I’m posting this here because the original review lost all its formatting in the move to the new website, making it all but unreadable.
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug
by @PleasureDrone, 23 Oct 2020
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug
Overall Rating: 3/5 ☆ ☆ ☆
PACKAGING
This item comes in a smart black and purple box that shouts luxury - I half expected it to contain an assortment of dark chocolates! It’s the sort of box no-one would be ashamed to give - or receive - as a present for that special occasion.
Inside is a soft black leatherette zipper-pouch with a subtle LH logo on the side - so subtle that you have to angle the light just right to see it at all. You could walk into a hotel lobby clutching this and no-one would suspect a thing.
The pouch is in two sections. In one side is the toy and its remote control unit (in a sealed plastic bag); in the other side is the charging lead and a little instruction booklet - and I mean little: the print inside the booklet is so tiny that even using my strongest reading specs it was a struggle to make out. One section of it is called “The small print”. Come off it, guys - it’s ALL small!
THE TOY
The toy and its remote are made of the loveliest, most velvety-smooth silicone I’ve ever encountered! Again, the effect is of luxury: handling it is a pleasure in itself. I found myself having to resist the temptation to keep stroking it like a pet!
It is a pleasingly-shaped thing, all gentle curves and asymmetry, and it is because of its shape that I must take issue with the name it’s been given. The wording on the box says “butt plug”, but it really ISN’T one, because it doesn’t “plug” you. It has no defined “step” where the head of a typical butt plug suddenly narrows to a stem, enabling the user’s sphincter muscles to hold it in place without effort. This toy’s shape is much closer to that of an Aneros-style prostate massager. So, even before use, I was sceptical as to whether it was going to stay put inside me. I’ve tried a few prostate toys in the past, and they’ve all had a tendency to fall out. I was REALLY hoping that this elegant beauty wouldn’t do likewise.
On the underside of the T-shaped base there is a round, shallow depression about the size of a 1p piece, where live the on/off switch, a hidden LED and the socket for the charging cable. I was surprised to find that this socket has no protective sealing-cap of any kind. I would have thought such a thing essential in a toy that is meant to be used in combination with plenty of water-based lube. I would be worried about lube (and washing water) getting into the socket and shorting the terminals.
CHARGING AND SWITCHING ON
Having read the instructions with the aid of a magnifying glass (I’m not kidding!), I plugged it into a suitable USB socket and left it to charge. While charging, a small white LED in the base flashes. When charging is complete, the LED glows continuously. Before it will work, you have to take the battery transit strip out of the remote and the toy has to be put into “standby mode” by a long press on the power button on its base. Entering standby is confirmed by a brief flash of the LED.
I pressed the mode button on the remote …and the toy, which had been lying on its side on the table in front of me, leapt into such vigorous life that it shot away across the table under its own steam! I grabbed it and held it in my hand as I stepped the remote through its patterns. It vibrated with such force that it made my fingers go numb. Switching it off, I considered just what effect those vibrations were going to have, once it was working away inside me. Yikes!
USING THE TOY
Prepped and nicely lubed-up, insertion was just as easy as you’d expect from a toy of this shape. Then came the first problem: it wouldn’t switch on. Repeatedly I went through the “standby / switch on” routine, but no joy, so I pulled it halfway out, tried the routine again and it kicked into life.The vibrations, while plenty strong, were not - I’m glad to say - the eye-popping fright-fest I’d been half-expecting. I stepped through the various patterns and strengths and found everything obeyed, exactly as designed. And did it stay in place? Well… sort of. It never slipped out entirely, but neither would it stay fully inserted. With no defined “step” to stop it, the toy kept sliding back out of me by about 2 inches. The only way I could keep it fully in was by using a hand or by squeezing my buttock muscles - good Kegel exercise, I guess, but not what this toy is for!
…and what of pleasure? Did this buzzy beast bring me to a shuddering, prostate-enhanced orgasm? No. For two reasons:
- After a while, having such powerful vibes going on inside me had a numbing effect: it actually made me LESS turned on.
- So preoccupied was I with trying to keep the toy in place, I lost my erection.
To be completely frank, the toy was more of a distraction than a help. This is not a failing of the toy itself, though. I’m sure many people will find it supplies exactly the stimulation they’re craving. For me, though, it was all a bit of a dead loss.