Thats exactly how my current job works, im contracted to 36 hours, i have to do the 36 hours before i get paid any over time rates
Yes, there were too many people doing overtime Monday then having Friday off for example!
@SteelA1 mate I agree with you been doing my current job and travel the length and breadth of the uk and thing it’s one of the worse thing anyone can do be late so rude, I really do emphasise with you mate been there and totally get your feeling and thoughts mate ensure you take care of yourself mate from time to time ![]()
@Cupc8kes as much as I would really enjoy some sex right about now, or at the very least to sit and have an enjoyable evening with someone who is actually attracted to me and wants to be in my company (and is sexy as anything) I think I can safely say I won’t be doing anything about it! I’ve never cheated on the oh, she constantly accuses me of it though! But she’s wrong!
I did go to a couples house once and watched them have sex! I know that’s not exactly ok with the oh not knowing but I’ve never cheated on her!
Lord knows I would love to spend some time with this woman! Her voice is so calming it’s untrue! She’s just generally a really nice lady, inside and out!
I’m happy with the attention but at the same time I’m upset! ![]()
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@SteelA1
I was thinking you would feel this way.
You deserve to be happy you know - if your relationship isn’t working then you don’t need to stay trapped and unhappy, there’s someone out there for you who could potentially change your life and make you a whole new man.
No harm in maybe having a drink with the lady (just as a friend for now) and getting to know her a little?
No harm?
I think there might be some harm when his wife finds out. ![]()
I guess people will have different views on this, on where you can draw the line.
I’m not suggesting any type of cheating at all.
But having a drink with a person of the opposite sex is not cheating.
I just want to stress to @SteelA1 that just because he’s married, it doesn’t have to stay that way if he’s not being treated well or if it isn’t working or making him happy.
She accuses him of cheating - she could be doing it herself!!
Organising a coffee date to set up a ‘maybe’ possible future relationship is pretty dodgy on the scale of things one can do behind a partner’s back. Unless you’re suggesting he consults his wife first to get her thoughts on it?
If that’s the case then they should probably sort that out before embarking on something new. Seems like the decent thing to do.
100% what I would do if I was in this position.
When married and with kids - this can feel like an extremely big step, with ‘what ifs’ and feeling unsure.
But a times, we must be a bit selfish and think about our own personal happiness - it just has to be done if the relationship has truly run its course.
I think there’s a way of doing that without being a dick. Scouting out future prospects to soften your exit, while your partner is oblivious at home looking after the kids and sorting out all the domestic stuff, would firmly put you in that category.
Personally i would never go for a drinknor anything alone with another woman it would jusy not feel right for me and a drink could very easily lead to other things, if there was a couple of people going out it wouldnt be ao bad but alone with another women. I do not think my wife would be very happy with me if she found out, even if it was just a harmless drink.
I certianly wouldnt be happy to find out my wife has gone for a drink with another man. No matter how innocdnt she told me it was…
Juat my few cents worth
I get where you are coming from.
From previous posts - @SteelA1 seems to be in quite an unloving, unfulfilling marriage where him and his wife aren’t as happy as they deserve to be.
Having a drink (nothing else) with somebody else, could actually help him to decide how he feels about his marriage and what he really wants in life to make him happy.
Or it may help him to recognise that there’s things he can maybe do to rebuild his marriage with his wife.
Or he could realise that there is more to life than working constantly and not having any time for enjoyments so he wants to make some changes to his life in whichever way her chooses.
It doesn’t mean he’s cheating.
Events and experiences happen in life - none of us are perfect. But these experiences help us to grow mentally, to be strong, to be sure of what we want, to stand up for ourselves and to find true happiness…and that is what life is all about!!
I think there are far less damaging ways to reflect on your life and relationships.
I think encouraging people to go on secret dates to get a better sense of how they feel about their marriage is pretty poor advice.
@Ian_Chimp
I feel like you’re taking this the wrong way and way out of context.
I am not talking about going out dating, if you were dating then you would be prepared to do all sorts and be putting in a real effort to impress - wanting it to lead elsewhere.
If this isn’t cheating - then neither is having a quiet, relaxed, innocent drink or 2 with another person for crying out loud.
We’ve talked about this on a previous thread and we discussed how everyone has their own interpretation on what is actually cheating and what isn’t - how far is too far.
My whole marriage would end if my husband fucked another person without me knowing.
On the other hand, if he met someone just for a drink - I’m hardly going to call for a divorce.
It would open up a conversation and we could discuss our marriage, what is going wrong and whether we can work it out together.
Can you not just skip the bit where you wine and dine other people, and just have that conversation anyway?
In an ideal world - this is how it should happen yes.
Glad to agree on that ![]()
Sorry @SteelA1 for maybe taking your post too far - I just want people to be happy in their lives and do what is right.
Don’t get old and be full of regrets - life is for living dude x
@Cupc8kes & @Ian_Chimp i have read what you’ve both said but I’m so sorry I’ve not had chance to really sit for more than 10 mins to reply properly! Not sure what time I’ll be gone yet but I’ll make sure I read through it all again and reply ![]()
No worries.
Though I was commenting more on the soundness of the advice rather than your marriage in particular. ![]()
you guys need to open another topic - this one is meant to cheer us up (originally on the chher me up topic)
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@Cupc8kes would yourself or @Ian_Chimp be offended if I replied tomorrow? I’m absolutely beat ![]()