Beatrix wrote:
Lollipop ;) wrote:
Are they aloud to do this now? I thought they could only ask open questions, not whats in the box.Beatrix wrote:
I unfortunately had to return a rabbit back to LH last week as it just didn't do the trick if you know what I mean. I wrapped it up all nice and secure but when I got to the post office the older gentleman there gave me a sticker for the parcel and told me to write what was inside the box. Needless to say I was a bit flustered trying to think up something to write and in the end settled with electrical goods. I laughed all the way home, and I just pray LH receive the package. lol
I live in a small town with a small post office. They only wanted a brief description but it completely caught me off gaurd and I was just standing there humming and hawing while I thought of what to put down lol
Aww bless you lol it would of caught me off guard too. Think I'll just put down electrical goods if they ask. But they have a self help thing in my post office now so no questions get asked ;)
In November I was getting ready to sell stuff at a fetish market so I had gotten my clamp stands all prepared on my dining table (I live alone in a shared building). There were some new girls around my age moving in upstairs, which was no big deal. At some point, an elderly man who spoke no English came into my room looking for some cable that lead into my room from upstairs. The cable seemed to be near my dining table. When he left he pointed at my clamp stands and gave a thumbs up. Who even was this man? It was a week before any explanation was given by the people in my building as to why there was an old Dutch man in my room. (It occurs to me that my room as also basically a pile of misc. toys and leather...)
A month later my dad and I were talking about business during the holidays and after an hour he asked me what I was selling at the markets. I couldn't think of any of the MANY ways to word it easier but in the moment I could only respond with "Bondage gear."
My dad is a very shy man. As soon as I said that his expression immediately dropped and he excused himself to go for a run. He didn't talk to me for like three days. It was hilarious.
For me it was when I stayed at my mums house for a little while.
At the time Lovehoney were having a pretty good sale, so I had to make a few purchaces. When my order arrived, I unpacked it all, had a nosey at all the items and put them into my toy box ready for when needed and hidden from my mum. The packaging was left in the delivery box which I unfortuantely forgot to take home with me.
A few days later there was a knock on my door. All there was to answer to was the box full of the packaging of what I had brought with clear images!
Not really sure who was more embarrassed - me, or my mum...
BigPoppa wrote:
I always wanted a lock on bedroom door up high well out their reach. Wife was never keen so its not happened. I suppose as they get older they would start asking why its locked...
I've recently had new doors and that's the first thing I got was a lock with a key ..especially since purchasing of LH .... . My son is 24 and still goes in my bedroom when he's looking for something ..
so now when I go away I can also lock my bedroom door ..
I've never been able to have my bedroom as private .but now it is 😊.. As I child I was always told we had to knock on my parents door before entering it ...
I live at home just me and my dad, my mum died 5 years ago and my sister moved out, so it's just me and him. A few months after i first made some purchases, and was always really careful to hide packaging and the like as i have a pet snake he randomly goes in my room to play with. I was getting self conscious as he is very nosey and started telling him not to just go in there and started shutting my door. I'd decided to try a rabbit, and got the jessica slim, but as a promotion got the mr big too, and had accidentally left the packaging out after opening them. Of course, he ignored my "don't go in my room" and went to play with the snake, and saw them. Worse, he then discussed it with my sister AND his girlfriend while i was still unaware he'd seen them, then cornered me while i was in the toilet, stood outside the door quizzing me about them.
Since then hes also opened my drawer where i keep all my stuff when one of my snakes escaped and saw EVERYTHING, and we had to go through my entire bedroom, including in all my boxes full of packaging with him right there with me, to see if the snake was in them as i had them in a piule on the floor. Never did find my missing snake, 6 months on, can only imagine it's R.I.P baby snake :'(
Then i acidentally left a vibe and dildo on the side of the bath after a shower, i usually get dressed then go get them, i totally forgot, the look on my face when i next went for wee, idly looked around and saw them. He mentioned it a few days later.
He asks me questions all the time, for months igot away wuth "they're free tester" (several were testers) but he was always going on and on asking to take one to give to his gf as a joke present, obviously i couldnt say "dad they're all used" and he would not stop asking, usually in the middle of tescos or when im stuck in the car with him and can't get away.
VirginAngel wrote:
I live at home just me and my dad, my mum died 5 years ago and my sister moved out, so it's just me and him. A few months after i first made some purchases, and was always really careful to hide packaging and the like as i have a pet snake he randomly goes in my room to play with. I was getting self conscious as he is very nosey and started telling him not to just go in there and started shutting my door. I'd decided to try a rabbit, and got the jessica slim, but as a promotion got the mr big too, and had accidentally left the packaging out after opening them. Of course, he ignored my "don't go in my room" and went to play with the snake, and saw them. Worse, he then discussed it with my sister AND his girlfriend while i was still unaware he'd seen them, then cornered me while i was in the toilet, stood outside the door quizzing me about them.
Since then hes also opened my drawer where i keep all my stuff when one of my snakes escaped and saw EVERYTHING, and we had to go through my entire bedroom, including in all my boxes full of packaging with him right there with me, to see if the snake was in them as i had them in a piule on the floor. Never did find my missing snake, 6 months on, can only imagine it's R.I.P baby snake :'(
Then i acidentally left a vibe and dildo on the side of the bath after a shower, i usually get dressed then go get them, i totally forgot, the look on my face when i next went for wee, idly looked around and saw them. He mentioned it a few days later.
He asks me questions all the time, for months igot away wuth "they're free tester" (several were testers) but he was always going on and on asking to take one to give to his gf as a joke present, obviously i couldnt say "dad they're all used" and he would not stop asking, usually in the middle of tescos or when im stuck in the car with him and can't get away.
CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother knows I have a wand and every so often brings up the fact like I am some sort of pervert. What makes it worse is she has one too but says she bought it to relax her back. Yeah right! I wouldn't mind but she only has a shity Hitachi one where as I have a lovely pink Doxy lol.
When i won my Lelo it arrived the day i was in hospital it was around the time of my birthday so had parents around got home from my treatment and i had to open up the delivery box in front of them as they wanted to know what was in it luckily i didn't have to get the actual toy out as the Lelo box had a nice big picture of it on it i felt embarrassed at the time and they haven't mentioned it sonce
Beatrix wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I live at home just me and my dad, my mum died 5 years ago and my sister moved out, so it's just me and him. A few months after i first made some purchases, and was always really careful to hide packaging and the like as i have a pet snake he randomly goes in my room to play with. I was getting self conscious as he is very nosey and started telling him not to just go in there and started shutting my door. I'd decided to try a rabbit, and got the jessica slim, but as a promotion got the mr big too, and had accidentally left the packaging out after opening them. Of course, he ignored my "don't go in my room" and went to play with the snake, and saw them. Worse, he then discussed it with my sister AND his girlfriend while i was still unaware he'd seen them, then cornered me while i was in the toilet, stood outside the door quizzing me about them.
Since then hes also opened my drawer where i keep all my stuff when one of my snakes escaped and saw EVERYTHING, and we had to go through my entire bedroom, including in all my boxes full of packaging with him right there with me, to see if the snake was in them as i had them in a piule on the floor. Never did find my missing snake, 6 months on, can only imagine it's R.I.P baby snake :'(
Then i acidentally left a vibe and dildo on the side of the bath after a shower, i usually get dressed then go get them, i totally forgot, the look on my face when i next went for wee, idly looked around and saw them. He mentioned it a few days later.
He asks me questions all the time, for months igot away wuth "they're free tester" (several were testers) but he was always going on and on asking to take one to give to his gf as a joke present, obviously i couldnt say "dad they're all used" and he would not stop asking, usually in the middle of tescos or when im stuck in the car with him and can't get away.
CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother knows I have a wand and every so often brings up the fact like I am some sort of pervert. What makes it worse is she has one too but says she bought it to relax her back. Yeah right! I wouldn't mind but she only has a shity Hitachi one where as I have a lovely pink Doxy lol.
I am sure my dad saw some of my toys when he came into my bathroom unexpectedly to check the taps. He has never mentioned it, though, which means he either does not care, or my mum (who knows I have some toys) has told him I have stuff like that, or he does not know what are they for (okay, that is probably the least likely possibility), or he actually did not notice (this is quite possible, he is that kind of a person who focuses on his tasks so strongly that he overlooks anything he deems unimportant). To be honest, I don't much care; I may not have a boyfriend but I think I am definitely old enough to have my collection of safe, nice and properly cleaned sex toys.
one time i finished masurbating with a prostate massager, cleaned up and left it to dry in the bathroom and forgot about it and my mother asked me what it was and asked me was it for the ass, i died, so embarassed, luckily never mentioned it again, the day i move out i will have a crazy session with all my sex toys to celebrate
MissBrownEyes92 wrote:
Actually just this very second! My mum walked in to ask me if i would be wanting dinner and i'm sitting on my bed holding my new vibarting dildo in my hand testing the vibrations.... oh dear god. :(
my answer would have been
no thanks mum i,m hoping this will fill me up
,x.
So I thought I might add to this thread as it has so far been my one and only faux pas...
After gf and I bought a remote control egg which she gamely wore while walking round tesco, when we got home she wanted me to try it... So bit of lube, popped it in and cooked dinner while she made me buzz for an hour. Time to take out and here is where it went wrong...
Into the loo to use the convenient string loop to pull out and one end of the loop came loose. With a mild expression of panic I stepped out to tell her of my dilemma, to which she laughed and said it would be ok, to bend over and she'll give it a tug... With which the other end then promptly dislodged from said egg leaving me with a not-anal friendly sphere lodged in my rear!
Moral of the story, do not use love eggs in your bum... They aren't designed for that!
Bobbaford wrote:
So I thought I might add to this thread as it has so far been my one and only faux pas...
After gf and I bought a remote control egg which she gamely wore while walking round tesco, when we got home she wanted me to try it... So bit of lube, popped it in and cooked dinner while she made me buzz for an hour. Time to take out and here is where it went wrong...
Into the loo to use the convenient string loop to pull out and one end of the loop came loose. With a mild expression of panic I stepped out to tell her of my dilemma, to which she laughed and said it would be ok, to bend over and she'll give it a tug... With which the other end then promptly dislodged from said egg leaving me with a not-anal friendly sphere lodged in my rear!
Moral of the story, do not use love eggs in your bum... They aren't designed for that!
Oh no, I would die!!
Nothing too embarrassing, never had a problem with parents- my Mum and I are very open and honest!
The most embarrassed I've been was when I was having sex for the first time with a guy I really liked. I went to get a condom from my bedside cabinet and all my sex toys just spilled out over the floor! He was a little wide eyed ;)
I bought my best friend a bullet for her birthday and she was testing it out by putting it on the table as her grandad walked in... he picked it up and spent half an hour racing it across their dining table (he thought it was a mixer as my friend was into protien shakes etc) he thought it was amazing that it could move on it's own.
Thats a video i watch back often, i've been tempted to upload it to you tube.
Seeing an old man race a bullet across the table... yup...
Oh and tonight my nan caught me with my wand.... not great although i pretended i was massaging my legs. I'm not sure she believed me
MissBrownEyes92 wrote:
I bought my best friend a bullet for her birthday and she was testing it out by putting it on the table as her grandad walked in... he picked it up and spent half an hour racing it across their dining table (he thought it was a mixer as my friend was into protien shakes etc) he thought it was amazing that it could move on it's own.
Thats a video i watch back often, i've been tempted to upload it to you tube.
Seeing an old man race a bullet across the table... yup...
Oh and tonight my nan caught me with my wand.... not great although i pretended i was massaging my legs. I'm not sure she believed me
send it off to youve been framed haha if they show it you win money to spend on more sex toys haha
Going back a few years when the thought of parents having sex was acknowledged due to the fact I am here but locked away for my sanity. My dad hates wrapping gifts so asked me to go and get my mum's Christmas present from his cupboard and wrap it for her. I was told it was at the back on the right. I looked at the back on the right to find a velvet bag. I wrapped said velvet bag and put it under the tree. Christmas morning arrived and mum opens the present. Looks at the velvet bag and opens it. My mum and dads face were a right picture. My sister and I could not help laughing which made my mum even more angry.
Turns out my dad had obviously over thought the don't say on the right at the back and said it by mistake. Her watch in a similar sizes linen bag was still at the back on the left.
Joining the club! Parents just came round so downstairs was tidied spotless. Mentioned when they got here in conversation about a canvas we have in our room, and several others then thought nothing of it. As they were leaving mum piped up that she wanted to see the canvas, so i came up with the excuse that the room was too messy but she was relentless. Dad told her to stop being so nosey but she wouldnt cave.
I had to rush upstairs to "tidy" before letting her in but it couldnt have been more obvious! Only after she had gone did i realise i missed a handcuff and a bondage boutique tag! I dont know what she thought i was tidying though because the room still looked pretty messy!
Jokerboy wrote:
MissBrownEyes92 wrote:
I bought my best friend a bullet for her birthday and she was testing it out by putting it on the table as her grandad walked in... he picked it up and spent half an hour racing it across their dining table (he thought it was a mixer as my friend was into protien shakes etc) he thought it was amazing that it could move on it's own.
Thats a video i watch back often, i've been tempted to upload it to you tube.
Seeing an old man race a bullet across the table... yup...
Oh and tonight my nan caught me with my wand.... not great although i pretended i was massaging my legs. I'm not sure she believed me
send it off to youve been framed haha if they show it you win money to spend on more sex toys haha
OMG thats a fantastic idea!!! I'm actually gonna do that!! :)
sinenomine wrote:
karen68 wrote:
MissBrownEyes92 wrote:
Actually just this very second! My mum walked in to ask me if i would be wanting dinner and i'm sitting on my bed holding my new vibarting dildo in my hand testing the vibrations.... oh dear god. :(
my answer would have been
no thanks mum i,m hoping this will fill me up
,x.
HaHaHa!! Good one, Karen88!! LOL
love it!!! I'm thinking i do need to buy a lock for my door though! With a no-knock thing going on in my house this has happened about 5 times now
How boring am I, never been caught and no embarrassing stories. Now I have a collection of toys I use regularly, it's only a matter of time before I leave them out drying when I get an unexpected visitor!
Some good funny stories though.