Partners masturbating, do you know how often?

Sex Tips & Talk
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Samantha here. We are both very open about masturbation. I dont do it alot but when I do ill always send him a dirty text or photo afterwards.

Ben masturbates most days. In bed usually before he goes to work if I dont get time to give him a bj.

Yesterday evening he went up for a shower and text me asking me to come up for a quickie. I was baking so couldn’t, so just said give it a good tug and think of me.

I think masturbation is healthy and I have no issues with him doing it. It does effect out sex life as he can go 3 times a day easily.

Occasionally I will ask him to not wank for a while so he can build up a bigger load for me. I do miss big ejaculations.

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22

Totally agree @ben85 masturbation is really healthy. Not sure I have ever managed 3 times a day mind you!!

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23

Samantha, Ben is a lucky guy. Glad that you both are so open with things. That’s a good example of how to stay connected sexually. I should be so lucky. Congratulations.

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24

@Latestr8 I’ll take your word for it as I’ve never had the pleasure. All my sexual activities have been with prostitutes

25

Well, I have never been with a pro. Only can speak of being in relationships. In fact, I have never had a one night stand. I married the first girl I ever dated, and after that divorce, dated two others and married the third one , whom I am still with.

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We have no issue with it, not unknown for one of us to do so in front of the other, not always as part of play but when the need occurred.

More so in the past I’ll admit when I was more insatiable, but age takes it’s toll I suppose and it isn’t as spontaneous as before.

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27

We both know how often we masturbate as we tell each other and often invite the other person to watch.

If we’re apart for any reason (rare nowadays) we set each other masturbation goals for each day.

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28

At least once a day usually

29

Me and my wife masterbate together

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30

My gf always told me she done it not too often when she was married and now doesnt do it all that much really as we have a great sex life, but she still does on the odd occassion, especially if i tell her too as i tell her it will turn me on and she can tell me about it during sex

31

In the past, I always hid the fact that I masturbated from my partners. It felt shameful to me, and I did it a lot anyway. With our newfound sexual awareness between me and my OH, I do not feel as inhibited, though there is still a lot of the old messaging rolling around in my brain, it’s hard to shake. From now on, I am not going to hide it, in fact, might invite her to help, or observe. She knows I am always at her disposal if she wants play time, and I hope she will take advantage of my willingness more often. If I knew she was masturbating having her do it and enjoying her own orgasms is certainly a good thing and I encourage it.

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32

Sorry to hear that and sadly I was right there with you in my 1st marriage.

We had little to no sex and when we did, it wasn’t good, for either of us.

Beyond that, masturbating was “wrong” to my 1st wife.

I may have said this somewhere on here before, but it’s applicable now for this comment too.

She and I were married in 1989 and sometime around late 2001 or early 2002 my 1st wife asked me if I ever masturbated.

Yes, we were both in our mid 30’s, with 3 children, having been married over a decade and my 1st wife thought I’d never masturbated.

She asked me if I had and I told her yes. She was disgusted with me. I can’t remember if she told me I was these things or if masturbating were these things. Either way, it wasn’t good. She said I/it was “gross, wrong, disgusting and not normal”.

She then left in a huff to go upstairs to bed as this was later in the evening and the kids had long been asleep upstairs.

So I definitely hid the fact I masturbated from my 1st wife.

I didn’t know back then that she’d been cheating on me or that our 1st child (we have 3 children together) wasn’t my bio child.

So to her, masturbating was wrong, bad, gross etc. but her having sex with other men was OK.

And it was OK for her to become pregnant and have a child from another man with me not knowing.

That was fine for her. But me masturbating was a bridge too far for her you see.

33

Like pretty much everything else, things are 180 degrees different for me with Miss Heather, compared to my 1st wife.

Miss Heather and I know about our masturbation habits, we do it together sometimes, with each other etc.

34

I doubt my ex wife ever masturbated, and through our 23 years together I never saw her touch her pussy at all, ever. Not to show it to me, not to finger her clit while I penetrated her ( when we began having intercourse, 9 years on ), never. The first time I ever saw a woman touch herself was with my girlfriend, after my divorce. She didn’t masturbate while was with her but would spread her labia when I was giving her oral, which I only did a handful of times in the 3 years we dated. My OH now is not shy about touching herself, though did not mention that she masturbated. I have told her numerous times over the last few weeks how sexy I find it when she touches herself. Getting to the point of mutual masturbation is kind of a crusade for me now.

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35

It’s both sad and scary how similar our paths have been @Latestr8

I may honestly say I highly doubt my ex-wife ever masturbated when we were together. I have no idea since we’ve been divorced, which has been over 20 years now.

I also never saw her touch herself down there either, for herself or to team me anything about herself down there etc.

I honestly do feel for you about all of this. I’ve been there. I can “feel” it when you post as I’ve lived it, walked that same path (many times that you describe and write about).

I’m really happy to hear of the positive changes regarding your sex life recently with your wife.

I wish you both nothing but the best going forward.

36

My wife says she never masturbates ever. She hates me masturbating as well

37

That’s very sad to hear. Does she say why

38

She says it’s wrong and we have enough bedroom fun so shouldn’t need to

39

While it is great that you identify with my struggles, and , really , I have only revealed a few here. It saddens me to think you have lived a parallel experience to me.I wouldn’t wish the trauma either of us has lived through on anyone. I know there are worse situations that are impacting many others. Living through what we have is more about tenacity than luck.
Thank you for your support and kind words. It means so much.

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40

That is unbelievably sad for you both. You are missing a lot of pleasure that can only go to enliven your sex lives.

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