OK - some help is badly needed

Sex Tips & Talk
1

You all know I've just ordered my very first toy - and yes we never used anything during our 44 years of marriage - it was just the pair of us . Now I realise that it could well have been a good idea - but I learnt what he wanted , and he learned how to help me enjoy sex and eventually I realised that I could and did get an orgasm [oh happy memories].

Now I seem to be waking up and coming out of this dark place and I want to enjoy masturbation as my ' bits ' seem to be waking up and demanding some attention. I want to be able to go to orgasm if it's possible .

Soooooo my Rabbit is on its way to me and I'm going to have to learn how to use it - could be fun or it could be a rather stressful experience - yes I'm starting to stress a bit.

Not a good experience last night when I woke aroused - is it allowable to be very descriptive about it so I can ask for help from all you nice folk ? Remember I belong to the generation when s.. was not nice , not done by folk like us , not talked about and always done in the bedroom .

2

Hi Silver! It's totally allowable to be descriptive indeed. It all helps! Oh and welcome to the forums :) SG x

3

Hi Silver join in the fun and talk as freely as you want to enjoy the forums and read the rules as well bye for now xxxLMD

4

I highly recommend Durex Play O to give you a little more help. Good luck with your explorations. :)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14886

5

WOW - thanks folks :) I didn't expect a response that fast. I just didn't know how far I could go to try and explain.

OK - now it's only been recently that I've realised, when I woke in the night, what was going on. My learned / taught experience was that if you woke in the night it's probably due to needing to pee - so I headed sleepily to the bathroom next door . OH and BTW we always slept in the raw :) So if I didn't get quickly to the bathroom I felt as if I was leaking and was somewhat embarrassed. I probably wasn't - now I suspect it was my 'juices' making their presence felt - we normally would have play and sex everynight [ always in bed though and alwats with the curtains closed - that generation thing again]

Now I'm waking very very definitely aroused - my nipples are normally rock hard and my vaginal area is definitely uncomfortable [ my labia are very definitely throbbing - I can feel it without touching them ] and I'm moist , very very moist and it's NOT wee.

As I say my body is telling me that it's neeeding some help - so I want to help it and masturbation is the only possible way. I never masturbated normally , felt it wasn't 'right' but I once did when we were away on holiday and I thought my husband was sleeping - we were up a mountain in Portugal and just lying there under the sun and I slipped my hand in my knickers and felt my Clit - was it big :D so I helped it along but I never actually got an orgasm - but I enjoyed the experience. Much later he told me he had watched me and enjoyed seeing me enjoy myself.

Orgasms came later only after about 20 years and oh my , I did enjoy letting go and allowing myself to flood the place once I reached that pitch that I was nearly screaming for him to enter me and he would continue to stroke and manipulate my clitoris unti I felt I was exploding and would be peeing everywhere. I could not get to that pitch unless he played with my clit - I didn't get the same with just penetration - I had to have my clit played with to reach what I presume was an orgasm , by heck it was really good though.

Last night I woke - pretty wet but not with very erect nipples - I decided to have a go again. Got my nipples hard and moved down to my clit . Now here we have a problem - I've had bad elbow injuries in the past and neither arm straightens fully and I'm FAT , very fat and my tummy gets in the way so positioning is not easy. I managed , on my back slightly angled to one side with the upper leg bent and angled outwards and I could reach my clitoris , so I started to rub it gently but it wasn't really responding :( My labia were enlarged but despite the stimulation weren't getting any bigger and it wasn't really getting any better. I can't reach into my vagina but believe me I was well lubricated . The night before I got much further along but didn't get to climax - nowhere near.

I was frustrated / annoyed with myself - I'm clearly needing some help .

I'm now thinking about my Rabbit - this one

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14099

OK I've watched the video about it - read the reviews etc but still wondering how it will be best for me to use it.

Do I switch it on before I place it in my vagina ? Do I use the ears first and then insert the shaft ? Should I just go for it and use both parts from the beginning.

Yes I know , I'm panicking about this , but I want to get rid of all this pent up frustration . I want to be alive again , my sexual bits are telling me that they are ready and need to work again.

I've only ever had the one partner - we were both virgins . We were married for 44 years. I can't see myself at 70 plus having another partner - but I want to experience sexual pleasure again .

Does any of this make sense to you ?

This has caused me quite a bit of possibly shame , discomfort and embarrassment having to admit I don't know what to do . I've not found any of this easy - it took a hell of a lot of courage to phone and talk to Laura yesterday and order up my little soon-to-be-my-best-friend. But I did it and that's the first stage over - now comes to time of putting it into practice - and I'm terrified that things will go wrong .

I'm sorry I've poured out everything like this - it's made a heck of a long epistle and you'll be bored reading it. Why have I done it - because you seem to be so open - knwo far more than me and I'm hoping you will be able to help me

6

Brilliant post Silver! I think I'll leave this to the experts. . .ladies of the OA! :)
SG x

7

Hiya,

I guess it might seem a little strange for a guy to be postin g to this thread but I thought my partner and I's experiences might be relevant. First of all, a big welcome to Lovehoney.

My partner an I have been together for a few years now and neither of us had ever tried any toys, we too belong to the "sex was something done but not spoken about" age group and sex toys or the rather laughable and dated term "marital aids" was something that were sold in sleezy dark shops tucked away in backstreet locations. Although we both enjoy quite an active and tender sex life after discussion we both agreed that it would be fun and sexy to have a look around the internet and see what was out there and it was whilst doing this that we stumbled upon LH's website. Like all things openly however it was with some treperdation that we decided to buy a vibrator for us to use as part of out lovemaking activities. This proved to be a revelation to us both and she really enjoyed me using it on her as did/do I. It was a very basic model but we soon learned to be skillful with it and she has enjoyed some very powerful orgasms using it.

Since then we have progressed (for lack of a better world) onto and experimented with other toys and her favourite is probably the Jessica Rabbit 2 that I bought for her as part of her Christmas pressies a couple of Christmases ago. Although she will use it herself she much prefers me to use it on her. It seems to hit all the right spot, The ears I use to stimulate her clit whilst the rotating shaft can be use to hit her g-spot although this did take some time to reliabley master. I usually apply lube to the shaft and ears and switch on the rabbit before inserting. She is a bit of a power-freak and we find the high setting better than the various pulsing modes but that's just a matter of taste. IMO there's no wrong and right here, no immorality, no sleeze, nothing to feel dirty or guilty about, just a case of integrating things into our lovemaking we pick and mix, some nights we use a toy or two either as part of our foreplay or on their own some night we just have a good cuddle, talk and laugh. I've never felt in any way threatened by introducing her toys into our lovemaking as, at our age, it just simply isn't possible to be as agile as we both once were and I feel that toys can be a lot of fun and hit some of the spots that penerative sex can't always hit.

Good luck and have lots of fun with your new rabbit, I'm sure you will :), as I said, IMO there's not right or wrong, no immorality involved and absolutely no reason to feel ashamed. I know that you'll find lots of helpful, friendly and knowledgeable folks here, let us know how you get on.

Kind Regards

M4S

8

Silver, as someone who never used rabbit vibrator I got the impression everyone is different, so someone may not even switch the shaft on and just enjoy the ears. Insert the shaft if you want to use it before switching it on, as it does rotate. I think it may be worth trying just the ears on your clitoris in the beginning before trying to insert the shaft, it may let some of the nervousness go. And you would get used to the feeling. And then you can try to put the shaft in and let it be there, getting used to it, while using the ears and then switch it on. This is just an idea what I would do if I found the courage to actually get a rabbit vibrator (dont have one, although I do own several vibrators).

Also I would point out, that not everybody likes rabbit vibrators and that Lovehoney has a great return policy if you dont get along with it. There are other styled vibrators, which may help you get there better if rabbit does not work. Not every toy works for everyone.

9

Hi,

Just a little correction to my previous post, I switch the Rabbit on after inserting it not before as Laveila correctly mentioned it rotates. You can also just use the ears without turning on the rotating shaft as she mentioned.

Kind Regards

M4S

10

First of all, relax. It's your body and it's your right to explore it however you like. Start with just turning on the rabbit and running it over your body - your breasts, your belly, your legs. Get used to how it feels. Use it externally for a while on your labia and clit, and when your body tells you it wants more, then go for it. You can try different positions - on your back, or side, or sitting up.

Listen to your body, do more of what it likes, and you can't really get it wrong!

((Just one wee warning - some women don't really get on well with rabbits, either because the shape doesn't fit them or because they don't like the rotation and clitoral stimulation happening at the same time. If this is the case for you, don't give up! There are many other types of toys, and one (or more!) will be right for you.))

11

OH MY

It's here - my bunny has arrived and I'm shaking like a leaf !

I've put batteries in and yes the controls are easy to use - even for me

I'll be honest - I'm scared - it looks so big , but there again I've given birth so there's plenty of room I know.

helllllllllllllllllllllp and believe it or not I'm getting aroused even now typing this

12

Just relax, take your time, and enjoy it Silver.

There is no wrong or right thing to do, just experiment, and find out what feels good to you. We are all different.

Let us know how you get on :^)

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cant wait to hear what happened next silver ;)

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Keep us informed i wana here all about it

15

OK - still shaky - yeah I'm always a coward with anything new.

Think it's time for lunch and then I'll head off and relax and errr ummm explore for a while

wish me luck folks

16

yes have a good explore, enjoy the toy and do what ever feels right for you

17

Enjoy lunch and good luck Silver! SG

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good luck :^)

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waves to tc, you not showing on line?

20

Take it easy and have fun.