Hello Abihgail here ,
My partner wants to use the paddle and flogger on my bare bottom - I prefer to keep my knickers on so that I have a protective layer of material to reduce the pain and stings from the paddles and floggers - my partner tells me i'm being a silly girl and he wants to spank my bare bottom ! - should I keep my knickers on or not ?
its totally upto you, if you are new to it then maybe keeping them on might be a good place to start, I personally love it on my bare bottom, and although it does sting, that is kinda the point :-)
Do you start off wearing knickers and you're partner removes them ?
no but he does start off gentle and gradually start getting harder so it gives time for the endorphines to build up, rather than going straight for a hard smack which would probably get him the wrong kind of reaction, and there is lots of communication between us when he is doing it. We have a small suede flogger which looks nice but isn't really painful maybe you should start out with something like that.
Abigail, if I'm totally honest I really like having my bottom spanked with a pair of white cotton panties on. That does add to the experience I find. The knickers does help with softening the pain of spanking a little but I loved it when my girlfriend would make me put the white knickers on and then photograph the redness against the white knickers after she had spanked me!
My partner starts off to smack my bottom with his hand , by the time he gets to the paddle & flogger he wants my knickers off !! - i am scared of the pain - hence I wanted protection from the knicker material.....................
Have you got much experience of spanking Abigail?
very little , hence I was looking for advice
Abigail, I honestly think that if your not into it you shouldnt feel pressured into doing it just because your oh wants you to do it, its something that you both need to be into and happy with.
Paddles aren't that painful its more of a sting that last a few seconds at the most, but then it does depend on how hard he hits you, I have never had a bruise from a paddle and my oh has hit me really hard with them.
We are looking to spice up our sex life , my experience is low - I was never smacked as a child , hence I am excited and scared to receive a red hot bottom ! - he wants me knickerless so that he can play with my 'pussy' , i'm just scared of the pain , i believe the floggers can really really sting !!!!!!!!!
there is only one way to find out and thats to try it, I am a believer in trying things before deciding against anything, I think that spanking can be mild and still leave you with a pink bottom, I find my there is much more paid from a bare hand than a flogger or even our crop
We are still deciding waht to purchase , I was thinking about the leather & suede paddle and the luxury two tone flogger - I decided that a crop would be too painful - still don't know wheather to wear knickers or not !
I completely agree with Boobaloo! You both need to be comfortable with it and if you feel knickers gives you a bit of protection I would go for it! My girlfriend was able to reach round and stroke my cock when she was spanking me through knickers! It is entirely your choice. I do like the paddle if I'm honest more than the hand. Suggest to him that between strokes he pulls your knickers to the side that way he can still play with you. It is definitely a trust issue and also what you are comfortable Abigail x
Abigail911 wrote:
We are still deciding waht to purchase , I was thinking about the leather & suede paddle and the luxury two tone flogger - I decided that a crop would be too painful - still don't know wheather to wear knickers or not !
crops are painful, the suede flogger is very gentle and might be a good place to start, you can also use it to stroke softly down each others back, that feels so nice. i think that a suede paddle would be more gentle than a leather one as it has a softer feel to it, we have the leather slut one, and the sound is made from the 2 pieces coming together not really from the leather hitting you so it sounds much harsher than it really is
Do you still get a sting from the suede flogger ? I do want to feel some pain to wake up the sensations - does he use the flogger like a whip and whips my lower legs and bottom ? - does he whip me between the legs
Abigail911 wrote:
Do you still get a sting from the suede flogger ? (yes - but does depend on how hard he hits you)
I do want to feel some pain to wake up the sensations - does he use the flogger like a whip and whips my lower legs and bottom ? - does he whip me between the legs (its completely upto you, I find the legs much more painful than the bottom area)
kinkyKev,
My partner does not want to pull my knickers to the side ( he doesn't want them to be soaking wet ) , he would much prefer that they were off from the start ! - he thinks I should enjoy getting a red hot bottom !!
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15736
Abigail you could try this paddle. I would tend to agree with Boobaloo re spanking between legs, I found it more painful too. I think if that's the case, you really do need to have a conversation with him. It depends on how submissive you are and how dominate he is I would suggest.
Maybe a little start with the knickers on before you start getting soaking may be an idea, that is assuming you will get soaking if it does turn you on hun.
We'll start off with the paddle - he just needs to touch me with his fingers to turn me on !!! - He doesn't like my knickers getting damp ! - he prefers them off by then !
Abigail, I'd suggest you establish a safe word with your partner. A word you can both use that unequivocally means "stop that right now, come out of character, I'm no longer comfortable with this". It should not be "ouch" "stop" or "that hurts" as these are all quite normal & pleasant things to say and/or hear when you're indulging in a bit of pain.
I can understand your nerves, but rest assured your nerves are a fun part of the experience for both of you. Spanking, whipping, flogging, etc releases all kinds of endorphines in your body and I love being on the receiving end - I find it exhilarating.
To rate my experiences in order of pain from least to most painful:
long luxury flogger, hand, paddle, small cheap flogger, riding crop, cane
Hope this helps - I found BDSM a little daunting at first but now I really love it - it's a treat, not a punishment.
I hope you enjoy it
CCW x