Oral sex help

I need help! I’ve been with my wife for 14 years now, and I love giving her oral sex, however I have never been able to make her orgasm from it. I try to ask her what she likes and feels good to her but never get any feedback from her. She says it feels good but that’s it

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Not being a smart ass here but… how familiar are you with female anatomy? Can you find and play with the clit and can you find and play with the G spot? If you can do both of those there are bigger issues involved. No worries. This message board will help.

No worries. But yes I do not have any problems finding those places. Seems like she can only have an orgasm from deep penetration when I’m inside her. Which is great but would love to be able to get her there in other ways as well.

Ok. We will need a couple of vagina owners to chip in here. Deep penetration for orgasm isn’t one I know about.

Got you @be3169 ! @Joeys86 , not to be crude here, but have you tried fingering her slow and deep while you lick her clit? My orgasms can be quite fickle but, well, my neighbour’s neighbour’s neighbours know when my husband hits me with the finger-tongue combo! I hope it helps! :slight_smile:

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Not so much on the deep end of it with the finger usually just try and hit the g-spot… but will def give it a shot!

Its difficult if you’re not getting much feedback as you’d really need her to say what she likes, same rhythm, dont change it up, change it up and so on.

It can take a woman a good bit of time to warm up with oral, horny with vibrator i can be done in under 5mins or less, horny and oral, it can still take 15 to 20mins, though the whole sensory experience of a warm wet tongue is an enjoyable 20mins so its nice it takes longer.

As a woman its very important to relax and let the orgasm happen, so its not necessarily that you are doing anything wrong.

I always cum from oral but there are times i have to say to myself in my head, hey relax, stop over thinking when its going to happen. If you imagine how you hold your jaw even in this moment and i say soften the jaw, let the lips part slightly, you should notice a difference in a tense/clench and a softer/relaxed feeling, this can be the same for women trying to build up to orgasm, its important to just let go, and try to relax through it.

Introducing a dildo can be nice too as its double sensations.

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For me I stay on clit going side to side and when she gets close I stay in one spot. You have to be patient but you got it

That is so funny. I used to date a woman that was really loud. Single family home so no issue except in summer when she had the windows open given no A/C. Police showed up more than once.

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“I try to ask her what she likes and feels good to her but never get any feedback from her.”

My wife is exactly the same and also finds it difficult to orgasm from oral sex alone so I alternate between my tongue and a bullet or wand. I try to make it so that she comes with my tongue but occasionally I miss.

Either way she appreciates the effort.

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I’ve never been a screamer but I go from this sweet, polite pre-orgasmic good girl that cares that my partner is enjoying themselves, to this post-orgasmic, potty-mouthed sex demon that is going to make damn sure my partner enjoys themselves. Apparently it’s quite a common thing; the shy, conservative types are the ones who normally like to let loose in bed.

Effort is all that matters. Sometimes I just can’t “get there”, no matter how hard hubby tries - it’s frustrating for him and it’s frustrating for me too. Usually it’s an emotional thing, stress, anxiety, something simply weighing on my mind etc. I try not to make mountains out of molehills but it can be embarrassing when I can’t come because I’m worrying about whether I seemed a bit rude to the cashier earlier in the day.

Couple of questions, are you only doing oral sex as part of foreplay? how much effort goes into setting the mood?.

Some women see on oral orgasm as enough in one session, especially if they get very sensitive after orgasm, it may help if she knows that if she has an orgasm that will be it for that session. Also you can set the mood for an oral session, let her have a shower first, lite some candles, give her a relaxing massage, especially around her groin area but not touching labia or clit.

You can then set a time for say 30 minutes, tell her that is oral time, if she comes in that time great if not move to plan b, the idea is to take pressure of her on having to come. You can try doing this weekly, each time you will both learn a little more about each other.

Plan b for us has usually been a vibrator, but for you it sounds like deep penetration.

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@Joeys86
Need more info - personally I love oral but always warm up with a buzz in my knickers while we kiss and he plays with my boobs - this gets me going and soon I’m turned on enough for oral to reach orgasm

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Welcome to the forum sir :slightly_smiling_face:

This thread has some really good tips :ok_hand: