is vast, it would rival the Lovehoney warehouse I’m sure. Yet beneath the mountains of dildos, dicks and dog collars, there’s only a handful of toys for my man - hey, he has me as his favourite toy. But every once in a while it’s nice to treat his meat to something new. A little role reversal is always fun. Our love of Fleshlights and Tenga Toys is no secret nor shame, so when this new arrival of a masturbation masterpiece arrived to the Lovehoney website, this went straight in my basket.

Secretive, sly and inconspicuous is not something I ever really look for in sex toys but it has to be said, the entire design and appearance of the Tenga Aero - and it’s packaging for that matter - looks so innocent it could easily be mistaken for a white water flask by the side of your bed. It looks expensive and luxurious, clean laced with class and an almost futuristic aura surrounding it.

If you’re a lady that gets a little turned off by the thought of using a lifelike faux vagina on your man then this toy really is a better option for you. Personally, I really get off on using a realistic looking pussy on my husband, but this toy with a tame gender neutral appearance and design will suit and please nearly all heterosexual and homosexual couples and singles alike.

By my own measurements the overall toy is just under 7”s in length with a circumference of 9.5”s, it’s actually a little bigger than I expected yet I can still firmly hold it in just one of my petit hands. With a maximum insertable depth of only 6”s, bare in mind the bigger boys may hit the bottom, but panic not, it’s all in the head work with this toy. The entire item has no noticeable smell and it feels well designed and manufactured. It’s extremely lightweight too so even users with dexterity issues shouldn’t have many problems.

The included ‘Tenga Real Lube Lotion’ sample sachet needs to be mentioned here. Oh - My - GOD. This is genuinely unlike ANY lubricant I’ve ever tried or seen before. Honestly, don’t dump the whole packet inside the opening. One pea sized drip of this sparing stuff would spread across snooker table I tell you and it would last for hours. It closely resembles thick, stringy, glue like cum - I love it! I’ve just noticed Lovehoney sell this lube by the bottle… Take my money now.

After naively draining the entire lubricant sachet in and around the opening and teasing two of my fingers into the first few inches, it feels incredibly just like the real thing - trust me, this I know very well. The tight wet opening followed by varying textures, folds and flaps, ridges and nodules honestly feel as though I were playing with myself. It’s tight but forgivingly stretchy, firm yet so undeniably squishy - honestly if my eyes were shut and it was warmed up before hand, I wouldn’t be able to tell a difference.

Where this toy varies from our Fleshlights and other masturbator sleeves is it’s unique and precise dial system of adjustable air suction pressure settings. The twisting click options allow you to adjust the level of suction stimulation you desire by turning the external housing. With 10 different settings to choose from, rotating clockwise will increase the suction, while turning it in the opposite direction will lower it back.

With the vents fully closed, the seal around his shaft and the suction of this device is completely off the scale. I could hand on heart not pull this off his dick. From a watchers view, too see the vacuum suction suck and pull and move the skin of his shaft is purely breathtaking - I’m sure it felt sensational for him too.

I kid you not, the first time we used this, in less than 2 minutes at the mercy of my professional right hand and the Tenga Aero, he was clutching the bed sheets and cumming. So much for the hours of edging and orgasm denial I had planned.

We’ve tried this toy now on all 10 of its suction settings and one drawback I’ve found is that with the air vents dialled opened on any option other than completely closed, things can get a little noisy - and I’m not talking about moaning and groaning either. The air from the toy when being thrusted can get a little hissy so just bare this in mind if silent secrecy is something that’s important to you. No issue for us, we’re not a quite couple, but this toy can sound a little like inflating an airbed.

After use, the inner sleeve can be completely removed, reversed and turned inside-out for a thorough cleaning with warm soapy water and then can be stored on the cleverly designed lid and stem system for hygienic air drying - and applying a sex toy cleaning spray of course.

To summarise, this is by far the most advanced and luxurious masturbator toy we’ve ever owned. The suction is unrivalled, in fact it’s astonishing. It’s sensational for couples play and I know my husband will be using this alone when I’m not around too. I’ll be honest, I doubt we’ll ever buy a Fleshlight again. It’s a 10 out of Tenga from me!

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: The suction level is insane. So easy to use, clean and store.

Cons: Honestly I have none.

Bottom Line: The perfect couples toy. It’s innocently clean and classy unlike me.

[Blonde_Bunny]

by @Blonde_Bunny, 2nd November 2020

Creamy Cum-Style Unscented Water-Based Lubricant

A Cum Cravers Dream

Jizz, spunk, cum, load - call it what you like. Some of us girls and guys have a thing for the stuff, and arguably nobody more than myself. Honestly, that hot and thick creamy substance is on my mind - and body - way more than is healthy I’m sure. From creampies to facials, I fantasise it all. I’ve never been the kind of lass to spit or swallow, I’m the naughty little girl who wants to play with it and let it slowly drip out and down my body. My curious cum kink is a massive part of my sex life now, but there’s only so much one man can deliver me, and my poor husband just cannot satiate my appetite in this regard - not for want of trying. When I heard that Lovehoney could provide me with this alternative by the bucket load, I knew this product was going straight in, and around, my basket.

When it comes to lubricants in general I’m a bit of a critic, a sceptic and scared of new things. I’ve quite sensitive skin and have in the past experienced rashes, irritations and general nether-misfortunes thanks to lubes with unfavourable ingredients. But after reading so many satisfied reviews on this product, and ever the eager beaver I am, there was no way on earth I wasn’t going to give this a go.

Upon opening my weekly delivery from Lovehoney, I nearly melted when I first saw this bottle. The artwork may be simple, but it is absolutely stunning. I mean, just look at it, there’s no mistaking what this bottle contains. If that alone doesn’t get you excited then you’re surely purchasing the wrong products. It’s far from the subtle, clean and classy lube bottles I’m used to buying, but that’s why I love this so much. It screams playful, mischievous filth in every aspect - a little like myself.

The lube is made to look and feel just like real cum, and honestly it really does look and feel like real cum. It’s thick and stringy and has a cloudy white colour yet it doesn’t have any smell at all, it actually reminds me a little of the PVA glue I used in primary school except it’s not sticky at all - that’s a good thing, no-one wants lube like glue. It glides over your skin and between your fingers and washes off easily with soap and water. I’d go as far as to say, this may well be the slipperiest lube I have ever used. Ever.

If you’ve never played with cum lube before, you may be surprised how much you enjoy using it as a visual turn on, let alone as an actual lubricant. My husband can drizzle it over my boobs and body during foreplay and I can slather it over my dildos when I’m alone. I can roll around in it if I wanted to - and I will I’m sure. Endless cum all for my endless enjoyment, no penis required. If you’re a cam girl, performer or take erotic photos, this will undoubtedly also be right up your street.

I’ve also now used with an internal lube applicator and for me this is the best way I’ve found of getting the most out of this product. I’ll be honest, I have no issues with creaming a dildo all by myself, but to fill yourself with this stuff before hand then to see the state of your dildos and you fingers and it running down your thighs is enrapturing. Gosh, it’s making me feel all gooey inside just thinking about it.

I’ve yet to try this product with an ejaculating dildo but without a doubt that’s the next item on my shopping list. I’m sure the possibilities for fetishes and fun with this lube is only be limited to your imagination.

The only tiniest negative about this lube - and it really is a tiny negative - is the bottle function itself. I love lube bottles with a pump style top for easy and quick dispensing.This lube is just that slippery, it’s a little challenging trying to hold the bottle while squeezing out it’s contents.

In summery, if you’re anything like me with an insatiable kinky cum fetish, and you’re looking for a realistic replacement or addition to the real thing that also does an outstanding job as a water-based lubricant, then there is just no other option. The amount you get for the price is extremely generous and despite the added effort required cleaning up yourself, your bedding and your toys after your play times, I don’t think I’ll ever stop buying this again and again. Just remember, it’s only as messy, filthy and dirty as the person you want to become.

One happy girl!

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s thick, creamy and as good, if not better, than the real thing.

Cons: I’d love this to cum in a pump style bottle.

Bottom Line: Endless fun and filth for this little cum-lover!

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 1st May 2021

Lovehoney Realistic Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 8 Inch

Anal Delight

I’ll be straight up and honest with you, I own a lot of dicks. I mean A LOT of dicks. For a young married girl I really should be ashamed of myself. I already have several of Lovehoney’s Lifelike Lover range of PVC dildos, but I don’t have many long and super squishy Silicone snakes for anal play. The length, the material, thickness and appearance of this one really appealed to me and I already knew this would be a great choice for what I had planned.

As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple, sexy and far from smutty. Inside the box, the dildo is sealed inside a plastic bag. The entire toy is made from a soft liquid silicone so it does have a mild plastic scent at first, but if you’re anything like me and obsessed with putting dildos in your mouth, I can assure you it has no taste.

By my own precise measurements, this sizeable schlong has a 5” circumference around the head yet a mouth watering 6.25”s at the base of the shaft - although to get that far you’ll need to devour just over 8.5”s of thick and filling useable length. There’s no balls at the bottom of this dildo but hey, not all dicks need balls bells and whistles, and that makes it great for what I wanted it for with nothing to get in the way when bouncing upon it.

Not only is it stunning on the eye, it also possesses all the features I crave for in a dildo for both pussy and anal play. A firm but soft structure still having plenty of bend and flexibility - this I need for anal - also a heavily swollen and engorged style head followed by the ridgy bunched ripples of a retracted foreskin, frenulum and a spider web of prominent protruding veins down the length of an increasing girth shaft. That and seriously strong suction cup base that I can glue to any and every surface, I knew I’d be a busy little bee with this one.

Maybe I’m an odd girl but I’m happy to admit I try putting every one of my dildos into my mouth and down my throat - there’s so much more to dongs than pussy and anal play. The size, shape and huge amount of flexibility make this toy so life-like it really is a thrilling gagging challenge to swallow it whole. This dildo will be perfect if you’re trying to learn to Deep Throat or if you’re adventurously filthy like myself and enjoy your own solo dildo spit-roast.

So did it make me cum?

I’m one of the lucky ones and I can orgasm fiercely from vaginal penetration alone. It does however take precise and rough G-Spot stimulation to get me gushing. Unfortunately this dildo just didn’t quite do it for me that way - although I was still loving the ride. The size and design do make for a real-feel experience but it just lacked that extra thickness and firmness in the head I need to climax this way quickly. But I must say, those ribbed raised veins rubbing against my clit and vulva while the blunt head pushed and teased my cervix did feel phenomenal - but not as euphoric as when I added in my favourite wand vibrator to finish off in perfect paralysis.

My next try was for anal and for me this is where the dildo really hit the mark - and this is what I wanted it for. I’m an obsessive of double penetration, I’m a greedy girl and I want all of everything at once, and this dildo delivered everything I needed and more. Being so soft and flexible, I can make this delightful dick vanish to it’s base. Just like a sexy blonde magician’s assistant, I can make it disappear on the count of one, two, three. The increasing girth of the shaft, the soft and squishy outer coating, the safely oversized suction cup base and the unrelenting length of this toy make it the best dildo I now own for anal play by miles.

A down side to silicone dildos is they can feel a little draggy at times, especially when used analy, so plenty of water based lube is always a must and for me I had no problems with this one. But a bonus of silicone is it’s so easy to clean and keep fresh. With a quick wash in warm soapy water and a spritz of Lovehoney cleaning spray, this non-porous silicone snake is hygienic simplicity at its best.

In summery, for me it’s just a fraction too slim in the head for pussy play alone - unless you enjoy normal girth dildos - but when combined with a vibrator forced against my clit it is perfection. I can see this being brilliant for beginners, perfect for pegging and I can tell you it’s sensational for deep anal and Double Penetration play - that and it’s breathtakingly stunning to look at and hold.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s so pretty, so soft, so flexible and anal heaven!

Cons: The heads a little on the slim side for pussy play for me.

Bottom Line: By far the best dildo for anal… ever!

[PleasureDrone]

Helping @Blonde_Bunny post more fabby reviews.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Ian_Chimp, 18 Jun 2021
Lovehoney Sensual Glass Curved Textured Dildo

Took Some Persuasion

(This one is another Mrs Chimp one. It also had ‘Purple Persuader’ on the box, hence the title)

I was pleasantly surprised with this dildo. It’s a lot thinner than my favourite glass piece (the LH Beaded glass dildo), but the main head and the ridges below it really add to the experience. It’s really easy to hold and has a lovely curve to it so as you pull it out it tickles your vulva. You can really feel the ridges inside too.

It’s double ended, though the ‘handle’ end initially seemed a bit pointy for my liking. I was actually a bit reluctant to use it at first, but Customer Care assured me it wasn’t a fault so I gave it a bash… and it honestly didn’t feel sharp or poky when I used it. This end has an extra bit of girth to it too, which was really rather pleasant. Unfortunately it’s rather straight though, and doesn’t have the same lovely curve as the other end, so didn’t offer enough stimulation for me. If we could mix both ends together we’d have the potential for a super dildo.

It’s a neat little toy, not too heavy, and I’m quite keen on the purple colouring too. Would have loved for the ridged end to be a bit girthier and the girthier end to be a bit more curved, but nonetheless I still enjoyed using it.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: Texture and curve of the head and ridges.

Cons: Bit slim.

Bottom Line: Would have loved more girth on the ridged end, but still a good texture.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 26th June 2021

Bondage Boutique Rose Gold Adjustable Clit Clamp

Clit Captivity

I’m not shy to admit my life somewhat revolves around me mischievously pressing my devil’s doorbell, I’m forever taking that one step further in treating and teasing my little naughty nub. I already own a couple of clit clamps but not one of this style and design, so when I saw this new rose gold godsend appear on the Lovehoney website, I just had to try this upon my little clitty-cat.

This may well be the smallest single item I’ve ever received from Lovehoney and for once - and quite shockingly - no brown box. It did however arrive inside a small plain grey bag and in the nondescript and discreet manner I know and love.

Packaging of the toy is about as simple as it can get. A clear little cellophane bag with a small Bondage Boutique logo is the only presentation needed for this little marvel.

It’s actually a little larger than I expected it to be but it’s definitely still a sex toy miniature. That being said, it does have a satisfying weight that gives the impression of a decent material and build quality. The black rubber tips feel soft and secure and the entire rose-gold metallic finish is flawless - the Lovehoney Heart pendant charm at the base is a cuteness overload too.

Using a device like this is admittedly a little fiddly at first, but after a couple of goes it’s actually very simple to master - practice makes even the most prurient princess perfect. Contrary to a lot of other reviews and guides on clit clamps, I don’t use any lube whatsoever, in fact I find any kind of lubricant to where I’m trying to latch to is not your friend here - trust me, the last thing you’ll want is this little nipper slipping off your ‘boy in the boat’ before you’re finished.

How I use it:

Firstly, I’ll make sure I’m super aroused before even starting - honesty you’ll want to begin with an already slightly swollen, firm and protruding clit. While spreading my labia with two fingers and sliding my hand back towards my tummy - I find this way also really exposes my clit as it retracts the hood considerably far back at the same time - I hold the clamp with my other hand and simply slide the soft rubber tips down onto and over my now very pronounced clit to smother each side. Now take away that first hand that was spreading your lips and gently slide the compression ring down to adjust the amount of squeezing pressure you desire - or your dominant other demands.

So does it work?

Oh my bean-flicking mother of lady-pearls yes! (eyes rolled in back of head).

I find this device not only clamps and restricts the blood flow back out of you already swollen clit, it actually fully holds back your retracted clit hood so much further than you would think possible, leaving it completely - and quite vulnerably - exposed and laid bare to all manner of tortures, torments and teasing touches. It really does leave your bare button sticking right out there begging to be pressed like a personal clitoral exhibition.

If you’re an experienced Bondage Babe like myself, you’ll know that to even attempt to touch your fully exposed, engorged and clamped throbbing clit - let alone bring a vibrator against it - is eye-rolling pleasure tainted with sensationally erotic and euphoric discomfort. To even just graze my captivated clit with the tip of my finger will either cause me to cum or cry or usually both. This, this is pleasure at its purest. This is a paralysing pink-pearl paradise.

Even after the clamp is removed, the pleasures this device gifts you doesn’t end, if anything it’s where it begins. With the sudden and relentless release of hot blood flowing back into your exhausted and exploited clit, you’re hit again with higher levels of untouchable throbbing sensitivity that leave you only begging to cum and cum and cum again. I swear to you now I have climaxed from just removing this clamp and not even touching my pussy after. These sensations are indescribable until you try one of these devices for yourself.

Cleaning this toy after use couldn’t be easier. With a quick wash in warm soapy water and a spritz of Lovehoney cleaning spray, this surgical steel is hygienic simplicity at it’s finest.

In summery, this luxury little clamp is everything I could want in a toy for clit specific sensitivity play, torture and next level teasing. It’s sexy, it’s simple and it’s oh so pretty. And I can tell you it also makes a sensational piece of golden erotic jewellery to have dangling from your pussy and glistening between your thighs - especially when walking into a bedroom wearing the most salacious of crotchless lingerie.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s so innocently cute but this little bee’s bite is heavenly devilish.

Cons: It’s quite small so could easily be lost in the abyss of a sex toy storage box.

Bottom Line: It really is both the perfect present and punishment for the bud of my favourable flower.

[Blonde_Bunny]

by @Blonde_Bunny, 28th June 2021

Liberator Sex Position Wedge

The Ballad Of Bliss

I was searching for something to take me over the edge, and that’s when I found it, the Liberator Wedge.

I’ve no shortage of toys for pleasuring me, I thought a change of position is what it could be.

So straight in my basket not a second to waste, completed the checkout, my order now placed.

Next day delivery? I don’t mind I’ll just pay, both the item and me to cum the next day.

The package arrived so subtle and sly, straight up to the bedroom to give it a try.

Such a pretty design this triangular foam,
It’s sultry it’s stylish to have in your home.

A stunning design, both appearance and feel, the aesthetics and texture just scream sex appeal.

So soft to the touch, so smooth on your skin, it’s firm yet still squishy the foam that’s within.

Nearly two feet of width and at fourteen inch deep, the angle looks gentle not overly steep.

With a choice of two colours there’s something for all, purple or pink it’s a really tough call.

A true sexual therapist must have been the designer, no risks and no worries with it’s moisture proof liner.

And a removable cover so easy to clean, just unzip and throw in the washing machine.

And you’ll soak it I swear, as I write this I blush, girls this new position you can’t help but gush.

I give you this warning and please don’t forget, with new depths of pleasure you’re gonna get wet.

A slight increase in angle to lift up your bum, who knew that would be the best way to cum.

This life-changing lift hits your G-spot quite hard, just cover your bed and be on your guard.

It opens your legs as it lifts up your hips, exposing your clit while spreading your lips.

You’re going to scream as he hits your front wall, there’s no way to stop it, gushing for all.

This wild new position let’s your partner go deeper, it feels bigger and longer, my god he’s a keeper.

And when used with anal my days he’ll go deep, you’ll scream while you’re cumming, a shaking wet heap.

And it’s perfect for oral being giving to me, that change in position just 30 degree.

No more crooked neck for my husband to crane, but the comfort it gifts him will be my true gain.

I can lay on my front with my bum in the air, no more aching legs while he’s pulling my hair.

And I’ll use it alone for comfortable play, with my pelvis just raised I’ll orgasm all day.

Trust the words of this member this Bunny of Blonde, a whole new experience when using your Wand.

New ways to play with my dildos and dicks, a new world of pleasure this revolutionary fix.

Pure comfort for me in those hours of edging, no more aching back with this luxury wedging.

It’s the best thing since me that’s now in our bed, so buy it and try it no more can be said.

It’ll ramp up your sex-life that’s all I can say, just add it to basket and checkout and pay.

I swear it to all, I make this true pledge. My life’s now complete with the Liberator Wedge.

XXX

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: With this under your bum there’s no way you won’t cum.

Cons: No negatives from me, just buy it you’ll see.

Bottom Line: Totally ecstatic with this soft wedge of cheese, I’m now shaking and shivering with trembling knees.

[Peitho]

by @Peitho , 5th July 2021
Lovehoney Guide to Oral Sex

Pocket Guide to All Things Oral

A lot of the contents of this book are pretty well known to people with experience but this little pocket guide is certainly a comprehensive starter guide to all things cunnilingus, fallatio and rimming.

The biology is well covered for both those in possession of a clitorus and those with a penis - which bits need a warm up before jumping straight in, which bits mustn’t be ignored, which bits are the most sensitive and various techniques that work with all those bits.

From the female point of view I can say the techniques for pleasuring a clitorus work very well indeed… of course everyone is different but as long as she’s in the mood and you’re keen to go pearl diving there are ways to get your lady off detailed here.

For working on a penis there are lots of methods briefly outlined, I recommend not trying to remember them all in one go and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to eat a Mr Whippy Ice Cream without thinking of those “long, lingering ice cream licks” on my OHs shaft for a while! There is also a breathing technique to avoid gagging while deep throating that I’m yet to try but it’s on the list. Whatever your preference, if you’ve a purple-headed, semen lollipop in need of attention you’re covered here.

Anilingus is not something we are into (though I do have a Rimming Butt Plug which I love) but it’s well covered in the third section along with a comprehensive introduction to all other things anal, starting with foreplay and toys and all things needed for successful play prior to anal sex.

Different positions for oral sex as well as techniques are covered and my final tip… pick a flavoured lube you really like, my personal favourite is JO Gelato White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Personal Lubricant because you might be consuming a lot of it.

Final bonus of this book… its the perfect coffee table topper to leave on display to test the boundaries of visitors and house guests!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Compact guide that covers all the essentials.

Cons: Could be longer and more detailed… though to be fair how many different ways are there to orally pleasure a little man in a boat or suck a schlong?

Bottom Line: Fun read with good techniques… if you’re new to oral or just want to brush up I recommend it.

[Ace12345]

by @Ace12345, 10/06/21
Lovehoney Mini Thrill Rechargeable Silicone Bullet Vibrator

Lovehoney Mini Thrill Rechargeable Silicone Bullet Vibrator

More Bumble than Honey

Ok admin 1st, I received this item as a tester in exchange for a review. The delivery packaging was discrete as always (if a bit wet from the torrential rain) and the bullet’s packaging within was relatively plain but still nice to look at and made all the key information fairly clear.

The bullet is sleek with a matte black finish and the texture is incredibly smooth (I have a few silicone toys and none have lived up the descriptor ‘silky silicone’ as perfectly as this one). It is very big for bullet, about the same size as the mini desire classic though it is more lightweight. I quite like the size since it does make it easier to handle and direct (though it is worth noting that not quite the entire thing vibrates, there’s about an inch down from the button which does not vibrate). The shaping it effective and the tapered tip works well for very direct stimulation, as well as making cleaning quite simple.

The travel lock is handy to have, but you do have to be careful as to whether you’re locking or unlocking as there’s no signal to tell these apart (it vibrates identically when unlocking or locking). It’s definitely splashproof and honestly would probably survive submersion (though I did not want to test this since it’s officially only splashproof, so I’d still recommend not dropping it in the bath). It is kinda weird to have the power button to the side rather than directly at the base but it is still reasonably easy to locate and press even during play, as the indentation can be felt even if the toy becomes slick.

Now, onto the vibration aspect. This was more a mixed bag than the appearance unfortunately. I do really like some of the patterns, there are several with long/extended bursts of stimulation rather than the usual very short ones and there are also some that include different intensities, something I don’t think I’ve particularly encountered before and quite like. There’s also a pattern which increases and decreases in intensity without any noticeable periods of no stimulation which is always a winner for me. There are also some quite long sequences, which would potentially make it harder for you to anticipate/brace for during some play like edging, which would be a good bonus for many during build up and extended play.

The lowest setting is surprisingly strong, though unfortunately the higher settings do not gain much strength due to this. They do get loud. VERY loud. Even the lowest setting of this toy is quite loud so may make discrete play more difficult, especially at the highest strength. The biggest negative though is that it’s rather buzzy (hence the review title). The lowest setting is a little buzzy but still tolerable for me personally but at each strength level it gets buzzier which is a big downside for me since I definitely prefer more rumbly toys.

Due it’s strength I can finish with it but due to the buzziness it regrettably isn’t a new favourite.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Pros: Beautiful design, silky feeling, interesting range of patterns and surprisingly powerful

Cons: Loud and a bit buzzy

Bottom Line: Like a bumble bee, a bit loud, big and buzzy but also pretty and powerful, good for build up

[PleasureDrone]

I’m posting this here because the original review lost all its formatting in the move to the new website, making it all but unreadable.

Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug

by @PleasureDrone, 23 Oct 2020
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug

Beautiful design and powerful vibes,
but this is not a “butt plug”

Overall Rating: 3/5 ☆ ☆ ☆

PACKAGING
This item comes in a smart black and purple box that shouts luxury - I half expected it to contain an assortment of dark chocolates! It’s the sort of box no-one would be ashamed to give - or receive - as a present for that special occasion.

Inside is a soft black leatherette zipper-pouch with a subtle LH logo on the side - so subtle that you have to angle the light just right to see it at all. You could walk into a hotel lobby clutching this and no-one would suspect a thing.

The pouch is in two sections. In one side is the toy and its remote control unit (in a sealed plastic bag); in the other side is the charging lead and a little instruction booklet - and I mean little: the print inside the booklet is so tiny that even using my strongest reading specs it was a struggle to make out. One section of it is called “The small print”. Come off it, guys - it’s ALL small!

THE TOY
The toy and its remote are made of the loveliest, most velvety-smooth silicone I’ve ever encountered! Again, the effect is of luxury: handling it is a pleasure in itself. I found myself having to resist the temptation to keep stroking it like a pet!

It is a pleasingly-shaped thing, all gentle curves and asymmetry, and it is because of its shape that I must take issue with the name it’s been given. The wording on the box says “butt plug”, but it really ISN’T one, because it doesn’t “plug” you. It has no defined “step” where the head of a typical butt plug suddenly narrows to a stem, enabling the user’s sphincter muscles to hold it in place without effort. This toy’s shape is much closer to that of an Aneros-style prostate massager. So, even before use, I was sceptical as to whether it was going to stay put inside me. I’ve tried a few prostate toys in the past, and they’ve all had a tendency to fall out. I was REALLY hoping that this elegant beauty wouldn’t do likewise.

On the underside of the T-shaped base there is a round, shallow depression about the size of a 1p piece, where live the on/off switch, a hidden LED and the socket for the charging cable. I was surprised to find that this socket has no protective sealing-cap of any kind. I would have thought such a thing essential in a toy that is meant to be used in combination with plenty of water-based lube. I would be worried about lube (and washing water) getting into the socket and shorting the terminals.

CHARGING AND SWITCHING ON
Having read the instructions with the aid of a magnifying glass (I’m not kidding!), I plugged it into a suitable USB socket and left it to charge. While charging, a small white LED in the base flashes. When charging is complete, the LED glows continuously. Before it will work, you have to take the battery transit strip out of the remote and the toy has to be put into “standby mode” by a long press on the power button on its base. Entering standby is confirmed by a brief flash of the LED.

I pressed the mode button on the remote …and the toy, which had been lying on its side on the table in front of me, leapt into such vigorous life that it shot away across the table under its own steam! I grabbed it and held it in my hand as I stepped the remote through its patterns. It vibrated with such force that it made my fingers go numb. Switching it off, I considered just what effect those vibrations were going to have, once it was working away inside me. Yikes!

USING THE TOY
Prepped and nicely lubed-up, insertion was just as easy as you’d expect from a toy of this shape. Then came the first problem: it wouldn’t switch on. Repeatedly I went through the “standby / switch on” routine, but no joy, so I pulled it halfway out, tried the routine again and it kicked into life.The vibrations, while plenty strong, were not - I’m glad to say - the eye-popping fright-fest I’d been half-expecting. I stepped through the various patterns and strengths and found everything obeyed, exactly as designed. And did it stay in place? Well… sort of. It never slipped out entirely, but neither would it stay fully inserted. With no defined “step” to stop it, the toy kept sliding back out of me by about 2 inches. The only way I could keep it fully in was by using a hand or by squeezing my buttock muscles - good Kegel exercise, I guess, but not what this toy is for!

…and what of pleasure? Did this buzzy beast bring me to a shuddering, prostate-enhanced orgasm? No. For two reasons:

1. After a while, having such powerful vibes going on inside me had a numbing effect: it actually made me LESS turned on.
2. So preoccupied was I with trying to keep the toy in place, I lost my erection.

To be completely frank, the toy was more of a distraction than a help. This is not a failing of the toy itself, though. I’m sure many people will find it supplies exactly the stimulation they’re craving. For me, though, it was all a bit of a dead loss.

[PleasureDrone]

This one was formatted correctly, but here it is just in case things disappear again!

Remote Control Rechargeable Vibrating Boxers Set
by @PleasureDrone, 13 March 2021
Remote Control Rechargeable Vibrating Boxers Set

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At last - something for penis-owners!

Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

I was sent this as a pre-market test item, so am unaware of its intended price point.

I’ve always rather envied people with a clitoris because of the many panty-vibe products they can enjoy, so when a similar item aimed at penis-owners was offered for testing, I jumped at the chance to review it.

PACKAGING
The pack is cleverly designed, in that - although it displays the contents in a blister pack and describes quite clearly what the product is - the overall effect doesn’t scream “Sex Toy!” If this were on display in my local department store along with other packs of mens’ briefs etc., I don’t think I’d realise it was a sex toy until I’d had a careful read of the wording on the box.

CONTENTS
The boxers are a 95% Cotton / 5% Spandex mix, which makes them plenty stretchy, snug in all the right places (very important!) and with all the comfort and breathability you expect from cotton. I like them and could see myself using them just as a garment for everyday wear. Inside, there are 3 oblong pouches into which you can fit the vibe toy. The pouches are positioned above each other vertically. If you arrange your fabulous bits in such a way that your (flaccid) penis is pointing upwards toward the waistband, the 3 pouches give you a choice of holding the vibe toy against:

a) the penis shaft/head (this may change if you become erect!)
b) the scrotum
c) the perineum (between your legs)

I’m rather fond of anal stimulation, so ideally I would have liked a 4th pocket that holds the vibe against that area - but y’know what? If you or your OH are handy with a sewing machine, you could easily add your own extra pockets wherever you like!

The toy has two parts: the vibe itself, which has a pleasingly sculpted shape (hard to describe - a bit like a curved, elongated teardrop) and the “wristwatch” remote control, which looks very like those fitness-monitor devices everyone’s wearing nowadays - very inconspicuous. Both items are finished in velvety-smooth black silicone. The vibe part also has (for no reason beyond decoration) a little chrome panel.

I won’t go into detail about the standby/switch-on routine. Suffice to say that you have to put the vibe toy into standby mode before the remote will make it do anything (makes sense). The process involves flashing LEDs and I got the hang of it very quickly without having to consult the instructions - just as well, as they are in incredibly tiny print. Even with good eyesight, you’d need a powerful magnifying glass to make them out at all.

CHARGING
The charging cable has a standard USB plug at one end and two mini-jack plugs at the other: one for each device. The fun here is in locating the jack socket holes in each unit! Because the whole kit is intended to be waterproof, the holes are very tiny indeed, made to be self-healing - so tiny that you may not believe the jack plugs are going to fit into them. Don’t worry - just push them in and they will. You may have to look at the devices under a strong light to actually see the holes: one is at the blunt end of the vibe toy and the other is on the side of the remote control. Once plugged in, LEDs on both devices flash during charging. When charging is complete the LEDs glow continuously.

USING THE TOY
I began with the vibe in the uppermost (penis) pouch. The sensations were very pleasant, although I suspect that prolonged application of the vibe in such a sensitive area could eventually lead to numbing. Consequently, whether I would achieve orgasm by use of this toy alone is debatable. This is entirely a personal thing, though: I’m sure it will be different for every user. It does not diminish the toy in my opinion one bit. It’s FUN!

Next I tried the middle (scrotum) pocket. OH… MY… GOD!!! This had me dancing around the room, making strange noises and giggling! This position is (for me) an absolute torment of pleasure. I can imagine it being used to wickedly torturous effect if the remote were in the possession of a partner with a devious sense of fun. Absolutely fabulous sensations - almost too much to bear. Very much a case of “Oh god, stop it! …No, don’t!”

Finally, I tried the vibe in the lowest (perineum) pocket. While not as overwhelmingly intense as the previous option, this provided a lot of pleasure too - the kind of vibes you want to “lean into”, if you know what I mean. Very interesting sensations, especially when sitting down. Lots of territory to explore in further play. Woohoo!

VIBE PATTERNS
The range of 12 vibration patterns from this toy is truly impressive. Unlike many vibe toys, you don’t just get a selection of “variations on the same theme”. The quality and speed of vibration varies from one setting to another, ranging from fizzy to rumbly, and on at least one setting the intensity swells and decays in a manner I found truly delicious - that one kinda made me go all moany and dreamy. I’ll be doing that again!

REMOTE CONTROL RANGE
I don’t currently have a partner, and in all conscience didn’t really feel I could nip next door and ask my elderly neighbour to give the remote a workout for me while I writhed bizarrely on a distant street corner, so I’m unable to report on this aspect. The box says it works at up to 10 metres, and I have no reason to doubt it.

NOISE
This is such a difficult one to answer - it’s so subjective. Would I call it noisy? Not excessively so. It is audible, though. In a busy environment (doing the supermarket shop?) it would probably go unnoticed. Anywhere quieter (a mostly empty restaurant?) I’m not so sure. I suspect that if I were wearing this device and had it buzzing away in my pants while sat at the bus stop, at least one of my fellow passengers would be bound to wonder why my phone kept vibrating and why I didn’t answer the damned thing!

VERDICT: One test session was enough to convince me. This product is a winner. 9/10

Pros: The many options it offers for creative play

Cons: Nothing

Bottom Line: Tons of fun!

[PleasureDrone]

Blowmotion Turbo Power Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator
by @PleasureDrone, 19 April 2021
Blowmotion Turbo Power Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator

Weighs a ton and not much fun

Overall Rating: 1/5 ☆

I was sent this as a pre-market test item, so I am unaware of its intended price point.

I’d never tried any masturbation toys that you can put your penis into - Fleshlights and suchlike - so I was super-curious to try this item and see what the experience was like. As it seems relevant to the review, for the record I am about 6 inches when erect. I am also circumcised.

The delivery arrived while I was out, so was waiting for me when I got back. My first thought on picking up the package was “Blimey, this thing’s HEAVY!” Out of curiosity, I took the toy out of its box and put it on my kitchen scales. It weighs in at 705g (just over 1½lbs). On reading the description on the outside of the box, it was clear why: this beast has THREE motors inside. Gulp!

APPEARANCE
The unit is (IMHO) rather beautiful to look at: all organic curves - rather like something out of a science fiction film. The outer sleeve part, which contains the motors and electronics, is made of soft but rigid black silicone. Within that is the “business end” of the toy: a pleasingly non-gender-specific orifice with a circular entrance and a reported depth of 6 inches. The inside surface has spiral undulations leading to a pattern of nodules at its deepest part. The most remarkable thing about this part of the toy is what it’s made of: a super-soft, super-flexible gel-like substance designed to snug itself around your penis and offer gentle but yielding resistance. When removed from the outer sleeve (for cleaning etc), it looks like some strange jellyfish-like creature from the deep oceans.

CHARGING
During charging, the surround of the (+) button flashes slowly with a white LED. The instructions claim that a full charge takes 200 minutes. My sample must have been partially charged already, because it took only about 30 minutes before the white LED went from pulsing to continuous, indicating full charge.

USING THE TOY
I put plenty of water-based lube inside the toy and on my erect penis, then pushed slowly and steadily in. I met with slight resistance, and was aware of a sensation of being “hugged” by the gel material. The unit took the whole length of me comfortably, without any sense that I was bumping up against the end of its capacity. Once fully inserted, I switched on the motor(s) and stepped through the various patterns and intensities, including “turbo” mode. Meanwhile, I proceeded to …er… ‘fuck’ the thing - an operation which, I’m sorry to say, proved neither particularly easy to accomplish nor especially stimulating.

Repeatedly ploughing myself into its lubed-up interior produced a fascinating repertoire of shlurping noises, but beyond that, there wasn’t a lot to talk about. Put simply, I just wasn’t “feeling it”. In fact, I wasn’t feeling anything! Certainly it was in no way similar to being inside any part of a human being. The best way I can describe it is to say that I now know what it is like to fuck a jellyfish in a blender.

I wondered whether maybe I’d used too much lube, so I cleaned some of it out and tried again, but that just made it too grippy/draggy on my shaft and there was no noticeable improvement in sensation. Next I thought, is it because I am circumcised, and thus have a less super-sensitive glans than an uncut guy? That seems a poor excuse, though, as I’ve never experienced any lack of stimulation during ordinary masturbation.

Long story short: regardless of how I manipulated the toy or what vibe settings I tried out, it did nothing for me. The vibrations are powerful but rumbly and kind of distant in quality: certainly nothing compared to the kind of buzzy thrill I can enjoy by applying a simple bullet vibe to my penis. I felt that my penis was actually being insulated from the vibrations by the thickness of the gel sleeve. Also, the weight of the toy is, IMO, a SERIOUS problem: it makes it unwieldy and laborious to use.

VIBE PATTERNS
I shan’t bother describing them, as they weren’t memorable. Suffice to say that there are some.

NOISE
Given the “3 motors” thing, the unit is relatively quiet, mostly on account of the low frequency of the vibrations.

CLEANING/AFTERCARE
If you’ve read this far, you won’t be surprised to hear that I did not get anywhere near an orgasm, so in my case there was no actual jizz to clean out of it. However, if there had been, it would have been no problem at all to deal with. The gel-like orifice part removes from the main sleeve easily, and the material it’s made of is so amazingly flexible, you can turn it completely inside out, like a glove, for washing and drying.

EXTRA INFORMATION: A DISCOVERY!
The following day, I had a bit of a lightbulb moment. I took the gel-like orifice/sleeve part out of the toy and, using no lube apart from a moderate amount of LH “Release” masturbation cream, I used it as a hand-held stroker. Result: sensation! Very pleasant sensation! - and, in fairly short order, orgasm!

I know… this may seem hardly to count as relevant to the product as supplied for review, as my pleasure had nothing to do with the main vibrating part of the toy - the part that, I would imagine, will comprise most of its eventual purchase price. The fact is, though, that the inner sleeve, used on its own as a stroker, is a really nice piece of kit. I don’t know whether LH is currently making/selling any strokers made of this super-flexible gel-like substance, but if not, IMHO it’s definitely something to consider for future product lines.

Pros: The removable gel sleeve is non-anatomical / not gender-specific, and very easy to clean

Cons: When used as intended - no fun. Also, the main motor unit is tiresomely heavy

Bottom Line: Ditch the motor unit! Sell the inner sleeve as a stroker toy, and you’ll be onto something.

[PleasureDrone]

Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Crop
by @PleasureDrone, 29 April 2019
Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Crop

A fun toy, but not for advanced pain players

Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Haven’t got a partner at present, and solo play with a full-length crop is difficult, so I thought this might make things easier to reach. Also, as a lifelong vegetarian I don’t use leather, so was pleased by the fact that this crop has a faux leather “business end”.

On unpacking the item, I was very pleased to find that it was nicely balanced and had bit of weight and heft to it - makes for better accuracy and just generally makes it feel like a quality item. Tried a medium-to-hard test slap on the palm of my hand. Result: nowhere near as painful as I’d been hoping. Hmmm…

Had another go, this time using as much force as I could muster (far more than I would ever dream of using with a full length crop). Result: a pleasingly warm sting that lingered a bit and left a nice red mark on my hand. Now, obviously everyone has their own individual pain threshold/tolerance, but this was the moment I realised that, even in the hands of an absolute maniac, this little critter was never going to put me anywhere within a mile of needing a safe word. Hey ho…

Disappointing? A bit, yes - but there is an up-side. In the past I’ve had to train a partner in how to (mis)treat me, and a little fella like this would have been very useful back then to give a nervous candidate the freedom to get a feel for pain play techniques and discover their inner Master/Mistress, safe in the knowledge that they could make mistakes without sending me straight to A+E!

I had a good old go at m’self with this crop for a couple of hours, trying it on pretty much every part of me I could reach, including REALLY sensitive areas (but avoiding the unsafe regions, natch). No matter how hell-for-(non)-leather I went at it, I never managed to surprise myself into an “OMG why did I do THAT?” hopping-round-the-room-and-breathing-hard moment. I just got physically tired of thrashing myself without ever getting beyond the “nice warm sting” phase. HOWEVER, therein may lie the real use of this crop: for those who like a good lengthy warm-up before moving on to the SERIOUS stuff.

Also, I must echo what so many others have said about this crop. It may not be a big punisher, but flamin’ 'eck is it LOUD!!! I’d not long started using it before I realised that the bedroom window was open (oops), so had to dash over and shut it. Even with the windows shut and the curtains drawn, though, I had a sneaky feeling that my neighbours might still have been able to hear the EAR-SPLITTING CRACK this thing produces (WOW!), so I moved to the guest bedroom, which is more soundproof. This “low pain, high noise” combo makes this crop ideal for use on a nursery-slopes sub who doesn’t have much pain tolerance but who would enjoy the psychological effect of the noise. It really does sound like you’re being given a major thrashing!

Bottom Line: Good for newbie doms and subs alike, but not for anyone who likes it HARD.

Pros: Nicely made, weighty and well balanced.

Cons: Pretty painless!