I'm really tight in the pussy department and takes a while for me to get even a bit open enough when OH is in the mood as he is very girthy (no complaints ;) ), was thinking of getting something I can play with myself with to open myself up while giving OH oral so that I don't get the pain for the first few minutes til i can enjoy it and he can get all the way in. Think he's about 5inch girth?
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35750
or
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33962
or any suggestions? Don't want to use dialators as just want one thing to use discreetly :) xx
are you wanting to be ahnds free to make it part of foreplay with him... a suction cup dildo may be a solid option?
I only need one hand free to play with him, so can have one hand to play with myself/toy :)....any recommendations on which if a suction cup then? x
I have the second one and it's quite short in length but the girth should be a good size for you. x
I find kegel balls get me warmed up nicely and they are very discreet 😊
Thanks for te advice guys :) He finds it a bit weird using toys on me but seems open to it. :)
Lil_ Red kegels balls are a good idea but its just the opening I need to open a bit more, no problem with the warming up bit per say ;P
Do you use lube? It's very good! I don't like sex without it now!
Ally this could and should be very erotic and exciting for you both. I've been here with a previous partner. It became a huge turn on for us both to have me finger her and gently over months open her up. Eventually working in one finger from each hand to spread her and then two.
Think it drove me towards my medical kink. She used flex and tense involuntarily which was also erotic.
From this we then did the same with her butt too.
Hope this helps .
Love GG x
GG I really wish as that sounds amazing, you actually getting turned on by doing this. I'll try to make it sound erotic to him and see what happens when I next see him as that would be really erotic for me, but i honestly dont have high hopes atm (bit down in general atm, so sorry for the down sounding writing, but thank you for the advice and I will try, If anything i am determined...or stubborn...maybe a bit of both) hugs xx
Hi alyblue, just wanting to chime in and say - relationships and sex means both parties should be eager to please the other one. It is obvious that you're pleasing him but please correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds as though hes not making the effort. GG suggestions spot on and the best way of achieving success, therefore your OH should most definitely want to do that for you. It'll be so beneficial in the long run too, and he may well find it erotic as pleasing one another in the bedroom is the best feeling ever😊
Hope you feel better soon hun 😙💗xx
slinky binky wrote:
Hi alyblue, just wanting to chime in and say - relationships and sex means both parties should be eager to please the other one. It is obvious that you're pleasing him but please correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds as though hes not making the effort.
Agreed, why should 'this' be discreet? Its not a dirty job! He should be more willing to make you turned on enough to have him 'enter you' and you not having to 'prep' yourself in between fluffing him up. That would not be good enough for me at all. Cant think of anything un-arousing to be honest. Should be a joint effort!...
Take a look at glass dildos available here, theyre usually slim in girth. Teamed up with some lube they slide in gloriously.
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/dildos/glass-dildos/
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
🐼
Is it wrong that I want to fill my house with glass dildos instead of ornaments? They're beautiful!! It's a shame I have to keep my two in my drawer, they're things of beauty! 😍
Good luck AlyBlue! I have the same problem, I can find dildos hurt unless I'm really relaxed and I find lashings of lube really help. I'm tight at my vaginal entrance and I have a low cervix so I have always had trouble taking bigger men. Getting warmed up properly and getting the angle right is vital, and then it's great!
Alyblue sorry to hear your down ATM.
Sending a big GG bear hug xxx
Glass dildos as ornaments is a great idea. Also put them in the fridge and use them instead of ice mmmm. I had a wonderful wooden prostate stimulator it was to good to hide away .
Glass dildos as ornaments is a great idea. Also put them in the fridge and use them instead of ice mmmm. I had a wonderful wooden prostate stimulator it was to good to hide away .
Slinky binky & SquirtyPanda - If I'm 100% honest....I feel like he's not putting the full effort in and enjoying it. I get off on turning him on and so when i feel like he's not enjoying giving it turns me off a bit. I know he has a lower x drive but :(. Going to go with GG's suggestion and try and see what OH reaction is when I make opening me up sound sexy. Although he doesnt satisfy me that much, I love him and just feel like he will change when he gets his drive back...just need to wait. I've always been a big giver, feel guilty if he goes down on me too long (just my nature, 1 reason i want to be tied up so i can relax and got no choose), so i naturally focus on him more.
Glass dildos do look nice, why glass instead of normal though would you suggest? Will let you know how it goes <3 x
Sexybabe - hell no! Glass dildo oranments sound way more interesting that boring normal ones, and have a double use ;). Out of interest what position do you use for dildo and sex so is less painful and easier at the start? x
GG - Thank you :) hugs much appriecated, hugs back x
Thank you btw guys :) you really are helping, nice to have some support, I'll let you know how it goes (hopefully well) x
Aww Aly, I'm soooo sorry to hear that. Communication is essential here, could you express the feelings to him? It's obviously when sex isn't two sided kinda thing so ends up a complete turn off which isn't how it should be. If you're nervous of approaching him perhaps write a letter or show him this thread. You deserve better hunni, we should all be fulfilled in our sex-lives, pleasing eachother regardless of drive should be a priority. If I thought for a second hubby wasn't "fully into it" I'd stop and have alot to say.
Glass is exquisite. The weight, non porous, cooling or heating, the beauty, easy to clean, they are unbelievable! I thought it was a farse lol n the last insertable typed toys I bought, waw it was a massive hit! The only toy that really works for me (without tmi,) is glass with wand or desire bullet, the results are explosive where no other combinations achieve ought like that! Sorry I'm not the best at explaining but glass is class, the one squirty panda linked looks purfect for you (and me straight onto wishlist, ) but i do advise warming up with a smaller/clitoral toy first as because of the solid material it's more "filling" if you get me. And lubricant is the greatest creation. I'd recommend the sliquid range aswell as the Lovehoney discover anal lube (works brilliant for both, being labelled as anal lube due to being thicker and longer lasting.)
Been thinking of you, good luck with your OH, keep us posted if you don't mind 😙💗
Squirty panda, am not sure about girthier glass as I'm more into smaller ones,you could request on the panda to me thread if nought fits your requirements in the glass section hunni😙💗xx
Aly i am not sure of uour ages but he sounds a bit immature and selgish TBH
My partner will often times bring me to orgasm with oral sex, fingering or a toy prior to penetration... that is just ss part of sex as actual intercourse. Maybe w ork on extending foreplay as he may just not know what to do?
slinky binky
wrote:
Aww Aly, I'm soooo sorry to hear that. Communication is essential here, could you express the feelings to him? It's obviously when sex isn't two sided kinda thing so ends up a complete turn off which isn't how it should be. If you're nervous of approaching him perhaps write a letter or show him this thread. You deserve better hunni, we should all be fulfilled in our sex-lives, pleasing eachother regardless of drive should be a priority. If I thought for a second hubby wasn't "fully into it" I'd stop and have alot to say.
Glass is exquisite. The weight, non porous, cooling or heating, the beauty, easy to clean, they are unbelievable! I thought it was a farse lol n the last insertable typed toys I bought, waw it was a massive hit! The only toy that really works for me (without tmi,) is glass with wand or desire bullet, the results are explosive where no other combinations achieve ought like that! Sorry I'm not the best at explaining but glass is class, the one squirty panda linked looks purfect for you (and me straight onto wishlist, ) but i do advise warming up with a smaller/clitoral toy first as because of the solid material it's more "filling" if you get me. And lubricant is the greatest creation. I'd recommend the sliquid range aswell as the Lovehoney discover anal lube (works brilliant for both, being labelled as anal lube due to being thicker and longer lasting.)
Been thinking of you, good luck with your OH, keep us posted if you don't mind 😙💗
Squirty panda, am not sure about girthier glass as I'm more into smaller ones,you could request on the panda to me thread if nought fits your requirements in the glass section hunni😙💗xx
I have to echo slinky and SP! The advice they have given (along with everyone else of course) is fab. I would also agree about the glass toys and urge you to try them with or without your Oh!
I also get the feeling that you are both a bit younger (could be wrong so apologies if I am) From my own experiences I can relate to being with someone who wasn't as committed to sexual exploration. Prior to being with my OH the guy I was with was not interested in even talking about sex, and if I tried he would take it as a criticism, now here is the thing, he was the first guy I slept with and despite this I knew that the sex was not good. If I had been more confident (he drained all my confidence made out I was wrong/a slut/or telling him he was shit in bed) and honest in all honesty I should have said my sexual needs deserved a voice and to be recognised, but on retrospect and in light of my experience with my now OH I can without doubt say that sex should not be a taboo subject between a couple and after just discussing your issue with my OH he has offered his insight. He wants to know what I want, he wants to turn me on, he wants to feel how wet he makes me as he says this in turn, turns him on! Like GG my oh loves to use his tongue, fingers, lips to feel and play leading up to penetration and not just so I can take him, but because everything that comes before intercourse is as amazing and adds to the anticipation and feel when we do get there.
I understand that you are looking for a way to avoid pain due to you being tighter but this is not your sole responsibility, I would gently suggest you be honest with yourself and your Oh, if he is resistant and not open to work with you then maybe consider that sexually you are not compatible. This doesn't automatically mean you shouldn't be together, lots of couples find themselves in the same position the difference being they recognise it and work together and compromise with each other so it can work, at the end of the day only you know if this will influence you staying together. My last point (sorry for such a long post) is to say that it is 100% ok for you to tell your oh how you feel and what you need and that turning you on should be as important to him as it is for you turning him on.
Will be thinking of you, and if you need more advice etc you know where to come!
Lilmiss x