Sexual Goals

Sex Tips & Talk
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So, I’ve always just masturbated and had sex to feel good in the moment, but lately I’ve been thinking about how I want to enjoy it even more. I’m having so much fun using sex toys. I’m happy with the relationship I’m in. I thought it would be good to have some sexual goals, things that I want to improve or work toward. These are my current goals:

Blow Jobs - I stopped giving my husband blow jobs for a long time because I don’t like the taste or texture of precum on the back of my tongue, but recently, thinking about giving a good blow job makes me really horny, so I’ve been doing it more. He knows that was the main reason why I stopped giving him oral, so if he notices a drip of precum, he’ll quickly get a tissue and wipe it, and so of course he has never cum in my mouth. I’d like to get to where I can enjoy cum in my mouth. My progress so far: I’m taking it in a bit deeper every time (working on my breathing and gag reflexes because I’d like to take him in my throat), trying different positions for oral, moving my tongue and lips in different ways (seeing some of the different blow job toys has given me ideas), and trying to get used to the salty taste of his precum so I can associate the taste with being horny (also got some flavored lube that I haven’t tried yet). (Edit: updates here and here)

Anal Sex - We had anal sex a few times (maybe 3-4 times) early in our marriage, like 12 years ago. I wasn’t really interested in doing it, but he really wanted to, so I was fine to try it. We had no idea that anal sex required prep, so he’d just put it straight in, but somehow, the first couple times, I was really relaxed, so it didn’t hurt. He loved it because I let him go in bareback (always wears a condom piv), but I didn’t really feel anything from it, so I just laid there til he was done. Then the next time he put it in, it hurt SO SO SO bad. After that, I didn’t let him come near my ass, and he didn’t bring up anal again, knowing it gave me a bit of trauma. But starting about a year ago, he started rubbing my hole (only on the outside) when he’d be fingering my vagina or rubbing my clit, and then once in a while, he’d ask if he could put in just the tip of his finger when he’d be touching me. I noticed it was feeling good to have this stimulation, so when we got into sex toys this summer, we ordered a few different sized butt plugs and anal beads - and anal lube of course! Honestly, I still get freaked out when something starts going into my butt, so here’s where I’m at: I’m working on getting used to the feeling by fingering my butt with a finger cot and lube when I the shower and him fingering my butt during foreplay and using smaller plugs and beads. Trying to get more comfortable and gain more confidence before moving on to bigger toys and the real deal. (Edit: updates here and here)

I haven’t told my husband about my goals yet because I’m a little embarrassed that I’m trying so hard with the blow jobs, but he is very happy to cooperate, and I don’t really want to tell him that I want anal sex, because I feel like it will either get his hopes up or he’ll try to assure me that we don’t need to do it… Anyways, that’s what I’m up to :slightly_smiling_face:

What about you? Do you have any sexual goals or anything new that you’d like to try?

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I’d like to try loads but I know my partner wouldn’t up for some of it (which is completely fine and I respect that), but some things I’d love to try would be

Using a dildo vibrator on my partner. I know she’d absolutely love it but hasn’t ever tried it. Would love for her and us to experience it.

I’d love her to gag me. I’ve bought a bit gag months ago but haven’t yet plucked up the courage to get it out with her. I think she’d be ok with it albeit she won’t want it on her which is ok. Similarly, I’d like to experiment with wax play.

I’ve been getting a bit of a weird recent urge to wear some of her lingerie and have tried some stockings on in private. Not really sure how she’d react, think it’ll have to be really baby steps.

Finally, love the idea of chastity as an experiment. We talk about it and she said she’d give it a go on me but I’m slightly apprehensive despite the fantastic reviews by the likes of @Senator and @rockstar

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@PKH - You may already know this, but… something your husband (or both of you, I guess) can do to make oral easier for you is to think about and modify what he eats and drinks.

Famously, fresh pineapple is supposed to make his juices taste better, but in general the dietary advice for better-tasting cum is exactly what you’d expect: i.e. the “cut it out” list includes caffeine, smoking, strongly-flavoured spirits, very spicy food, fried food/junk food etc., while the “more of that please” list involves lots of fresh fruit and veg, and plenty of water. In other words (whooda thunk it??) if you put fresh, healthy stuff into your body, your jizz tastes nicer! :grin:

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No goals, if things happen things happen

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@PKH If you want the experience of him cumming in your mouth you could try using a flavoured condom. He probably prefers bareback but it’s a step. I find it satisfying when my partner cums in my mouth. You feel the veins pulsing and the contractions and the hot load. One tip: if you ever get to the point where he can cum in your mouth and you swallow, start swallowing straight away as it is coming, don’t let it fill your mouth first. That way you hardly taste it except for a bit of saltiness. Personally, I like the taste but it is a learned behaviour. Nice to see you have goals and I wish you luck.

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This sounds like a great idea to try and who doesn’t love a goal to work towards!

I’d say my goal is to first get into a relationship as I’ve had beyond bad luck

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I recently had a talk with my OH about things we’d like to try. Mine is playing with large toys and I’d love for him to be able to fist me. I felt really embarrassed telling him this because I thought he would think it’s a bit weird but he was generally positive about it. It’s going to take a lot of time to build up to but we’re working towards it.

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I think that having a sex goal is a good thing. It gives you something to aim for and also raises your game to new heights.

My aim is to deep throat my husband. I quite like him to cum on my mouth as apart from tasting salty it is not unpleasant to me. I am practicing relaxing my gag reflex as I want him to cum in my throat went I am able. However it’s not something that is immediately doable. It is taking time but we are both enjoying the practice.

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Well done, @Kitty-Cat01 :+1: :slightly_smiling_face:

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I think having some goals is a fun idea. I did this early on when i started tryig to work out what i liked. The list has gotten shorter but i still find things to add.

Id like to start dating. Havent the foggiest how to go about this apart from trying internet dating. But its all pretty hypothetical at the moment due to the current situation. Still, researching some dating sites and getting comfy with the idea is progress.

Id like to work up to being able to take a realistic sized dildo anally. Im almost there with plugs but it may take a bit of practice till i get there with a dildo as i don’t want to rush things.

I want to get out of the rut ive gotten into where i (due to being tired) skim over the foreplay. Its something i really enjoy, but im just out of the habit of letting myself relax and spend time on myself as opposed to rushing things because i always have one ear out for people coming to the door :woman_facepalming: living in a shared house has its downsides.

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I think goals are healthy in a couples and singles situation! My partner and I both have goals for ourselves and together. Mine are:

Anal: both giving and receiving. I’ve tried it alone and want to more but I also want to get the courage to try it with a partner. Ive enjoyed my solo experiences so far to say the least.

Dom/Sub: I would like to try and be more dominating and more submissive. I always get nervous being dominant that I’ll hurt or offend my partner. She’s never had any complaints but it is hard for me to let go and dish out some punishment. This is funny because I have a hard time letting go and giving someone full control. Both of these sound like full ecstasy. Anyone have any tips?

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For myself it’s prostate massage. Something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and been flat out reading reviews for which toy to buy.
Also want to practice edging more with OH. Would do it often when home alone, but have never done it with the missus beside me.
OH’s only goal is to become more body confident. We both know that when she feels comfortable with her figure her libido will be back to where it was during university days (high demand).

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Before I got with hubby I never experienced anything sexual due to no confidence and abuse.
So when we got together I got confidence and had plenty of sexual goals.
Different positions, and plenty of them.
Having orgasm’s.
Masturbation, on my own and with eachother.
Oral, for both of us.
Using toys, by myself and him using on me.
Anal.
Sexy lingerie.
Roleplay.
Cumming in my mouth and swallow.
Cumming in my ass.
Cumming on my face and boobs.
Golden shower.
Titty fuck.
Phone sex.
Sending explicit texts/photos.
And a few months ago I told him I would like to try Dom/Sub role’s, he was more than happy to oblige and now we both love it. I just love being at his mercy and him having total control over me and ordering me about.

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Definitely love having goals. Current ones are:

  1. Prostate play with OH. She knows I’ve done some solo stuff and is encouraging of it, just need to work up the nerve to include her and also have the right conditions where I can prep beforehand and feel comfortable and clean.

  2. Once we’ve gotten around to the above and are comfortable, moving on to pegging. We’ve talked about it a bit and I recently bought a harness and a slim dildo to go with it. She hasn’t tried on the harness yet, but I’m excited to see how she feels with it on. From what I’ve read on the forums some ladies really seem to like the feeling of wearing a strap on.

  3. I’d really like to watch my wife ride the suction cup dildo we have. I used it on her a couple weeks ago and she enjoyed it, but I get so turned on by the idea of watching her use it. We’ve done a little mutual masturbation with the toys in the past, but we always end up together at the end (no complaints).

  4. She recently tried the kegel balls I got her, and said they were alright. We also have a remote control love egg that she enjoys and I’d love to take her out while she has it in.

  5. More filming. I love having some pics and vids of us, and I’d like to eventually do something a bit more thought out than quick cell phone videos.

As far as anal for her, there was a time where she was more curious about it like, 10 years ago, and I remember going on a mad dash to try and find a store that was open where I could buy some lube, but none of the shops were open and she seems to have lost interest in it after that one night. I’ve done it before with a couple ex-girlfriends, and if she was interested I’d do it, but I’m also not really pushing it.

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@AJSTAR Not being in a relationship when you want one is a lonely feeling. I sympathize. AJ you seem like a thoughtful, intelligent and caring person with a lot to offer. I hope you realize your dreams and find someone extra-special.

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Bless you that’s really sweet to say thank you :pray:
Yes it’s a very lonely place to be stuck in when the heart yearns for affection

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Safewords. Safewords, safewords, safewords! Decide on some and stick to them. :slightly_smiling_face:

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I used to quite like giving BJs but then I used to get a sore jaw & went off the taste. Had a break from it, and now I don’t mind the taste, and I love giving BJs. I get extremely turned on doing it. My hubby is loving it. I used to duck out the way when he came, now I don’t mind it on me, and now play with it. I let him come in my mouth once, years ago, and it was horrible & warm, but now, I’m going to give it a go, so that is my main goal.
We’ve never done anal, my hubby was keen, but I never was, but I’m willing to try it. I’ve not discussed it with him yet, but I’ve bought stuff, I’ve tried a small but plug, its strange but ok. I’ve been getting closer to his butt each time I’ve given him a BJ recently, and his started to notice a wee bit, think its really turning him on, so thats another goal, but will discuss it with him.
He’s got a day off next week, friday. So we will have a few hours to ourselves and we can make as much noise as possible, cannot wait!

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We have one! We are still nervous though :laughing:

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Sounds like you are going to have a lot of fun. Good for you. Its good for your health @excitedlulu

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