My Wife recently confessed to me that she does masturbate regularly. She knows it is one of my fantasies to watch her but she has ALWAYS said NO. How can I get her to change her mind? I am excited that she has told me that she masturbates but I want to watch and she is very prudish when it comes to sex please give advice!
A few drinks to ease the tension?
If you've asked and she's said no, you need to respect that.
If she's worried about feeling exposed, then you could offer to masturbate at the same time with her and that might allay some of her fears/conciousness.
The other thing to do would be to build some for of masturbation (mutual or otherwise) into your foreplay and gently go from there, telling her how much it turns you on, what it makes you want to do to her etc. etc. as part of the build up to sex.
It's entirely possible that she doesn't want to be watched "directly", so she *might* (and I take no responsibility for the consequences of this suggestion!) be happy for you to set up a video camera and then watch it together afterwards, however, until she says "yes", you can't make her doing something against her will.
Hope that helps,
MBB
I masturbate in front of my partner but I find it offputting when he stares at me so we tend to do it while relaxing in bed with our eyes closed. Also I cannot orgasm masturbating in front of him and he doesn't expect me to... He lets me play for a while and then finishes me off :)
If she doesn't want to though try blindfolding yourselves and then she may feel a bit more relaxed about it and you can always listen and touch with your hands to see what's going on
sounds to me she wants to get caught, hence the reason she told you she masturbates else why tell you if she has never told you before :)
rach74 wrote:
sounds to me she wants to get caught, hence the reason she told you she masturbates else why tell you if she has never told you before :)
Not sure about that. I have revealed to my husband only in the last couple of years or so that i masturbate but i didnt reveal this in the hope that he catches me. I think i would be a little embarrassed if he did tbh.
But it could be a plan she has in mind though but i would tread carefully just in case that isnt her intentions.
Masturbating can be a very, very private thing and because of this neither one of us has caught each other masturbating.
Some good suggestions and pointers though. I could do with trying a few of them myself because it would be nice to be able to masturbate in front of him.
I understand why she doesn’t want to, or at least why she thinks she doesn’t. I say thinks because quite often it’s the thought of doing something not the doing it that one is afraid of.
I always feel a bit silly doing it in front of my partner for some reason, which is sort of silly as we have never felt odd at all using the bathroom at the same time or anything. I suppose it can make you feel a bit exposed and if you don’t like performing to an audience can make you feel somewhat self-conscious as you flap about playing with yourself and making odd faces.
I found that it’s much easier however if I don’t feel that I’m performing. If he is on the computer doing work or something, ill quite happily lie on his bed playing with myself. I don’t mind if he watches from there and it feels much more spontaneous and natural. Another thing would be letting her do it blindfold. If I can’t see myself being watched I can pretend no one is looking.
Getting her to practice in front of a mirror might also help as it will help her see what you like about it and she will get a much more realistic idea of how she looks doing it rather than how she thinks she looks.
Another thing I find is if my Partner gets me really excited then stops, refusing to carry on, when I’m really into it and sits on me in such a way that I can’t play with myself, I’ll find myself squirming and begging to be allowed, without a care of whose watching. One really can be self-conscious when all you want is a big fat orgasm!
Hope this helps
You could buy her a dildo, unless of course she already using one, but if she wasn't it would perhaps give her a signal that you really don't mind her masturbating and maybe she will invite you to watch.
I say masturbation is a private thing, but again if my partner caught me out, I be shocked but surpised and would let her joint in but I depends on the couple! some do some don't all different tastes and ways of how couples play with each other. 
Yes if your wife said she masturbates! she may want to get caught, but she might NOT! you could slowly ask her if its alright for you to masturate with her, or she does it under cover :)
I would say my one of my fantasies is for the wife to lay on her back on the edge of the bed, and me with cherry fav lub on my knee go inbetween her legs with my tongue once she finished, I want her to sit up & push me down on my back then rub her feet in my face then pure lub on my penis and finish me off with her feet. and no penatration involved to have fun!
I openly tell my OH that I mastrubate, he too would love to watch me play.
I enjoy mastrubating but dont want stared at. I do tend to play with myself if we are in bed and he's too tired for sex.
I think that masturbating in front of each other is a lot more natural when it is done in the course of a love play.
If I was to say to OH, 'Well, I am now going to masturbate, while you watch me' when we are both fully clothed and not at all sexually excited, it would feel odd. Likewise, both I and her would feel embarrassed if caught in the act - say I enter into the room and she is doing it, so, what am I suppose to say, 'Oh, sorry, you are busy now... well.. I just wanted to say that there is a letter for you.., whatever. Shall I come later?'
Conversely, while we are slowly undressing each other,etc and play with own genitals, it is a lot more natural and makes us more comfortable. Then I can't see problem why your OH should feel uncomfortable with it!
me and my OH often masturbate together. mostly just lying in bed together- he likes to hold me while i use my vibes!
if i were you, i would try suggesting that idea to her- just lying together in bed, eyes closed, stroking her while she plays :)
obviously you wouldn't be watching but holding someone while they bring themself to orgasm is pretty amazing and maybe doing that a few times might make her move onto more revealing things like you sitting between her legs and stroking and kissing her legs while she plays.
katmiaow wrote:
if i were you, i would try suggesting that idea to her- just lying together in bed, eyes closed, stroking her while she plays :)
This sounds spot on! And as Rach74 says, maybe she wants to get caught...
Nothing hotter that watching your OH masturbate and as Jo says it is much better if it happens naturally. My GF prefers to watch me start first-that gets her really turned on and relaxed so she then can let herself fully go. Maybe worth a try...
Jo wrote:
I think that masturbating in front of each other is a lot more natural when it is done in the course of a love play.
If I was to say to OH, 'Well, I am now going to masturbate, while you watch me' when we are both fully clothed and not at all sexually excited, it would feel odd. Likewise, both I and her would feel embarrassed if caught in the act - say I enter into the room and she is doing it, so, what am I suppose to say, 'Oh, sorry, you are busy now... well.. I just wanted to say that there is a letter for you.., whatever. Shall I come later?'
Conversely, while we are slowly undressing each other,etc and play with own genitals, it is a lot more natural and makes us more comfortable. Then I can't see problem why your OH should feel uncomfortable with it!
Spot on!!
Avrielle_Aniko wrote:
Masturbating alone and masturbating in front of someone are two very different things.
My partner got me out of my shell in the bedroom when we first started our relationship in many ways and masturbating in front of him and with him was one of them.
The first thing he did was have us fondle eachother at the same time. So we were lying next to eachother and he was touching me and I was touching him. I very much enjoy this.
The next thing he did was make me lie back and have him touch me without me touching him. So I'm lying on my back, and he is on his side and he is getting me off. I kept wanting to reach for his penis to give him the favour too, but he would have none of it. He kept saying "Ah ah ah! You aren't allowed that until you come." Lol! I felt a bit uncomfortable at being the centre of attention, having to lie there and not do anything, but I enjoyed that fact that I was "Not allowed" to touch him. Being a sub back then, it's obvious I enjoyed it. Heh!
Then it was mutual masturbation. He masturbated in front of me first, for the first few times, like just before he was to orgasm so he would ejaculate somewhere on my body. I very quickly began to enjoy this. Then he masturbated in front of me at the start of sex, just lying down, and looking in to my eyes/kissing/fondling my breasts, then pushing my hands down between my legs. It took a while but I managed to gain the confidence to do it eventually, on the condition that I was under the covers to start with. Slowly the covers came off and I was able to enjoy masturbating in front of him while he masturbated in front of me.
Slowly but surely, I managed to gain enough confidence to actually masturbate solo in front of him.
It's a long road when you suffer a lack of confidence, but don't push too hard and keep it subtle and you may get there in the end and your wife may come out better for it!
Good luck. xx
(Edit - I need to point out that this was over a course of weeks/months... Don't expect it to happen in a single sex session. Keep it slow. xxx)
This is exactly how me and my boyfriend started out!!
However, we haven't watched each other masturbate solo yet, so far it has always been mutual :) I love it and it's made me feel so much more comfortable 'letting go' in front of him!
x x x
be patient and drop sublte hints. Definetly dont bang on about it and make it a big deal. I also dont think a few drinks will help as she might get regretful/embarrassed after. Just pay lots of compliments to her
Dee_licious333 love your comments
I can tell you all men love watching women masturbating so sexy
Just tell your man to pass you your favorite vibrator a masturbabte, enjoy do what you want. Get him to put some good porn on. A guy with a huge cock wanking on the porn DVD works for my wife. My wife is usually such a prude but give her a good vibrator and a fucking huge cock and she goes mad
Hope this helps
Wanking here just thinking about my slutty wife
Tony
hey tony you better have a look at the rules mate before you go too far
Dee_licious333 wrote:
Jo wrote:
I think that masturbating in front of each other is a lot more natural when it is done in the course of a love play.
If I was to say to OH, 'Well, I am now going to masturbate, while you watch me' when we are both fully clothed and not at all sexually excited, it would feel odd. Likewise, both I and her would feel embarrassed if caught in the act - say I enter into the room and she is doing it, so, what am I suppose to say, 'Oh, sorry, you are busy now... well.. I just wanted to say that there is a letter for you.., whatever. Shall I come later?'
Conversely, while we are slowly undressing each other,etc and play with own genitals, it is a lot more natural and makes us more comfortable. Then I can't see problem why your OH should feel uncomfortable with it!
Spot on!!
never done it like this, sometimes say on a sunday morning my OH is horny and im not and he has stonking hard on and ive just woken up, he will start to play with himself and i find this erotic and a turn on, same goes for the other way around, or sometimes when he has been out and ive had a bath and on the bed masturbating and he comes home early, im not going to jump up like a prude and pretend i havent been doing anything, he pops his head round the door and it turns him on and turns me on with him watching,
never would i say "oh im just going to masturbate" or any of the examples jo has put
i have never understood why masturbating has to be hidden, ive always said i would much prefer my OH wanking to porn or mags (in the old days) or just using his own mind, than going out being unfaithful to me, to me masturbating is a natural thing to do
round of applause to rach 74 quite agreee oops my hands slipped off lol no seriously a good answer