Sex life as a parent

Being a parent is tough but being a parent and maintaining an active sex life is very tough. What’s everyone’s hints an tips to getting over the exhaustion, interruptions and fear of waking them up etc?

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Grandparents. :grin:

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And lots of aunties :rofl:

We wait until the kid’s are in bed so we can have our fun :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: or if nanny takes them out for the day, we make the most of it, his sister has them at the end of May for the weekend so we can have our belated wedding anniversary away. We do make time so we can still get our hot steamy mind-blowing sex in the shower, we still get to have sex in the kitchen, but not as often as we like. To keep it active we send each other photos/videos, really erotic texts very descriptive

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I thought it would be better as they got older!! How wrong could I be, once we’d got passed night time feeds and our youngest started sleeping through bed time was no later than 8pm so we had hours to ourselves and boy did we have fun. But now with a 17 and 15 year old, bed times for us all is usually gone 11pm so it’s either quick sessions or late gone midnight sessions!!
So tempted to kick them out on the streets!!:grin::grin::grin:

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Don’t even think about it.

We already have our two grandsons 4 days a week.

It plays havoc with our sex lives.:blush:

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We have literally just got our almost 3 year old to sleep all night in his bed, so now we have lots more time in evenings and night! But before that it was stolen quickies in the living room so not to wake them or when they stayed with grandparents.

Sex was almost non existent for 3 years, not helped by my low sex drive after kids/on the pill too!

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My experience is try doing it when you can unfortunately there’s no special trick it’s when and if you feel in the mood sometimes a quickie is as good a a long session but we are different and have different needs! So sorry can’t give you any more advise

I dont think there a trick to it. We wait till they’re in bed. We try and get a day every month where we can really play when they’re at school. Hubby gets 1 Friday off a month and I only work till 12 on a Friday so we have a few hours to play or I book it off if we want longer.
In regards to tiredness you have to soldier on through it. :joy::rofl:

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I feel your pain mate… 17 and 13 boys… and they don’t sleep :sleepy:

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Each stage has presented its own challenges -

When we had one, he would go for an afternoon sleep, on weekends we used this opportunity for sex, but alas, he grew out of those sleeps and along came his sister. Two were definitely more problematic for sex, and I’m damn sure that young children come with a built in arousal 6th sense, as anytime there was a remote possibility of some action, one or both would magically appear!

The middle years weren’t too bad (5-12), they were obedient enough to go to bed freeing up time in the evenings and rarely woke. Weekend mornings became our time and for the most part these were uninterrupted.

Now we have two late teens who stay up later than us and are very much aware of what a closed door means. It still gets the odd sly / awkward look from our son, but daughter remains blissfully ignorant.

Take time when you can, even if you aren’t in the mood, nothing like some physical contact to start things moving.

Plan ahead, as others have said, grandparents / aunties are good for a quick break, but so can school time.

Redefine “sex”, maybe allow each other some alone time (especially a long bath or similar).

Keep the sexy feeling alive with naughty texts etc

lots of ways to make time, but it is something you have to prioritise as its easy to slip into the “too tired / too busy” routine and weeks or longer can fly by before you realise it.

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Make use of the good will of relatives to child mind periodically. If you have close friends who have kids, I’m sure they would reciprocate if you offered to look after their kids , to allow them some :wink: time.
I’ve often said to MrsIwill , if you wake in middle of night, don’t be put off waking me for some passion.
Just keep the flirting going and grab the opportunity and make sex the priority, when it cums up.

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With three kids 5 and under, I was reading this thread and hoping to find a magic solution :laughing:

We do have evenings to ourselves now they are all sleeping better however it doesn’t help as we are usually exhausted from looking after them and working.

We keep telling ourselves it will get easier :joy:

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Once they in bed & asleep…if we lucky!lol. Mine are 15,11,8&5. Youngest 2 are awful sleepers and constantly wake up through night.
Case of catching a few minutes when we can

My lads are avid gamers, so it’s sometimes a case of waiting until you can hear them both with their headphones on chatting to their mates, then taking the opportunity there and then :grin:

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@k8xxx It will get easier. We have three children (now 23, 27, and 30) and managed somehow. We didn’t do it as much as we do now, but we made it through. I remember the exhaustion and sometimes just decided another 30 minutes or so of no sleep (no time for a long session) will be worth it. Eventually you’ll look back and wonder where the time has gone.

The thing now, is when they come home to visit! Our biggest concern now is noise level :rofl:. When our daughter (then 22) came to live with us last March (until she got married and moved to Hawaii in December) it became a challenge again. At that point I decide just the thought of us having sex would gross her out enough to stay away or go to a friend’s house until late in the evening. She knew when we texted her and asked “When will you be home?” she knew she’d better stay away for awhile. :wink:

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@Subbedbyheels It won’t be long now. I recommend you set boundaries after they move out and let them know you need some notice (I mean at least 30 minutes, but more is better) before they come home. Also, they shouldn’t just burst through the door (they might not like what they see).

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We use gaming as an opportunity too. As a treat at weekends they get a couple of hours in the morning to play while we have a lie in but they must use headphones to keep the noise down.

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Tell me about it - before having kids the constant exhaustion wasn’t something i could have possibly imagined. We’ve only got one - how people manage to have a second I will never know

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Yeah having two under 10 can be fun, but certainly get a lot of sex now in comparison to when they were very very young and we were tired.

Can be a mix of evening sex and morning sex on the weekend when they are up playing etc. All good, no complaints though.

With two older teenagers and Covid it’s not the best. On the one hand it’s great when you no longer need a babysitter. On the other hand they are always here (gamer boy and introverted girl) and go to bed later than we do…

We resorted to putting a bolt on the inside of our bedroom door but spanking is out of the question and even with vibrators I’m hyper conscious they’ll hear it - stairs go up the middle of the house!

I have one toy with a dedicated on/off button - bliss! With the others I’ve had the horrifying experience of holding down the button for 3s to turn it off only to hit the wrong one and turn it up as one of them is passing :grimacing:

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