Role-Play Generator

Sex Tips & Talk
143

“Oh! I am terrible at this! I’m never going to pass my test.”

“It’s okay, 3-point turns are tricky - especially in a truck as big as this. Just relax and we’ll try again as many times as you need.”

“Thanks Susan. And I know, you’re right. It’s just, this is so important to me. I need to pass this test so we can open our new Big Animal Rescue Service, and the clock is ticking. I think the pressure is getting to me.”

“That does sound important.”

“It really is. I can’t let anyone down. Um, perhaps I could offer you some free vetinary services to, er, move things along a bit? I could worm your cat? Or neuter a small animal of your choice?”

“Sorry Kevin, I don’t have any pets. But if it’s that important to you I do have a pussy you could check out…”

“Are you saying that if I have sex with you then you’ll pass me? Why on earth didn’t you say that 3 weeks ago? I’m in!”

6 Likes
144

I’m still struggling with my taxi driver/firefighter one! :thinking:I’d never have thought I’d be lost for words over a firefighter! :grin:

3 Likes
145

Genius Mr @Ian_Chimp ! :clap::clap:

@wildflower my mind is drawn to Stephen Fry (a taxi driver albeit one who doesn’t tend to pick up passengers) and fun he might have with a toyboy Firefighter :joy:.

ETA From a brief Google… Kate Moss owns a black cab taxi! Got to be a story there - I admit I may be stretching the rules :rofl:

3 Likes
147

@discobot roll 2d120

1 Like
148

If Discobot is ignoring you it could be because of this setting:

He also doesn’t listen to edits, so you can’t open a message back up have a second go. He’s a bit fickle. :slightly_smiling_face:

149

A post was merged into an existing topic: Discobot Tutorials

150

@discobot roll 2d120

151

:game_die: 47, 47

152

Angel and angel??? Lol

1 Like
153

Hi! To find out what I can do, say @discobot display help.

154

Screaming for Lucifer to seduce an angel still in heaven surely, turn her to the dark side?! :rofl:

3 Likes
155

Oh yeah, angel vs fallen angel. Very terry pratchetts “good news”

4 Likes
156

Do you mean Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimen? (and Agnus Nutter :slightly_smiling_face:)

(The book is a teenage favourite of mine. Less enthused by the TV series)

2 Likes
157

Taxi Driver and Firefighter

Lorraine had only been in her new job as taxi driver for a week and things weren’t going awfully well. In that week she’d had a run of disasters and was on a warning from the taxi company she worked for but she really needed this job, she couldn’t afford any more complaints.

She was on her way to pick up her next fare when she spotted a fire engine parked up ahead. Lorraine had always had a thing about firefighters, she suddenly felt the tiny knickers she’d put on that morning unable to cope with the onslaught of moisture that was occurring.

‘Oh my god, don’t get distracted Lorraine!’ she told herself but it was no good, as soon as she caught a glimpse of the hunky firefighter opening the door and starting to climb down in front of her it all started to go wrong. In her panic she slammed on the brakes, almost skidding to a halt just inches from the shocked firefighter.

“What the hell were you thinking?” the outraged firefighter started yelling but then suddenly got a birds eye view down the front of Lorraine’s tight sweater as she rolled down the window which seemed to placate him somewhat.

“Oh I’m so sorry, please, please don’t take this any further, I’ll lose my job,” cried the hapless taxi driver.

"Hmmm, well I’m not an unreasonable man,’ he said still gawping at her heaving bosom. “I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.”

“Do you mean what I think you mean?” gasped Lorraine, trying to look shocked but secretly just aching to get her hands on him and rip those Velcro fastenings open on his jacket and trousers.

" Well I’ve always had a thing for taxi drivers," he grinned. " How about taking me for a ride later and if you’re very good I’ll show you my hose!"

8 Likes
158

Yes, thankyou, exactly that and not whatever i wrote :+1:. Brain not functioning today.

1 Like
159

I got a little excited at first as I thought there was a Terry Pratchett book I’d not read yet. :slightly_smiling_face:

160

If only. That gem was pure gold. One of my favourite books ever. Tragically 2 of my favourite authors getting together and writing something that good doesn’t happen as often as id like.

3 Likes
161

I think I want to make Kevin a vetinary recruit for “Big Rescue: Animal Service”, and make jokes about how much extra training he needs, as getting into BRAS is really difficult for him. :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes
163

Hello and welcome @nico31131977 :slightly_smiling_face:

165

@discobot roll 2d120

1 Like