Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 29th October 2021
Lifelike Lover Luxe Auto Ejaculating Remote Control Dildo 8 Inch
There are but two things in life I crave… cum and cocks - I don’t ask for much. I have an insatiable addiction to them both. I literally own a mountain of dicks and dildos, I am the hoarder become whore, and weekly I’m adding to my ever growing mound that is ‘Penis Peak’. But dildos that can actually ejaculate, spurt sperm into me and my surroundings and gift me that reward of a well earned warm cum filling are surprisingly rare and I only own a couple. I can tell you from experience, it’s one thing having a dildo making you cum, then another thing entirely having it cum itself completely inside of you while you climax on top of it. When I discovered that Lovehoney had added a new dildo that collaborated my love of both cocks and cum, combined together to fill me in more ways than one, I nearly wet myself with excitement.
My ejaculation fascination is real.
Although marketed as an 8” member, by my own measurements the length of this dildo from tip to the base of the balls by the suction cup is 7.5”s with just over 6.5”s of maximum insertable length. The slender circumference is only about 4.75”s at its widest point mid-shaft but the fantasy factor and realistic appearance of this dick is breathtaking, and although the density is a lot stiffer than a real cock - it’s literally solid with no flexibility whatsoever, it’s squishy outer silicone coating, sinuous veins and bulging head make it a real pussy pleaser. Even though it’s smaller and a lot firmer than dildos I’d normally choose, it’ll be brilliant for most people, even if all you want to do is grab a dick, hop on, and ‘get off’.
But this pretty little Penis has more than one ace up it’s sleeve. Not only is it a dildo, but a vibrator too, and the remotely controlled vibrations from this dick are insane. They’re deliciously deep and rumbly and you can feel these reverberate right through the entire cock, but I’ll be honest, although it’s ridiculously powerful and I love vibrators, internal vibrations aren’t always my thing and not at all necessary to make me cum. But with 10 options of powerful vibrations, and the fact that it’s extremely quiet, this feature will be a pleaser for many I’m sure.
But the star of the show is watching it blow, shooting it’s cum for this little hoe.
The squirting cum function of this dildo is mighty, magical and mesmerising, there are no other words or ways to describe it. As I mentioned, I am absolutely infatuated with cum and ejaculation, completely obsessed and there’s nothing more arousing to me than a cock shooting cum - preferably a lot of it - in and all over me. But it’s the fun after a fucking when it all runs back out of me and down my bum and legs that keeps me going and wanting more and more. The way this cock shoots and erupts pulsing jets of jizz into me is so fascinatingly realistic it makes me tremble. How can something so damn hot make me shiver so much.
With a choice of ejaculating this cock from either a button by the balls, or activated at your will via a button on the remote control, the options of fun and filth are only limited by your imagination. Whether you want to milk this member with your hands, paint your face in a glorious facial or take a gargantuan load in your pussy or bum, there’s no way you’d ever be bored of this beauty. You can either enjoy short quick fire spurting shots or a continuous creamy flow filling depending how long you hold down the button. I have to say the remote control works brilliantly and is a must for any cam-girl.
Depending on your choice of cum filling, you can decide whether you want a thin water pistol style spurting or a thick and steady ooze eruption, and although a cum volume of around 15ml may not sound that much, I can assure you, it’s an ample amount for single internal full filling. I’ve found that using a combination of the ‘Creamy Cum Lube’ that Lovehoney sell mixed with just a dash of warm water to thin it every so slightly, makes a super slippery creamy cum concoction to consecutively spurt inside yourself or across your face.
But, I’m all about taking things that extra step in realism and I’ve found that a mix of warm water, a spoon of cornflour and a little icing sugar makes a sensationally sweet, lifelike looking, edible cum creation. If you’re like me and crave a deep throat-fuck filling or love to suck and lick your dildos during and after you’ve been cumming all over them, then you will absolutely love this as much as I do. I can tell you, it’s genuinely impossible to distinguish who’s cum is who’s with this dildo.
The suction cup needs a mention as this was a hugely important aspect of this dildo that I needed to be great, not only for my own handsfree enjoyment, but for when using it performing as a cam-girl, and it didn’t disappoint. Although it didn’t attach all that great to my painted walls, when stuck to perfectly smooth and flat surfaces like tiles or a shower screen it is phenomenal. My go to location is my giant bedroom mirror, not only does the silicone stick to it like glue, but to also see yourself creaming the dildo in the reflection, and then being creamed by a colossal cum load completely handsfree is devine and a visual arousal at its finest. Try it.
Cleaning the dildo after use is of course a little more laborious than your standard silicone snake, but by no means challenging. Wash the entire cock in warm soapy water and flush the internal chamber and tubing with water too - it’s actually quite humourous to watch it do a little water-squirt wee too - then just re-open the fluid compartment, rinse again, shake out the remaining water and leave it open to air-dry. Cleaning up your dripping creampied self, your cum covered face and your obliterated bedding - and your tainted browser history after using this dick - is a whole different topic. Just remember, it’s only as messy and filthy as the person you want to become.
In summery, although a stiff and slender member, the dildo itself is magnificent in both form and function and feels phenomenal inside of me. The remotely controled cum squirting function is astounding and it cums as fiercely as it makes me cum with it. If you’re an occasional cam-performer like myself, a video creator or love to take erotic photos, this will undoubtedly be right up your street while on top of your sheets. It’s incredible for solo play, sensational for couples and it’ll be perfect for pegging your partner at a whole new level of realism in both appearance and internal feelings. It’s revolutionary for roleplay and simulated fantasy threesomes, but it’s even better for when I’m alone and just want a fun filling fuck and a huge creampie to suit, both the dildo and myself cumming gloriously together at once. I absolutely love it.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: The pulsating and spurting ejaculation is so unbelievably realistic and arousing it makes me giddy.
Cons: It’s way too firm for deep anal play, but for shallow anal creampies, it is sensational.
Bottom Line: For online cam performances it is next level, but for a fun cum-filling fuck all by myself… it is ecstasy.