Same here! It’s both a blessing and a curse 
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It’s where I am! I just can’t stop myself! Think I’m not worth anyone’s effort at all something just changed with me at the drop of a hat and I seriously have no idea what it was 
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It’s a curse for me for sure 
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Try thinking about your situation as if it was happening to a friend. What would you say to them? What would you do to support them? If you’re anything like me, you are much harder on yourself than you should be and if you spoke to a friend like you speak to yourself then you wouldn’t have a friend anymore! Sometimes that helps me to be a bit kinder to myself. It doesn’t always work because I have much higher standards for myself than I would for anyone else but it’s good in principle
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Sending hugs 
you definitely aren’t bringing anyone down or a burden on anyone. I’m sorry that you’re going through all this, but we’re here when ever you want to talk or rant, please don’t ever feel that you’re bringing us down. Just wish that there was something I could do to help 
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@SteelA1 I would definitely miss you if you weren’t around here. I always look at threads when I see that you have posted.
You deserve to be happy, that may mean making some tough decisions. If it’s worth anything, if I was in your position and got some positive attention from an attractive person I’m not sure what I would do. Id like to think I’d shut one door before I opened another (but who knows) x
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@Mrs.John I’d certainly miss you too, snd everyone else! It’s nice to know people would miss me! I appreciate you’re kind words 
@Kitty-Cat01 I’d do anything for anyone, have have been there for lots of friends at the drop of a hat! I’ve tried speaking to them over the last few months and literally none of them gave me the time of day! A couple of months ago I rang a good few people as I needed to chat to someone! Everyone of them said they where busy and would me back in just a minute! Not one did! I turned my phone off around 2pm and just drove for about 4 hours! And then pulled in at the services for petrol! No idea where I was going! Ended up saying to myself if no one is bothered at home then I’m certainly not going to find anything somewhere unknown so with my head low I drove home! I got home about midnight and pulled up, turned my phone back on to find not one person had rang back txt or anything! Walked in the house snd not even asked where I’d been till such a time! That was the lowest I’ve ever felt I think!
@Dirty-Wife thank you! If I left I’d certainly miss you’re seriously naughty tales of what you get up too (pretty much daily) 
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There’s one number where they’ll always listen. You know the one I mean - the one I asked you to put in your phone: 116 123. Just reminding you, mate. 
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@Mrs.John I never knew what I’d do to be honest if ever anyone showed interest in me! Especially someone who is really stunning! Honestly not sure why anyone would be interested to be fair! I know deep down id never cheat as I’d feel like it’s cheating on the kids too snd I also know if she cheated on me it would hurt! I also know that i need intimacy in my life! I csnt imagine Never having sex again but Not having sex for over 5 years makes me feel worthless, if I ever got with someone else id seriously be worried that if we slept together they’d never call me again as maybe I’m that bad at it that’s why my oh has literally made all the excuses under the sun to avoid doing it with me! I always thought I wasn’t that bad to be honest 
but maybe I’m kidding myself!
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Well we don’t have numbers but we’re here for you 24/7 and that’s a promise!
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I remember mate! I nearly called them that very day! Ended up telling myself not to waste their time
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@WillC thank you! I don’t t have the words to tell you all what it means honestly! 
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That’s your biggest self-imposed hurdle, mate: constantly telling yourself that your problems aren’t worthy of attention and that airing them is “wasting people’s time”. There’s no such thing as wasting anyone’s time on that number.
The more I read of what’s going on in your life, the more convinced I am that if you don’t do something to break the downward spiral VERY SOON, if you don’t start taking your mental health seriously for once, you will hit the buffers like a runaway express - and I’d love to know what all those people who take you for granted now are going to do when you’ve had a breakdown/stroke/heart attack and are too sick to keep them in the style they’re used to…
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No words are necessary! Just let us help you! 
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The people I meant by that are the other half and the kids! It’s not that they expect everything I can give them (material things I mean) but I enjoy being able to give them anything they want/need and not have to worry about how I’m going to sort it! I’d hate myself even more if they needed something and I wasn’t able to provide it! I’m not one for fashion at all, big labels don’t bother me! I dress smart enough dont get me wrong but I can do that with clothes from anywhere! The kids like expensive stuff and like to be able to give it them! If that means me braking my back for it then it’s no bother to me! So about that, it’s not really that they expect the nicer things but more that I’d be disappointed if I suddenly couldn’t do it anymore! The kids aren’t spoilt at all! They know things have to be earned!
I hate telling people my problems! I told myself earlier in the week that maybe this is just the way my life is supposed to me! Maybe happiness is a bridge too far! I’ve said before that I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done, but some of the things I’m not particularly proud of! Maybe this is my karma and it’s just how me myself has brought this on! If I can accept that this is just the way it’s meant to be then maybe I’ll stop the overthinking!
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I honestly feel like I don’t deserve it! I just need to stop going on about it I think and give my head a wobble possibly 
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Providing for your family is about more than just buying stuff. You need to give them time and effort as well. If you’re working 17 hour days, and putting all your time and effort into your work, then your home life will suffer. It’s a no brainer.
Try and get your working day/week under control, and return some of that effort and energy back towards yourself and your family.
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Please do give the number @PleasureDrone gave you a ring as you sound really near breaking point. I imagine you’re stressed and completely exhausted because you work insane hours and your brain doesn’t get a chance to unwind even when you do get home.
Running your own business (just my opinion) is much harder mentally than working for someone else and the stresses you have along with that are hard. Part of that though also means you are missing out on home life and (I imagine) your wife feels rejected because of this which is probably why she doesn’t give you care and support when you do come home. Talking to her and explaining the situation is the only way to fix this. Maybe you can find a balance together? I know you miss the physical intimacy but hopefully that will come back or at least you’ll be in a position where you can talk about it when you are both happier with life generally. I think you are both unhappy at the moment and that needs to change before anything else as I don’t think either of you can support the other while both feeling rejected.
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I do this exact same thing myself. Theses people have volunteered their time to listen so your not wasting it. its what they there for, so don’t feel you cant call.
Having someone to talk to in your life is really important, and i’m so sorry your friends didn’t give you the time of day.
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First Post after thr big move out (and body being broken) and I’m using it to day to @SteelA1 that you’re not a burden and we love having you round. At times, everyone needs some support and we have loads of it and love here. Please don’t cut off that support that you so desperately need. xx
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