Spanking only relationships


I posted on another thread about a discussion about how much I have really missed being properly spanked. I used to love it but for various reasons it has drifted out of my life. My husband isn’t at all in to it and when we have tried it, he has found it excruciating. I had sort of given up.

But I got chatting to someone about it and things have progressed to the possibility of an arrangement where he would spank me every so often, and nothing more.

I have got to the stage where I love the idea and want to start but something is holding me back. Has anyone here experienced this and how did it go?


Anna xxx

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I consider being able to deliver a precise spank while your partner enjoys it to be a talent

I learnt that it’s not easy and I used to cheat in the past when spanking my husband that the spank had to be delivered to a precise area and so when he was needing a hard long spank I used lipstick to draw on his bottom so I could aim

My husband is always in need of a hard spank and I remain in character when doing so and use a few tricks when spanking him as I don’t want him to be hurt - I slow it down and often change paddles to those that make a better whack sound over the cane that is more severe . If he wants a very long spank I get him to wear his wet look knickers as these protect the bum area a lot more

As you may know I sometimes visit my friend who is a professional dominatrix and I have seen her professional skills and it’s sad that some men have to use a dom when their own partner cannot get their heads around the fact - it’s a pleasure (although kinky) and not something wrong

Hope you get a good spanking soon :paddle:


I’m a bit like your husband and not really into spanking, Personally I would not like another man spanking my wife but if your relationship is up or that then give it a go. All parties must be in agreement and communication is key. Its lovely to hear from you on the forum. I hope everything is going well and your recent child / husband are ok. Love you loads @anna.michelsburg

Yes. That resonates very much.

I need to be properly spanked.

A very sore red bottom, exactly the right place on both cheeks. It should bring tears to my eyes and even make me cry. Very few men can do it properly but the ones that can really do deliver.

Like you, I need to be in character. Waiting, hands crossed on my knees, looking down, and then confessing to something. I know I am going to be spanked and have to confess to make it happen. Then I strip off and bend over the sofa or bed and it starts.

My husband just can’t do that.


I have nothing to add to this from experience other than - so long as he knows about it and is comfortable with the arrangement (and things don’t progress from spanks only), then go for it and enjoy!!

Hubby has sort of indicated that there could be a don’t ask don’t tell component to it.

Vital story keeping and never show affection or concern - I spank my husband about twice a week but every so often I spank him early morning (about 5am) - and go all the way - dress up and multiple whips/ canes/ crops / paddles

I personally enjoy giving him the spanking he wants - in the past I posted on here his after bottom - but it was removed …

Can I ask - I have noted some people like to be spanked / caned on the bottom of the feet - is this a thing you have done :paddle:

We have only just moved in to impact play and my wonderful wife was very dubious about hitting me at first but, as always, agreed to give it a try.

She has now realised that

  1. She is causing me no lasting damage.

  2. I absolutely love being paddled, flogged and cropped.

She has started to take a pride in the marks she is leaving on my skin to the point that she is now taking photos to show me how well she is doing.

It’s such a shame that your husband cannot share your pleasure in this activity

No, never liked the feet thing. Well never tried it but I can’t imagine I would enjoy it.

It has always been about proper spanking for me. On the first couple of occasions it was playful and I didn’t think much of it but an ex bf who was older and divorced, years ago, did it properly one evening. You know, cross with me for flirting with one of his friends; over his knee, knickers down, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Since then I have just loved it but it has to be deserved and I have to be in character, like you say. I think only about 4 men could probably do it for me since then and I have really missed it over the last few years.

Anyway, I will make a decision this weekend, the first one is provisionally on Monday.


I discussed your issue with my husband and he says he likes to spank me - but the tears is an issue and he could not continue if he was spanking a woman in tears(and neither could I)

I hope you get your spanking soon - my husband is looking forward to the weekend- hard spanking is in the menu

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I could do with s good spanking

I can’t explain the tears. It’s not proper crying like when you really go over on your ankle.

But it is a sign that it is being done properly. I think it is that an adequate threshold of confident spanking has been reached. The guy who is bothered by the tears wouldn’t be able to spank in a way that generates them. Does that explain it?

I like that you chatted to your husband about it, pass on my thanks for his thoughts.


What about using a “safe word”?

If a pre-agreed “safe word” was spoken by the recipient, that would be the signal to the provider that it was time to stop the impact play.

Tears shed by the recipient are triggered by the endorphin rush caused by the pain and discomfort of the spanking/impact play.

The pain (and endorphin rush) caused in the recipient during a spanking, can be either an enjoyable and exhilarating experience of being spanked/humiliated, or be deemed one of extreme discomfort.

Different people have different pain thresholds, but using a pre-agreed “safe word” should signal that the recipient needs the impact play to stop immediately.

I agree with your comments that you want a good hard spanking without the person who is spanking you stopping .

I have a loving wife and she does her best but finds it difficult to go beyond spanking me when my bum starts going pink

I have told her time after time that I need a good hard spanking and have done things in the past to annoy her so she takes out her frustration on me - it helps but not enough

Last year I discovered a local dominatrix locally and discussed this with my wife who agreed I should try - and she was perfect- a 2 hour session of hard spanking and humiliation and my bottom was then sore for about a week

My wife was horrified after looking at the marks but I said it’s what I want - since then my wife has improved her spanking and the dominatrix I use has even said she would be happy to show my wife how to dominate me and spank me the way I want. I’m trying to get my wife to come with me to show the techniques

I hope you get your spanking soon - I know I will :paddle:

Well, I’ll find out at 11.

Nervous doesn’t describe it.

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I wish you good luck, I hope it turns out to be just what you wanted. Make sure you tell us how it turned out. @anna.michelsburg

You @anna.michelsburg, nervous…Nah!!! Have fun.
Looking forward to your reply :grin:

Thank you for posting this, a really interesting read.

Just for my own curiosity, can I ask how you approached this subject with your partner?

The reason I ask is because I, like yourself, love being spanked however I’m less about the pain but more about the role play and a “lighter” sensation of around 5/10 pain threshold. Nothing better than being on all fours, being told not to move (especially my hands) and being spanked from behind…

For my birthday last year I asked to get into character and my partner really got on board and it was fantastic. However, we haven’t gotten into character since and she finds it difficult to do and doesn’t really enjoy it. She is willing to do on special occasions but not willing outside of this.

I’ve never even thought of a “spanking only relationship” and I’m curious to know more;

  • do you intend to touch yourself during/after the session to orgasm?
  • is it solely for the spanking then leaving and going straight home afterwards (for example)
  • how does your partner feel about this and has it caused any friction in the relationship. I’m very concerned if I approach my partner with this suggestion she would get upset and it would cause irreversible damage to the relationship.

Sorry for my questions. It sounds like fantastic fun and I really hope you get what you want from it… not jealous at all haha enjoy!!!

Well @anna.michelsburg I suspect things have gone very well we are now 7 hours after your meet so would think your bottom knows it has been well and truly spanked. Sitting down may not be an option today. :smiling_face_with_tear: :smiling_face_with_tear: :smiling_face_with_tear:

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Well kids a school, quick reply before a power walk to yoga on a very crisp lovely morning.

It was perfect.

Both easily in character from the outset, which is important even though a little contrived. I had to confess and in a very sexy way he didn’t believe that I was confessing to something that I really needed to confess to, so me made me confess to a real secret.

He then said that I knew what this meant and I stood up and he watched me strip and then said he wanted a coffee so left me standing while me made the coffee and drank it!

Then it started, he walked beside me, I bent over the sofa and he absolutely walloped me, about 10 slaps to both cheeks, properly brought tears to my eyes and then some whimpering. Once done, he was a perfect gentleman, no sexual comments or suggestions at and he watched me put my dress back on.

We chatted afterwards about my confession and agreed, in character, that I will need some ‘maintenance’ spanking to stop it happening again which I agree to. When he left, my bum was very sore for about an hour but then fine and other than being red no marks at all.

Out of character today, I am really glad I did it and have felt a sort of glow/blush since. I have not decided about the maintenance spanking but my instinct is to go ahead. I also am still tingling even though there are no marks and I have a slight nervous sensation that he knows a secret.

Am also a little impressed with myself that I actually did it and whilst there were no sexual overtones I allowed myself a moment of pride at the massive bulge in his jeans.

Anna xxx

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