@Tks2021 i think we’ve all had points in a relationship where the sex wasn’t quite what we wanted, where the pressures of life just seemed to get in the way and we hit that dull spot but from all I’ve read I’m unsure that you’ve ever had good sex with this guy? Guys are dumb, we’re not mind readers but it sounds like you’ve given him enough guidance and he’s just ignoring it which does seem a bit odd. I think most guys want to be good in bed, to be the best their partner has ever had so she’ll never want any other guy. Making my misses orgasm is almost as good for me as my own orgasm, I love the look on her face, her lip biting and moans. If toys help her get off better than my fingers, mouth or penis sometimes then I’m ok with that but I understand that some guys can feel inadequate. If we always needed toys in the bedroom to make each other cum then I’d feel something was wrong but as an extra to spice things up I love them, they can provide great orgasms, different orgasms to sex alone and I’m happy with that. I know you’ve tried the direct approach but that could give him extra pressure when he knows he’s already underperforming. When you do have sex do you guide him subtly with moans, maybe a ‘that feels good’ complement or just a movement to show he’s hitting the right spot. Guys need guidance and not one woman I’ve been with likes things exactly the same way as anyone else I’ve been with. If he does something you like let him know and encourage him and I’m sure you can train him to get you off. Maybe as his confidence grows you’ll both start to enjoy sex more and get to that happy place. If you don’t then I think you need to assess the importance of a good sex life in your relationship. For me if the sex was bad then I’d think our relationship had failed, for me it’s a huge part of being a couple.
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Thats when you ether tie him up get kinky make him eat you or one day just put some whip cream on you know where lay in some roses wait for him to come home and ask him to take a taste. Or just the next time he wants oral just ask him to do 369. Or ask for a threesome