Running out of ideas

Hi everyone, me again,

Me and my wife have been together for 12 years and have done most of the stuff we can think of fantasy wise. We already have most of the toys from LH that we can afford. Whilst are marriage is by no means at risk we do want to try new things or posh the envelope a bit more


What sort of things have you already done? Is there anything that is a definite no?

We have done some bondage and light bdsm, some food play, anal (her not me … yet). Neither of us is interested in involving another party. My missusis disabled (dodgy knees and fibromyalgia) but it doesn’t stop us doing most things


Hi @deanodude

I am in a similar position to yourself and struggling to come up with new things to keep the spice in the bedroom. We are going to be going back to our first day’s of being together and the excitement of new experiences together. Maybe try that, as best you can with your wife’s limitations, and start from there.

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Might this be something that you would be interested in exploring? Might your wife be interested in using some toys on you if you wanted to try a bit of anal fun? I know it’s not for everyone but it doesn’t sound like you’re particularly opposed to the idea?

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The other night we did start to tinker in this area, she had our mini wand first on my testicles and then on arse. Got to admit it did feel good and it’s something we are gonna try in future, pegging is definitely out though

Maybe have a play with a small butt plug and see if you enjoy it. Pegging is out because of your wife’s knees and fibromyalgia? If it was something that you did eventually want to try, you could try a position where you were on top and lowered yourself down? Like a cowgirl position? Bit soon to be thinking about that though, you probably want to play with smaller things first!

Pegging is out cuz it just doesn’t spin the props for either of us really.

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Fair enough! It’s not something my OH would want to do either!

What about P-spotting or Reversing the dom/sub dynamic so you both get a go at being top and bottom. Edging might be a fun option too.
Double penetration (with toys), orgasm denial/control.
There is also a mahoosive list of positions of the week lurking on the forum somewhere. Even with fibro there will definitely be a few viable options on there for you.

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I think inserting into my arse is probably the next step to push. We have come up with a safeword which we had never bothered with before. She likes being the domme but has a bit of a thing about apologising if somethings sounds like it hurts

I can sympathise with that. Im a serial apologiser and the reflex can be really strong. Having a safe word may help (have you considered the traffic light system by the way, also works well) Reassuring her your fine and telling her how much you enjoy it, both after and during, may help.
Even throwing a “please don’t stop, that feels so good” in there is a nice reassurance.

Anal wise i would recommend starting with butt plugs,( or theres an ocean of prostate toys out there too, sorry, not my forte but the forum is full of advice on those) before you work up to dildos.
For a first butt plus, i would recommend going with something silicone and 3.5” in circumference. (Read the sizes, both circumference and insertable length really matter). Also get some good quality anal lube (sliquid is my go to). Lube is really important so dont be afraid to use it.
Ton of advice on the forum about plugs too.
They do tend to feel odd for the first few times you use them, you kind of have to acclimatise to the new sensation.

We have a few anal toys already. A metal plug and a prostate massager, plus a slim vibrating plug. We have some the silk LH lube that seems to last ages.

Sounds like your set then. If you want to try dildos you need to start with a circumference thats a bit smaller than the largest butt plug you can comfortably use as theyr more intense and put more pressure on the anal sphincter than a but plug as they dont have a neck.
So working your way up a couple of but plug sizes can be a good idea before going dildos.

How about outfits/role play? Can change things nicely, whilst being a bit escapist.

As a guy, I understand about the anal/prostate hesitation as I was there too. My OH and I started very slowly, with her just using pressure on the outside, and then working up to her using a finger inside me. Finally after a while, I decided to use a plug (it was the slimline that comes in the couples pack from LH). As some of the other people have said, using a plug feels a little “weird” at first, and you definitely want to lube up really well first. I found that I got more comfortable with it by “wearing” it for 10-20 minutes a couple times a week, ususally before the misses and I would play, and I used it during solo sessions to learn more about how it could really bring me pleasure. She was hesitant at first too, about the idea of using toys on me. But through communication and experiences, it has opened things up (in more ways than one lol) in our sex life. We still haven’t done any pegging, but she has used the plug on me in bed, and liked the strong O it gave me. I’ve also worn the plug while she was on top of me. We’re both talking about taking it a little further and trying a bigger toy. The biggest things though are communication, and quality lube. :slight_smile:

We took a drive earlier and she decided to edge me through my shorts. Not just once though. 5 or 6 times!!! And still she didn’t let me cum.

I have never felt anything like that before. Frigging incredible but at the same time sooooo evil!!!


The main thing is honest, open communication together. This should include what each person’s fantasies are, and any interests, even if they are simply fantasies that one isn’t willing to act on…yet. by learning what type of things turn your partner on, you are better able to come up with effective role play situations and acts that will satisfy your partner and you as well. Best of luck to you!

Follow up to my last reply. Well later that evening she edged me a few more times. Then told me to start making love, when i got close she made me stop and i leaked a bit. She then made me clean up the bit of mess I made. Eventually after some more edging she let me deposit rather a lot on her rather ample breasts.

Definitely one of our best sessions in a while!!