Just wondering if any of you guys have done this, currently doing this or even married a work colleague.
Once upon a time I used to work in a bank and obviously many of my work colleagues were female .Many of which I was attracted to but I never had the bottle to start a relationship . The nearest that happend is that I had a shortish term relationship with a Managers daughter who didn't work for the bank. I think this was just concidence that her father worked for the same bank but different branch .What stopped me was the fact that after a relationship had finished you still had to work with this person or at least see this person everyday at your work place. So this scenario always put me off.
On the otherhand many of my then colleagues did have raltionships with other colleagues and quite a few got hitched along the way. So it worked for them.
So what are your views ?
I slept with the assistant manager and another member of staff at the pub I worked at. That didn't cause any problems but they were just casual things. Later, my ex became the assistant manager and I rapidly got fired so I would imagine if things go badly with a co-worker, it might not be too good.
If I was ever to be interested in a co-worker in the future I would have a couple of things I'd need to think about before dating or sleeping with them:
1) If things get messy, am I happy to leave the job? A part time pub job, almost certainly. A more serious job, no.
2) How much do I like the person? If I wasn't THAT into them I would leave it but if I thought they were the love of my life or I was insanely sexually attracted to them (and I was not that bothered about the job if it went wrong) then I would go for it.
I was seeing my manager at an old Job, and I also worked with my ex and did so for a long time.
Although, I have always stayed friends or got on well with my exes even after breaking up so it's never been an issue.
I've also had a thing with someone I worked with, who is now one of my close friends boyfriend. She knew about it and as we get on as friends since it never caused any issues.
I was with another member of staff for 18m when I was 18/19. When we split up it was awkward, mostly because he dumped me for someone else in the store (prick). A few months later I got a new bf, I got him a job with me, fast forward 6yrs my fiancé and I still work together, he gets on really well with my ex, and my ex and I are on good terms. He broke my heart when he ditched me but it's just one of those things you know, you pick yourself up, dust off and carry on, what's done is done. Neither my ex or I talk about the relationship we had, so it's no big deal in the work place 😊
(My ex didn't get with the girl he left me for - ha! Thiugh actually she's lovely and they're very well matched but they're best friends so neither wantsbto make the leap. He's engaged to someone else now anyway. Whoooole other story!)
I have had a couple of relationships with work colleagues in the past , one casual and one not so much . The great thing about the not so casual one was that he was on a seperate team and in another part of the building. So as much as I did work with him it wasn't all that close . The casual fling , I was training him so was with him everyday. Both of these ended on different terms and we are still friends so did not effect work at all.
It seems to happen a lot in offices as many I have worked in do have husbands , wifes , boyfriends, girlfriends in the same workplace and are happy . I guess it all depnds on the person , as I have changed from who I was before and I feel my work space is where I can make new friends and have a life away from home.
Thats why I couldn't do it again because I love going home and have different things to discuss with my partner,about our work day and I love my own little space.That and because I am not single lol
Oh jeez can you imagine going to work with your OH?
The best thing about work is freeeeedom!
That is where I met my wife at work. There was always something quite special about going to work together.
I guess it all depends on the situation but for me no I wouldn't want to work along side a partner, I like to keep work and home life very much separate.
Had a relationship with the hot blonde in the finance department, then I changed jobs but I'm married to her now so it all worked out OK
I work with my partner- for my families business!
Its a little different to your situation obviously- although testing at times, if you are working towards a common goal together I actually think it can be good for some relationships.
It's a big risk to take but could the the relationship of a life time :)
I have had a couple of flings in a hotel I worked at once with colleagues in different departments. It made things very awakward when I called things off as we would always bump in to eachother about the hotel.
I understand it's not for everyone, but it does work for some!
I met my now husband when we both worked in the same office although we were based on different floors . It certainly added a bit of excitment to the working day for us and luckily it all worked out although relationships in the firm we worked for were very much frowned upon for obvious reasons I suppose.
It depends really, I know it's not work but I sleep with a guy on my course at uni and we also live in the same accomodation so we are around each other literally 24/7, at times it's difficult but if you agree on terms set by one another you should be fine, keep things professional at work. For us, we act noramlly at uni and hook up once or twice a week, it has had it's awkward moments as I have more emotion invested than he does but after a long talk about terms/boundaries we are fine and things are still working out.
It comes down to the two people involved really, hope it works out for you if you go for it ^_^ x
If I was ever to be interested in a co-worker in the future I would have a couple of things I'd need to think about before dating or sleeping with them:
1) If things get messy, am I happy to leave the job? A part time pub job, almost certainly. A more serious job, no.
2) How much do I like the person? If I wasn't THAT into them I would leave it but if I thought they were the love of my life or I was insanely sexually attracted to them (and I was not that bothered about the job if it went wrong) then I would go for it.
Never been in this situation (always ended up working with women and men who were 30 years older than me!) but I agree with this. Good jobs are hard to come by, so I wouldn't risk it.
Thanks guys some interesting views.For me though it was a case of "what if" scenario .I had my chance but was reluctant to take it. Even though I am happy with my current partner ,my Mrs , one just can't stop thinking about the past.
I still keep in touch with a couple who married within the bank so to speak. To get around the problem of talking shop all night they give it an hour and then any further discussions about work are banned .
I met my wife through work but our roles were very different and in different offices across London. A few months later I was moved to the same office as her. We thought we were being super discreet and professional and discreet until, about three months later, we discovered we'd been spotted in a restaurant and everybody knew.
We've been married 13 years this year.
But to avoid looking totally smug I've also got experience of short term relationships with a colleague going wrong (of the "what on earth was I thinking...srsly" type) and also of avoiding relationships because of fear of what colleagues might say. 15+ yrs later I've no regrets about the former but a tinge of "what if" about the latter. You have to weigh up the risks of it affecting your work or even you career if it doesn't work out against the possible benefits of finding somebody amazing. Like any relationship really 😊 also your respective roles and workplace culture are factors.
Good luck. X
I had a casual fling with a good friend who I met at work. Completely ruined out friendship, which I'm still sad about to this day
I have been working together with my husband for the past six years now in our own company. Does that count? If not, I did have an affair with my boss once, it started when I already had the job, it was an ideal work place for me, but when the newspaper started making cuts, he had to fire me. And I was devastated for losing the job, but it did not influence our relationship because I was able to keep things separate. He on the other hand had a bit of a 'feeling guilty' crisis about firing me while sleeping with me... :) We are still in very good terms.
era wrote:
I have been working together with my husband for the past six years now in our own company. Does that count? If not, I did have an affair with my boss once, it started when I already had the job, it was an ideal work place for me, but when the newspaper started making cuts, he had to fire me. And I was devastated for losing the job, but it did not influence our relationship because I was able to keep things separate. He on the other hand had a bit of a 'feeling guilty' crisis about firing me while sleeping with me... :) We are still in very good terms.
When working with your husband do you set in boundaries as regards talking shop in the evenings ?
The reason why I am asking this is because when I retire in about 6 years from now ( private pension) I will be turning my hobby into a little business with my wife working alongside me.