you have a brilliant sense of humour!
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I just choked on my toast 
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Iām not sure this is the right place for this question as it is about reviews rather than testers but I didnāt want to start a new thread for something simpleā¦
I want to write a review of something that I purchased recently but I didnāt really like it. There was nothing wrong with the product, it just didnāt work for me. I think I could add some information that could be useful for other people so I want to write a review but Iām not sure what to do about the stars, do I give it a low number because it didnāt suit me? That seems a bit harsh when itās not actually the product that was bad, it just isnāt for me. Any thoughts?
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Iād stick it somewhere in the middle. 
You can use the other star boxes (and the text) to give a clearer picture. 
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Good thinking 
itās a difficult one. I usually avoid writing reviews for things that donāt suit me because I never know what to do about the rating but in this case I think it would be helpful so Iām going to have a go!
I wouldnāt worry too much. The words are much more important, so Iād match the overall star rating to the overall gist of the review.
My basic 1 ā 5 is:
1 - It was crap
3 - Mixed bag
5 - It pretty much matched the sales pitch
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I agree with @Ian_Chimp
You should still rate it fairly on how it worked for you.
The most important thing is explaining the positives and negatives that you experienced
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For me itās usually:
5 - Diving into bed with it!
4 - Has some notable issues, but still good.
3 - Meh. So-so. I can take it or leave it.
2 - Dreading going to bed with it again, but still has a few glimmers of hope.
1 - Bin worthy! Hall of shame! Booo! Hisss!
Itās a shame we canāt use the half stars anymore as they were helpful when something wasnāt quite a 5 or a 4, for example.
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I liked them too, though I think they were more comforting to the reviewer than the reader (eg. 3/5 feels low and stingy, but 7/10 seems quite reasonable). But when reading reviews I donāt think those half points have ever swayed me.
Thereās so much variety in why someone has come up with their particular star rating that it makes it a bit of a vague metric to rely on. The detail in the explanation is the real treasure.
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True to a certain extent.
If an item only has 2 stars, then I probably would scroll right past it and find something else before even looking at the reviews.
But I agree that the information in the review is the most important.
I saw a review a while ago that was only 3 stars yet, in the write up it said everything about the item was great 
so thatās a bit of mixed signals
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Theyāre the ones I read first. Especially if itās something expensive or swish.
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Same. I wanna read the dirt 
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dirty girl
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Reviewer: āThis is garbage! Not worth the money! Hated it with every fiber of my being!ā
Me: āYes! Yes! Tell me more! Spill it!ā 
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I always read the bad ones first too. Good gauge of what people dont like about it (also amusing).
Always struggle to review something i didnt get on with too. Had a few items (most notably the desire pebble vibe) where the vibrations did nothing for me. Not the fault of the vibe (i really really liked the pebble one, was so sad it was numbing. 
. One of those vibes i had a āis it actually on?ā Moment with.)
Tend to shove the review in the middle and then talk about its pros and coms and how the vibes just didnt work for me personallyy
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Oh, Iām the opposite. I find it easier to talk about the issues. Hard for me to leave the Cons box empty 
. Even if I donāt find it an issue, it could be for someone else? For example, I loved my leopard print thong but my partner hates that pattern. Pro for me and con for him type of thing. No points deducted, but it was worth a mention I guess.
In my actual job, Iām like a truffle pig that finds faults and flaws so I probably come across as a bit nit-picky in my reviews because Iām used to doing that all day, haha.
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I find reviews much easier when I have something to say. Whether itās positive or negative, that first thing that stands out the most seems to unlock the rest of it for me.
Iāve been tempted to create a review template that includes all the āsectionsā that would be worth commenting on (sort of like the Feedback form for some of the secret testers), but it feels too clinical, and I end up sounding quite āsameyā.
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If the issue is something like fiddly controls, vibe travelling into hand, loud, tricky to hold, i havent an issue putting those in a review. When i read reviews i want to know what people hated about a toy, helps me work out whether its for me or not. But if its that the vibrations diddnt work for me, i always struggle 
what i hate vibe wise, others may think is amazing. perfect example, new tango. For me it is meh. Take it or leave it. Everyone else raves about the things
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