When you start getting going with your partner(s) are you typically already hard or are you soft? If you start out soft do you get hard right away? Just a random thought I had.
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I tend to get hard quiet quick when things start moving along.
Doesn’t take much to get going. Bit kissing before and I am away.
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Some times I’m horny and already hard when I initiate.
Sometimes I’m soft when she or I initiate and I get hard pretty quickly after we start kissing/caressing/massaging or even dirty talking.
Sometimes I’m soft when we initiate and I don’t get hard as quickly as I like. This is the tougher spot to be in as to deciding whether to proceed and risk getting her riled up if I’m unable to rise to the occasion, or to cut losses (if she’s open to not having orgasms with me). If we priced 3 and I’m still unable, we move pretty quickly to her Womanizer and Old Faithful Dildo (which I get to man) and that usually gets me going pretty well if I’m not too lost in my head.
We’ve had more occasions in the last year as well where I never get as hard as we’d like but we manage soft entry up to and including a shift/semi ejaculation. It’s not optimal, but it works. Also have had fun success with me grinding the end of the dildo like it’s a strap-on/dry humping and that can also get me hard pretty quick and has led to double vaginal penetration a couple times.
So all of that to say that the question doesn’t necessarily require a binary of responses!
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All depends sometime I can hammer a nail with it before we start sometime not at all. I love either way. Sometimes it is almost instant sometimes it takes a while
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I think normally if it’s my suggestion I’m already aroused and at least most of the way to hard. Occasionally she’ll notice I’m already hard and she’ll take advantage. If MrsH suggests and I’m soft, she’ll do anything and everything she can to get me as hard as possible fast as possible (kissing, rubbing, sucking, toys on herself while I watch, telling me how much she wants it). But she also knows all she really needs to do to get me solid is lie back and let me lick her to orgasm.
What I have found is that since I’m not a 20-something year old any more (ok, by more than a few years) I need to be at least 90% fully erect before we start, or there’ll have to be a pause and re-group sometime soon.
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Used to be hard as a rock just looking at her but 50 years later it takes a little more time and effort.
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At 63 a combination since a health issue led to ed problems ( a lot of which we truly believed was us putting it down in our heads as too old etc )
An adjustment in meds and patience
We follow a simple pattern now
If soft …we watch each other ( no touching ) pleasuring ourselves ( with toys and hands )
Then each other
No pressure to peform
The result is now simply put ..
The anticipation throughout the day gets me hard , but we’ve stuck to this pattern
Leading to prolonged sessions ( now up to 3 times a week and a new found passion
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Start off soft, continue soft and finish soft, unfortunately ED sufferer.
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Usually either already hard or get hard quickly..
All depends on where my minds at before.
If I think I’m getting some it’ll be hard
But if I’m just messing around and she’s quick enough she’ll get a brief soft play
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I feel for you, husband going through the same. 
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Im usually already hard. Occasionally if im not in the mood but she is, ill go down on her but within a minute or 2 im rock hard and she gets her way haha
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Same here - going down on her makes me so hard. Especially when she pulls my hair.
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Majority of the time he’s rock hard, but on the occasions where he’s soft I love him feeling him growing in my mouth when I start giving him head 
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As others have said depending on the scenario
Typically I’m semi erect at the start
Until I got more confidence I would be embarrassed to appear from eg the bathroom fully erect but now I am quite happy with this
If I’m not erect or semi erect I soon changes as we start kissing and foreplay
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Depends on the mood I reckon as many times it don’t take much to get hard
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99% of the time, hard at the drop of a hat. I think she quite likes that my reaction is so reliable. Though she’s also said she likes the feeling of me getting hard in her mouth - problem is, her lips get anywhere near it and it springs to attention.
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Thanks for the honest reply. I was asking because I guess with age it doesn’t always start with being rock hard anymore. Your situation is very similar to ours.
Like several others here my go to move when not hard enough is to lick her. She gets more excited as I do too which gives me time and stimulation to get hard.
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If I can’t get hard I just use my special injection and then I stay hard for an hour or so
As a young lad my GF said she wanted to do this and I thought to myself it was never going to happen because at that age all I had to do was think about her and it was rock hard in seconds.
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