Simple question which I hope is self explanatory: what’s the weirdest thing you’ve used to masturbate with, or had sex with (or tried to)? I’ll accept you telling me what you know others to have done too.
I know one girl who masturbated with an ice lolly and then ate it (must not have lasted long). I know one guy who told me he liked to have sex with the cushions of his sofa. I saw a girl use the top of an empty wine bottle once.
I kind of feel like I’m messing up with my masturbation game.
Washing machine - still one of the best vibratory a girl can get - just not easy to put into your handbag 
Not sure I would get the same result myself if I tried it. Maybe some day I will just to see.
The handle of a shower brush 
I’ve been DPed with wine bottles. Felt nice, but didn’t get me anywhere near cumming.
1400 or 1600 thousands spins lol
Homemade stroker. (Pringles tube, rubber glove, sponges, and of course lube)
Me and my ex used to use the neck of a reef bottle. For those that don’t know, it was basically an alcoholic J2O but the neck ot the bottle was ribbed so felt great. It was basically a hollow glass dildo. Although, im a few years older and wiser now and would not advise anyone to put any form of glass inside them, that hasnt been made for that purpose.
There is a certain amusement to using a large carrot and then serving it up for dinner 
I don’t think I have used anything weird on myself.
OkOk who remembers Monkey from the ITV Digital Advert?
I had that soft toy and it gave me a awesome blowjob the mouth was just right.
Don’t worry there was no harm to Monkey. It was fully consensual 
Waste of good food that!
I read that’s basically a right of passage
That’s amazing!!!
Hi i have used hairbrush, tv remotes, xbox controls just one corner,
That was before we got toys. Hubby used a beer bottle in me but i was worried it would smash. Long time ago now
Next time I go to a friend’s house I 100% will be wondering when I see the tv remote if it’s been used as a toy hahahha
Handy wipes soon clean them up. Sky remotes are a bit big but work
When I was just starting out as a young wanker, I experimented with just about anything in the house that could pass as lube, starting with my parents’ KY Jelly, and when I was concerned maybe I’d gone through a noticeable amount of that moving on to baby oil, vaseline, and all manner of kitchen fats and shortening (vegetable oil, olive oil, crisco, butter) and in a moment I still regret - toothpaste.
Eventually I worked out that I generally prefer to wank dry for no muss/no fuss cleanup, but I still am a little embarrassed about how much of the pantry I went through…
Toothpaste had to have been a moment of desperation
edited by mod
While I can neither confirm nor deny my age at the time of these events, there’s a creativity required to avoid detection from parental units that pushes one to explore all possible options.
The texture seemed right in my mind…