Hi there , there is probably a thread already on this if so please direct me in the right area.
My partner has told me that he wants to be in a female lead relationship, (so he makes no decisions really). Now I will admit I am very interested and new to this idea but I’m not sure to approach the whole idea . We started with him a pet name ( bug) I have read a book on female lead relationship. But I’m not sure what I took away from it besides consent rules and checking in on them. I guess I am looking for ideas as to what I can do with bug while we have a session. We brought under bed restraints ( had fun using them but not sure where to go once he is tied up) have also got many toys ( but plugs , dildo, wand and a clit sucker )
Bug would like to be pegged one day or whipped .
I guess my question is help , what can I do to satisfy his needs and my needs but still make sure he is happy with everything. I think because I am new I am very cautious to do anything that could cause pain…
I would suggest he starts wearing lingerie that you choose- I only allow my husband to wear light colours such as pink / white but never black
Get him into spanking - we use a paddle / crop or cane and I spank him a lot - generally he is dressed as a maid / school girl- I vend him over and spank him until his bottom is red (be safe)
After spanking I do like to peg him - I get him to choose the dildo and then bend him over to penetrate his bum - I then do this for about 30 minutes start slow and build up to faster
As time goes on get bigger and wider dildos as longer are easier to play with (get a comfortable harness)
I love dominating my husband- we play for hours - but start with lingerie - defo knickers : suspenders and stockings
Basically in a female led relationship you get to make all the decisions.
You control how, and how often he can have an orgasm. You can tease him and edge him mercilessly but not allow him to come until you allow it.
You can order him to pleasure you any time and in any way you want.
You can make him watch (tied up/blindfolded if you wish) while you pleasure yourself or you can simply send him away while you pleasure yourself.
In our relationship i was kept locked in a chastity cage and was denied an orgasm for up to 6 weeks while she had at least one orgasm every day.
Have a look here. It’s a long topic but it should answer most of your questions.
It sounds as though you and bug are on the right path: you have bug’s consent, you’ve agreed some rules and you clearly have communication going for you, those are all very good steps. The next steps are really about agreeing how this will look for you and bug: will it be live-in 24/7, non-residing 24/7 (where bug is “owned” by you, but doesn’t live with you) or scenes only? Will it be strict and serious, or casual and fun? Will you be out and open with friends, or is this a secret between you and bug? There are lots of things to consider. You might like to try our free BDSM brainstorm worksheet, which can help you both plan out how you want things to go. Don’t worry about doing BDSM “right”; as long as you have cosent and good communication, you’re pretty much away. Make your dynamic how you want tt to be, for you and bug. What I mean to say is, embrace your uniqueness
Lastly, you might find our free digital BDSM workshop helpful. I’m in a male-led relationship and so as such my situation is different from yours, but we’ve used gender-neutral language to make our advice applicable for everyone
Thanks for the advice . We are keeping it casual per se as he is a fly in fly out worker. ( 4 on 4 off) and I respect that some days when he gets home he just want to play his video game and so on. Or not in the mood as he is usually tired the first day he gets home. He does have a male chastity cage witch he has put on for me… and wow metal next to skin is very nice. He has ordered me a couple of books from Amazon to help me understand female lead , how to tease and deny, and one about male chastity. From my understanding in of what I read so far. Bug is in a category called pleasers and want to make sure that I am happy at all times. I do like the idea of him wearing a female piece of clothing or lingerie ( hope he would be ok with that). Thanks again
As long as you’ve agreed a safe word I think that can give you the space to go for it with out too much anxious of hurting him
Maybe you could buy him some lingerie to leave out on the bed and tell him one evening to get upstairs and on that bed in the lingerie for you to peg him and give like 30 mins or so for him to ready himself
. We are keeping it casual per se as he is a fly in fly out worker. ( 4 on 4 off) and I respect that some days when he gets home he just want to play his video game and so on. Or not in the mood as he is usually tired the first day he gets home. He does have a male chastity cage witch he has put on for me… and wow metal next to skin is very nice. He has ordered me a couple of books from Amazon to help me understand female lead , how to tease and deny, and one about male chastity. From my understanding in of what I read so far. Bug is in a category called pleasers and want to make sure that I am happy at all times. I do like the idea of him wearing a female piece of clothing or lingerie ( hope he would be ok with that). Thanks again