4, 67
Robber/ door to door salesperson! That’s going to take some thinking about 
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KNOCK KNOCK
MAN: “Who’s there?”
SALESPERSON: “Hello sir! I’m a representative of Dr Fister’s No-More-Blisters Knicker-Twisters and Bum Fun Assisters.”
MAN: “Is this some kind of joke?”
SALESPERSON: “Not at all sir. In fact I am calling today to offer elite customers like yourself a sneak-peek preview of our brand new, never-been-seen before, revolutionary, Master-Ass Blaster (now three times faster!), and if you would just kindly open the door I am fully licensed to give fully immersive, fully interactive, fully complimentary, on-site demonstrations…”
MAN: “I think you’d better come in.”
SALESPERSON:" Why thank you sir. Let me just wheel these past you. I see you’re packing. I’m sorry I’ve come at such an inopportune moment, but I promise you this won’t take long. And I think you’ll be glad you took the time! Is this room okay to set up in?"
MAN: “Yeah, that’s as good as any.”
SALESPERSON: “Please, take a seat. Just there is fine. I’ll be only a moment. Ah, that’s brilliant, thank you. Now I just hoist this rope here, and up you swing fully cocooned in our trademark snuggabugga™ suppression harness. And, very cleverly, it also has an auto-gag function”
MAN: “mmmm” 
SALESPERSON: “If I could just adjust these straps here, and tighten these clasps here and here. And I’ll just attach these electrodes here, and of course, here. Don’t want to miss those.”
MAN: “Mmmmphh?”
SALESPERSON: “I’d say about fifteen minutes is usual, but we can take it as it comes. Ready?”
MAN: “Mmff!”
SALESPERSON: “Okay. Let’s go”
[edited. No, no no, no. That is far too graphic, and neither safe nor sane. I’m not even sure I can unthink those images now.]
SALESPERSON: “Oh, bravo sir. And a bucket full as well. Most impressive.”
MAN: “mf”
POLICE OFFICER: “Allo, Allo, Allo! What the bloody hell is going on here, then!”
SALESPERSON: “Officer! This is all above board. I assure you. I have my license right here.”
MAN: “Mmmff”
POLICE OFFICER: “Here, ain’t that the notorious BingoBango Burglar you’ve got strung up in that contraption of yours - what’s been preying on the poor innocent people in this here neighbourhood? Seems there’s plenty of DNA evidence too. Very nice work. It looks like we’ve got you banged to rights, chum!”
BINGOBANGO BURGLAR: “Nnnff!”
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“Crivens! I kicked meself in ma ain heid!” 
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@Ian_Chimp this is wonderful - Love it! Lovehoney really should employ just to come up with names for new toys 
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Ha. Thank you, but I think we both know that’s not true.
I’m also now thinking maybe I shouldn’t have stolen your roll. 
That may have been bad form.
What do people reckon? Free-for-all, or roller gets first pop?
We can’t ensure everyone will stick to what we decide, but there’s always a little leeway for new contributors, so it’ll work in the main.
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I have zero problems with anyone taking on my roll!
There’s no reason one roll can’t have more than one story to it is there? I think a free-for-all could work as it could be a while before the roller either thinks up a story ( I took well over a week!) or indeed wants to post.
Speaking for myself I’m liking how it’s going so far
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I’m really the same, quite happy for people to take on my roll, really appreciated the vet and driving instructor one you came up with because I had zilch for them!
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Phew.
So we’ll keep it free and easy. Anyone can have a go at any roll, and multiple scenarios for each would be brilliant.
Let’s have another to mull over…
@discobot roll 2d120
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Nurse and Cowboy/girl…
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The Cowgirl and the Nurse… take 1:
The cowgirl hadn’t been mounted for long but she was enjoying the ride; the feeling of 17 powerful hands working between her legs, veins popping as her handsome steed galloped across the open plains. She just loved riding the big ones. Now, despite her enjoyment her mount today had quite the reputation, he was the barn badboy and was well known for getting everyone who rode him off. However, the cowgirl was prepped; she had her spurs and big whip with her just in case he was a naughty boy.
Well, as soon as they got off the plains and headed towards town he was a naughty boy and turns out she was not as prepped as she thought and found herself bronked off and dispatched right outside a slightly ramshackle house on the outskirts of town.
The cursing and blasfeming coming from her mouth was more than enough to raise the occupant of the house though it must be said the language ceased when he appeared - quite the view to behold. Topless and muscles bulging. He rushed out shouting at her not to move, he was a nurse (unusual for the Wild West admittedly but she was happy to go with it!) In truth she wasn’t hurt, the swearing was all anger at herself for being thrown from the patchy twat in the first place but when a super hottie offers to sweep you off your feet and carry you into his house… well, she wasn’t going to refuse was she?
Turns out the nurse used to be based at the ranch himself, as he carried her into his house he remarked, “That patchy twat you were on, I once rode his mother and she got me off so fast! A feisy family indeed.”
As they passed over the threshold, the cowgirl still had her spurs on and whip in hand and the nurse was pretty sure his new patient was going to be showing him just how feisty she could be pretty soon too…
ETA
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3Fterm=Patchy%2BTwat&=true
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I mean, this is legendary. 
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Sadly did not come up with that one myself… have added the link to the definition but it fitted very well into the narrative
I highly recommend shiteventersunite on Facebook
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Ooh, goth/punk and landlord. Fun combo
Maybe a “can you turn down the music” situation?
I’m struggling with this one…