Exactly this. I’ve mentioned it a few times in the past. During an in depth discussion it became a hard no from the OH. Now I just indulge myself when I can.
I’m in the same boat.
I started anal play in my early teens (late 90s) when I was brave enough I started buying large cucumbers and eggplants haha which were amazing, and loved squeezing lots of lube in my butt, so good.
It wasn’t until about 2010 when I expressed my fantasy to my then girlfriend of about 1 year, that I wanted to use dildos together but she didn’t like the idea of me using them, which was a bit crushing.
So I decided to get some dildos anyway shortly after.
I got 3 different sizes of realistic types, it was mind blowing.
Not long after though, she threw them away sadly.
But since then I have been still having solo dildo fun, I’ve kept it to myself which I wish I didn’t have to.
As of today I have 6 realistic suction cup dildos ranging in sizes, that all have balls which feel great pressing down on, still working on the 3 inch thick one. I have a nice plug as well, which can give an amazing orgasm too suprisingly.
And I love my 2inch x 12 inch which I can take about 9 inches.
Orgasming with these is something else, something sex with a girl can’t give.
I am waiting patiently for the next chance to get them out….
Always had a lot of pleasure from using a dildo on myself.This has led to being pegged and a whole lot more.Solo times i still love the feeling of dildoing myself which my wife and her friend love to watch.