It never will be! An example…a person i know smoked from their schooldays, a person who loved them constantly begged them to stop. They made the usual gestures and even pretended to stop ( it was obvious to the non smoker they were still smoking) this went on for 30 odd years until a bout of ill health scared the shit out of them and they quit of their own accord. My point is, unless they WANT to change, they never will.
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Whatever you decide to do, we are here if you need to vent your feelings 
Pluck up the courage and have the conversation with him that you want - be forceful and demand answers.
At least then, you will know where you stand and can make a better decision on what you want to do.
I wish you the best x
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It’s very much always been like this hes done oral etc once at the start and then it never occurred again I’ve tried over the 3 years to fix it and we go round and round in circles
I don’t think I could leave over this but it certainly needs sorting I don’t want it to be make or break but it’s certainly getting frustrating
Thank you so much I really
Appreciate all your help 
And everyone else’s advice was great too xx
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@Senator That’s a really good sounding podcast! I’ll have to look that one up
You really summed that up nicely in your 3 options @Shagger11. It does sound a little harsh at first glance but it’s so true. When I first went through this sort of thing, a counsellor put it like that to me and it really helped me to see what I was being blind to. The first option wasn’t something I was willing to put up with and the 3rd option made me feel really sad so option 2 was the only option left! Basically I came to the decision that it was option 2 followed by option 3 if 2 didn’t work. Option 1 was not even an option!
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Hi, ultimately you must go with your gut feeling on how to resolve this issue. However, I’ll explain my experience in hope that it might offer you an alternative viewpoint.
My last relationship (18 years, married) we had been friends first, sex was always OK… But, always based around his pleasure. I hated giving oral and therefore wouldn’t, I just didn’t enjoy it. I was reluctant to receive oral from him too. Yes I loved him, but there was various issues in and out of the bedroom, ended in divorce and years of wasted pleasure I could have been having… Hindsight eh!
My current relationship (2 years) love making (has taken on a whole new meaning) /sex is amazing, we both give and receive oral WITH pleasure. Sex life is so much better from previous relationship, we are open in what we want, and like, and confident with it!
In fact we have both admitted that making love has never felt so good or been so much fun and full of pleasure.
Of course you love him, I’m sure he loves you too… but is this enough without the freedom and confidence to explore each other sexually?
You should feel confident and empowered by him in every respect! If not, we’ll this either needs fixing or ending!
All the best hun x
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Hmm tricky, how about trying some magic potions to get him horny and excited haha 
Or maybe he just needs some playful guiding during sex to do more things like floor play… have you tried showing some tender dominance towards him?
Sometimes men’s libido can be really low and effects how they enjoy sex, often causes are down to stress or depression related issue.
If he says he doesn’t want to do oral or improve your sex life then you’ve got a line in the sand and can make an informed decision. At the moment you’re trying to second guess him and no doubt it’s the uncertainty that’s worse than knowing where you stand.
There has been some great replies since I posted. I can’t help but feel that he is lacking in confidence and doesn’t know what to do. And his embarrassment is leading to him shutting down and not admitting to it. So it becomes a vicious circle and nothing improves for you. That’s where a good conversation could help by breaking that circle and giving him the reassurance to try or give him the confidence to ask.
If not, @PleasureDrone is right that he’s not worth it 
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@Tks2021 i think we’ve all had points in a relationship where the sex wasn’t quite what we wanted, where the pressures of life just seemed to get in the way and we hit that dull spot but from all I’ve read I’m unsure that you’ve ever had good sex with this guy? Guys are dumb, we’re not mind readers but it sounds like you’ve given him enough guidance and he’s just ignoring it which does seem a bit odd. I think most guys want to be good in bed, to be the best their partner has ever had so she’ll never want any other guy. Making my misses orgasm is almost as good for me as my own orgasm, I love the look on her face, her lip biting and moans. If toys help her get off better than my fingers, mouth or penis sometimes then I’m ok with that but I understand that some guys can feel inadequate. If we always needed toys in the bedroom to make each other cum then I’d feel something was wrong but as an extra to spice things up I love them, they can provide great orgasms, different orgasms to sex alone and I’m happy with that. I know you’ve tried the direct approach but that could give him extra pressure when he knows he’s already underperforming. When you do have sex do you guide him subtly with moans, maybe a ‘that feels good’ complement or just a movement to show he’s hitting the right spot. Guys need guidance and not one woman I’ve been with likes things exactly the same way as anyone else I’ve been with. If he does something you like let him know and encourage him and I’m sure you can train him to get you off. Maybe as his confidence grows you’ll both start to enjoy sex more and get to that happy place. If you don’t then I think you need to assess the importance of a good sex life in your relationship. For me if the sex was bad then I’d think our relationship had failed, for me it’s a huge part of being a couple.
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Thats when you ether tie him up get kinky make him eat you or one day just put some whip cream on you know where lay in some roses wait for him to come home and ask him to take a taste. Or just the next time he wants oral just ask him to do 369. Or ask for a threesome