Trans-gender support and information hub

As I have been asked for help with being trans, and going through transition, I thought I would start an information and support hub. Where people can share stories about transition, ask for or offer help, or ask about being trans if you have someone you know who is in transition and would like to know more, or are just interested.
I would like to write down my experiences, and what I have learned, often the long hard way, about transition.

Just for now I would like Let my forum friends know ( after having recently written on my introduction topic that I had been told it would be a long time to my surgery, up to another 3 years ) that I have just received the appointment for my second opinion ( after just 5 months since my last visit to the gender clinic) in a couple of weeks. Then it’s on to the surgeons waiting list. So maybe another year.

I will start with something on coming to terms with being trans and what that means.

For now I will leave this post where it is and come back to make a start latter.

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That’s great news. I’m on the list to transition but could be 2023 before I can get an appointment at the clinic.

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@Naomithea I will be sort of doing a blog, but if you have any questions you want to ask fire away. Same goes to anyone else. Whether you are trans, friend of a trans, or just plain interested/ curious.

The first thing a trans person goes through, is I’m a faulty girl/boy, did I miss that class in school where you were taught to be a girl/ boy. I’m a trans woman so I used to be a man, so I will talk on that basis, but this is for and about all trans people. While I’m at this point I will just point out that trans women used to be men, and trans men used to be a woman ( it’s one question that I get asked by men and women I speak to. I don’t like the term sis man/woman, I think man/ woman say all that’s need to allow anyone to understand I’m not talking about a trans person.

I started out thinking I was broken ,and didn’t seem to belong in either a male of female world, I knew I had a male body, but why did I just not get why boys did what they did, I just though the girls played games that seemed more my thing, but I knew I wouldn’t fit it with the girls, and the other boys would just bully me for trying.

By the time I was in my 20’s I had never had a girl friend, I just didn’t seem to get why women didn’t like me for me. I had one relationship which went horribly wrong, ( she was abusive ) in the end it was her who left me because in her words, “it was like being in a lesbian relationship”.

I knew I was wasting my time trying to imitate other mens behaviour to be in a relationship, what would be the point as I wasn’t what a woman wanted. Maybe there could have been a woman who would accept me for me, but I never met her.

By the time I was in my thirties I thought I must be gay, a feminine gay man, but I couldn’t feel attracted to gay men, what was worse I did feel attracted to men I knew, who were only into women

Yep I was totally broken. That’s when the depression started to set in. But no matter how much I talked to a therapist about my past relationship in which I was abused, nothing changed, I just felt worse and worse year on year. Until I reached breaking point.

At that time I wandered back on to this forum in 2016, having tried to find something here that made sense to me back in 2010. Here I met a dear friend and we talked as we had both been raped within our relationships. I, for those of you who don’t know me from back then, was raped by a gang of my girlfriends, girlfriends while she watched.

This new friend here gave me the strength to become Alicia. She literally said put on a skirt and get out there and be who you really are on the outside as well as you are on the inside… So I did, I got a referral to a gender clinic and began my transition.

Well that’s a brief synopsis of my journey to starting my transition. Starting to transition is where it gets easier, and harder in equal measures at the same time; and it is a long road to getting where you want to be if you feel reassignment surgery is your must have to becoming your true self.

At this point I would like to point out for both those thinking of or just beginning to transition, and the wider world. That to transition is as personal as everything else about each of us in this world. Some trans like me need to be a complete female, ( or male, for trans men) as indistinguishable from a born person as is possible.

But there is a massive spectrum of “in-between” some trans wish only to be able to like as a woman, they dress and act female, but have no desire to go beyond that point. They are not transvestites though, thats something different.

Some may take hormones and grow breasts, being most at peace with themselves going no further; living out their lives as a woman does. I won’t go into other genders here, except to mention some of them like gender fluid, and non binary. I I’m sticking to trying to help those wishing to go part or all the way to being their chosen sex. Some seeing it as changing (transitioning) gender ( a societal construct of behavioural norms. Which thankfully are starting to be challenged) others like me have always wished to have been born female, and consider that they have always felt like the woke up to find they were living inside the body of the wrong sex, to that which they knew they should be.

I call it my skin onesie with the zip glued at the top.

In my next post I will talk about getting into a gender clinic, and work my way through a transition, telling all the things I have had to figure out on the way. Getting help can be difficult especially if you are scared of being outed before you come out. Some times there just isn’t a support group near enough to feel safe to travel to. As in my case.

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@Alicia-Siempre - I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to create this thread. I’m sure it will be a great source of help for a significant number of our members - and not just the trans ones.

@Lovehoney_Brenna - can I put in a request that this thread be permanently pinned please? It would be a real shame for it to disappear into the mists of time, like the Helpful Links thread seems to have done. I’ve never understood why that one wasn’t pinned.

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@Alicia-Siempre Thank you for sharing :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I’m sure that this thread will go on to be helpful to many people in many different ways.

Good thinking @PleasureDrone!

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Hey Alicia

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@PleasureDrone I came across a topic last year when I wasn’t around I wish I had seen it I may have come back then. I can’t see a trans person needing help and not giving it. @Naomithea who started the topic has posted above so I hope I can still be of help there too.

Not sure that Brenna would pin this, but I have a lot to say, and will be keeping it up to date with the rest of my transition. Which it seems is not going to be a long as I thought given that I’m only 2 weeks out from my second opinion for surgery, then straight on to my surgeons list. But it will still be at least a year, covid in the back ground I hope, so that it doesn’t cause delays to my surgery.

Then I will follow up post surgery with how that went, and after surgery things like post surgical dilating.

I hope other trans people will add to it too, with their experiences.

@Kitty-Cat01 thanks, gender dysphoria and transition brings it share of depression so I will be going into that a bit too. I’m sure that if you ever share your thoughts on mental health issues, as you mentioned on another thread, that you will gain much from it, as I now do.

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I’m so happy your here and willing to share. I Have very few questions at the moment as be done so much research and continue to do so. But your story is very familiar to me as I’ve gone through similar experiences. The only question I have at the moment is how,do,you deal with the Dysphoria while your waiting to start the transition? That’s what I’m struggling with the most but I’m hoping to go all the way hormones and surgery.

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I have a question about how best to react if someone tells you they are trans (obviously bearing in mind that everyone is an individual and it’s not a one size fits all answer). Apologies if this sounds stupid, I’m gearing up to go dating and you never know who you’ll meet so I would rather have insight than put my foot in it and hurt someone’s feelings.

Coming from a dating point of view (so possible sexual intimacy in future), I would expect a trans potential partner at some point mediumly early on to say “so, I’m trans”.

In my mind this would raise some genuine questions about their experiences, but given the general experiences of trans people (sorry to be bleak) it seems likely to be a very personal and potentially heavy conversation perhaps better suited to later in a relationship when there’s more of a connection and trust?
(It would naturally also raise some questions about bedroom logistics, but I would deem that to be none of my business until we were both at a point where pursuing a sexual relationship comes into play.)

So I think my response would probably be along the lines of “oh okay, cool” and maybe asking if there’s anything else they’d like to tell me about it - but that seems incredibly dismissive of such a personal disclosure!

So I guess I’m wondering if you (open question for anyone to answer) were to tell a potential partner you were trans, what would their ideal reaction/response be for you?

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@Naomithea It so happens that I am just about it go into the first part of transition so I will be answering your question there, in my next post. If there is anything you are willing to share with regards to yourself, such as are you trans man or trans woman, have you been out dressed as your new gender role. Particular feelings that come up with your dysphoria, that I may not otherwise cover in my post. It will make it possible for me to tailor my response for you. As I’m a trans woman that’s where my experience lies, but that doesn’t mean I can’t offer help to a trans man; after all I have lived as a man for 52 years.

One thing I will say now is the sooner you make a start, the better, what I mean by that is if your screen Name on here fits your intended gender then you have made a start in being out but in an anonymous way; if you are going to be a trans woman then seriously think about changing your screen name to a feminine one, customer services can do that for you if you email them and give them your new name and tell them that you are in transition and wish to have a feminine screen name. Or to fit your new gender identity.

I have seen a post from last year in which you asked on behalf of a friend, so from what you said, I’m not sure that you are not borrowing your friends account. Or if you were doing the " a friend would like to know" thing, understandable given how scary it can feel starting out as trans.

@Cassii I will answer you question in a post, after I have covered what @Naomithea as asked. It’s a good question, and amazingly nice to hear someone express that they would not scream pervert and leg it, when told that the person they are on a date with tells you that they are trans. I can see from your profile that your are pan, so, I will cover both sides as best as I can, but I can’t speak truly as a trans man. Though I would imagine the difference would be about perceptions of the mind, rather than physicality’s

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I’m a 33 trans woman. I didn’t realise I could change my screen name here so will be doing that soon, though I’ve done it on the rest of my social media accounts. I’m getting some clothes to go out as a woman but with limited funds it’s slow going. I have some beautiful flairs on the way though. My dysphoria mainly centre around having male sexual organs and facial hair. The fact that I don’t have breast is also a feeling I struggle with. I’ve feel so uncomfortable with the male characteristics I have.
Yeah the friend was because I wasn’t out which I’ve only been out a month or so. I’m out now because I don’t see why I shouldn’t. Going out dressed correctly will be more comfortable and it seems clinics won’t consider hormones till you’ve been living in your new gender for two years. I don’t know if you have have to legally change your name too or just in your social life, would you happen to know?

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40yo trans woman here, but I am in the US, so things are a bit different process wise. Like I did not have to live as a woman before starting hormones, but I can say this when it comes to facial hair. Laser hurts at first, but is 100% worth it. I have a lot of white hairs that I still have to deal with, but 99% of the rest of my face is baby smooth and really helps when looking in the mirror and not seeing the dark stubble under the skin.

As far as clothing goes, I’m doing a more casual approach (also do to funding) where I’m slowly rotating out my drab male things. First was underwear, then proper jeans and now camisoles (since my frame is too big and my breasts too small atm). It’s helped me keep the budget in check and the slow transition of clothing has made it a bit easier for the people I work with to adapt as it’s not a huge change. It’s progressive over time. Mind you, this is okay for me, but may not work for others.

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I will reply to your questions above now, as the next post I will be doing which covers your early question will take a while to write.

Do you live in the UK as I can only comment on UK gender clinics ? You do not have to live in a gender congruent role for 2 years to get hormones. At this point I would like to stress that while a gender clinic cannot stop you getting hormones off the internet, it’s a very dangerous thing to do as you cannot be sure what your are taking and you will not be getting hormone levels monitoring, so the proper dose is going to be hard to judge. And I don’t think you can get testosterone blockers on line, ( it’s and injection given every 3 month)

I know waiting to start hormones is a big thing but please wait, you sound like you intend to go down the safe route, but I thought it best to mention it.

You do need to wait for your first clinic appointment, which is getting longer, I had to wait about 14 months, it can depend on which clinic your are referred to and how many clients they have.
I will tell you what happened with me, I first saw a psychologist, that went OK as she said I seemed to be going in the right direction. Then I had to wait 4 months to see a psychiatrist, ( you have to have 2 opinions from different clinicians ) Then I had to wait for an appointment to sign consent to take them. Then I had to wait for my case to go to MDT meeting ( multi disciplinary team, basically all the clinicians at your clinic get together and discuss your case. ) get through that you will get and they send you GP permission to prescribe the hormones and blockers.

My clinic do not demand you go full time or change your name before you start attending the clinic, they even have a changing room so that if you want to come in you day to day clothes you can if you want change and take your meeting dressed as your congruent role.

In order to get referred to your chosen surgeon you need to have lived in role for 12 to 24 month depending on how the clinic feels you are coping. If you are struggling to live full time they will make you wait to give you chance to adapt and see if you can make it for the rest of your life. They need to be sure that you can survive for the rest of your life as it’s a one way journey post surgery. Literally a life sentence in hell if you cannot cope. People have been know to give in after 18 months in role, too late if you have already had your surgery.

While I have got this far I may as well continue, with your first question; at least in part. I will go into more detail in the post I had planned.

I think you see getting to the clinic as a cure for your dysphoria, while it will help, it’s isn’t the panacea you may think it is. The clinic cannot cure your dysphoria with hormones and surgery, it has to come from within yourself. You start by accepting how you were born, and that you are only different on the outside, to what you feel on the inside because that’s the way you were born. Nothing can ever change that fact.

You then have to learn to accept that your body will never be as if you were born female no what surgery you have. The best you can hope for is to be able to stand naked in front of an intimate partner
and know that you look like you were. Unless you don’t tell that person they wouldn’t know, just looking at you. But your vagina, will not function like a woman’s, you won’t be able to get wet you will not have the same capacity for your vagina to stretch ( even some women can’t do those things, you will still find yourself wishing yours would) .

Then if a partner inserts a finger into you they will find out that you don’t feel the same inside as a woman, you may get away with it with a man, but not a lesbian. You have to come to terms with all that, and that’s what dysphoria is, you not being at peace with the cards dealt you at birth. You may be refused surgery then what would you do, you need to find a balance within yourself; between how you were born, and living life as best as you can in role as a woman, vagina or no vagina.

Breasts or no breasts. Even with hormones only a few ever look down and think, I’m hopping they have stopped growing, most of us look down and think, are they really all I’m ever going to get without implants, same as many women do. Welcome to the world of being a woman. All anyone can do in life is accept their lot having done their level best to be their best self. And it’s mostly all in our own heads, few people will ever notice that you have grown natural breasts or notice that you have had your surgery for your vagina.

If you pass as a woman, it’s going to be because of your voice, your face, the way you walk and move, the way you act. Society sets the rules of gender conformity and many people just follow them, some brave people are blazing the trail for the rest of us, the lesbian who is proud to dress like a man, the woman who dresses the way she wants to, etc. It’s that feeling that when you are out in public at first, that you start to feel like a fake, a drag queen without the glitz. You start to doubt that the world is going to accept you, then what the hell are you going to do.

When you are over that, then your dysphoria will go, if you get your surgery, then you will feel physically complete, but more than anything you have to make yourself feel complete inside, in acceptance of yourself, that you have done as much as you can, and be happy.

If you are in a position to go full time now do it. That’s the only way to get there, better to find out as soon as possible if you are going to make it full time. It will make it easier to go through the clinic, knowing that you can make it regardless of the clinic, as my best friend told me you are a woman on the inside no one can take that from you; it doesn’t matter what the clinic allow you to have, you can still be you. All the rest that the clinic can do is the big fat juicy cherry on the cake.

I know you hate you male characteristics, you just have to live with them as I said earlier, accepting that you are now doing every thing that you can to change them, as soon as you can, and the best you can to hide them in public, while you wait.

I will go into more detail on name changing etc latter.

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Yes I live in the uk and have all my life. As much as I want help I would never go for hormones from the internet. I’ve seen the damage they can do. I know the clinic won’t cure my dysphoria and I’m slowly getting there but I’m hoping they can help me to make the changes as far as my body goes to making it female. If they don’t feel they can them there’s not much I can do and I’ll deal with that if and when it happens. I know I won’t have much in the way of breasts and I don’t expect much and I’m aware of the differences in cis women and trans women. I find the information on the web inconsistent which is why I’m happy your here hence my earlier question. Other than that I’m well informed on other matters. It was that one worry I had. I’m am interested in your journey and may well come up with more questions but knowing what you’ve told me makes things easier and learning the best way to cope with the dysphoria is something to work on. I hoping I will be seen sooner than the projected times as two new clinics are opening and they may be shifting a number of patients who have come from further away but until then I’m dressing as a women as often as possible. I’ve just had several outfits arrive. Dressing correctly also helps me feel more comfortable.

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I see this thread has been pinned. Thank you, @Lovehoney_Brenna! :hugs:

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I started preparing for my transition 12 months before I took the plunge, actually not knowing if I had it in me. My Idea was that if I grew my hair long, which turned out to be to my shoulders by the time I was ready to try; that at least having a wig fall off in public couldn’t happen. As well as the fact that I couldn’t afford a wig which wouldn’t be glaringly obvious as a wig; I had a one which I wore in private, so I knew what I looked like in it.
At least with long hair I could flit between the two sides of my world without that worry, while I tried living in my new reality, as and when I could.

I even when to the back, and spoke in private with someone and asked if they would remove the tittle from my back cards, as I found I could pass as a woman, I was scared of some shop assistant on the tills challenging why a woman was using a card which said Mr on it. Even if it was the case that I didn’t quite pass, at least the lack of Mr on a card would make them think twice at saying anything. I know in most big stores they never get a look at the card, but some of the small shops do. And I didn’t feel like taking the chance at ending up in a situation, in public.

Next up was choosing the name I would be living with for the rest of my life, ( sure I could change it later but it’s quite a hassle). So I spent a lot of time while waiting for my hair to grow, trying on different names in my head to see what sounded nice to me, I wanted to feel comfortable with it, ( I know a few people, why have said why did my my give me that name !) I decided I knew it would be stupid to pick something outlandish, like Shakira, no matter how much I loved the idea of it. So I went with what made me feel pretty, and seemed to fit me, and which I liked the sound of when I spoke it out loud. Something you have to do a fair bit in this world.

I practiced signing my new name until I didn’t feel like I was going to sign my old name by accident.

When my friend finally got me to take the plunge I went to my GP, and asked for a referral to a gender clinic; and asked the practice manager if she could change my name on the patient call screen to my new female one, which they did, at least for a few months, as I was having to go in for regular blood checks. But that I needed to change my name by deed pole. Which I did, (I will talk off how to do that latter). Here’s where things started to unravel a bit on me. The surgery sent me a letter to say that they had found out that they were not allowed to put my new name up on the call board, with the title Miss, the best they could do was to use Mx. Well that made me feel like they may as well put trans-gender as my title. I know some people do use Mx, but to me it felt like a slap in the face.

After several meetings with the practice manage, they agreed to no title at all. Apparently they were under the impression that they had to use the title which went with my medical records. and that that would only be able to be changed after I had, had my surgery, and received my gender recognition certificate, so I could be legally declared female. I spoke to the clinic, and they said that’s rubbish, and that I could apply for my NHS number as a woman, now I had changed my name. But My Gp’s would not budge on the issue, even after I told them what the clinic had said. They said that there is no such thing possible; but I stuck them out and made them call the clinic.

Needless to say they came back to me and said that they had been wrong, but that if I did change it it was irreversible, because all my old notes would be removed from my records. so I had to sign a form to say I understood that; not that I’m saying that it would be the right thing for everyone to do, but it was for meIt took a few weeks to get it sorted but I got there, another step forward; that’s what it’s like with a transition, always something to get sorted to be able to move on.

Going back to asking my GP for the referral, I would recommend to ask your GP if they, would be prepared to prescribe your oestrogen, as even through you GP it’s prescribed off licence. it’s not yet been approved for it to be used for this purpose, and some GP’s will not do that. Even though they prescribe testosterone blockers for men with prostate problem, some will not prescribe it for this use. If they will not, you can either find a GP who will or travel to your clinic to get it done.

My regular GP refused some 9 months into my transition at the clinic, panic time! I hadn’t know I needed to ask the question. In the end another GP at the same practice agreed to take over my care, deep breath, relax girl.

Changing you name and title is a faff, but easy to do. Go on the internet do a bit of research, and choose a deed pole service. Follow what they need from you give them your new name and title, and away you go. You can choose Mrs, if you want, even if you are not married, but I went with Miss, I didn’t like Ms, or the idea of Mrs, though I did consider that one for a while.

Then comes the faff, you must notify everyone with whom you have formal contact with, banks, HMRC, insurance, council, the list ended up way bigger than I realised it would be. You just have to go though your entire life, and swop everything over. If you don’t you are in breach of the terms of a deed pole, and you have to swear to maintain to your new identity at all times. You will be best to order some certified copies, as it’s more expensive to have to go back for some, if you find you need them.

Some places will be happy with an ordinary photo copy, some will request a certified copy and want to keep it, some will return them, some will demand the have sight of the original. So make sure you get the most secure for of postage. You may even have to send the return prepaid envelope with it, to get it back. You are in for some headache if it doesn’t get back to you.

Now began the long wait to go for my first clinic appointment; it’s no good keep phoning to ask when because they will just say check our website for the latest info on waiting times. And I have heard the admin staff grumbling at people clogging up the phone lines wanting to know when. Your appointment will come when it comes, I found it best not to stress over the when; and used the time to settle into my new gender role, while I waited. Many of you may not feel able to go full time at fist, wanting to wait until you were in the clinic.

But I figured as I had no ties to worry about, like family, or work, keeping me feeling the need to wait for as long as I could before coming out to friends family and work. You will have to do what’s best for you. But I found knowing that I could hack the life, before getting to the clinic, meant I wasn’t waiting over a year, to suddenly find when at the clinic, that I had waited in agony all that time hoping I could do it when the time came for having to.

It gave me lots of time to work on my gender dysphoria, ( For non trans readers, feeling that you mind does not fit with the life role you are living) and body dysmorphia ( feeling that your body does not match you self identity. You know that you were born with a male / female body, but it feels like the important bits, don’t belong to who you know you are, even hating them to the point of anguish ).

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That’s my worry when I change my name I won’t pass as female so I’m waiting till my hair grows out more. Then I’ll change it by deed poll, I started a list of who I need to tell and it grows daily. Can you change your title without being treated? When I change my name I want to change to Miss all at the same time.
I have several wigs that are fairly good but I have a big head and they’re just too small. Plus wigs long term I find uncomfortable.
I’ve got very few ties so I’ve come out to the people I regularly in contact with. That’s about 4 people. But I’m open about it and if somebody asks I’ll be honest with them. Being a trans lesbian isn’t a big deal for me because I’ve known for so long.
I hope I don’t have the same problem with my GP. The fact that they wouldn’t treat you is really awful.
I wish I was at the same point your at in your journey but I’m not going to call the clinic I’ll just wait. To keep calling them will make me anxious.

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Yes I waited until my hair had grow out the trouble with a wig is that the longer your hair gets, the hard it is to keep the wig over it. I suppose it possible if you know how, but I didn’t. Search out the proper department, phone numbers, e-mail addresses to go with each on and write them down.

I lived full time for 2 years before the clinic, with just a deed pole, changed to Miss, got everything including driving licence, and bank cards. The bank says the can’t change my gender on my bank personal details, without a recognition certificate. But I got my gender changed to female on my NHS records, as I put above. Once you get your GRC, you have a few places like HMRC to notify, I believe, ( I will look into the details of that when I get to that point. I Haven’t gone into passports yet though. The only thing you can’t do without it, is change your birth certificate.

My sexuality is like living in a revolving door, every time I step out of it my orientation has changed; it is going through longer phases at the moment. I’m pan as far as I can tell, without getting into a relationship, I’m demi-sexual too, which has it’s up sides and downsides, only being able to feel attraction to someone I have a connection with. I can say he/ she/ they, look nice, but not really fancy anyone I don’t already know well enough to have connection with. It can suck when you find yourself fancying a friend who you know doesn’t feel the same way.

The more I got closer to my surgery the more I find the idea of men sort of attractive; then recently I went totally lesbian. I’m going to go more into that in another post, but you sound happy to be lesbian. You are you only trans woman I have spoken to about sexuality who wasn’t either bi, or pan. I think many go that way as it’s soon becomes clear that the trans dating pool is much smaller. I’m going to talk about what I know of trans dating latter too. A few on her have partners, but I have always felt unable to go there the way I am, despite knowing I may have to stay at the same point I’m at now.

I hate the idea of a guy only wanting me so that he can have sex with a woman who has breasts but still has a penis. You would be surprised how many men there are , who say “I’m totally 100% straight but I would love to be penetrated anal by a real penis”. I don’t get how that can be a thing, but each to their own, and what ever way of labelling it makes you feel right about it. Just don’t ask me to be into that. I have had a guy say that, but only if the rest of her is realistically female looking every where else. It made me feel like a badly made sex doll, I don’t look too bad for my age, and I pass easily, but I don’t compare to some of the younger trans girls who do look totally amazing. But I’m happy with myself.

Some lesbians will look for trans women, maybe we are the ultimate butch or the woman with a penis thing, if they are bi. I don’t really know, but I was once told by a woman that I was the best of both worlds. I hate the idea of falling for someone, only to have them not want me to have the surgery, I need it, I just hope I can get it. Otherwise I will have to try looking for love as I am. I feel a bit of a chicken for not getting out there, but there is my past butting into that side of my life too. Getting raped by both men and women has really messed me up, relationship wise, amongst other things.

Have you been out in role yet, do you feel that you will be able to pass, or be OK if you can’t. I can get you started with vocal training, movement, etc, which helps allot. As a tall slightly masculine looking trans woman will make people second guess themselves if she sounds like a woman. I think that’s what people go on mostly to be sure, from what I have been told by men and women. No one wants tell tell a woman she’s a trans, if they are not totally sure, though there will be be the odd person who will think they know.

Confidence is a big thing too, if you can be confident, that’s something else that will make people hesitate in making a judgment. Many people now just don’t care now, you are just another person, I think it depends on how you present, and the confidence you show. Depends on the area you live in too I suppose. I live in a small village, and everyone knew me as a local business man. But no one as yet has done more than say hi.

Well not quite I have had someone come to the door when the gas pipeline company was digging up the road in front of my house. He wanted to check to make sure that gas was not leaking into my house as they have to, I know that. But when he had done with the gas sniffer, he asked if I wanted to take him up to my bedroom. In one sense flattering that he fancied me but I could have slapped him for asking me straight out to take him to bed. I should have reported him, but I felt too scared to as he knew where I lived.

That’s another part of living the life of a woman that you will no doubt find out, like every other woman. Very current, and yet ancient.

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