Hi you lovely lot, how do all of you feel about swinging, I’m not at all comfortable with it where as my parter is, what advise can you give me and how do you lot feel about too.

I would be interested to know too. I am a single woman and would like to get involved in a safe and non pressured way.

I’m married and would really like for my wife and I to get into this scene. I’ve always had a fantasy about others watching us have sex. Swinging seems a safe way to fulfill this fantasy. I guess my wife is worried about being judged.

Exactly like my partner he wants to have sex with me while strangers watch in a nice safe environment involving going to a sex club and unwinding and who knows who’s attention we get or who gets our attention but it is 100% not me there his words not mine! I’d still feel not at ease with even the watching thing because I’m a private one man woman! It’s just the fact it’s on his mind I just wanted to see what others thought about it.

At least you are giving it some thought. My wife really wouldn’t even do that. From what I understand, you don’t have to go with anyone else, you can just have sex with each other and at a proper club that would be totally respected. I personally find the thought of others watching me have sex a major turn on. But I think it’s the thought of turning others on who are watching a real apeal to going to a swingers club. These are just my personal reasons. I can totally understand why others would hate the idea.

Yeah but there’s a certain etiquette to it I recommend watching Britain’s swingers documentary it’s three parts long on Netflix this is where my partners got all these thoughts from but like you say your dead right can just go in a couples room and just be me and my partner but I do think it’s too far fetched for me and feel uncomfortable thinking about!

Thanks for the recommendation, I will have to watch that. Ultimately, something like swinging is a big deal for a relationship I guess, and both would have to feel comfortable. That’s why I know it will only remain a fantasy for me as my wife will never go along with it.

I’ve joined more then a few couples and attended clubs it’s a big turn on for me

Kirsty what’s the title of the documentary. I find these sorts of things fascinating

I was wondering the same thing delightful87

Kirsty.BW wrote:

I do think it’s too far fetched for me and feel uncomfortable thinking about!

Don't feel pressured into doing anything you're not comfortable with. It's perfectly fine for you not to want to do these things and he should respect your views once you've made that clear.

If you do want to find out more there's a number of very informative threads on here that'll give you some great insights. I remember this one being quite detailed -


But you can find more if you put 'swinging' or 'clubs' in the search bar. Hope this helps. 🙂

It’s call real life wife swap very interesting documentary quite old mind but a good watch

He respects me and said he’ll never force it and will just have to be a fantasy same a Janes, but it is interesting to say the least!

We started swinging a few weeks after we'd first met, and have been 'in the lifestyle' as it's known for 15 years now. Our decision was prompted by the acceptance that we both need variety and experienced quite a bit when married to our exes. It has worked out very well for us, we're as much in love and have great sex together as we have always done. Swinging provides recreational sex but we don't do it to fill any deficiencies in our relationship.

We started by visiting a swinger club, it was much nicer than we'd imagined and everyone was very respectful. Suggest clubs are a great way to experience the scene, there's no pressure to play and many people just go to watch others. But if you do want to play there are many opportunities. Over the years we've met some great people (have become very good friends with some) and had a lot of fun and fulfilled many of our fantasies. We go on holiday with our best swinger friends and take turns weekending at our places. Having grown-up children helps, home swinging would be more difficult with children at home.

Swingers are just ordinary people who have decided to push their boundaries a bit, they're not sex-addicts. It's important that you both want to try it and both agree before you take that first step. It's not for everyone. Communication before and after is essential. Good luck!

I’d say start with a swingers website first and chat to the people, they normally have chat rooms and webcams if your brave enough , I’ve tried a few swingers clubs but havnt jumped into a threesome yet :)

I think even though your open to think about it by the sounds of it it’s not something you really want to do so I’d say don’t do it, I like the idea of a swingers club but I don’t think I’d act upon it, I know my partner is deaf against it which is fine with me

Should have added that an MF couple is best placed to swing, the usual combination is an MFMF foursome where partners are swapped and nobody gets left out, as sometimes happens with threesomes. Single men usually have the most difficulty in the clubs we've been to and single women get in free or at a very reduced rate. It's all about supply and demand.

Swinger contact websites are hard work, there are too many time-wasters, 'couples' who are really single men and photo collectors. Better to go to a club which is neutral territory and there's plenty of choice.

Just don't force your partner to swing, that never works well and could ruin your relationship.

Just a thought if they really want to just be observed could they park up at a dogging spot and do it in the car?

My partner is really interested in the lifestyle and I am fascinated by it myself. I think if you don't feel comfortable about it then your man should respect that. Whilst I would really like to try it, I haven't built up the courage yet and my partner is happy to leave it as a fantasy having already experienced the scene. Go with what you feel comfortable doing.

Firstly I wouldn't take much notice of TV documentaries, they tend to be sensationilised and edited in a way that does not reflect reality.

We used to swing, found it an add on to our already healthy sex life. We have made many good friends through the scene, all very normal people with normal jobs and very normal lives (except the swinging). If you can learn to have sex without emotional ties and to enjoy it for what it is...sex, it's a great way to have fun. Clubs are a good place to start as you can go and chat to people, you DON'T have to play with anybody or even with each other, you can go, be social, chat to other couples. I would go on a couples only night as single men can get a bit irritating and that could put you off.

Main thing is, only do it if you are 100% sure it is something you are both happy with, set boundaries before you go, and ensure that if at any time you are not comfortable you OH takes you away from the situation.

I hope this helps, and if you do go for it, don't get drunk before you go, dutch courage is a bad idea, keep your brain fresh so you can make informed decisions