I’ve recently stopped watching porn completely. My other half doesn’t watch it anyway but my sex drives gone through the roof! I think sometimes peoples porn habits can have a negative effect on relationships. Although watching it together probably has positive effects.
What’s everyone’s experience of this?
Last night we had some on, British housewives having their fantasies fulfilled.
There were a few scenes that had her admiring the women and looking at what was happening to them and vocalising how she'd like to try this or that. So having chatted about this it seems we are in agreement that our swinging boundaries may be expanded a little...
It's not something new to us in terms of not knowing about it, but more in how these women participated and the positions they adopted, they were very workable and seeing it in practice re-assured her that with the right people this could be done.
We don't generally watch much porn, but last night having watched The story of O early in the evening, just set the mood for the whole evening, so much so that we were too busy to notice that the New Year was about 30 minutes old.when we saw the clock.
Getting Mrs TD this https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39470 to open helped things along too, a great start to the New Year.
Solo porn is really only useful to get yourself off. however viewing porn together really gets you both in the mood.
We have to remember that a lot of these scenes are filmed over multiple takes and sometimes with the help of viagra. Making a guy and girl look like sexual marathon runners when in reality they are just the same as everyone else.
Too much porn like everything which is taken to excess is not good for you but a little often is great either solo or together.
Honestly can't get enough of it! My OH loves watching it too! For us the more extreme the fetish the better as it's where we get most of our ideas from!
Not for us. It can have a negative affect on one's sex life but not everyone
Wife and I watch porn together at least once a month, helps us to vocalise our fantasies and in all honesty it is a big turn on.
Watching by yourself is functional. Watching as a couple can open up interesting dialogues or more easily identify what you both find hot.
We both watch porn, myself more than the wife. We like to get ideas from it but mainly we send each other links to tease one another during the day.
what I hate about porn is the derogatory towards women, that’s not real. I prefer watching the professional polished porn over the homemade video you can watch. Flip the coin into bdsm and femdom and it’s one extreme to the other, there is no balance. Yes you can find loving couples porn, nubelle films are good for that, there are very few bdsm video that don;t have the humiliation towards the submissive which I find annoying. Why can’t there be porn that doesn’t have the derogatory view towards women, the submissive. Surely there is a market for something in the middle, something true.
We got into swinging by watching porn together. We both dislike 'unreal' porn of people with unrealistically beautiful (or modified) bodies, obviously acting and saying silly things like "oh baby, you're so big!" Other dislikes are men high-fiving during groupsex, wearing socks and doing facial cumshots. Agree most of the professionally made stuff disrespects women.
For us, seeing real people preferably in home-made films, undressing one another, kissing and generally doing what we do together and with others is best. We prefer whole-body shots to closeups, particularly during groupsex where we like to see everyone involved. Watching partners being exchanged during sex turns both of us on. Similarly, seeing women putting condoms on their men is good.
We have a TV in the bedroom and often have porn on when we're fucking together or with others. There are usually screens showing porn in swinger club playrooms, and it does add to the atmosophere.
Some of the early porn, 70s and 80s, is quite appealing, quite innocent while being very eotic.
I watch porn ,and I wish I didn't
Part of it is that I'm worried about how legal some of it is .
I'm not interested in young girs , I hasten to add ,my interst is BDSM ,but that seems to be a bit of a grey area as to what is and isn't legal
In my opinion ,if it involves consenting adults, what's wrong with it ?
My fear ,is that one day ,I will have a knock on the door, and the police will come bursting in ..
Despite my honest belief that what I view is legal (it's mainly "mature" women anyway) , I fear that I may have watched something "extreme" by mistake
I used to love it, but as time is going on I feel a tad bored and to be honest we like watching our own home made videos to get us in the mood. Also we prefer sexy movies like fifty shades to kinda get us a bit heated, we usually end up missing the end of the movie and have that as background noise while taking full advantage of eachother 😉
I don’t see the issue, I used to watch more than my OH but now we watch it together it’s much more of a turn on for us both!
I have very mixed feelings about porn. Mr Spider loves it (and most days watches it at some stage) but it rarely does anything for me sexually - I honestly don't mind him watching it though.
I dunno, I may be strange - everyone else seems to love it and get turned on watching it, or hate it and find it a turn off - but I just watch, and see a cock, a fanny, boobs...etc and thats it - no arousal or feelings by what's going on at all!! Zilch. I seem to watch it in almost a clinical way, I suppose - and find it boring! I'd rather read a good book!
I think it kind of frustrates Mr Spider...he reckoned amateur porn would work for me but it doesn't! I can fall asleep watching it!! lol. He will say 'keep watching...get into it...imagine it's you on screen' I really do try, but it still bores me.
I love sex, I love toys, I love touching him and him touching me, I love both of us talking dirty...all of it...erotic fiction turns me on plenty...but I'm just not 'visual' ....
Do you think it's because I'm a fine artist so look at and observe things in a different way? I was a professional fine artist before my brain injury - even taught 'life drawing' skills and drew and painted plenty of erotic stuff - so I suppose I might be desensitized sexually by naked bodies?
Am I alone in my thinking - am I the only one who has no feelings at all when watching?
One observation though... as a Mom to 2 Manchilds...I do think porn being so easily and readily available nowadays gives them false expectations of sex and how it's OK to treat girls as objects... much porn contains a girl being 'gang banged' - less (I think) of a guy getting gang banged? I know it's out there but to a lesser extent?
I watch porno when I'm bored, but to be really honest sexually it doesn't do anything for me. I find it most things really fake and sometimes this is so over the top that is just ridiculous. Porn never turns me on. If I needed that to get things going, I'd live on a constant dry spell. I do enjoy some masturbation porn specially when I can feel people are really into it and there is none of those fake moans.
If I decide to watch porn I have to be very selective about what I watch otherwise i don't enjoy it. I try to find the amateur homemade 'real' stuff and have got pretty good at sorting through all the staged and acted stuff. The OH does not watch it at all.
LadySpider wrote:
I have very mixed feelings about porn. Mr Spider loves it (and most days watches it at some stage) but it rarely does anything for me sexually - I honestly don't mind him watching it though.
I dunno, I may be strange - everyone else seems to love it and get turned on watching it, or hate it and find it a turn off - but I just watch, and see a cock, a fanny, boobs...etc and thats it - no arousal or feelings by what's going on at all!! Zilch. I seem to watch it in almost a clinical way, I suppose - and find it boring! I'd rather read a good book!
I think it kind of frustrates Mr Spider...he reckoned amateur porn would work for me but it doesn't! I can fall asleep watching it!! lol. He will say 'keep watching...get into it...imagine it's you on screen' I really do try, but it still bores me.
I love sex, I love toys, I love touching him and him touching me, I love both of us talking dirty...all of it...erotic fiction turns me on plenty...but I'm just not 'visual' ....
Do you think it's because I'm a fine artist so look at and observe things in a different way? I was a professional fine artist before my brain injury - even taught 'life drawing' skills and drew and painted plenty of erotic stuff - so I suppose I might be desensitized sexually by naked bodies?
Am I alone in my thinking - am I the only one who has no feelings at all when watching?
One observation though... as a Mom to 2 Manchilds...I do think porn being so easily and readily available nowadays gives them false expectations of sex and how it's OK to treat girls as objects... much porn contains a girl being 'gang banged' - less (I think) of a guy getting gang banged? I know it's out there but to a lesser extent?
Hey Ladyspider, a well thought out and considered response. I used to occasionally watch porn on my own and Mrs CC was not interested until she started to have small fantasies about various things. We now watch together but carefully choose what we are watching based on teh particular fantasy type that we are looking for, maybe if you thought about it in these terms it might be different?
Her view - Still rather seedy in places and still has a negative stigma attached to it. .Exaggerated and can be misleading .She much prefers erotic type films and so do I really.
My view - I agree with her view as being exaggerated and misleading. The pay per view porn is probably better . Useful tool for research for role playing ideas .
Personally, I stopped watching porn because in my book it's cheating (obviously if you agreed with your SO that you are comfortable with it, it's OK). I used to love it but thinking about it I hate the thought of my SO jerking it to other women as a relationship should be intimate and personal and in my tastes porn is not that for me.
It's just overexaggerated and does not show a realistic version of sex and negatively affected my sex life even though I don't watch it anymore - it is difficult to get turned on at times or to enjoy the moment. It also undervalues the female enjoyment of it all which fucked me up psychologically because (even though I know it's untrue) I should not enjoy it and my only value is to make my partner enjoy it. He loves when I enjoy sex but I can't get the idea out of my head but it may be because I did start watching porn that was tentacles and bondage, idk. Similar thing with my SO where in one situation he strongly insinuated that his orgasm was more important than mine, and that is rather evident in pornography.
There is evidence that it may have ill effects on people's sex lives. Around 20% of people prefer porn over actual sex and that is rather alarming. Porn addiction is another thing that is rather serious. Hence I'd rather stay away from it but that's my stance.
Roki wrote:
Personally, I stopped watching porn because in my book it's cheating (obviously if you agreed with your SO that you are comfortable with it, it's OK). I used to love it but thinking about it I hate the thought of my SO jerking it to other women as a relationship should be intimate and personal and in my tastes porn is not that for me.
It's just overexaggerated and does not show a realistic version of sex and negatively affected my sex life even though I don't watch it anymore - it is difficult to get turned on at times or to enjoy the moment. It also undervalues the female enjoyment of it all which fucked me up psychologically because (even though I know it's untrue) I should not enjoy it and my only value is to make my partner enjoy it. He loves when I enjoy sex but I can't get the idea out of my head but it may be because I did start watching porn that was tentacles and bondage, idk. Similar thing with my SO where in one situation he strongly insinuated that his orgasm was more important than mine, and that is rather evident in pornography.
There is evidence that it may have ill effects on people's sex lives. Around 20% of people prefer porn over actual sex and that is rather alarming. Porn addiction is another thing that is rather serious. Hence I'd rather stay away from it but that's my stance.
Very interesting contribution. Sorry to hear about the negative experiences you've endured as a result of it.
Now that I've thought about it, my sex drive goes through the roof when I take a break from porn too.