Newbie

New here to the forum. Just made a purchase the other day to help spice things up with the Mrs.

I would describe myself as a freak, but maybe after participating in the forums, I will find others that are like me. I’ve been into weird things since I was a kid. My biggest vice is my pregnancy fetish. Since I was a kid, I’ve loved to dress up pregnant. It took me a long time to share this with my wife and finally did about 20 years ago.

This led to some great things in our sex life. We got into toys, watching porn, role playing pregnant sex, etc. Over the years the excitement has died down. Having kids didn’t help.

Anyway over the past couple of years I’ve been trying to bring things back to life. It’s been a little bit of a struggle because the Mrs. is more of a traditional woman. She has never masturbated until after I introduced her to it after we were married. As I felt defeated in my deviant side of life, I turned to watching porn. I’ve gotten a lot of ideas and even tried to get the Mrs. to watch with me in hopes that she would understand and we could get back to the spicy life. She finds the porn things unreal and is more back to wanting things the traditional way.

Oral sex is very infrequent on both sides. We used to use the lotions and other things but it has fallen by the wayside. When she does go down on me, I’ve begged to let me cum in her mouth. I don’t care that she doesn’t want to swallow, but she doesn’t get that just keeping her lips clenched around my pulsating member is just as enjoyable as me filling her hot juicy box. I would love if she would just take it and then let it dribble out or even pass it off as a snowball. I would love to hear some recommendations as to how I can teach her how to do it.

I also love anal stimulation. In the past it’s been hard to get the Mrs. to even play/massage the starfish. It’s getting better as this time last year we talked about it and at the beginning of the year she made the first LH purchase. She bought me the prostate plug with the cockring. I always have to put it in, but I would love to get her to start helping. I’ve been able to get the Mrs to do some milking once and probe me with an old dildo. The other part of the purchase was the purple hollow strap-on after I told her that I would find it erotic for her to peg me. It sat in the drawer unused until 2 months ago when we took a weekend get away. I was pleasantly surprised when she made it a point to pack the toys. We did get to use it one night. I wasn’t able to get it in, but I don’t think she found the excitement in being able to, “do me.” We’ve tried anal on her with little success. She’s been open to accepting my member in her tush, but it’s been painful to her. I’ve since learned that it takes some training, but now when I even try to start with a little massage, she clenches her cheeks and swats my hand away. I’m looking for some advice as to how I can get her to feel comfortable again. I’ve brought up how erotic some dp would be especially now that we have the strap on. I would love for her to find out how erotic it is to be filled in both places and how great it would feel for me while in her box.

At the same time the Mrs made the LH purchase, I bought the OhMiBod Esca2. I was extremely tuned on watching videos of couples using it in public and the intense g-spot orgasms. We’ve tried it several times and while she initially enjoys the stimulation, I can’t get her to leave it in so she can have an internal release. It does get her tuned up enough to pull it out and want my member deep inside her. I always cum and then she finishes off by rubbing her clit. My goal is to get her to leave it in for an internal release, secretly hoping that she will squirt as I love seeing women do it. I’ve talked to her about all of the positives of it, but how do I get her to use it on her own? Nothing would make me more horny than to find out she’s had it in while doing office work. I would also be wound if I could get her to wear when we go out in public.

This leads me to finding this forum because of my recent purchase. I bought the set of 3 heart jeweled butt plugs for my anal needs as well as hopes the Mrs being open to trying the small one and doing some training. I also thought of her and got a wand massager in hopes that the pleasure in the front will open her thoughts to some pleasure in the rear.

Sorry that I wrote a book, but as the freak that I feel that I am, I’m hoping that I can find some support and advice from all of you. I think that I’m too much of a deviant for the Mrs, but I’m hoping that I can get her back to her open-mindedness and slightly erotic side she had 20 years ago.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing what you all have to say.

Duddy

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Hi there and welcome to you @Duddy enjoy the forum

Evening and welcome :blue_heart:

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Sorry this is only a short reply, I’m single and can’t offer much advice in getting your OH more interested. I will say, you’re not a freak (this part is why I’m commenting despite not having advice). As long as it’s safe sane and consensual between all participating adults, like what you like, it in no way makes you a freak.

What’s considered ‘traditional’ or proper varies depending on time and location anyway (there are a lot of people in Asia who think Western men are like babies because of the obsession with boobs). As long as no one gets hurt (unless preagreed of course) just do what makes you happy :grinning:

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Hello and welcome @Duddy :slightly_smiling_face:

Freak is quite a harsh term, and I don’t think it’s a very helpful one either. Everybody has different things that turn them on, and as @Ace12345 said, as long as they’re safe, sane and consensual then we’re all for everyone having as much fun as possible. :slightly_smiling_face::+1:

Your post goes into a bit more detail than is necessary at times. You should check out the Forum Rules, and there’s a good example of overly graphic language in this post. :+1:

You also go into some detail about how unhappy you are with your current situation. I’m afraid the only real way through is by having an open and honest conversation with your partner about it. A neutral location is normally best, outside of the bedroom, and pick a time when you can both give it your full attention. You need to ask her what she would like you to do together, rather than try to teach her or get her to do things you want.

I understand it can be frustrating, but good communication really is the key to a happy sex life.

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Hello and welcome @Duddy :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hey @Duddy, welcome to the forum

:wave::wave::wave:

As others have said (on here and other topics), the best advice is to be open and honest, talk to your OH.

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Hi @Duddy :wave:
Welcome to the forum!

It sounds like she used to be a bit more open to other things, I would have an friendly, honest conversation about how you miss those things and would like to get back to them. I would not currently bring up the new things you want to try, just reading it as you’ve written it, I would feel incredibly pressurised if my other half started a conversation in that way. If I feel pressured into doing something the answer is much more likely to be “No” than if it is something opened up about and asked how I feel about it and what I’d like.

If you can regain the intimacy, frequency and both enjoy the sex it will probably lead to further experimentation in the future. If she feels pressured it probably won’t. As to anal, when she is willing to give it a go the absolute main thing is that she needs to be relaxed and happy about it. If tense and uncomfortable it will not work, it will hurt and put her off trying again. Not so much about training up over time but just starting every session gently and small and after foreplay she is happy with so she is already turned on.

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Welcome :blush:

Welcome to the forum

Hi @Duddy and welcome, wishing you luck on your journey, it sounds like your wife has actually been quite open minded with you so far so you should be pleased with that even though you may have had to fight for it and talk about your needs and i’m sure you’d like things to go further. Like @Ian_Chimp mentioned if you can talk openly and regularly about this and make sure her voice and wants are an equal part of the discussion you might find that she has built up some hidden depths of her own but needs some encouragement to explore them.

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Welcome to the forum @Duddy

Hello and welcome @Duddy! :wave:t2:

There’s quite a lot to unpack in your post, but there are lots of different threads that you may find helpful where people have posted previous advice etc.

To me it sounds a lot about what you want your partner to do, rather than what she wants to do or what she finds pleasurable. You are definitely not a freak, everyone has their own kinks and I’m sure there’s lots you share with others in this forum, and it’s a great community for being able to talk openly about them. I think in relationships its about finding that balance, and as others have said open and honest communication is key :blush:

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Welcome @Duddy!

I don’t think you are a freak at all - as others have said before me, everybody has different sexual preferences. It really isn’t something to feel ashamed of!

I hope that being on this forum will help you to acknowledge this, and I also hope that you will find the discussions and threads useful.

I do think that communicating with your partner could be the best way forward - for instance, talking openly about your desires may make her more willing to try new things with you, or she may reveal some of her own sexual needs to you. One thing to remember here is that, if she doesn’t know what you crave (and vice versa), how can anything new happen? I hope that makes sense.

I wish you all the best!

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