While cleaning the house as usual wearing only my cock cage, I noticed these strange circular rings on our shower glass divider, I have noticed them for a few months but not really thought about it at all, just cleaned them off, but a few days ago while tidying up my wife’s wardrobe I found a box with a very large and lifelike dildo in it, after handling it for a bit, I realised the suction cup matched the rings on the shower glass.
My wife uses it in the shower.
I myself have not had intercoarse with her for 5 years now, after she told me she no longer wants sex with me.
Since I recently told her that I needed some type of release she decided that I should be locked away for my own good to be released in her own good time, which is on Saturday mornings for a hand job only, but thats another story.
Do I have the right to confront her about her behaviour in the shower?
I suppose it all according. It sounds like you have a 24/7 dynamic. Correct me if im wrong. If so, is there anything in there that specifies that she can use dildos for her own enjoyment. What were the reasons of her not wanting sex anymore.
I would say talk to her. If youre not happy with it tell her. You have as much say in your dynamic as she does.
She told me sex with her hurts, but I am just a little over 6 inches, this dildo is almost 9 inches.
Over the last 5 years i had come to realise that it is her body, she has the right to refuse me, but now, what should I believe? Even though I am happily in a Sub relationship with her, and to be honest I am somewhat glad I no longer have to please her that way, I do feel ashamed that she no longer needs me that way. I do still please her by going down on her when told to, and I enjoy my Saturday mornings.
I just can’t stop thinking about her doing that in the shower, if I confront her maybe I could watch?
Love sex and marriage usually go together, It never dawned on me that a wife of so many years would reject her adoring husband, for any reason. We love each other. I love her, yes it took a while for me to accept and understand that love is not dependant on sex. But I am still reluctant to discuss sex with her as, I really do not understand female logic, I rarely know when I am in trouble, even though I have dedicated my life to her.
I also have, at last blood test, a higher than normal testosterone level which does effect my sex drive, but we have come to a happy lifestyle.
This is a doozie of a situation. Thank you for the additional information as the conversation has gone on. People have put some very valid points to you.
Here are some that spring to my mind.
As a sub to your wife. She as you dominant does not need to explain herself to you unless you agreed to open communication and review times in your 24/7 domination.
As a husband in a caring partnership where you both work together are you feeling set aside and put out? When you are physically able but have been reduced to a Saturday morning?Do you fear she has cockolded you without your consent or understanding
Do you fear she has been cheating on you if she can physically take the dildo but has denied you repeatedly?
Do you have the right to ask the question your thinking it depends!
As a sub to your wife it depends on that communication aspect of the Dom/sub life from here you probably don’t
In any other respect! Yes. If you believe you are in a relationship that is built on love, trust, fairness and the fact you care enough for each other to know what’s going on and wish to help each other and support.
Thanks for the reply,
I constantly fight with my masculine or dominant side, I prefer the submissive side of me, but I do want to talk about things, but alas, my wife does not.
She does what she does, no consultation, after 35 years of marriage I know no more about her than when I met her.
Our current situation sort of evolved, there was no consultation other than I informed her of my needs, and she just went with it.
As far as what she is doing in the shower, well, if she wanted to let me know, she would have, after all it is a very private thing to do.
Yes.
I would like her to tell me, show me, although I am jealous of her dildo, and yes there is some part of me that wants to watch, but I do not want to rock the boat, so to speak, but as I said earlier.
I do not understand women and what they think of any situation, I have a poor record of pleasing her.
And she does spank really really hard! On my balls
Joining back in to the conversation i would still talk to her. Im the sub in our marraige. Our agreement is that i can have thoughts and opinions and we charck in to see whats working, whats not, what may or may not need changing etc.
Even in the strictest of dynamics, ie slave and master/mistress where from the outside it looks like the slave has no rights, opinions or say etc, the sub carries responsibilities to not only ensure they are pleasjng their master/ mistress but to ensure their own physical and mental health is being kept at a healthy level, in the same way the Dom in this sotuation has a responsibility to their slave to ensure they are helping to ensure this is happening.
Its obviously bothering you and eventually resentment will set in if you dont talk.
Im assuming that she was happy for you to find it, unless you shouldnt have been in her wardrobe so is probably waiting for you to mention it.
I’m going with what others have said here. I think communication is vital, but careful, delicate communication - this is a sensitive matter for your wife. You need to tell her that you now know what she does, that you’re not mad and you’re actually quite turned on by it, and ask if she would she let you watch sometime. She may enjoy that too - she may enjoy cuckolding you (with the dildo) in front of you, in which case that’s a win for both of you!
I’m going to go slightly against @JGood here (I may never to live this one down ) but I don’t personally play by “I’m Dom, you’re sub, you don’t have a right to my business” dynamics - I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I don’t like it one bit. You’re partners in this, which means to say that you have as much say as she does. Unless you have a 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) type dynamic in which you have consciously and willingly surrended full control to her. At least to me, that’s the only exception.
It sounds to me like this realisation has hurt you, even if it has aroused you too, and that hurt needs to be addressed. You’re feeling put out somewhat, reduced maybe, to your Saturday morning handjob. Could she enjoy one of her dildos while she gives you a handjob and berates you how only a Dom can? That could play into your desires as a submissive, but you need to be able to have a conversation about it all first.
I’m also deeply concerned about her saying that sex with you hurts her, only for her to go and buy a dildo bigger than you in size. You at least deserve an explanation on that one. She may enjoy cuckolding you as much as you enjoy being cuckolded and that’s fine, but you at least deserve not to be lied to if that is the truth.
Good luck, and I hope you manage to work it all out
Me personally I wouldn’t be very happy with not having a sex life with a wife and then finding out that she’s doing that with a bigger dildo than you. I get this all mite be a sensitive subject but is there something else going on or someone? I know if my wife was to say that sex hurt with me and that was it I’d be like well surely all the sex we had when we first met was great so what’s changed. It’s not like I’ve got bigger or you’ve got smaller? So there’s definitely something else going on .
To be honest, this sounds like you need professional help.
If you haven’t had sex for five years, that doesn’t sound like a healthy marriage. Her not only using a dildo whilst refusing you but also concealing the fact doesn’t sound healthy either, and neither does her locking you away for your own good to be released in her own good time with a handjob only.
Are you happy with your current situation? I think using cages for play and fun is fine. But for an actual punishment without the sex. I find that cruel.
Do you want to be in this situation? I’d be wondering why she is obviously sexually active but not wanting to with you. I’d definitely want answers to that if it was me and I’d really think about whether you are happy with this arrangement or not.
Hmm sounds like it does need some sort of conversation about as I reckon if not already it’ll be playing on your mind for weeks with loads of questions
Thankyou for your advice,.
It is not possible to summarise a whole lifetimes marriage in a few sentences, some of the replies give accurate advice but given our relationship I don’t believe going to her and revealing my concerns will help.
My wife has a lifelong habit of ignoring anything that she does not want to deal with. I have experienced it many many times. She will stonewall any issue until it fades away.
I know she is NOT having an affair with anyone else, we are together constantly, even shopping together. I thought she may have earlier, years ago with a neighbour, but not since. I know that.
24/7 we have a pretty normal relationship, I go and work on my cars, lawn, home maintenance etc. but when she wants something, she is the priority. I love her, there is no thought of any separation, we rely on each other, certainly I, to her.
I am happy with our current situation ie. her control over me, I love the cage, sexual control over me, and my Saturday masterbation allowance. So as much as I need more (attention) sexually. If I mention her showering with her 9inch friend, I may be starved of any sex at all.
I am pretty certain that she will deny, deny, deny and cut me off completely.
In a way I feel that just knowing what she is doing in there gives me some advantage over her. And to be honest I find it very arousing. After all it’s not every shower, just occasionally, that’s why it took so long to notice the marks on the glass.
Actually just yesterday morning she allowed me to touch her without giving permission first, something that has not happened since she told me No Sex 5 years ago. Boy was my cage under pressure.
She sure does keep me on edge, which I love.
Maybe, just maybe after yesterday she is relenting a little? Again I am afraid to rock the boat!
.
If you are content with the current arrangement then don’t rock the boat.
Can you expand on the “she allowed me to touch her without giving permission” How did that occur? Perhaps she wants you to touch her, but doesn’t know how to vocalise her wants and needs to you.
I usually start each morning by waking her with a back rub, or massage, which as I become bolder, progresses to exploring ger body, if I go anywhere near her breasts or between her legs. I get told “NO” and move away.
There is one area that arouses me, I don’t know why but it does.
The junction of her thigh and belly just below her panty line just above her pubic area for some reason it arouses me, there is nothing sexual but I love caressing that area, which she does allow. edited by mod but she didn’t show any sign of acknowledgement.
Actually No I remember, there was no ring on the shower glass, so she showered without the dildo!
) but I don’t personally play by “I’m Dom, you’re sub, you don’t have a right to my business” dynamics - I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I don’t like it one bit. You’re partners in this, which means to say that you have as much say as she does. Unless you have a 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) type dynamic in which you have consciously and willingly surrended full control to her. At least to me, that’s the only exception.
