Need advice from men who have had prostate orgasms

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So, my partner and I have been experimenting with anal for...oooh about a year now, and for the last 6 months (Playing a few times a week) we seem to have found his prostate, learned the kind of stimulation he likes and been tirelessly doing those things over and over and he constantly reports getting to a point where he feels like he is 'On the edge' He feels tingling all around his groin and down his penis and says it feels like he is about to cum. (Let me just add, this is all without any stimulation to his penis, just prostate.)

The 'problem' is that although he has been at this point many times over the months, he has yet to experience the prostate orgasm and we are unsure why, considering he is right there, ready to go over but...nothing. I am starting to have doubts that I will never be able to make him orgasm this way, that maybe my technique is wrong, or we are missing something that we should be doing at that moment.

What tends to happen is he builds up, says he is really close, says it feels amazing and just stays at that point more or less, dropping back a little then getting there again and then eventually, as time goes on, he says it just starts to feel too weird/intense and he has to stop. I asked him if it feels intense good or intense bad and he says he doesnt know, that it is kind of both, and that he really needs to pee or feels a weird feeling travelling through his body that kind of freaks him out a little. From what I have read, all of this sounds like he is close to a prostate orgasm, but as it gets so intense, he is stopping it because he cannot stand the sensation at that point.

We have ltried about 20 different toys and narrowed down to the ones he likes best, and I have tried different stimulation from slow and gentle in and out to fast jiggling (That one works best but by the time he reports getting close, my arm is literally....fucked! lol)

Mehhhh! I so want to give him this pleasure (I am not forcing it on him btw, he is always just as keen) for the most part, I will happily be down there for hours doing what feels good and it is getting a little....frustrating? I guess, for both of us, that I seem to have him there so often but either he is not letting himself go or I am not moving right at that moment, I dunno.

Anyway, guys who have experience with prostate orgasms, can you advise me? What does it feel like when you are close? What should he do when he is close? Relaxing? tensing? Pushing or flexing his PC muscles? Anything?

Just to let you know, he has no problem having dual orgasms, where I play with his prostate and his penis together and says they feel intense. We are just specifically seeing if we can give him a prostate orgasm without any penis stimulation (I appreciate it isn't easy and if he didn't report that he was so close to one, I would have probably let the idea of trying this slide, but it seems....possible for him....well.....it seems close anyway.

Literally any advice or tips or information would be helpful, even if you just tell me what it feels like, so he can read this and be reassured about these intense feelings that weird him out, Anything? Help! lol

2

Great question and hopefully someone here can help.

It can be difficult and i've yet to manage one without dual stimulation.

3

Fluffbags - you may find this thread helps http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-toys/188145-cant-find-my-hubbies-prostate-blush/

particulalrly the comments made by SXe-Couple

Chances are you'r too far in.

Personally Id say avoid a toy until you know what you're aiming for, plus I've never found a toy to bring me off as strongly as my partners tiny finger (she has tiny tiny hands).

Get him on his back and relaxed with a pillow underneath his bum and his feet either resting on a similar level or with his knees tucked up to his body.

Slide in your finger (usually middle for her) and aim towards the front wall. Trace circles at different depths and after a few minutes slide your finger back out leave it a minute then put it back in. Notice anything more engorged? Likely its his prostate.

Personally I like it being rubbed around with a firm (not too firm) pressure, with lots of changing of direction as I'm getting close. Try to get him not to fiddle with his cock as it'll cut short the lengthy orgasm feeling you get from a prostate massage.

I'll repeat as well, its not as deep as you might think!

4

I use my Anerous and can get this far on a regular basis, but seem to hit the same struggle point...

Just need the OH to use her finger...

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Bump for the lads to see x

6

Thanks so far guys. I think I will go back to the finger, I moved away from that due to bloody cramp in my hand. He has some grip! lol

Ork, of course I let him pee! lol. I will rephrase it: Even if he goes to pee a few minutes before, the stimulation makes it feel like he needs to pee again when the stimulation is there. We have tried stopping for him to pee, and I have also told him it is probably the same feeling as females get when the g-spot is being played with and if he pees or not I dont mind nor care. Either way, the strange sensation puts him off. My guess is he mentally stops it happening because of the very strange feelings he isnt used to. Going to try fingers instead of toys though.

I know this kind of thing doesnt happen overnight and that it can take months or years to "learn" how to cum this way. Which is fine by me, as long as he likes it I will keep trying. I think its just because it has been quite a while we have been experimenting and he keeps "getting close" but not going over, and that is the frustrating part, like, hes right there...but then it never crashes over. So it isn't about trying to rush something that he isnt enjoying or isnt ready for....its more like, he is there often but never quite makes it over...if that makes sense? So there is no pressure because he is still enjoying it, I think its just something we would both like to experience. He would tell me if it was pressure, he has always told me if its not working or if somethings up.

7

Ive only ever done it twice, and both times i just started shaking, You can have a prostate orgasim without cumming, its a dry orgasim.

Atleast so ive read somewhere.

Maybe try giving it a little kick start when hes right at the edge, give it a tugg or two to get the proccess started?

8

WeeSteve wrote:

Ive only ever done it twice, and both times i just started shaking, You can have a prostate orgasim without cumming, its a dry orgasim.

Atleast so ive read somewhere.

Maybe try giving it a little kick start when hes right at the edge, give it a tugg or two to get the proccess started?

We have done this many times. He ends up cumming, but having a 'normal' orgasm, he goes straight into a refractory period and feels like it was just a usual 'penis' orgasm, with cum included lol. Yes I can push him over this way quite easily if he gets close enough through touching his penis first and then going to the bum directly when he is very close from penis stimulation. It does not work the other way around though. If I get him 'close' through anal alone and then play with his penis...he won't cum. So far, he has never had a dry orgasm.

Maybe we are asking too much from just playing with the prostate alone, but he gets so close! bahhh!

9

could be he just cant? some woman cant squirt, some cant cum from penetration, maybe your dude just cant cum from the bum fun :(

What you need to do is try it on someone else see if it works. i volunteer!! :P

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I know it can feel uncomfortably strange at times with g-spot pleasure so I have assumed it was a similar thing he is experiencing but only he can push himself through it. We do have a D/s dynamic but when he calls for it to stop, it stops and that's it. He is not into pain at all. So I would be happy to push it with a person who was, but with him, when he feels this intensity that he describes as 'too intense' its game over. I cannot, obviously if he calls stop, it stops. He has a way lower pain threshold than me...for which i take the piss often :D

11

WeeSteve wrote:

could be he just cant? some woman cant squirt, some cant cum from penetration, maybe your dude just cant cum from the bum fun :(

What you need to do is try it on someone else see if it works. i volunteer!! :P

Thats what I am thinking, but neither of us are willing to give up yet :D Still plenty of experimenting to do before we say "Nope, never gunna happen" but its possible.

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I am working on it, kind of. :D hehe just having fun together, as he is my first experience topping and I am still a learner, as is he. So far I have discovered that he cannot handle: Ice (Pain beyond belief apparently and screamed like a baby. pmsl) The Wartenburg wheel, Candle Wax (Although the main issue there was when it got stuck in his hairy bits) and floggers are evil he says!!!! lol....I put the whips and paddles away, not even going to THINK about the cane. Hes my wimp! lol. I think he just loves a good whinge to be honest, I see him smiling and his hands shooting up into the cuffs when it is time to play, but I know for a FACT he cannot stand the kind of pain I can. He calls me to stop before I have even begun with my sadistic plans. lol I don't mind pushing him to his limit. His limit seems to be....I'm just about to cum...stop! lol

Heres hoping in a few months or something, I will be back here saying "It happeneddddd"

13

i get the pain thing, pain is a massive turn off to me and kills my mood instantly,

And floggers are evil!

14

nice thread ,hey fluff bags tell him to man up and roll with it , hi by the way im new to this lovehoney forum . quite addictive , sorry i cant offer any advice but good luck with the p spot thing ,at the end of the day its fun to practice tho right

15

Ork wrote:

one does not simply man up and roll with it

he does however walk into mordor!

16

i was watching Troy the other day and was like OMG HE DOESNT DIE!

also totally derailed this thread and im guessing 90% of people dont get the refrence

17

its only a prostate massage hardly counts as bdsm does it ?

18

jeffngloria wrote:

its only a prostate massage hardly counts as bdsm does it ?

D/s is BDSM silly

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dont even know what bdsm stands for haha i know the sm on the end like <

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sorry ork i havent followed previous pages ,still new to this ,whats xd by the way ?