Hello there and welcome to the forum.
I really don’t have too much to offer other than to say that I completely agree with the others above.
Having not long come out of two failed poly relationships myself, with insecure, toxic, cheating men who both dared to call me the 'toxic" one for daring to raise ny concerns in the relationship, however gently, I can tell you that people can and do say the most vicious things when they want out and they aren’t happy. If I were you, I’d set it as a boundary now that you must be respected, because you deserve to be respected - I’ve already decided that if a man labels me as “toxic” again, we’re through on the spot: that’s a projection and I don’t deserve it when I’m trying to help our relationship grow.
Just to add to my story there slightly, my last ex blocked me in retaliation for me blocking him once (I took a poorly communicated Whasapp message the wrong way, he blamed me entirely for that too). I noticed a few days ago that he’s unblocked me since, about three weeks later, I guess because he missed me - he missed his supportive, loving, patient, “toxic” ex. Too bad, so sad, I blocked him for good and without telling him why because he blocked me without a word when I asked him to communicate with me to try and sort us out. I am much better off without him and by the sounds of her you’ll be much better off without her too. You might not feel it right now, but you will be 
Regarding your penis, I would strongly advise you to stay away from getting it rated online. I got my face rated online once and I got rated a 4, despite being able to charm just about any man that I encounter and despite being told by a friend-kinda-more last night that I am “very pretty”. As others have said, perfect penises vary and as long as it’s clean, somebody will love you - all of you