Oh @Adventurer_1992 I really do get where you’re coming from! It’s so hard to say no when it’s all meant with the best of intentions isn’t it?
We have had some similar experiences over the years with parents trying to offload stuff on to us. In some cases it felt like they were palming off old junk so it saved them the trouble of a tip run!
We accepted it because they made hard to say no, we felt a bit ungrateful to be honest but the result was we ended up with a load of stuff that years down the line WE had to take to the tip instead! If anyone came round and said “Oh where’s such and such?” we told them that it broke and we had to throw it out
I’d say maybe accept some of it, some it might actually help you out in the meantime but graciously say no thanks to other bits that you really won’t ever use. That way no one should take offence.
It sounds like they’re just trying to help and its great that your future in laws love you so much
@Cupc8kes thank you - yeah I think I should maybe sY yes to a few things to show my appreciation. Thanks for the suggestions the way you put it it sounds a nicer way of politely declining
@Ian_Chimp thanks yeah I think I need to be realistic and maybe give in to a few items. I just want to make sure that we don’t end up hoarding items we won’t be using or will be replacing sooner than later. The table from the Grandma’s we have now decided we will wait until we move in to figure out how it will go with our furniture and rooms
@KinkyMira oh the nutribullet wasn’t that good? I will have to look more into it then thanks yeah with the air fryer we have one at my parents place and I have used it for quite a few things so thought I’d copy my parents
@Mrs.John yes at the end of the day it’s all love and we have a good support system
@wildflower haha yes sometimes it feels like we’re being offered items to avoid the reduce the amount of items they have hoarded over the years I like that the in laws are just looking out for us - but yeah like you suggested I also want to make sure that I don’t say yes to too many things and I end up hoarding them myself in the new place
@Adventurer_1992 Ah cool, as long as you know what you’re getting with the air fryer, that’s fine. The nutribullet wasn’t good for us. I think if all you want is smoothies, it might be OK, but we wanted to blend all sorts of stuff and it just didn’t do a good enough job. For the price (given they aren’t cheap), I was expecting better.
Mega mega angry the tech in my house and the people who use total lack of respect for what I have bought I am so fooking angry it’s in real I pad Air bent and can’t be restarted crashed during up dates. Laptop bought beginning lock down screen smashed by the same person Mrs just shown me something on her I pad screen cracked ( been done ages ???) no it fooking hasn’t, I so pissed it’s unreal and will not be repairing anything anytime soon! My last 3 phones have never been scratched or damaged in the past 6 years mmmm why’s that because I look after it
I think you’re doing the right thing by not replacing them, the only way to make people appreciate and look after things. Sometimes it’s easy come, easy go.
Like you i have never cracked a screen, as soon as i get a new device i get a cheap cover/case off ebay.
I go through at least 5 phone screens a year Crack in my pocket, dropped off the scaff! All sorts, I payed for it though and pay to fix it! I go also pay for all the other stuff in the house and this gets my goat up too, big time
For the past few months, my mum has been so judgemental about my stomach showing when I’m wearing clothes outside of the house. I’m not wearing crop tops or anything, if I wear a higher top than usual my mum’s face will wrinkle in disgust and say “are you really going to wear that?” Which has knocked my confidence so much. I’m going to be getting new clothes in a few days and I’m going to try a body suit. It’s like a bathing costume but you wear it with pants to make it look like you have your shirt tucked in but there’s no hassle of making sure your shirt is always tucked in. I have always been a fan of this look but I just know my mum is going to hate it. How can I stand up to her and say this is my body and stuff? I think I don’t even look that big but then my mum makes it out like I am a whale. I am a size 18, 5 ft 1, with a pear shaped body for context.
As I always used to say to the wife - to get a beach body you need two things. A beach and a body.
People who ridicule or comment on what someone larger than themselves is wearing often do so through a lack of self confidence themselves. It’s easier for them to make negative comments about someone else than recognise their own imperfections (and everyone has them!).
It’s often hard but try and let it go in one ear and straight out the other. You probably won’t stop them saying things but if you try to ignore it and put no value on negative comments then it really does help you learn to only take on board the positive things people say.
I agree, it’s cruel and uncalled for. I could be way off the mark here but could there be an element of jealously involved? I don’t know how old your mum is or how her body looks but maybe she’s jealous of your youth, your looks and she’s wishing she still looked like that?
It’s a horrible thing to do to anyone, let alone your own child though and there’s no excuse for it.
I know it’s easy to say but try to ignore it if you can. Don’t let her negativity rub off on you. It’s your body and your life, please don’t let this ruin your self confidence.
@wildflower I think their could be some jealousy as I am 20 years old and she is almost 62 and around a 22 in size I think and she has had 5 kids so her core strength is just gone. I really take things to heart especially when it comes from her. I think I just need to stand my ground to be honest.
It’s your business how you dress, not hers, don’t let her dictate or knock your confidence.
Also It’s likely the age old parental thing of not understanding modern fashion!
My dad always used to say to me " You’re not taking a girl out dressed like that are you"? I was wearing jeans and a denim jacket!
There seems to be a very large generational gap that could be contributing to your conflicting ideas concerning dress sense. She may be coming from a position of caring, but it’s coming across the wrong way, or that’s the only way she knows how to articulate it. You could always ask outright what she thinks is wrong with your attire, and try to establish some common ground instead of being at odds over what is really a minor matter on the grand scheme of things. Hope it works out! x
I’m so sorry your mum chips away at your confidence, it sounds like she has issues with herself and tries to project them on you. It may sound harsh but perhaps she needs a stern wake up call by you telling her to stop picking at you and that every time she says something like that it really effects your confidence and makes you feel crap.
It could be she don’t realise how badly it effects you.
Sadly for many aging involves acceptance of others shrinking in direct proportion to their waist expanding - it doesn’t have to but it seems to affect a lot of people in the world.
I had a similar issue when I decided to grow my hair long again (in my 50s) and my mother complained about the length. As you live at home this may not work but you might find a way to adapt it. I simply said, “if you don’t like my hair, that’s fine - just say so BUT before you answer be aware if you don’t want to see my hair again then you will not see me as long hair makes me happy and does not harm you. I will ring you but never force you to look at my hair if that is what you want”
Needless to say she accepted my hair and it was never an issue again.
I like that the in laws are just looking out for us - but yeah like you suggested I also want to make sure that I don’t say yes to too many things and I end up hoarding them myself in the new place 
Crack in my pocket, dropped off the scaff! All sorts, I payed for it though and pay to fix it! I go also pay for all the other stuff in the house and this gets my goat up too, big time 
