Sweet 16 for Lovehoney!

Inside Lovehoney
1

Hello all,

As mentioned before, I have another competition for you all...

So it is Sexual Happiness Week and we are getting closer to our 16th Birthday Celebrations - Ah sweet 16l!

We want you to come up with your best birthday song for and about Lovehoney.  

I have 3 prizes to give away: The We-Vibe Gala The PDX Male toy  Seduce Me Vibrating Thong

This mini bundle will be sent to the person who enters this comp with a winning birthday song (some runner-up points to give out too). Make us laugh, make as cry - do your... Best!

So go on... What would you sing to us at our Birthday Bash?

![](upload://nZq0X5hQ9bz8kLpdgOhtDg15xTU.gif)

**Competition closes Midnight Saturday 21st April - entries after this time will not be counted. One entry per member. Competition is via Lovehoney forum only. Winner(s) will be announced Monday 23rd April. Forum rules still apply**

2

Do we email it of just post on this thread. How exciting x

3

Tazzy84red wrote:

Do we email it of just post on this thread. How exciting x

Just post it here :) 

4

Hey Leanne,
Is this suggest a known song or write one?
Thanks
Sam

5

subbysam wrote:

Hey Leanne,
Is this suggest a known song or write one?
Thanks
Sam

Total freedom for creativity... Write one or use one you know adapted for Lovehoney's birthday.

6

I’ll get the party started ... *clears throat*

Go, Lovehoney, It's your birthday!
We gon' party like it's your birthday
We gon' buy tons of dildos like it's your birthday
And you know we gon earn loads of OH points because its your birthday! 🎵 🎂

Happy birthday to Lovehoney and congratulations to all the staff as I think
I speak for everyone when I say you guys are truly on another level 🙌🏻

7

Based in "Happy Birthday Sweet 16" by Neil Sedaka

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

Happy birthday Lovehoney

Tonight's the night I've waited for

Because you're not a simple web anymore

You've turned into the best online shop I've ever seen,

Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Since I met you I changed my face

My body now wears satin and lace

Thanks to you I have fulfilled all my dreams

Happy birthday Lovehoney

When I did not know you, my sex life was like other

But you arrived and you gave me happiness like no other

Thanks to you for me, every day is Valentine

Butt-plugs, dildos, strap-ons, and more

they are all going to be mine, so

Everytime I see a brown box I smile with sweet surprise

It's just that Happiness is in front of my eyes

You've turned into the prettiest webI've ever seen

Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Everytime I squirt with sweet surprise

It's just that you brought pleasure to my life

You've turned into the prettiest web I've ever seen

Happy birthday sweet Lovehoney

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

Happy birthday Lovehoney

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

Happy birthday sweet sixteen [Fade]

8

To the tune of "Happy Birthday":

Happy Birthday to you

Toys and lingerie for two

Selling passion and hot fashion.......

Happy Birthday to you!

9

To the tune of Sour Times by Portishead - I am sure it would sound great in Beth Gibbons supreme voice.

For toys only you can find

For fantasies of morning love

forbidden Fruit, hidden eyes

lingerie that I desire on you

Try it on, place an order now

'Cause you are Lovehoney

It's true

We love you too

Covered by the satin sheen

For fantasies and bondage dreams

Lubes for all, positions to try

Try that vibe, time for you to sigh, enjoy

Take a ride, orgasms now

'Cause you are Lovehoney

It's true

We love you too

Lingerie, toys and how

Cause you have it all making lovers memory

oh these sweet times

'Cause you are Lovehoney

It's true

We love you too

After time the orgasms crave

of pleasure, master or slave

Offers abound, expert staff

Resolving queries in teaching vids

selling you pleasure

'Cause you are Lovehoney

It's true

We love you too

'Cause you are Lovehoney

It's true

We love you too

Lovehoney

its true

happy birthday to you.

10

An Ode to Lovehoney by Miss Looker:

A long time ago in Bath

Richard and Neal had a laugh

They made lovehoney

To generate some money

now all they needed was some staff.

Along came a lass called Bonny

Who fixed up the site in a volley

They won loads of awards!

And are moving towards

Fixing the worlds sex melancholy!

Leanne keeps things smooth in the forum

And bondage lessons from Jess cure boredom!

Annabelle and Lisa

Star in Lovehoneys theatre

And all postpone sex life mortem!

Now as we approach your sixteenth birthday

We let out a grand hoo-ray!

When i buy sex toys online

I'm in for a good time

Because you always deliver next day!

On your birthday we wish you a great time!

Your service is truely sublime!

Here's to sixteen more years

Filled with sex toys and cheers!

Maybe by then i'll be better at rhyme!

11

To the tune of the fairytale of newyork:

It was sweet sixteen day
In the kink tank
A forumer said to me, life starts at 18 here.
Got an offer email,
and bought more in the sale,
then the boxes arrived,
awaiting review.

A six inch real-life cock
some hot stone massage rocks,
a red silicone thing,
and couples love ring.
But happy birthday
dearest lovehoney
I can’t see a better time
to buy something new.

A butt plug, some panties
for fetish fantasies
A wand and some lube
and restraints for the door.
When i first took my wand
Alone on that eve
I shouted and screamed
and went weak at the knees.

A lelo,
A we-vibe
A tenga for quiet nights,
When we had finished playing
We cried out for more
with questions on swinging,
And prizes for winning,
Signed up for the forums
Got lost on the boards.

And as I was ordering,
Singing happy birthday,
The toys were buzzing out
And here to stay

12

Sweet (REMOVED. Remember lovehoney starts at 18) th birthday song.

I stumbled across lovehoney many moons ago Hoping to get my juices to flow, little did I know of a magical place for us adults to go, to set our own pace. Without the red shame on on face.

Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

Section after section of my favourite lace. all will just fall into place. With butt plugs Galore and many many more in store. Weather your a man women or don't want a label lovehoney has something for us all to take a gamble.


Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

Cocks and balls big or small moving bits that give their all. Glow in the dark and light up vibrators . realistic fannys and magic wands. Your in for a treat they stock everything even for your feet. Dress to impress with lovehoneys best buys. You won't know till you try.


Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

With everything under 1 roof
With their magic fairys, unicorns and some top secret squirrels spreading their hopes and dreams and everlasting orgasms all round at the click of a button.bringing the world joy for love of toys. lovehoney has to be THE NUMBER 1 ADULT STORE.


Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

13

set to the tune of Sixteen Candles by The Crests

Happy Birthday, happy birthday lovehoney
Oh, I love you so
Sixteen candles make a lovely light
But not as bright as a sparkle butt plug tonight
Blow out the massage candles
Make your wish come true
For I'll be wishing that you spank me too

You're only sixteen but you're my sexual happiness queen
You're the best, the loveliest online retailer I've ever seen
Sixteen massage candles in my shopping cart with go
Forever and ever
For I love to shop you so

You're only sixteen but you're my sexual happiness queen
Oh, you're the realest, the honest online retailer I've ever seen
All your special offers in my heart will glow
Forever and ever
For I love you so
Oh, I love you so

14

I just won a competition so I'm not going to enter this one, just wanted to say good luck everyone! Happy birthday Lovehoney :)

15

Ohhhh Lovehoney

The beautiful Westcountry rose

Bringing smiles and stings

Wherever she goes

I saw her

In the early noughties

I was feeling naughty

Or so I thought, see

I was a young buck

I only knew how to... duck

Out of giving pleasure

It was all about leisure

Lovely Lovehoney

My bountiful bunny

It is quite funny

How everything's better runny

Ohhhhhhhhh Lovehoney

(insert Prince gif here)

16

Don't stop me now - Queen

17

I dunno if this is any good but read it to Bruch Springsteen’s Streets of Philadelphia please X it’s from the heart, hope you like it.

...........................................................................................................

Marriage bruised and battered, didn’t know how We felt, We were unrecognizable her and myself

Saw our sexual energy, guttering after children, dying fast.

Wasn’t going to quit, but how could it last?

On the treadmill of liife, Nana na na nanana. Nana na nanana. Nana na nanana nanana na na naah.

Aint no Angel going to help me, we are in this all ourselves.

But there’s is one company that I’d trust, Lovehoney you’re just the Best...

........................................

So I joined the forums and bought some new toys,

She didn’t understand at first, why I’d talk to the girls and boys

About things sex related,but I learned and grew

Now I know myself much better, I’m happier too

And it’s because of LoveHoneyNana na na nanana. Nana na nanana. Nana na nanana nanana na na naah.

Aint no angel going to fix me, just the ones right here right no-oww

The special staff at Lovehoney

And the forum crowd.

.........................................

I have a special woman, a solemate and my friend

And I’m glad I’m part of LoveHoney, relationship helped mend.

I thank you for the trust you give, reviewing of your gear.

So happy 16th birthday Nana na na nanana. Nana na nanana. Nana na nanana nanana na na naah.

Aint no angel going to fix me, But LoveHoney team will try.

So to the special that is LoveHoney,

Ill thank you all right now X

18

Ok please excuse the following terrible attempt of being creative. I am soooo sorry if you end up reading this.

I think it's fairly obvious that it's set to the song 'it's raining men'
________________________________________

Hi, hi we're your Lovehoney girls
Ah-huh
And have we got news for you
You better listen
Get ready, all you lonely girls
And leave those reviews when your done
Boredom is rising, temperature in the bedroom is getting low
According to all sources, Lovehoney's the place to go (we better hurry up)
'Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining toys
It's raining toys, hallelujah, it's raining vibes, amen
I'm gonna to my room and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet
It's raining butt plugs, hallelujah
It's raining dildo's, every specimen
Thick, thin, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and some are even look mean
God bless Lovehoney, she's a single woman too
She took off to stigma hat and she did what she had to do
She taught every woman how to enjoy sexual happiness
So that each and every woman could find her perfect toy
Oh, it's raining anal beads, yeah
Men's parts are rising
Boredoms getting low
According to all sources
Lovehoney's the place to go
'Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining toys
It's stocked with Gags, hallelujah
It's stocked with restraints, amen
It's stocked with strokers, hallelujah
It's stocked with nipple clamps, amen
It's stocked with lingerie, hallelujah
It's stocked with spankers, amen
It's stocked with orgasm enhancers, hallelujah
Oh oh oh oh
It's raining vibes
Classic, powerful, quiet and supreme
Smooth and tough and strong and sure to make you scream
Hallelujah it's raining toys

19

This is mine , the song is Mousse T , Horny .. but Love honey Style , this is all I have got LOL!! takes me back to my teens,

Good luck everyone , some fab ones posted. Love the raining men one , gave me a good giggle!!

You got me horny in the morning and you know,

I tried to call you for phone sex but you didn't answer the telephone ,

I got excited so I decided to use my love honey basic,

and order a magic wand,

The post it didn't take so long, so I've got to sing this song

To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby (20% of woohoo)

And I can't wait for you, and the things LOVEHONEY make me do

My heart and clits tingiling so I'm singing this song for you ,

Love honey ,

honey , honey , honey

Love honey,

I'm horny, horny, horny

Love honey,

horny , horny , horny

love honey,

I'm horny, horny, horny all night.

I searched your website for my perfect sex toy ,

I got so horny I ordered a big vibrator , it will come in 24 hours ,

Someones at my door who could it be , I am a little flustered,

Its a BIG BROWN PACKAGE! (RIPS OPEN IN MY MIND)

I will keep turning ME on ,

This feeling's much too strong

My heart is ringing and my clit is tingiling I'm singing this song for you

Love honey ,

honey , honey , honey

Love honey,

I'm horny, horny, horny

Love honey,

horny , horny , horny

love honey,

I'm horny, horny, horny all night.

The post it didn't take so long, so I gotta sing this song

To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby (20% off again!!)

And I can't wait for you(ordered again dammit) and the things you make me too

My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

Happy Birthday!

Birthday , birthday , birthday ,

Happy birthday ,

Birthday , birthday , birthday

Love Honey

honey , honey , honey

love honey happy 16th today!

20

K&c30's yours is amazing , you have got this , made me laugh out load x