Ok so this is very embarrassing but basically I'm still a virgin even though I'm 21, it's not like I want to be a virgin still I'm just slightly scared. I know loads of people say fear means that you're too immature but that's crap (sorry) I'm not scared of sex I just don't think I should inflict being naked upon anybody and I know that it will be awkward (unavoidable apparently) but awkward situations are my kryptonite! I hate embarrassment bad as that sounds. Any suggestions? Pretty please can nobody say get drunk as I'm not able/allowed to drink :(
Thanks in advance! Sorry for the mini rant!
Welcome.
hope you will like it here in LH.
xoxo
J.J.
Don't be embarrassed by the fact your a virgin and stop sweating about it sweetie!
Sex shouldn't be something you just do to loose the Virgin tag, it should be because you have found someone you want to share something special with. Sex is over rated when it is emotionless and you are just going through the motions, save yourself the hassle and wait for someone who is worth your time and love.
I'm sure u look beautiful naked, we all do in our own little ways (although I tend to bitch about my tummy a lot lol).
I'd say wait until you have found you are completely comfortable with, you will still be nervous and worry about if your doing it right but u will also know that it is right and what you want. And yes don't listen to anyone who says "just get drunk" because quite frankly u will regret it and cause yourself more pain wishing you had waited!
xxx
Oh and also sex is nothing like a porno - nor should it be!
I've never had sex drunk. I don't like not being in control. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to not just have sex for the sake of it. The one thing no one ever tells you is men don't really look at the bits we don't like, we're micro (OMG my tummy is so wobbley :(:(:() and they're macro and concentrate on an image as a whole.
Pixie if you've seen some porn the average porn star is just as ugly as everyone else. Get some confidence into you and get comfortable in your own skin because there will always be someone who thinks you're beautiful. And on the whole porn note no one expects you to be THAT vocal... Just saying!
Don't concentrate on the virgin tag. Find someone you love and is deserving of being your first. Everyone's first time is a little awkward and uncomfortable. I know its easy to say but just relax, it'll happen and to be honest I find just letting things escalate works best for me. Kisses can quickly turn into sex if you don't say no. The more you worry the harder its going to be. Theres nothing sexy about being the quivering mess in the corner. Just try and enjoy yourself in general and eventually you'll find someone.
Having sex for the first time while drunk is an AWFUL idea. Getting drunk is not a very good idea in the first place.
One of my best friends lost her virginity at 25, and I can assure you that she made up for it later. Don't rush it, and don't do it with someone you don't like very much. I am not telling you that you should be madly in love (I certainly was not), but at very least you should find him attractive and very pleasant to with, and should treat you with a lot of respect. (I will never cease to be amazed at the number of women I know who go with men who treat them like dirt.) Obviously you lack confidence, but don't fall into the old "he's too nice for me" groove.
The first time will be awkward, it is for everyone, man of woman.
About your body, I can assure that most of the female friends I have feels they look dreadful when naked, including some that are truly beautiful. And I am also completely certain that the men who see you naked will not even perceive the existence of the glaring faults that you see in your body.
So, honey, relax, have fun, don't do anything if you don't feel it's right. The moment will arrive, and things will get better with time.
Hello,
I lost my virginity at almost 23 and no regrets at all I waited longer than usual. I was kissed before that, there was some more intimate touching before I admit, but did not have full sex until I was even older than you are. I do not think it does not mean I was not ready. I was, but it just did not happen, like the time was not right.
I would strongly advice against getting drunk and loosing it, just for the sake of not being a virgin. I personally would advice to wait till you feel safe round someone and someone you can trust - does not have to be the only man you will spend the rest of your life with, but someone you can rely on. First time can be bit awkward and even bit painful, but it does get better and I just find its better done with someone you trust and care for rather loosing it for the sake of it.
Georgina71 wrote:
Having sex for the first time while drunk is an AWFUL idea. Getting drunk is not a very good idea in the first place.
One of my best friends lost her virginity at 25, and I can assure you that she made up for it later. Don't rush it, and don't do it with someone you don't like very much. I am not telling you that you should be madly in love (I certainly was not), but at very least you should find him attractive and very pleasant to with, and should treat you with a lot of respect. (I will never cease to be amazed at the number of women I know who go with men who treat them like dirt.) Obviously you lack confidence, but don't fall into the old "he's too nice for me" groove.
The first time will be awkward, it is for everyone, man of woman.
About your body, I can assure that most of the female friends I have feels they look dreadful when naked, including some that are truly beautiful. And I am also completely certain that the men who see you naked will not even perceive the existence of the glaring faults that you see in your body.
So, honey, relax, have fun, don't do anything if you don't feel it's right. The moment will arrive, and things will get better with time.
must arrge with you.!
btw
where are you on the chat?
J.J.
Hi there, firstly, you have nothing to be embarrased about! Being a virgin is absolutely not an issue, and you might even meet the perfect person, who may be a virgin also, which is special in itself.
Drinking and then having sex, particularly for the first time, is not a good idea.
There's no rush, but whenever it happens, have fun, stay safe, be confident about your body and don't worry. And if it's someone you like, bonus :)
To Silk_touch: you must what with me?
I am not on the chat; I don't even know how to do it. In any case, I told you before that I am totally monogamous, and not interested in cybersex.
If you're with the right person then you won't feel embarrased of self conscious. They should make you feel comfortable. I was always feeling awkward about it until the right guy came along. My first time was a disaster but we were able to laugh about it and it wasn't embarrasing at all.
Hi Pixie_91
I agree with the comments above telling you not to worry and certainly not to sleep with someone random. For waht it's worth, I'm still a virgin and I'm a bit older than you. Not entirely by choice, I admit, but sex/romance just hasn't happened for me yet. I don't think 21 is really old enough to worry too much though. I certaintly wasn't worried when I was 21. I honestly can't imagine myself entering into a sexual situation unless I found a guy I at least liked a lot, was attracted to and trusted. I know there are a lot of people out there who rush into it and regret it later.
I sympathise regarding the embarrassment factor. It's a big issue for me in all kinds of situations and means I'm utterly incapable of talking to guys in the unlikely event one will even bother to notice me. So yes, you are not alone there!
I really wish we lived in a society that didn't expect us all to go out and have loads of sex all the time. I think we're all victims of a culture that assumes that's what the majority does so those of whose who don't or can't are somewhat stigmatised. That's pretty weird seeing as it was historically the other way around, especially for women.
I am in agreement with the comments posted.
From a blokes perspective, I was 25 when I lost my virginity. I think that the first time should be special and is not something to be rushed into.
When I was in my late teens it was something I wanted to do because I seemed to be being left behind by my peers. When I was about 21 I came to the conclusion that I was putting pressure on my self and it was impacting on my relationship with girtls. I had been to an all boys school which had not helped, So I but sex to the back of my mind and found that I was able to talk to women without the sex issue being there. I gained some good female friends at work and they helped me become more confident around women.
As it happened I lost me virginity to an older woman than I had know for somrtime as a good friend, our relationship just developed over time.
I met my now wife a couple of years later.
Cat Lady wrote:
I really wish we lived in a society that didn't expect us all to go out and have loads of sex all the time. I think we're all victims of a culture that assumes that's what the majority does so those of whose who don't or can't are somewhat stigmatised. That's pretty weird seeing as it was historically the other way around, especially for women.
I understad where you are coming from C L, but I feel it is the Media and not society that puts pressure on us to have sex all the time.
I can remember a full years ago that there was a survey out telling us all how often couples were having sex. I can remember talking about it with my wife, say had spoken her friends and they all said that someone else must me getting thier share. lol
So don't put pressure on yourselves, take life as it comes and the right person will come along, probably when you are least expecting it.
HH
I was including the media in my description of society as it has a tendency to shape expectations, but yes, definitely the media.
You will have sex when your ready there will be somone you find that your completely comfortable around I hope you enjoy this site
Thanks for all the tips and encouragement guys! :)
I agree with all of the above! 
Don't rush into anything or be pressured into anything if your not ready! No No! My advice would be, find someone you really like and are attracted to and build up a good honest relationship with them. That way, you'll feel less embarrassed around them and less self consicous coz you'll know they accept you & like you for who you are. Then... just let things happen naturally. Don't push it, or rush it, or even try to make something happen.... just allow it to happen with someone you really like and trust.... and it will be amazing. Yes ok, a little embarrasing at first.... but once you feel your body responding to someone else giving you pleasure, your embarrasement will melt away.
I wish you LOTS of fun to come! x x x x
Can we ask why you are embarrassed about showing off your body ?
Sex is one of those things iin life that everyone has their own little insecurity about, lights on/lights off, whats the best position for me to look my best, how loud/quiet should I be etc the list goes on.
At the end of the day 90% of the people want to have sex with you regardless of what you think about yourself they like you and they want more of you.
Just go for it I say, if your body says I want you then remember you only live once and try to live without regrets.
I'm 20 and still a virgin, i'm shy and socailly awkward so a proper relationship hasn't happened yet and jumping into bed with a stranger is a no no for me.