This.
As much as there are things I look for in reviews and stuff I skip over, I think it’s actually good to have a variety of different types of review. Reading a ton of reviews that are all fairly similar would make me (and probably others) trust the reviews less I think.
Thinking about how and why i read reviews, keeping them brief and to the point is good, as i tend to read a fair few reviews of an item to get a decent overview, so long ones may be skipped depending on how pressed for time i am.
Jeez we are always saying on here that everyone is different and that’s fine, same for reviews…someone’s yuck is another’s yum and all that.
All I want in a review Is an explanation for why something is classed as good/ bad/ ok. As long as the review actually explains WHY they are of that opinion, it’s all good.
I’ve put together a list of pretty much all the topics with ‘review’ in the title I could find (plus a few extras) over in the Sandbox.
They’re a really interesting read. 
This one is from 2015:
Okay, let’s see if we can turn this around (as we seem to have triggered a PSA - Kindness warning)
Would anyone prefer a forum topic that just consisted of review tips in quote form? So no ‘live’ opinions as such, but something we could still point people towards when they ask for review feedback/advice? (and if someone thinks one is worded to harshly/unfairly we can change the language so everybody is happy )
I know there’s already the How to Write a Great Product Review, but it’s been suggested that maybe a community one would be good as well. What does everybody think?
I think this is a great idea, something of a tick list. Like “have I included my measurements? Yes, tick!”.
Writing style is subjective, but we all love cold hard facts!
I thought I read that as PDA - Kindness this morning. I must have been tired 
Either way, I’m happy to receive direct feedback for myself - positive and negative. Sounds like a good idea, Ian.
I’m still trying to thrash out what is/isn’t an acceptable opinion to have on reviews, so we may have to hold back on any postive/negative feedback for now.
I’ve re-read this topic and personally I don’t think anyone has been unkind, rude, or done anything against the rules. 
I’ve tried to clean up some of my posts, but I really don’t know if I’ve made it any better?
Most of the same points are made in the How to Write a Great Review guide too, so maybe we should just quote that next time?
I’ve tried to be as honest and informative as usual, and I’ve also tried to provide extra balance where needed. And I’ve stressed multiple times that different people like different things, there’s no universal review recipe you can follow, and that people should write whatever they want. I’m not sure what else I can say?
Anyway.
I think I’m going to have to go and think about something else for awhile.
Edit: Obviously I had another go at it. 
I know what you mean. I was thinking about the “compliment sandwich” way or maybe anyone who volunteers to get feedback can. I didn’t see anything rude either unless I’m missing something? But you never know; some things might still seem hurtful to people no matter how gentle the feedback is (even if it’s still positive).
You work hard on this forum, so you definitely deserve a rest if this particular topic is getting a bit tricky. It can be difficult to please everyone, but you make a damn good effort
I think it definitely is a helpful thread/topic and one worth revisiting every so often as lots of people do have questions about reviewing.
Perhaps we just need to focus it more on “what do you like to see in review?” Or “what is the most important info to you?” To try and keep it as positive as possible.
It would be nice to be able click on the bar graph and for it to filter just the reviews for that rating, like Trustpilot does.
This is unlikely to ever change. People want different things from a sex toy review so there is no universal good way to write a review; some people want the ins and outs of the product, some want to know how the person added it into their sex life, some just want the reassurance that other people have bought the toy and liked it, to name but a few reasons. People will also write reviews for their own reasons be that to be informative and helpful, just to share their opinion, because they were bored when the LH email came through asking for a review or something else entirely.
The only thing I can suggest for this is when you find reviews that you like, look up the person’s member profile (which isn’t as easy as it used to be I’ll admit) and have a read through their reviews. Make yourself a little list of preferred reviewers, ones that tend to answer the questions you want answered and/or those that have similar opinions to yourself/like the same toys you do. It’s not a perfect solution but it might help a bit.
I’m not against people adding their opinions to their reviews, I do in mine. The ones I’m meaning are the reviews that do not actually tell you about the toy itself but its when that is pretty much the entire review like there was one I saw that was pretty much (not direct quote):
“I loved this toy so much, even taking it out the bag gets me so wet”
The rest of the review to meet the word requirement gave no indication what the toy was like or how it performs. Its reviews like this quite pointless as it tells you nothing
I have to respectfully disagree. Buying a sex toy is no different than buying any non life sustaining product. Some people are invested in making the right choice for them, researching their options, understanding the differences between items/brands etc whereas others just literally need to reassurance that other people have bought that product and it worked (and reading long detailed reviews can be overwhelming).
They also kind of show that the more detailed reviews are genuine. A company wouldn’t pay for the short “I liked it insert 47 more words here” reviews so if a product has plenty of short reviews agreeing with the more detailed ones, there is more chance the detailed ones are real. (I know Lovehoney reviews are all genuine but not everyone will automatically trust that).
Some are just plain fun to read as well and the promotion of happiness is where Lovehoney are at. Sex and sex toys don’t have to be serious and the reviewers reflect this
Reviews are so helpful when deciding what to buy! It would be helpful to be able to read just reviews with a certain number of stars just to see a few of everything.
With lingerie I find the most helpful ones are those where people have mentioned their clothes / bra size and how well the item fitted their shape. It gives me a good idea of whether it would suit my body shape, fit my boobs, comes up small / large or offers support to the boobs.
With toys, I’m mainly looking for reveiws about the material, soft, flexible or rigid etc. If it’s a vibrating toy, I am generally looking to see what people say about the strength of the vibrations and whether they are buzzy or low frequency. This is mainly because I am very sensitve and generally look for reviews that say that vibrations are weaker (again why it would be useful to see reveiws with less stars since most people tend to rate toys lower when they are less powerful than expected).
With anal toys I’m looking to see if people mention the comfort of the base and particularly checking that no one has said anything about feeling that the base was too small! I’m also interested in what people say about the shape of the toy since it is sometimes hard to get an accurate idea from the picture. I like toys with a small but long neck before the base (more comfortable!) and something that doesn’t pop back out easily!
As @Melody1 says, I do sometimes just like to read them for fun too! It’s interesting to see what others enjoy, gives me ideas 
Great points @Kitty-Cat01, I will bear them in mind next time I review
For toys I like reviews that show me how well the toy matches up to the sales hype. The sales blurb on the product page/manufacturer’s website always (over)emphasises the positives, but I like to read about how those claims stack up with real people using them. ‘whisper quiet (if based on Homer Simpson’s whisper)’
Any reviews that obscure that with too much creative hyperbole, etc start to sound more like another round of sales pitches rather than reporting back. (to me at least )
If a description doesn’t mention the sound at all, I usually guess it’s going to sound like a coffee grinder in a bee hive 
Good point though - in my previous reviews on vibrating products I only tend to mention the noise if it is loud. I have a review to write up so I’ll make sure I mention the sounds of the vibrations in more details as that is a key piece of information for a lot of people.
Yes. When I was living with parents, the noise level and cleaning aspect was pretty important to me. But now that I have my own place, I’m not so bothered. I’m more interested if the noise is distracting or off putting. Sometimes I wonder if my judgement of the noise level has changed because of this? Like it may not be loud to me because no-one is around to hear it, but it could be to someone else who does?
I know some products advertise “whisper quiet”, so it can be handy in reviews to see how true it is. Some don’t promise anything, though. For example, in the product description for the Ora 3, it doesn’t mention anything about the noise (and it’s understandable why). In my review, I think I said something along the lines of “it sounds like I’m being eaten out by a distressed fax machine”. Probably not a big selling point… unless you’re into robo sex, haha. 