Hello,
My partner and I recently had a chat about our sex life where she confessed she really struggles to communicate/verbalise about the following;
I want to keep it fun and lighthearted (ideally) and wondered if anyone had any fun suggestions? Tips/tricks etc
Cheers,
Sharps
Sorry to hear that. A lot of people struggle to start with things like that even my OH was a little shy and not very forthcoming to start, but that was a long time ago and you wouldn’t believe it now 
. It may sound like a silly suggestion but something we have used when little ears are around so as not to traumatise them, but change the names of things and make it less ‘sexual’ for example if she’s horny and fancy’s a little bit of you, rather than “I want you inside me now!” Change it to “I’m quite hungry this evening and craving some pudding!” Or “I’m dripping wet and need you to eat my pussy till I cum” try “looks like it’s a bit wet outside maybe we should go snorkelling!”
If that’s not for you try messaging each other as sometimes as we have found it’s easier to type things out rather than say it!
If nothing else it will give you a giggle and creat a more relaxed atmosphere which in turn will help as well 
Another thing we have tried since someone else mentioned it on here recently is an app , which is available for iOS and Android called spicer. It is brilliant and free unless you want the extra packs which we are yet to purchase. It basically gives you a load of questions from tame to downright naughty! All you have to do is both download it and answer the questions, yes, no or maybe, and if you match with your partner you can chat about it in the app and then try them out if you so desire! It also gives you the opportunity to set dates for each other and every 24 hrs it gives you a challenge to complete out if the things you have matched on! It’s certainly given us a few new things to talk about and we’ve been at it since the dawn of time
I hope you figure something out
I think many people struggle with this, it really is down to not being afraid of saying things the partner does not want to hear. By being open with each other means not being judgemental / critical of things and keeping an open mind.
These are very normal struggles for people, she’s not alone! I’d suggest she gives journaling a try. This is a practice some people exploring D/s do when they’re new - the journal can be for her eyes only or in a shared space like a google doc that you could read as well. She could add to it when she feels like, she could follow prompts or just jot down what comes to mind. Some topics she could explore could be what are her turn ons or offs, what kinks would she like to try or is she curious about, what are her boundaries, etc. It’s a good way to practice putting thoughts on sexuality into words in a safe space. When she has practiced developing her language around sex and attraction she can move to verbalizing it with you.
When you say communicate, does that include written word also?
I find it a lot easier to communicate these things through messages, or did when I was with partner.
Once the ice was broken, it was easier via verbal coms, but I always find I could express myself better that way without feeling as awkward.
Other than that, as @G_and_S mentioned, there’s ways of simplifying way talk about it or apps designed to explore interests between people.
Maybe do some prompt cards so she can secretly leave around in places to find what tell you how her mood is so you can then initiate to her desires 
It’s equally fun and informative for you and helps her vocalise without the need to feel awkward or anything 
No suggestions unfortunately but really interested to hear other replies on this one. Texting sometimes helps but I find it’s always me that initiates that.
Well done on managing to discuss it in the first place. Better communication is often the answer to most issues but not always easy to start the discussion off with something like this.
So I often struggle to communicate my wants and desires. Mostly due to fear of rejection but also because sometimes I find it difficult to explain what it is I want. Sometimes it takes me a few attempts to acutely explain what I’m on about. I’ve found being part of this forum really helpful as I’ve found new ways to explain things, I’m also more confident and comfortable.
Its really good that you’re asking for help with this and want to help her come out of her shell and be nore confident saying what she wants. She might not even know herself.
Growing up, sex was always aimed at men and how to please a man etc women weren’t to enjoy sex or it made them 'bad women", men don’t want a woman that is sexual, blah blah blah It is so incredibly good when you realised that is all bullshit. Its the madonna and the whore, and its not in the past. Thats me being presumptuous, that might be nothing to do with it.
Try the spicer app or google carnal calibration, I live any sort of quiz for couples as its a really good learning moment and gives an opportunity for conversation. Texting is also great for when you can’t speak the words.
I have same problem.
Will try that 
I would share the link to spicer but pretty sure it would be frowned upon in here
One suggestion we tried was to have a visual meter to indicate libido levels.
We used some sticky pictures in two columns on the mirror that could be moved up and down to show where it was no go (lowest point), neutral (mid point), could be persuaded (between mid point and highest point) and good to go (highest point). It let us see where there was a match and when to back off.
Along the lines of @FindingLibido - how about sticky notes with un-related doodles stuck in a certain place? E.g. a big smiley face stuck on the bathroom mirror is a good to go for full sex, a winky face if up for a bit of fun, devils horns for kinky stuff? You could also use texts with emojis?
Obviously youd need to work out a guide for them, but this way you’d only have to vocalise things the once, and could rely on non verbal notes after it?
Wow some fantastic suggestions here. Thank you guys really appreciated.
We have tried being flirty over texts in the past but I think she also finds that a bit awkward. However prompt cards or an app could really be helpful.
I also really like the idea of her writing things down (as suggested) in a journal of her turn ons/offs because sadly I really don’t know what her main turn ons are other than be relaxed and stress free - or maybe that is a turn on lol I have tried to ask/give suggestions etc on what they are but she does struggle to communicate hence this post
Just need to pluck the courage to discuss this openly with her when she is relaxed, which is only ever on the weekend, and this weekend and next we are at the in laws which couldn’t be a bigger turn off for both of us
Thanks again all, much appreciated and have a great weekend!!!
Just a little advice again, it’s usually a lot easier to talk about things like this outside of the bedroom eg on a drive idle walk
Is your partner comfy communicating about other things or is it only specifically about sex that she struggles?
Interesting G@S… my thoughts would be to have the conversation in the bedroom when being playful etc but perhaps in a quite moment it could work well.
We both are guilty of not expressing ourselves entirely (outside of sex) but we do communicate a lot about other things in our relationship and she has no issues expressing how she feels or what we can do to improve matters.
It is frustrating though she can express herself verbally (and does extremely well in a discussion that’s another story) on non-sex topics and isn’t afraid to share her opinion. However when it comes to sex she says she can’t find the words or ways to express herself.
I think the app suggestion and after a quick review of what it entails will really help matters. She doesn’t have to write things down or say anything but simply answer yes and no
The app is brilliant I think we’re going to get the yearly subscription it’s actually given us a good laugh and given some great suggestions! You can even set your mood I had a nice little notification the other day saying the OH was in the mood
My husband and I downloaded the spicer app and it totally illuminated our shyness as we could send each other little messages and match up our likes/ dislikes. We hadn’t even discussed half of what we’ve done before spicer came about.