Sexual Goals

Sounds like you are going to have a lot of fun. Good for you. Its good for your health @excitedlulu

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Thanks, it really is getting exciting again. Feel young again :laughing: I will keep you updated to see how things go

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Having something to work towards together is a really good thing.

Ours are

Anal for me. Moving up from my smaller plugs to larger toys and eventually hubby

Public play. We both enjoy risk and would love to experiment more.

More photos and videos. We already have quite abit of content on fetlife and considered only fans till today’s announcement but I would love to do more.

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So, remember me saying one of my goals was to let my hubby cum in my mouth when giving him a bj? Well, the plan was for Friday as he has a day off, (we sleep in separate rooms due to snoring) well, we sneaked a quick bj in while our son was in the bath. Omg, I let him cum in my mouth…and I even swallowed it! His face was a picture! He was well happy & in shock I think. But then, omg, after a couple of seconds thinking, that weren’t so bad, a few seconds later I was in the bathroom almost throwing up! I wretched a few times, brushed my teeth, had to eat something (not cock) to get rid of the taste quickly. Then I had a sore throat from wretching! :laughing:
So hubby was well impressed then we both laughed because I was very nearly sick.
I will let him cum in my mouth again, but I will definitely be a spitter & not a swallower! :laughing:

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Honestly… My goal is to just have sex again.
To cut a long story short… Four years ago I met a guy, I fell for him and I thought we was going to be very sexually compatible… We wasn’t.
He was very vanilla and I didn’t do it for him… Throughout the whole 4 year relationship we had sex four or five times, total.
He packed his stuff and left me in secret in June so now I’m both thinking A why did I even bother and B I hope I actually get to have sex again one day… Because I’ve always been a very sexual person and being constantly turned down and kink shamed has really knocked my confidence… :pensive:

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I really hope everything works out for you. Sending positive thoughts :relaxed:

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I am sorry you feel let down. We need to build your confidence so that you can get out into the dating world. There will be people out there who will want you as a partner. Do not be put off. @muffinmuffinmuffin

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Hey @muffinmuffinmuffin you’re not alone…pick yourself and get yourself out there! And be honest with the people your dating about your likes/needs. At the very least you’ll know early on if you/they are compatible - although people’s interests/libidos do change over time. However I think it’s a lot more acceptable to talk about these things openly nowadays.

When I was dating (before I met my lovely wife through a dating site) I eventually came to the conclusion that it’s better to meet people for a coffee ‘early on’ and have these
Conversations (what you like (sexually or not), what your long term goals are (kids etc) so that you don’t end up spending a lot of time on a relationship only to feel cheated. I’ve been there, my sister has done this repeatedly and im sure plenty of others have too……just be yourself, be honest and open and then fingers crossed you will meet me/Mrs right!

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@muffinmuffinmuffin
Oh, I am sorry to hear of your experience in this relationship! You deserve love and happiness and lots of good sex. In my experience, finding the right partner begins with loving yourself. I am not just talking about masturbation, but I mean being really kind to yourself - positive affirmations rather than self-criticism, treats such as a Lovehoney toy or even lingerie (wear it for yourself!), looking after your own physical and mental health… you get the picture. Do activities you enjoy. If you learn to be happy with yourself, others will sense it and respond positively to you. You are then setting the stage to meet someone who will really appreciate you for yourself.

This approach has worked for me and my partner in spades. I worked on consciously practicing self-care for the past year, and now my partner and I are enjoying a renaissance and my sexuality has reawakened. So I wish you all good things and hope you will find - no, create! the happiness you deserve.:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Sexual goal , yes . With an inactive partner , it is a DIY program . So my goal is to keep myself active in as many ways as I can . I see what happens to gentlemen my age who do not keep active . They get lathargic and and do not show signs they are actually living life . I think an active sex life promotes well being .

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Sorry I deleted my last post and since tried to amend it, still figuring out the forums.

As my very casual OH is very casual I consider myself single, many of you know my history and at times I feel very inadequate sexually.

Having said that yes I do have goals however I fear that I may be too shy to say them to a proper boyfriend (casual doesn’t really work for me, I prefer regular and even like the thought of a date night)

Or if I get a proper boyfriend I may be able to discuss them quite openly. I need more toys though so constantly looking at the daily emails I receive :joy:

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Over my 6 decades plus it always amazes me how many people I have known often get the opposite partner than they want . I know people of both sexes that want an open affectionate partner they can snuggle with and enjoy life . The partners they get want nothing like that . The people that want a more open and distant relationship get a clinger . My best sexual match ever had zero interest in getting married . We had many interests in common and were sexually a perfect horny and fun match . Hang in there girl !

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I am sure you will find the toys to assist you here. LH are a wonderful company. I am also sure there is a partner out there for you. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

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@tpatch I totally agree with your suggestions and comments about the importance of self care. It’s like being the best version of yourself (as cheesy as that sounds!).

I’ve recently decided to set some goals too. I want to be more proactive sexually.

My goals include:
I want to swallow my husband’s cum more often as I know he loves it, but it made me gag a bit when I have done it in the past. I’ve found that licking the cum off his cock as he cums is a turn on for us both and it’s not overwhelming like taking a full load in my mouth.

Practising being and staying ‘in the zone’ when masturbating. I find my mind wanders off a lot, I lose focus and I just can’t orgasm.

Drop the guilt about spending time masturbating and have open conversations about masturbating with husband.

Spice it up with some lingerie. I’m thinking something like a body stocking or a strappy bra set (a bit bondage-like) and killer heels. My husband would never expect me to wear anything like this, so I can’t wait to see his face :heart_eyes:

Communicating better about sex. It’s so easy to get used to not talking about it, life stuff gets in the way.

Flirt more with husband. I’m loving the
innuendo we have started over the last few weeks :yum:

Lastly, I’d like to try pegging but I think that’s way off!

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I have recently discovered the term ‘Irrumatio’ and having seen some videos with that in the name it looks exactly the gentler level of dominance in a blowjob that appeals to me as a male, I have done this to my wife in small measures prior to discovering it as a thing and now I want it more.

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To be able to give my husband a BJ. Never been able to, I’ve always hated the thought, still frequently do. I’m getting closer to the point of wanting to, especially when in the mood, as I know he’d like it but too in my head and don’t know what I’m doing so never confident enough to just do it.

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We set sexual goals or challenges every year, like New Year’s Resolutions, but we try to stick to them. Usually involves doing more of something, or bigger or longer or something new. It has been great at getting us to progress.

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You could just start by touching and kissing around it, then maybe the odd lick up and down his shaft. Then if you do feel comfortable, you could try kissing, licking the tip? Then if you feel comfortable go from there.
I always thought you had to ‘blow’ it years ago, but soon found out you needed to suck.
I’ve only recently really started getting into giving deep throat and really enjoying giving BJs. But he does have to be fresh out the shower.
But he does sort me out in return.
Perhaps discuss it with him. Take it in turns to lick each other

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Update on my goals now that it’s been a few weeks!

Blow Jobs - I’m still gagging a bit when his precum starts coming out :roll_eyes: I got the LH cherry lube :cherries: and that has helped a lot. I like the taste of it, so I ordered the LH strawberry lube too to compare :strawberry: (arriving later this week). I also saw in some other threads that a lot of guys like wet sloppy blow jobs, so I’ve been salivating more on his dick, and that’s making it a bit easier for me (and no complaints from him :+1:) Also, the last couple times have been in front of a big mirror so he could enjoy the view :bum2: I was planning to let him cum on my face today (that would’ve been a first), but he sprayed straight up and then it oozed down the sides of his cock. It was funny, he was like, I’m about to cum, quick! Why don’t you have a tissue!?! Well, that spoiled that surprise for him :sweat_smile: Still working up to letting him cum in my mouth. I’m still worried I might gag and throw up on him (and he would feel terrible if that happened)… But I feel like my technique is getting better, and while he’ll turn me down sometimes when I want to masturbate together or have sex, he never turns down a blow job :ok_hand:

Anal - I had a couple days here and there the past few weeks that I skipped anal play, and man, my hole just shrinks back down if I skip a day :confused: I’ve been enjoying my beads and small plugs, but my biggest plug (4 inches at the widest point) hurts if I haven’t had anything up my butt the day before… He got two fingers in during foreplay this week (he had only ever put in one before then) so I’m feeling positive! I’m also starting to really enjoy climaxing with anal stimulation (combined with clitoral stimulation). I found another plug I want to get to wear for longer periods before our anal play together so that I can be stretched out a little more beforehand!

It will take some time, but I’m happy to see that I’m making some progress here and there :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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It sounds like you are making very good progress and i am very impressed with your open mind in at least trying new things. I love the updates. @PKH

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