Can I have peoples opinions please me and my fiancé have been talking on how to spice our relationship up he suggested a 3 sum or Gangbang I myself have never done anything like this although I no he has so I was just wondering if any1 could give me any advice realy as I'm still 50/50 and don't realy want to rush into it also what do people normally find better when it's a mmf or ffm I no what he would prefer but I also need to be happy lol I don't mind female fun either before any1 asks
If you have any doubts at all you shoudn't be doing it. You're 50/50 at the minute, so don't do it. This could totally destroy your relationship. This can work for some people, but all parties need to be 100% consenting and if it's something youre not sure you should be doing, you shouldn't be doing it.
In want to try it as I'm allways up for new things I just am not sure on what I or how I could try it lol
"I'm still 50/50 and don't want to realy want to rush into it"
Honestly, don't do it until you're 100%. If your partner has done it before he'll know how to arrange it, and it's realy something you should be discussing with him.
I agree. More power to the people who can do this kind of thing in a relationship witout damaging it, but I suspect they're probably in the minority.
99/1 is still too risky, as far as I can see. If you want ways to spice up your relationship then there are dozens of others you can try before considering this massive leap.
Sometimes things are best left as fantasies.
3sums are a lot of fun for all involved if done right, both mmf and ffm. They are worth giving a go but your relationship should be strong and both of you need to discuss everything you want to get out of it first.
Our relationship is strong by far we both have said if we did it there would be certain rules but we haven't a clue how we can go about sorting things lol
As long as you both have your rules and you both stick to them then everything should go fine in principle though you also have to remember that there is going to be a third party involved and those has to be translated for them as well.
In terms of how to go about it once you both have that aspect settled the trick is finding the right person to join you. A lot of people find this easier to do online and for that you could try a site like Fabswingers which is free to sign up and use. If going down the ffm scenario you are going to be looking for the ever elusive single bi female which can take some time. Finding a guy to join you both is significantly easier in my experience.
There is also the option of local or close Swinging clubs that you can attend as a couple where you could find someone to help you both out. A lot of them tend to be very welcoming and relaxed places for the most part though they can be a little cliquey at times.
Anyway that's my two cents on where to start.
Happy hunting :)
We've done the threesome route and it's certainly a lot of fun but like MrsMcX said if either of you have any doubts at all do not do it! The first time we did it things got a bit strange between us for a few days afterwards, even though we both had spoken about it and agreed that we wanted to do it. It's definitely a good idea to set some ground rules like you have said and I would also talk about you're expectations of it too because it's difficult to know what the additional person may bring to it.
I've never tried a gangbang but I'm definitely curious although I think at the moment I would find it a bit of a daunting challenge so I can't really comment on it but I would advise trying a threesome before even thinking about a gangbang. We use fabswingers to find people to meet with and have found it mostly a good experience being on there. I hope this helps in some way and good luck :) x
Honestly, i would never do it. I'm the kind of person who sees sex as the ultimate physical intimacy, to be kept special and only done with the person you truly love and have a stable relationship with when you honestly see yourself being with them forever. I could never share, when someone is mine i want them to be only mine, i want to be the only person they think about, kiss, cuddle, hold hands with, especially the only person they sleep with. I know it is different for people who can detach sex from emotions, the ones who see it as a pleasure activity and can have it meaninglessly with anybody they physically fancy, but even the thought of some random faceless woman touching my man regardless of if he likes it or not has me seething with jealousy. If you have even the smallest doubt that you'll get jealous, or upset, then i would say don't do it. There's nothing wrong with having a fantasy, but making it a reality is not always the scenario you pictured it to be. The reality of having the person you love being sexually pleasured by somebody else, or having them sexually pleasure another, can be devastating, and make people question relationships they thought were rock solid. Sex doesn't feel the same with every person, you run the risk he prefers the feeling of sex with someone else, or even if he doesn't seeing the looks on his face, the noises he makes and how his body reacts from a very differnt POV to when you sleep with him, you may start comparing and convince yourself you're not as good, which can devastate your confidence.
If you do decide to try it, be safe. If possible ask the other person to get checked to make sure they don't have any STD's, and always use condoms, making sure a new condom is used for each separate activity and partner.
If you want to spice things up then focus on the pair of you together and forget others.
I ma not against threesomes and group stuff, and found it to be good fun when I was in my previous relationship. we were at a place where we were both happy and ventured into this knowing we would both enjoyed it.
Do not look elsehwere if you feel you as a couple need spicing up - look to each other.
If you hesitate to answer anything, then don't do it.
Maybe do some research, look at some sites (a quick google will pull up anything!), talk about what you're both after in a partner. Start off with a threesome before a gangbang, I'm certain of that! Threesomes can be amazing fun if you're all on the same page. It's not something to rush into if you're not usually 'that way inclined'.
My advice is to not take anything from porn, threesomes are nothing like what they're made out to be in films. Gangbangs are the same. Though thats a very big step to take, in any relationship!
It's not something me or my partner could/would ever do personally.
It's not something that I have ever been interested in, and I don't see that ever changing, to be honest. As a bisexual female, it's a bit of a frustrating subject because so many people immediately assume it's something I'll be up for. I once had a medium at a psychic night tell me, after finding out my sexuality, that I'd be having a threesome in the coming year. When I told her that was unlikely, she said "No you will, that's what bisexuals do." I nearly slapped the cheeky mare!
When I'm in a relationship, it doesn't interest me because I know myself well enough to know it would cause jealousy and insecurity in me. When I'm single, I'm uninterested in being a unicorn simply because of what I like in bed. I love focusing my attention on the person I'm with, gauging their reaction to certain things, intuiting what they want from their body language and feeling responsible for their pleasure. I love getting that kind of attention in return, being the complete focus of that other person... I just don't see how that's possible with another person, or other people, in the room with us. It all sounds a bit too much like a free-for-all to me and just... not my thing at all.
I have friends who have enjoyed group sex while single, but not while in relationships... perhaps they're simply less likely to talk to me about things they've done with serious partners.
I tried a threesome once with my oh's consent . It was awful . He was really keen she wasn't . I think he liked the novelty of having someone new . He really got into it and gave me a lot of attention . She was lukewarm to say the least . I tried to include her but she was rigid so not turned on . Anyway it ended in the two of them having a huge row and me exiting the house wearing nothing but a thong coat and shoes . Never again !
CutieCurious wrote: I once had a medium at a psychic night tell me, after finding out my sexuality, that I'd be having a threesome in the coming year. When I told her that was unlikely, she said "No you will, that's what bisexuals do." I nearly slapped the cheeky mare!
Wooooow. I kinda want to slap her for you! That's amazing (but not in a good way).
Finger lickin fun wrote: I tried a threesome once with my oh's consent . It was awful . He was really keen she wasn't . I think he liked the novelty of having someone new . He really got into it and gave me a lot of attention . She was lukewarm to say the least . I tried to include her but she was rigid so not turned on . Anyway it ended in the two of them having a huge row and me exiting the house wearing nothing but a thong coat and shoes . Never again !
Wait, so your other half gave consent but wasn't involved himself? It was you and another couple? Was your other half present, away? Anyway, this is what happens when 1/3 people in a threesome don't actually want a threesome. While I feel all three parties are accountable for the experience, it sounds like he wanted it and she didn't but he pushed for it to happen anyway. Yeah... don't do that.
No my other half wasn't present . He's away with the forces. He wanted me to take pics for him with a view that we would try it together when he got back . They both spoke to me on the Internet and by phone and we met for coffee first . She seemed keen at that stage but obviously did nothing for her when it happened. I don't think you can judge if you weren't part of it ! It was something I tried and it didn't work . If I had known she didn't want it I would never have taken part ! When I realised she didn't I left
Doubts can cause major problems if you go ahead and do it whilst you still have them. It's also very easy to fool yourself into thinking you actually want to do it because your partner is so headstrong about the idea.
Me and my OH decided to have a foursome with another couple first of all. We had known them for many years and trusted them. We spoke about sex with them regularly and so it felt kind of natural to do it with them.
If you are going to go ahead with it, then communication and trust is vital. First of all, it's communication between you and your OH. Secondly, it's communication between you and the other party/parties. We spent quite a while talking about it before we did it. Mainly so we could both be totally sure that we were doing it for the right reasons and so we could make sure of what we were all comfortable with.
We decided that it would be best for the first time to have our only interaction with the other couple as oral and keep the intercourse separate. We then discussed moving it forward, but due to other circumstances, we unfortunately haven't.
As with anything in a relationship - communication is everything!
Speaking from experience you must only try a 3 some or more if you are both in a very tight committed relationship and you both want truly want it. Speaking for us, 3 somes with another guy work well and we have a regular friend that we have been seeing for many years.
MMF,MMMF.FFM.FFMM.FFFM it's all been great for me. Can't say any of it has ever been bad and has always been a positive, respectful and horny experience/ It's always been more intense in a relationship and actually made the relationship stronger and also more exciting, as having the ability to explore each other fantasies and live them out is special. Be strong and go for it...!!