And that’s why chat was stopped. This isn’t a contact site - it’s a moderated forum on a retail website.
Messages along those lines aren’t appropriate. Yes, people could ignore or delete any unwanted contact but providing the facility opens the door to those looking to get their kicks from contacting members rather than using the forums for the purposes intended. You only have to read some of the existing posts that crop up from first time users to wonder if the posts are for gratification purposes rather than genuine questions.
I like things as they are, i have been a member for about 12 years, and never used the direct messaging feature when it was live. We often see people join, especially at weekends and try one to one chat ups with members or think it’s a crude hook up site. Much prefer our members to feel safe, comfortable and able to ask for help or advice, or just have a laugh.
That’s exactly what I’m saying though. I agree with you and make it clear I wasn’t suggesting any if that sort of thing on this forum, I understand the rules.
I was alluding to a totally separate place where people if they so wished could divert to - which is not endorsed by LH.
I know there are sites such as this out there but that wouldn’t work as far as people who have got to know each others quirks on here (as far as is allowable)
But there are those who didn’t and don’t follow the rules. I totally get your suggestion, but the safety and mental wellbeing of our fellow members is foremost in Lovehoney’s mind.
This what worries me. Some on here sound really stuck and even resorting to self harm
Maybe if they had a place to go where they could share pms with people they have been talking to who was interested in talking to them in more detail without restrictions then it might help them.
These are just ideas. And please, I’m not slating LH forum… rules is rules.
I totally understand that it would have its benefits but I’m not keen on the idea that private messages couldn’t be moderated and no doubt individuals would end up rude requests and unwanted messages… dangerous territory!
Unfortunately, part of the reason the no sharing contact details rule came in was because of essentially what you are suggesting. People shared their social media accounts and then had issues with DMs etc on outside sites and then complained to Lovehoney, wanting people reprimanded and even banned from the forum. Saying “it’s done at your own risk” won’t be enough.
There are plenty of other places (Reddit springs to mind) where you can chat privately with people as well as publicly.
Sometimes…especially when a member is in distress or going through a worrying or personal experience only a few have gone through themselves…it’s hard not to fall into the “one to one conversation” with that member when trying to help them or to make them feel that they’re not alone in their situation. Even though anyone can participate. I’m sure this wouldn’t be too much a cause for concern though.
It’s the hook up thing…which would happen and that’s not what the forum is about.
