Hi all been a while since I’ve posted. Recently started seeing someone and things seem to be going well but still early days and seeing where it goes. Both want the same things i.e to find someone to share life with and settle down at some point and enjoy things in life together ect.
One thing I’ve noticed is that they have said to me that they like to maintain physical contact with me in bed during sleep for example; will put their leg/foot so that it is touching or on mine ect. I have no problem with this and actually think it’s quite cute but they always makes a point of saying it before we go to sleep to let me know it’s something they like to do whilst saying they like to know I’m still there. I accept it and make light of it saying I’m not going to just leave in the middle of the night and of which they see the funny side of this and said it’s just one of those things they like to do.
I’ve never experienced something like this before and just wanted peoples views on it. I get a sense they’re feeling some kind of insecurity somewhere and about something…?
It doesn’t sound like a bad thing but maybe they have some fear of being alone?
Could well be a behaviour acquired as the result of something happening to them in the past but maybe they are also hinting they would like you to maintain physical contact in return? It’s the mentioning it every night that’s interesting?
We sleep better when we go to sleep with me spooning my wife from behind with my left hand holding her left breast.
If I wake during the night having turned away from her I always move back so that some part of me is in contact with her.
Sounds like they need reassurance, and because they’re saying it every night, they’re not getting it fully from you yet. Try not making light of it and just cuddle them up instead, see how that works. If you’re the one that makes a point of initiating the closeness, then they might feel more reassured.
There’s going to be a reason behind it, and it sounds like it’s a story you’re going to need to hear to understand them a bit more.
I slept on my own for a bit when I separated from my ex wife. When I started sleeping with my partner she was the same always wanting to sleep touching me (she used to sleep holding my balls) and now we always sleep with some form of physical contact, legs, feet or one of us spooning the other. At first I found it a bit unusual but I’ve grown to love it.
I had a double bed, we kept that same bed for 5 years now, we often discuss getting a king-size bed but always come back to the same conclusion, we don’t need one as we like to sleep so close to each other.
I don’t know if it’s a sense of comfort or security but it works for us. I wouldn’t have it any other way now.
I would say absolutely normal in terms of wanting the physical contact, although I’d be a little more curious around them making the reference every night.
Both sound like they might be based on past experiences, maybe their need for physical contact through night was previously rejected or mocked, which might give reason for the repeated reassurance that it is ‘OK’.
Likewise, the need for the physical contact could be about anything, reassurance, just knowing you’re there, security and such like.
I think if I was in your position, I’d be curious enough to ask some questions around what it means, just in a way of reassuring them it is OK, and wonder why they feel the need to check each time that it is?
It may well be just something they like to do, but there’ll be a reason behind it - person you’re seeing may not actually be consciously aware of what that reason is mind, the main thing is just letting them know it’s OK and they don’t have to check each time round.
Hi I am simply no touch if I go to sleep I go sleep , my Mrs always is asleep before me but she dies like holding hands if I need to go the loo ( it’s my age ) it wakes her up then we are back to starting point again. I have lived on my own for 8 yrs before getting together and enjoyed my space to I think that’s where came from an big empty bed to myself .
I love physical contact during night time.
I’ve never really thought too much into it before, but for me - it’s just the perfect opportunity to remain close to my husband.
Nothing has ever happened to make me feel this way - we both just like being in contact with each other as we sleep.
And both of us find it very strange when on a rare occasion, we have to sleep without each other.
We are usually spooning, or have our legs wrapped around each other 
I would bring up the conversation sometime - when you are relaxing at home together but not in bed.
Begin the conversation by telling your partner how much you enjoy the physical contact in bed and why you like it.
Then hopefully they will open up to you about what theu enjoy about it too. Then will be the perfect time to ask any other questions that are on your mind x
Im often first to fall asleep, but will always put a hand on my wife as i fall asleep
I am kind of a roll over stay out my space sleeper, but hubby will often need some connection. Sometimes just a butt cheek to butt cheek or the back of his hand in the small of my back. He says it calms him and helps him sleep, bit like stroking a blankie as a kid I guess.
Maybe insecurity, but nothing wrong with that.
I absolutely require physical contact at night. Before I had intimate partners I slept next to my sister even as a teenager and into my 20’s. Now I sleep sandwiched between partners.
We are both exactly the same as she is although it is not something we ever planned or either of us needed. We just enjoy the closeness and intimacy of being together even if it only the slightest contact, as long as we have skin on skin we are comfortable together.
The security side of it doesn’t come into it for us though and this may need exploring with her 
Me and the wife will always make contact.
This will either be a spoon, the spooning position but a bit further apart, holding hands or my fav is just to have my hand holding the side of her knickers- don’t know why, it’s just sexy.
All of this is season depending as soon in the summer it’s far too hot to spoon.
Hubby has started this, to the point where I normally end up on the edge of the bed as he keeps snuggling closer and closer.
My wife says this too, often wonder why she doesnt get out and in “my” side but then i guess id cuddle the other way
Tried that he does.
He is always cold I am always hot so in winter I think its a heat seaking thing.
Im very much a contact person in bed… we both sleep naked and i just love the feel of her naked skin against me.
We usually go to sleep with me holding a boob or if spooning, my free hand between her thighs with thumb pressed against her clit. OH also feels its just where my hand should be. We wake up spread about , but generally go to sleep this way.
@Miss_Pussycat Nothing wrong with a little heat seeking 
I crave the warmth a lot of the time, so I always sleep in the middle. One of my partners feels too hot a lot of the time, so she prefers the edge. She’ll cuddle for a while, then slink away a bit. I’ve tried the edge a couple of times, but I wake up cold and end up climbing over my husband to squeeze between him and GF. For some reason, I also like the pressure of being squeezed. Comforting somehow.
I will say as a previously cis hetero male (now Non-Binary), my “rules” on physical contact in my sleep have stayed the same.
If I wake up with my arms around/and or back/feet touching etc., It means to me, that subconsciously in my sleep I want to be closer to them. If I wake up falling off the bed and nowhere near them it means the opposite.
This happens with my current GF as well. In both directions. If I’m upset with her or she is with me when we go to sleep. We both do the exact same thing. Separate even if we went to sleep holding each other.
If we wake up holding each other, even if we didn’t go to sleep that way. It means we’ve both overcome the separation desire and want to be expressive of that. Even in our sleep.
We’ve spoken at length about this and how we find it funny. That being said. She’s the only one I’ve ever wanted to touch while going to sleep or in my sleep. Regardless of frustration.
She’s my it. And she feels I’m hers.
I’ve never had this feeling before or this behavior before.
To put this into perhaps a more clear perspective for a while at my GFs encouragement and insistence she had me date another woman (and the other woman made it clear she wanted me to stay over), so I did when I was seeing her on those designated nights of the week.
Why am I telling you this other than to brag? The other GF was the needy/clingy type and I would always wake up hanging off a California King mattress and she would still be all over me and it drove me nuts.
All I can say with regard to your partner is maybe they are trying to explain why they want to touch you in your sleep, and maybe that’s why they comment on it.
Or maybe like me, it’s a shock to them because it isn’t a common feeling for them and they don’t know what to think of it yet and are trying to make sure that it doesn’t bother you (more likely hopping you like it and comment as such), before they express their feelings.
I would take it more as an indication that they are serious about wanting you to know they want to be with you. Without being comfortable of telling you that, and are trying to show it instead.
Until they get the reassurance that it’s also what you want before they can tell you directly, (and they might not even be aware they are struggling trying to tell you this.) But might be “showing and not telling,” because they don’t fully understand what it means for them, or they aren’t even aware of why they feel the desire like I wasn’t at first with my GF.
That’s what it meant for me with my GF and it was actually initially disturbing because I’ve always been the completely openly honestly detached party until I found the right girl.
I was insecure about it at first if I’m being honest, because I had never “fallen,” for a girl. And fell so hard for my GF it was a source of unease for me until she told me that she felt the same way.
I’m not sure of your partners past experiences. But it might be a good idea to hint around the next time they “bring it up, before doing it,” to ask if they always do this or “Am I just special?” type of wording to break the ice.
Hopefully this will help you figure out if it’s habitual with all partners- which might indicate a clingy/insecurity thing.
If it’s a new thing, meaning they are probably like I was when I found my GF and knew she was the one. This could either be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you feel about them.
Or if it’s a complex you discover they have that’s a subtle indicator of a controlling type of personality/relationship if you find out it only started after…“X person did this thing and then I did this to make sure, that…”
If you feel that is the case, Maybe you’ll feel the need to put the caution hat on so you aren’t blindsided by a problem relationship starting to blossom in front of your eyes because both of you aren’t comfortable addressing either the action nor the reasons/intentions behind it.
I hope this has given you a few viewpoints to consider and maybe helped prompt you to figure out;
If you’re just tolerating it because they like it.
If you like it because you like it.
If you like it because they like it.
Or if you don’t like it and it’s something you would rather address later. If you aren’t comfortable addressing it now.
If it were me. I would get the information I needed to decide before I had invested a lot of time into the relationship. I would just do it gently and indirectly.
Let us know how it’s going, but from what I have heard you say so far I think the partner is just nervous about how much they like you and are trying to take your “relationship temperature,” and is just doing it in an awkward fashion.