Not really a rant, but very annoying: my phone has now got so used to my incorrect spelling due to being dyslexic (I think) that it now accepts these as real words and sometimes even auto corrects to the wrong spelling. So, if you keep seeing posts with words like “tge” instead of the and “aer” instead of “are” you know what I mean! I have to check every post at least twice. 
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I post stuff like that cos i have a clumsy thumb! 
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Yea, that doesn’t help!
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Responses welcome, but not required. I feel awkward asking for no responses to a public post. Sometimes when you read a post, you just HAVE to say something. If not, it could end up being the next post on this thread. So absolutely feel free to respond if you need/want 
Here it is: My dogs. I don’t like them. At least not all the time. Sometimes they’re great, other times I wish they’d teleport to another dimension and return my wife gets home from work.
Technically they’re not my dogs. OH wanted them and they’re really her dogs. We agreed if she took care of them that I’d be more than ok with her getting them. Even though they cost a pretty penny, she did a phenomenal job with our last dog so I had no reason to think it would be different this time.
I do help out with them. I don’t have the “not my dogs, not my problem” attitude. I’ll clean their bathroom accidents, the puke, the toys they leave everywhere, sweep their dust bunnies of fur off the floor, feed & water them, and maybe other things. I did mind more in the beginning, but now I don’t really mind nearly as much.
The problem is they’re both super energetic puppies at approx six months old. OH had planned to have them trained in a few specific areas by 8 weeks. Technically that’s really 16 weeks because they aren’t weened from mommy yet till 8 weeks.
As they’re of pure bred pedigree, OH has very, very specific training plans and does not at all want any of the rest of the family to train them in any way shape or form. If they’re chewing the house down, she dowsn’t want us to correct them because it would ruin her training regiment.
If I’m being honest, OH did fix some of that and gave us ways we can stop them from doing entirely reckless stuff while OH is at work. The battles I had to go through just to get the ‘ok’ for that though, sheesh.
Anyway, fast forward till now. They are between 6-8 months old. One barks and barks and barks and barks. I blink? He barks. The back yard exists? He barks. It’s Friday? He barks. It is nearly intolerable.
The problem isn’t actually so much that he’s barking, it’s one of the two tones that he uses when he barks. He has a more high pitched tone is when he’s barking at nothing (yes, literally nothing). That particular tone literally shakes the insides of my head. It is the most irritating obnoxious thing in my life right now. It literally causes an involuntary reflex that if he was closer when he did it I’d probably be PETA’s #1 enemy.
He does have a deeper “real dog” bark that he uses when there is actually something to bark at. If someone is at the door, the tone he uses for that is almost exactly the kind you would ever hope and dream that your dog would have. Not rattling your brain and also so much more intimidating so as to dissuade the not-so-friendly types from trying anything crazy.
That second bark is rarely heard though. As soon as I hear the “nothing” bark I go to look outside and there is nothing. No birds, no cats, no people, no wind. Just nothing. And if I can’t stand the sound of my own dog, I KNOW my neighbors can’t stand it.
Problem is OH doesn’t want any of us to take corrective action. So I literally sit in misery until it’s their bed time and I can put them in their kennels until OH gets home and lets them out for a potty break.
Today I caught myself making very rude comments about the dogs in front of my son. The way he looked at me after I said the most recent thing cut my heart. That’s when I realized I seriously need to have a tallk with OH.
It’s getting to the point where something needs to happen with the dogs. If she doesn’t do something, or doesn’t at least show us how she wants the dogs to be trained not to bark, I’m probably going to outright ‘Dexter’ him. I focus on the male because the female is silent and only gets noisy when they play rough with each other.
I’m dreading the conversation because we’ve had it a few times before. And not at all to drag OH’s name through the mud. It’s not like she’s neglecting the dogs, I think she’s just not got the time to properly manage them.
OH is an “A” type personality that will just take whatever task is on her list, crush it, and move onto the next. But this year, she has a full time job like I do, she also monitors homeschooling for our son during the day and she also wants to train the dogs.
I haven’t ever seen her take on too much before so this is admittedly new territory for me in our almost 12 years of marriage. This time I think she’s overwhelmed and I don’t know if she even realizes it yet.
But I can’t have an environment where I literally want to end my dog every few minutes. Especially since my emotions about it are verbally overflowing out of the bottle, and now affecting my son in that he’s witnessing it.
So end of rant. Again, please feel free to respond if you want to or need to. I won’t say not to respond but I also am not asking you to.
The ugly part is I don’t even really feel much better like I thought I would after typing all this. I guess it does help in some ways to be able to express this. Thanks for being my blank sheet of paper LH! 
Edit: F–k I feel like a whiny b–ch. Scroll up a bit and see some really real life stuff going on. So sorry @MsR. Almost would delete this post but I think it shows that someone’s always got it worse.
I don’t recall who it was, but whoever it was that might read this post and think “He told me the exact opposite just a couple days ago!” I apologize lol
And I still think I was right about what I said, but having the two opposites so close together I think is what makes this feel more awkward. It’s about timing.
You need a strong honest conversation with your wife to get the dogs trained properly, it’s not fair on you, and neither is it fair that the dog’s behaviour is making you hate them, it’s not their fault. I have always had rescue dogs, and have never had a problem with their behaviour, other than getting them used to trusting humans again. Please for all your sakes, get them trained by a reputable trainer.
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Yes you are right to be angry. It’s double standards on their part. Your husband needs to tell them in no uncertain terms, that how you earn a living is your business and that he backs you all the way. Easier said than done i know. You brother in law’s mate should have kept his gob shut.
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Double standards at their finest… you be you and to hell with what they think. Does your webcam affect your ability to be a caring and compassionate person? Are you a different person today than you were before they found out? Bloody ridiculous!
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Good for him.
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Exactly this. Workmate is a s**t stirrer and in-laws are rather small minded sad people. Do what you do nothing wrong with that. Keep seeing your father in law and if they have issues tell them to keep away when you are going around. Keep your head up and stay happy
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You’re absolutely right to be pissed off @Justthe2ofus2007. I’m sure this is the last thing your family needs at this time of grief.
It’s no one else’s business what you do but sadly some people think they’ve a god given right to interfere.
This is the reason I don’t show my face on cam unless it’s in a private chat with someone, I wouldn’t want my family to start passing judgement on me if I was recognised. No one has right to keep you away from any member of your family, this mate of your brother in law should have kept his nose out of it and said nothing.
None of this makes you a bad person and people who are happy to watch web cammers but then slag them off as prostitutes are massive hypocrites.
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That’s really unfair of them @Justthe2ofus2007, so sorry to hear that. Sending lots of hugs 
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@anon8189768 I used to run a dog group. I will get back to you with the name of a great online trainer. In the meantime, tire the dogs out with a walk in the morning - no point doing it later. Don’t punish them for getting over excited, just pop them in their crate or bed with a chew for a quiet 5 mins - time out, not a punishment. Don’t use any methods which are based on scaring them - use rewards instead. Try to do some of the homeschooling yourself so that it isn’t falling to your OH.
More later…
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@anon8189768
Try The Complete Canine Online on Facebook and Instagram 
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There is a window of opportunity to train puppies age 8 weeks onwards.
Then you will have to do it all again when they hit adolescence (up to a year?)
A lot depends on the breed / cross - what sort of dogs are they?
Most can master the basics. Sighthounds and lurchers may have a strong prey drive and issues with recall - keep those on a lead unless they are in a safe and enclosed space.
In terms of chewing - use distraction. An antler or squeaky toy to divert their attention.
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I want to lash out with unpleasant feelings. Absolutely not at you @Justthe2ofus2007, but the fact that anyone could make another person feel that way. I’m so sorry you even have to go through this. Ugh.
I’m stuffing my feelings in a box for a moment so I can reply to this without going off on angry rants. Ok. here it goes.
Now that it’s been a few minutes without having my upset feelings try to dictate what my fingers do here on the keyboard, I will admit that I’m very sexually open to a lot. I do think there are some who really are not.
But regardless of what anyone saw on the internet, you deserve to tell your side of the story. You’re family after all, and ESPECIALLY with that fact you deserve the benefit of the doubt. At least you deserve to be heard before being just blocked and ‘kicked out’ of the family. I find the reaction to be unbelievable.
I think it’s good that nobody is visiting you before Sunday. As much as I know I’d not be feeling this advice myself, it’s wise to have time to let things cool (if at all possible) before having discussions like the one that’s about to come up this weekend.
As this is a highly emotional situation as well, I recommend making a written list of things you want to say and talk about. Also recommend a list of questions you want to ask.
If you’re anything like me, I know I need 7 things when I go to the supermarket. But as soon as I walk through the doors of the store, I immediately forget 5 out of the 7 items.
So that’s about all I got for now. I just kinda got a mental block that came out of nowhere. I sincerely feel I’m doing horrible for thoughts right now. Will definitely reply with more when my brain gets food or whatever it needs 
I do wish you the best @Justthe2ofus2007. Good luck!
@WillC: I humble myself and yet I respectfully, and at least partly disagree. Yes, nobody needs to be blabbing other people’s business to other people. On the flip side though, I don’t know their intent. If my wife was running a cam show and I didn’t know about it, I’d want someone to tell me. If the person making the initial discovery had honest intentions, then I could maybe understand.
With that, I don’t know who all knows who, and who knows what, and what the intentions were. If he was just being a jerk then definitely your statement is right on. But if at all it’s possible his intentions came from a caring heart, then I sympathize. Now how the family reacted, imo, is entirely inappropriate and I hope it can be resolved before bridges get burned and hard feelings get solidified.
Again I wish the best for @Justthe2ofus2007 and OH 
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@anon8189768 - Agreed. It seems like a snap decision on the family’s part before they have heard the whole story. Like they burnt a bridge with their own ignorance and probably assuming all kinds of things. As you said, they may have reacted with initial shock and little understanding? Hopefully some conversation can help.
I think it’s one of those “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” situations with telling someone. If my friend seen my partner was doing something and didn’t tell me about it, and then I found out later they knew all that time, do you think I’d be mad? Of course I would. But if they told me right off the bat, then at least they didn’t hide it. However, they have then got involved in an issue that wasn’t technically their business - potentially dropping a bomb on the relationship even though it’s come from a place of trying to be a good friend. It’s a tough one. 
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@MsR I’m so sorry this took so long to reply. Firstly, thank you for the advice and information (same to @WillC). Second, here is the answer to some of the questions:
We have two pure bred German Sheperds. One boy and one girl. From different family lineages as we plan to breed them around 2yrs old. Cost a few thousand each and the male’s dad was a prize winning show-dog. Absolutely do not want to do any shows lol
As far as chewing, they aren’t bad. They do get into all kinds of stuff but nothing that actually matters. Only one spot on the house that they ever went after and we’ve been watching and they haven’t touched again. Otherwise we pay enough attention that if they get a dirty sock or anything else they aren’t suppose to have we’re able to quickly get it away.
@MsR and @WillC: I don’t actually hate the dogs. I know the post says I do, and at the time I wrote it, that was a very sincere and honest emotion. Last night was a never ending barkfest that not only pushed me over the edge emotionally, but kept pushing me farther down even after I had already hit the ground.
I don’t see the dogs walking by and think “I hate those dogs!” But it was unbearable when they’d bark and I had no recourse. I say “was unbearable” because I had the talk this morning with OH. She showed me a technique that is “OH approved” to stop him from barking.
She actually had a pro trainer stop by a few days ago and they took the dogs for a walk. The male that used to strain the leash, and bark at literally everything all around the block, now pretty much heels and doesn’t bark at all and that was only after 2 lessons. Guess that explains why we paid that trainer $300 for just a couple hours of work lol
I thought he was just coming over to train the dogs to heel and some basic stuff. Apparently he showed OH how to get him to stop barking. Yeah 
So apparently OH knew how to make him stop for a couple days already lol
After seeing the dogs this morning on their walk with OH, they are literally like brand new dogs. Super smart. Glad I decided not to ‘Dexter’ them. Would have been a more awkward conversation with OH 
So in general I actually enjoy their company. I also enjoy playing with them. They are even sweet enough that between them and OH, they got me to overturn my “they’ll never be on the bed” rule. Though they still do not sleep with us at night. They’re not that cute 
Anyway, thanks again for your thoughts and advice. Also for letting me vent. Much appreciated
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I’m glad that @Justthe2ofus2007 and OH did stuff together on her site (least I feel like I read that) so I feel more at liberty to say this here on this thread:
I’m personally of the opinion that if my OH was hiding doing a webcam show, and anybody at all told me about it, then the person who told me did not at all drop the bomb, OH did when she decided to do that behind my back.
But I also understand that stuff is kinda sensitive and tricky and that everybody probably has their own preference on what they’d prefer to happen.
About 19 years ago I had a good friend that confided in (or confessed) to me that he had a one-time affair with a woman from work. I didn’t tell his wife but I strongly encouraged him to do so. He did from what I hear. Unfortunately I also heard that they separated.
I had the chance about 11 years later to give him a call. I wanted to call just to catch up and see how he’s doing. Unfortunately I ended up chickening out. I was afraid he’d be bitter against me for encouraging him to confess. Though I don’t know how someone could hold on to that amount of guilt and be ok. That would probably crush me and eat at me to the point of physical death if I ever cheated and tried to hide it.
So back to the topic, I guess different circumstances would in fact affect how I handle it. Would depend on a large number of factors and each situation would be different.
One day I’ll figure out how to not write walls of text in each reply 
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Absolutely small minded and extremely rude them to behaviour like that. You are not hurting anyone, even if you were selling sex, as long as no one is getting hurt then there’s nothing wrong with that. Once they realised your husband knows about and is okay with it they should have dropped the subject, especially at what must already be a very difficult time for you all.
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I disagree, he’s nothing to do with the family and was using the site himself. I had a colleague of my wife, who’d only met me once, tell her she’d seen me out with another woman at a pub when i was working a 2pm to 10pm shift. Fortunately at the time, my father in law was my supervisor and could vouch that i was actually at work. It turned out it was my then single brother out with his girlfriend. Can you imagine the grief it would have caused me if i couldn’t prove i was actually at work? So sometimes it’s better to say nothing, especially in the case of @Justthe2ofus2007 as the guy is a hypocrite if he’s using the site.
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