Then be honest with him and say that without making him feel like it wrong. Good luck x
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I’d talk to him about it as soon as possible before it manifests in your mind to be something a lot bigger than it actually it. Make it known that you’re there for him, but that there’s nothing wrong with a bit of solo time
Thank you Alicia4Ever. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. This is exactly how it’s been for quite some time now and I do understand from his point of view but at times he could be insensitive and make me feel so guilty for it and I just cannot explain why I became so disinterested. I am worried though that my new found returned libido won’t be back to stay and I don’t want to lead him on in thinking everything is back to normal and its like new again only to let down and disappoint soon after.
Communication is key. Tell him what you’ve just told us about your returning libido and that you’re worried if might not last. He’ll be happy it’s back for now and will understand if it doesn’t stay.
Thank you, I’m not sure how to approach the subject about it returning. Its been so long and one of the biggest complaints from him is I never instigate or initiate anything even on the rare occasions I have been in the mood (hardly ever). Having him saying this has knocked my confidence and left me feeling embarrassed (and perhaps a dent in my pride too). I also feel as it’s been so long, I’m like a rabbit trapped in headlights and don’t know where or how to start again as I’ve lost that part of myself and don’t know how to get it back. I never used to be or feel so silly and I hate to say it perhaps now a little prudish. I was always a very open minded and Liberal person when it came to sex and expressing feelings/wants/needs-especially in my previous relationship of 10years. Me and oh have only been together just over 3 years now and although when we do have sex its good and we ‘click’, I don’t think I can fully express myself to him as in previous relationships. Its not as a result of him not caring or being inconsiderate or not wanting to please me, I feel its a personal confidence and esteem issue on my behalf
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That apart of learning and getting to know yourself better. It’s never wrong to have those feeling it’s just sometimes wrong on how we express or act them out on people X
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Thank you I love this and I think he would too. It’s finding the confidence again to be able to do any of that. I’m usually more passive in the bedroom having a managerial role at work requires me to be a leader and be more assertive but once I get home thats not me
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Hang on a tick… 
What exactly does ‘feel like a woman’ mean? It sounds a bit 1950s.
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Simply text him, maybe even send a pic! I’m sure you’ll get a positive response.
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Think I’m a bit late to the party here but would echo the comment above. He’s not necessarily trying to be secretive but probably just trying to relieve a natural urge in a discrete manner.
I know myself that there are times when I simply want to pleasure myself and not have to think about my OH’s satisfaction, just to lose myself in a fantasy and go for it. I don’t always want him in to join in, it doesn’t make me selfish or mean I’m rejecting him ,it just means that I need that private time completely alone.
Yes, he probably felt a little self conscious about it when you asked, some people are just not comfortable with discussing their masturbation habits even in a long standing, loving relationship.
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Thank you yes I think you are right in saying that.
I think there has been a lot of good points made here already. My first thought was that if your libido has been low recently and he really didn’t pick up on your signals last night. Maybe he just needed a release and didn’t want to put the pressure on you to have sex.
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I agree with @bondagegod, your signs may have been too subtle, us men are a simple bunch, be subtle as a sledgehammer! 
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Very good reply there about us men. 
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I feel like a lot has been said on the topic of masturbastion so I won’t go into that part too much, as there are already a lot of excellent comments and advice, but I would completely echo @Ian_Chimp’s comment above.
We need to start challenging the gender stereotypes that society give us about what it means to be a “woman” and what it means to be a “man”. By using “woman” as an opposing characteristic to a “boss”, we are perpetuating those patriarchal beliefs that men are superior, and this is also incredibly damaging for men too.
Humans are complex and multi faceted, so I completely understand the sentiment of wanting to play a different role when we’re at work and at home, but think we need to make sure we’re thinking about this in terms of our own feelings rather than relating them to gender roles. For example, I definitely get that sometimes when I’ve had to be in control at work then I will definitely want to be more submissive with friends/partners - even if it’s just wanting someone to tell me where we’re going for dinner!
We can also relate this to the gender stereotypes that surround sex and masturbastion and what I love about this forum is how sex positive everyone is, regardless of gender or how someone identifies, and its definitely a step towards breaking down those age old beliefs we’ve all been told!
I absolutely know that the comments that have been made did not have any bad intentions so I hope this doesn’t come across as negative as it is not meant to whatsoever! I am a huge believer that there are learning opportunities in all conversations and just thought it was an important topic to talk about 
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I think it’s fair to say that most people would like someone else to do the heavy-lifting at least some of the time. I’m a stay-at-home dad, and Mrs Chimp does like to come home from work and relax, but I need a break too. I know it’s nice to come home and not be boss, but you can’t abstain completely. It’s the same for initiating sex. Someone coming on to you makes you feel desirable and wanted, but when do they get to feel that if they have to initiate every time? I think the OP’s partner would appreciate being seduced just as much as she would. 
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Definitely! I’m a big advocate for all parties initiating sex - at the end of the day we all want to feel desired and its healthy for both parties to feel comfortable and confident enough to be able to do so
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I totally agree with @Ian_Chimp in a relationship both parties need to initiate sex, not just the one partner. We all need to feel desired and attractive.
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I’ve just re-read your original comment and I don’t think that interpretation comes across easily in its wording?
It was good advice about trying to learn to Switch though.
That seems a rather nuclear option. Are you sure? I don’t think it’s retrievable once it’s done.
@Alicia4Ever Please don’t do that,you would be missed greatly.