The Lounge

Off-Topic Chat
3173

@Newton27 Thanks for the recommendation. LH product says it’s a 5" circumfrence. I’m used to using diameter as the measurement which Google tells me is about 1.59" which is something I’m definitely, fortunately able to handle :wink:

The larger of the two dildos in the beginner’s pegging set I bought is 1.5". Length wise I feel like I can take 6" before I hit a wall.

I don’t know if OH would feel comfortable using realistic dildos. We have admittedly been a bit distant over the last few months and I wouldn’t want her to think I started playing for the other team :grimacing:

In the last couple weeks though things have been better so I’m almost close enough to bring up pegging but maybe not anything realistic just yet.

Also not sure if I want to yet ask about her training my throat and gagging me with it. But oh, my, goodness! would it ever be hot if she found her ‘Mistress’ switch enough to get into that and enjoy it :smiley:

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3174

You’re welcome :relaxed:
See I’m used to circumference rather than diameter so it really baffles me when I’m looking on other sites and then I convert it and realise it’s actually rather big :joy:

Oh wow, I’d say that’s a decent size to be able to handle!
I’m intrigued is this all solo play then?

Oh that’s a shame, I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe just explain that it’s the only one the size you’re looking for rather than the fact it’s more realistic?
May be a way to get round it lol.

Haha maybe it’s best to approach it with little steps first and work up to that one :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

3175

@Newton27 lol See, I’m like “Who the heck uses circumference??” I need to know how wide I’m gonna be stretched so diameter is better for me.

I suppose if you’re used to it then circumference is easier. Maybe a UK vs US thing?

Yes, currently only solo play for now. …For now :wink:

Realistic dildos actually feel more awkward to me and wouldn’t be my preference in solo play.

edited by mod

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3176

@Lovehoney_Brenna Hey Brenna, I saw that over half the post was removed. Which I certainly get if it’s in violation of the forum rules. But I’m honestly not sure why. Would you be willing to help me out? Firstly I don’t want to unknowingly keep making the same mistakes. Second, I honestly don’t see how the “back story” was in violation of anything. I do sincerely appreciate your help. :slight_smile:

lol I guess this may be helpful: The Lounge - #3175 by anon8189768

3177

I couldn’t decide where to put this reply but thought this was as good a place as any, please move if needed!

Hi @anon8189768, thought I’d write a response to this one and I hope it doesn’t come across negatively, it certainly isn’t meant that way. I can see this from your wife’s point of view. If cuddling usually leads to sex and she’s not in the mood for sex then I can see why she would avoid cuddling.

If I’m not in the mood for sex, I will try to get in the mood if my OH wants to have sex but it generally results in either rubbish sex (for me) or feeling grumpy or frustrated afterwards. If I’m not in the mood at all then I certainly don’t like it if my OH tries to touch my boobs, it just doesn’t feel nice, it’s similar to if he tries to touch me down below when I’m not in the mood, it feels uncomfortable and makes me irritable usually resulting in me pushing him away or getting snappy (or both!). It doesn’t happen often since I have the higher sex drive but it does happen occassionally.

Might it be worth a chat with her and agree to definitely not have sex but still enjoy a cuddle? This way you can show her that you can give cuddles without expecting sex. It might be a bit frustrating for you I know! Or you could tell her that you will let her initiate sex when you’re cuddling instead of you?

As for the fact that you think the ratio of cuddles turning into sex is lower than what she says might be because the times that stick in her head are the ones that have resulted in the strongest emotions. For example I’m always grumbling about the number of times my OH would rather sleep than have sex and the fact that I don’t do this to him. I probably do, I just don’t remember it because it wasn’t significant to me whereas being turned down when really horny and frustrated definitely sticks in my head! I still don’t think I do it as often as him but there we go :roll_eyes:

Finally, I’m sure she doesn’t think that having sex with you is bad, she just isn’t in the mood. From a female point of view, arousal is very much in the mind - if I am not mentally in the right place, it is very unlikely that my OH would have any hope of getting me aroused regardless of his skills in the bedroom! It doesn’t mean that I don’t like the way he touches my boobs for example, it just feels very different if I am in the mood compared to when I’m not. Feels amazing when I’m in the mood, irritating and intrusive when I’m not. Don’t let it dent your pride / confidence :smiley:

Sorry if that’s a long rambling post and it isn’t meant as a critsism at all.

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3178

@Kitty-Cat01 Thank you for your reply! Absolutely not taken negatively and I sincerely appreciate that you would take the time to reply :smiley:

As far as where this reply is posted to, I didn’t even know that anyone other than Brenna was able to move them. I probably could have saved her some time this weekend if I knew that lol

As far as sex and sex drive, I’m typically the one with higher sex drive. My OH is awesome though with being willing to help me with a bj or handjob when I’m horny but she’s not in the mood.

I found out after the fact that a few times my OH has masturbated instead of asking me for help because she thought I was too tired.

While that is a nice thing of her to do, I’d absolutely love to return the favor of pleasing her orally, using hands, or using toys if she was horny but I wasn’t in the mood.

Full disclosure, once I start to eat out my wife, it goes straight to my cock and it gets me crazy in the mood. Not sure why but it’s like a turbo charge for my libido regardless of how horny I am or am not at the moment.

OH and I strongly agree about keeping each other satisfied even if one of us isn’t in the mood. Don’t want each other to start even unintentionally having eyes for others due to being unsatisfied.

We actually did already have the “I won’t try to feel you up when we cuddle” conversation. Great idea!

I still feel weird a bit though. Not because I have to keep my hands from touching her and I want to, but the whole time I’m focused on keeping my hands from being naughty instead of being able to relax & enjoy the movie we’re watching.

It’s like having to watch food on a plate on the table with a dog around. The dog may or may not even be aware of or try to get the food, but if I have to watch the food to keep it safe from the dog I’m not well able to focus on other things.

I also love spooning my wife. I feel close to her like that. Down side is my manhood seems to be always aware that he’s pressed against her a$$ and springs to life.

Even if I’m not trying to start a sex session, OH typically receives it as such and gets turned off from cuddling in bed. I honestly just can’t help what happens to him down there.

Don’t know why it always seems to happen in the kitchen, but just about any time OH bends over to get something my hands instinctively reach for her firm rear end.

I blame her for having a hot booty :wink: but she does often ask me to stop so I’ve been making a legit effort to hold back.

It just feels strange because when we were first together my hands had unlimited access to everything. Now it seems like so much has become unwanted or off limits.

Saying this makes me sad. I might do well to see if anything else is going on.

Anyway @Kitty-Cat01. Thanks again for your feedback. Very kind of you to share your thoughts with me. Of course in keeping with forum guidelines, I welcome feedback from all members :grin:

Wish you all a great week!

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3179

I asked @Ian_Chimp, the fountain of all forum knowledge. His tip is in the sandbox thread if you want to have a look. I don’t think anyone apart from Brenna can actually move a post but it is possible to reply to a post in a different thread like I did.

It’s probably just her sex drive changing slightly, it’s normal to change over time. It’s worth having a chat with her about it though and see if there is something else going on. Stress, anxiety, low mood etc can all affect a person’s sex drive, so if there is something else in her life that is worrying her or stressing her out you might have your answer. I’m not sure what the Covid situation is like where you are but in the UK we have been in lockdown for 3 months and it’s really getting tough for a lot of people. I’ve noticed that my sex drive has gone into overdrive mainly due to having nothing else to do and the more I do it the more I want to do it again! I’m also getting increasingly frustrated because my OH’s sex drive isn’t increasing and the difference is getting bigger! For a lot of people though, the anxiety and low mood associated with lack of social contact will have a negative effect on their sex drive.

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3180

@Littleblondechick heading towards Merthyr lol hope your ok great pics by thevway

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3181

Valleys boy then. Thank you

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3182

@Littleblondechick yes but spend a lot of time down the city

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3183

Having just gone trough the entire Review hall of fame thread and seeing some
names I remember well at the time such as @Shadow_Collector , @Sum_Sub , @Boogaloo and loads more.I thought I would have a look back through My history and see when I started on the forum.It seems I first posted in July 2015 and amongst the first people to respond to my Introduction and are still around were @Purring-Pussy , @bondagegod and also someone I miss greatly @Scorpius12 .

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3184

It’s a great slice of forum/community history. :slightly_smiling_face:

It’s my 3 year forum anniversary this week, and I’ve just had a similar flick back through to my intro post, and my top 3 Welcome Crew were @KinkyMinxMoo, @wildflower, and @ChloJakes. :slightly_smiling_face:

(and you’re in there @Onlyones, and @bondagegod too :slightly_smiling_face:)

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3185

Wow that’s quite interesting to take a stroll back through your welcome thread @Ian_Chimp I can’t even remember whether I made a welcome thread for myself! :thinking:
Congrats on your 3rd year anniversary this week! :partying_face:

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3186

Thank you. :slightly_smiling_face:

If you scroll down your summary page you should see a table of how many topics and posts you’ve created by category. It’s only your top 6 categories, rather than all of them, but from that I can see you’ve never created a topic in Introduce Yourself… :slightly_smiling_face:

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3187

Oh thanks for the tip @Ian_Chimp I was just about to have a look there.

Gosh that was very rude of me not to introduce myself, bit late now though! :joy:

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3188

I think it’s against the forum rules to say anything other than ‘it’s never too late’. :slightly_smiling_face:

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3189

Ha that maybe so but I reckon it’ll look weird to start one now after about almost 8 years ( I think) :slightly_smiling_face:

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3190

I suppose this will have to do then. :slightly_smiling_face:

Though @FL45H did one after 153 days, so you could do the same? The new forum doesn’t give a specific date for that post any more, but if we go from 01 July that’d be 2,829 days. :slightly_smiling_face:

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3191

Looks like I jumped onto someone else’s intro! I don’t even remember doing that :slightly_smiling_face:

Yeah, I think 2,829 days is a bit too far in the past to start one! :laughing:

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3192

There’s so many I miss. A lot had started blogs by 2015 and pretty much stopped posting here and now I can’t see them active on Twitter or their blogs anymore.
During this time, I became more of a lurker until last summer.

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