My OH and I are considering being more adventurous and have discussed going to a sex club and need some advice.
We aren’t wanting to share or swing and are just looking for somewhere we can be exhibitionists with each other and to watch other people too. Are there club like this? We’ve done some research and can see lots of s&m / kink clubs or just swinger clubs around europe but can’t find exactly what we are looking for.
Does anyone have any advice, would a swinger club be best for us and we just need to make sure that everyone knows what our boundaries are?
I’ve never come across a club purely for exhibitionism/voyeurism, although maybe they do exist.
I’d say a swingers club would be your best bet. Unless they clearly state otherwise, the rule will be that people can’t join in unless you invite them to. There are some clubs about that have rooms where you can close the door so no one can come in but that have windows people can watch you through, so maybe check out photos on the club’s socials or website.
I’d wouldn’t necessarily advise trying a fetish or kink club. Although sex is allowed in a lot of them, it’s not the main focus
I have no experience directly, but from what I’ve read online and a lot of forum feedback I would be led to agree that a swingers club is probably what you’re looking for more than a kink club. Any swingers club worth its salt will have extremely high expectations and consequences related to enthusiastic consent and so would be a safe space to watch, play, and be watched. You might have to decline requests to join, but your consent should be honored and if it isn’t you should seek out the club management immediately.
Most swingers clubs will have some themed nights for various kinks but also include couples only night for more reserved play. A good swingers club will also operate a no means no protocol and offer many opportunities for exhibitions and voyeurs including beds in open areas, think erotic cinema, lounge area etc, orgy rooms for same room fun or rooms where you can play in the safety of a locked room but mirrors, viewing windows, cameras playing back to public areas etc. if you enjoy being watched and watching others a good swingers club will certainly provide you with the opportunity for both.
I’m interested in this kinda thing too but my slant would be turning up as a solo guy in lingerie
There’s a sex club near me has afternoons and evenings for CD’s where the “girls” I think circulate around the rooms with the regular naked guys but I don’t think what the rules are there
I’d want to show off how much I enjoy wearing lingerie and probably have guys watching me masturbate like I do on my Skyp€ calls and I think I’d be ok with guys wanking near me or over me but that’s it as a married guy
I used to cam with a guy who would go to a sex club in the Derby area in the UK
He’d go weekday afternoons on the Cross Dressers day
He sent me pictures of him being surrounded by 4 or 5 guys also in lingerie all involved in masturbation over him
He had his boundaries of no oral contact between him and the other guys
No penetration of any kind and cum in his mouth.
As majority of the other guys were also married or in long term relationships they all abided by his wishes
I think that the dressing up and mutual benefit of the exhibitionist play and mutual masturbation was enough for them all to be satisfied
Thanks everyone, looks like a swinger club of some sort will be right place for us. Just need to organize a weekend trip away. Dont think we want to go to a local one and accidentally bump into someone from work
This ‘fear’ is often quoted too in naturist circles too. However in reality your neighbour or colleague would also think the same and probably go to the same distant place anyway.
As places for practising ‘niche’ lifestyles are more limited, then it’s likely you’d meet them somewhere along the line. But they couldn’t ‘out’ you without ‘outing’ themselves could they ?
If you’re wanting to be a bit more adventurous but don’t really want to share then maybe you could look into renting out a bdsm dungeon or room? It’s a pretty good way to experiment with loads of different toys, fetishes and other things (:
Also along the same lines as @Simon_101 has said if someone you know is there that you know then they are in to similar things and are likely to have the same kind of open mind and if they go oh by the way Joe was at this event then you can turn around and say I was and so were you.
We have done this. We just looked up local swingers club planned a suitable night and went. We made it clear we were only there to watch and everyone was so lovely. We had a few drinks and chatted to a few couples and singles. Some asked us to join but we declined. We sat and played with each other and watched everyone else. One couple were in a room having a mfm 3some with the door open. They invited us in to just watch. We ended up having sex in the same room but there was no involvement from the other people.
Honestly they were so friendly and understanding. Id give it a go
@ben85 so can I ask how far you went personally with your partner
Did you just fool around with foreplay or did you engage in oral or full penetration sex with the other people around?
How did people behave towards the singles?
As a married guy attending my own I would definitely be interested in the exhibitionist and voyeur I would be hesitant to join in with others
@chuckychester35 we ended up having full on penetration. Samantha is more open than i am and it was her idea. Watching her get so turned on by it was so hot. In definitely brought out her inner slut lol.
The whole place was clearly set up for couples and they invited a single man or single lady to join depending on their preference. The single men were chilling and chatting and watching waiting to be invited. A couple of times Samantha had a guy waving his cock at her lol but a simple no was enough.
The only thing we wernt prepared for was having to use pretection. We were obviously only planning on having sex with each other and we dont use condoms. Obviously there was a load that were readily available.
We are exactly the same as you, and wanted to enjoy a sex club for exhibitionism, voyeurism and just pure eroticism. We went to four or five different swingers’ clubs, including one in Berlin. The thing is: nobody is checking whether you are swapping with anybody else, and we estimated that up to a half of those at the club were either there for similar reasons as us, or testing the water and not necessarily committed, either way.
So we would thoroughly recommend it. We also found it a hundred per cent safe, in that no was always taken as no, although a few single guys took a little longer to get the message.
@ben85
Thank you for the comments
Definitely something I would love to try if I’m ever single again or have a partner that is interested in the exhibitionist stuff
Can I ask did any of the single guys masturbate while they were watching?
@Simon_101
Thank you for the feedback
Can I ask another question
So if you are being watched when you’re with your wife and the other person or people are just watching with no joining in does it make much difference to you if you find them attractive or not or is it just purely for the exhibitionist kink?
I find when I’m camming with guys a lot of it is about just showing off how excited I am and how much I’m enjoying wearing my lingerie or whatever I’m doing
If there’s some turn on because the other guy is wearing some sexy lingerie too or has an amazing body it does improve the excitement obviously
But it’s the exposure of my intimate feelings that really makes me excited
Thanks for all the advice guys, its been a great help and def pointed us in the right direction. Only big question now is how to find a good reputable swinger club to go to? Is there a trustworthy site or forum that would have a reliable list of active clubs?
Again I’m no expert but I was looking for local clubs yesterday
I found lots of conversations about them but most in sites that needed a log in
There’s also ads for at least two local clubs
My specific interest was the cross dressing events and I found only the one club did them
I guess you could join some of the local kink discussions and see where they lead
I’ve been camming on Skype€ years now
It’s obviously risky but I’m sure there’s swingers groups on there
I’m mainly camming with married guys who wear lingerie but I’ve got several really local guys who are definitely interested in meeting
It’s only my own reluctance to cheat on my wife stops me
So I’m sure you could find a way into the local swinging scene in a similar way
Just be careful with your personal information
