I kind of get where you come from. I am a straight male and have enjoyed pegging from my Mrs (from my idea after joking around about it)
But I still wouldn’t want anything to ‘penisy’ in my bum. Neither of us would call the strap on attachment a ‘cock’ it’s a ‘dildo’. The same goes for its shape and colour. I fully get and sadly understand that a penis shape dildo will usually work pretty damn well for us, but you can still get good ones that don’t have balls or you can stick to non flesh coloured ones.