It never will be! An example…a person i know smoked from their schooldays, a person who loved them constantly begged them to stop. They made the usual gestures and even pretended to stop ( it was obvious to the non smoker they were still smoking) this went on for 30 odd years until a bout of ill health scared the shit out of them and they quit of their own accord. My point is, unless they WANT to change, they never will.
Whatever you decide to do, we are here if you need to vent your feelings
Pluck up the courage and have the conversation with him that you want - be forceful and demand answers.
At least then, you will know where you stand and can make a better decision on what you want to do.
I wish you the best x
It’s very much always been like this hes done oral etc once at the start and then it never occurred again I’ve tried over the 3 years to fix it and we go round and round in circles
I don’t think I could leave over this but it certainly needs sorting I don’t want it to be make or break but it’s certainly getting frustrating
Thank you so much I really
Appreciate all your help
And everyone else’s advice was great too xx
@Senator That’s a really good sounding podcast! I’ll have to look that one up
You really summed that up nicely in your 3 options @Shagger11. It does sound a little harsh at first glance but it’s so true. When I first went through this sort of thing, a counsellor put it like that to me and it really helped me to see what I was being blind to. The first option wasn’t something I was willing to put up with and the 3rd option made me feel really sad so option 2 was the only option left! Basically I came to the decision that it was option 2 followed by option 3 if 2 didn’t work. Option 1 was not even an option!
Next time you’re in the moment I would be inclined to say that you would really like some oral to tip you over the edge - see how he responds when he is already turned on. Let him know how much he is turning you on when he is giving you oral, lots of groans etc. make him feel like he is really good at it. If he doesn’t want to do it then that is his prerogative.
I would also have your favourite vibrator ready to hand to use as part of the foreplay, again see how he responds.
Hi, ultimately you must go with your gut feeling on how to resolve this issue. However, I’ll explain my experience in hope that it might offer you an alternative viewpoint.
My last relationship (18 years, married) we had been friends first, sex was always OK… But, always based around his pleasure. I hated giving oral and therefore wouldn’t, I just didn’t enjoy it. I was reluctant to receive oral from him too. Yes I loved him, but there was various issues in and out of the bedroom, ended in divorce and years of wasted pleasure I could have been having… Hindsight eh!
My current relationship (2 years) love making (has taken on a whole new meaning) /sex is amazing, we both give and receive oral WITH pleasure. Sex life is so much better from previous relationship, we are open in what we want, and like, and confident with it!
In fact we have both admitted that making love has never felt so good or been so much fun and full of pleasure.
Of course you love him, I’m sure he loves you too… but is this enough without the freedom and confidence to explore each other sexually?
You should feel confident and empowered by him in every respect! If not, we’ll this either needs fixing or ending!
All the best hun x
Hmm tricky, how about trying some magic potions to get him horny and excited haha
Or maybe he just needs some playful guiding during sex to do more things like floor play… have you tried showing some tender dominance towards him?
Sometimes men’s libido can be really low and effects how they enjoy sex, often causes are down to stress or depression related issue.